Chapter 10

10

J ake pulled Claire aside after the show and asked her to meet him in the back lounge once everyone went to sleep that night. She agreed, and he could barely sit still, waiting for the time to tick by. Everyone sat in the back lounge playing video games as they usually did to unwind. Claire now played games with them, and everyone took turns. It was fun having someone new on the bus to hang out with. Not that they didn't all know Claire, but she hadn't been around in a while and it changed the dynamic.

One-by-one the group dropped off like flies. Before Theo crawled into his bunk, he gave Jake a meaningful look. Within minutes, snores came from Ben's bunk, so Jake crawled out of his bed and moved to the lounge. Claire followed behind a few minutes later. She shut the door softly and turned around to face him.

She wore baggy light pink sweatpants and an oversized gray sweatshirt. He smiled at her and waited for her to take a seat. She hesitantly looked between the couches, and he secretly hoped she'd sit next to him, but she didn't. She chose the couch next to his where Ben usually sat.

Claire flinched as she pulled her legs up onto the couch with her, attempting to get comfortable.

"Can I get you anything to make you more comfortable?"

She glanced at him and blushed. "Oh no. I'm good. Sorry."

"There's nothing to apologize for."

Her eyes flicked to his before shifting away. "I just didn't mean for you to see that."

"I know. But there's still no reason for you to apologize."

She held his gaze for a moment before shifting away. "Okay."

Jake studied her. The way her fingers clenched in her lap. The way she occasionally smoothed her hand over her stomach. He took a deep breath and let it out.

"I want to start by saying you were never a distraction. Things were so busy while we were on tour, and it got out of hand. If I could do it over, I would spend every free second with you, letting you know how much I loved our time together, so you wouldn't have a doubt in your mind about our relationship."

She nodded. "Thank you for saying that."

Jake stood up and took the few steps over to her couch, and sat down beside her. She looked up at him, nervously fidgeting with her fingers again.

"I know you're fresh out of a very difficult relationship and you're navigating it, but if there's any chance for us to try again, I would like to. It doesn't need to be now or even a year from now. Whenever you're ready. I just want another chance."

She remained silent for several beats, and Jake's heart climbed into his throat.

"I don't think that will work."

He knew there was a chance she would reject him, but he didn't realize how painful it would be. A hot knife seared through his chest.

"Okay. I understand."

Before he could move to his own couch, her hands took his. They were small and petite and fit perfectly inside his, just as he remembered. He brushed his thumb over her knuckles and looked into her eyes.

She looked to be in agony.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

Her eyes flicked to the door leading to the bunks.

"They're asleep," Jake said. "Between the door being closed, us talking softly, and Ben's snoring, they can't hear us."

She chuckled. "It's not that I don't want to try with you. My brain is a mess trying to sort everything out. I was in a horribly abusive relationship. I know a lot of it was my fault and?—"

"None of it was your fault," Jake said a little too forcefully.

Claire flinched. Her eyes flickered to his and then away again.

His heart thumped as the adrenaline rushed through him. He wanted to beat that asshole to a pulp for making her believe anything was her fault. Despicable scum.

"I'm sorry," Jake whispered. "I really hate that guy. It's hard to be neutral about it."

She nodded as if she understood, despite him knowing she didn't. She believed too much of the lies that prick put into her head.

"I'm pregnant, Jake," she said.

The air whooshed out of his lungs, and his mind whirled.

She's pregnant?

He looked her over and took in the baggy sweatshirt again. It wasn't just for comfort. She had been hiding her belly. Then his mind turned to Charles—the bastard hurt her while she was pregnant.

White hot fury bubbled up inside him. He swallowed his rage and briefly squeezed his eyes shut. It took him a few moments to search for something to say.

"I see," he said.

"That's why I don't think things between us would work. I'm carrying another man's child. It's already going to be a scandal when the paparazzi catch wind of this."

"Fuck the paparazzi!" Jake said loudly, a burst of anger clawing its way out.

Claire's eyes widened and shot to the door to see if anyone would come in.

"Jake," she said softly. "Keep your voice down, please. I haven't told Ben yet."

He sighed and took a calming breath before giving her hand a squeeze. "I'm sorry. But the paparazzi don't matter. They can speculate all they want. You know none of us let it get to us."

"I just don't want to be a burden to you all."

He leaned closer to her and dipped his head to catch her eyes.

"Claire, look at me." When their eyes connected, he continued, "You are not and will never be a burden."

Tears sprang to her eyes and her lower lip quivered.

"I can promise you that every single one of the guys agrees with me. You are our family, and we will all protect you like you are, even if we aren't all blood-related." He reached forward and hesitated only briefly before setting his hand on the tiny bump on her stomach. "And this baby will be our family as well."

Tears cascaded down her cheeks. He scooted closer and wrapped his arms around her. It only took a second before she wrapped hers around him and buried her face in the crook of his neck.

He squeezed his eyes shut. It felt good having Claire in his arms again, even if she didn't want to be with him right now. But he vowed right then and there that he would do everything in his power to show her how loved and wanted she and the baby were. He couldn't lose her again—even if they were only friends.

Jake rolled out of his bunk at the announcement that they would arrive at their destination in one hour. He scrubbed at his eyes, which he knew were bloodshot. He and Claire stayed awake for another hour talking, and she assured him she wasn't going anywhere. After Claire went to bed, he stayed awake. Having a conversation with her was all he thought he needed, but now he felt the weight press on his shoulders.

She was carrying a child and was terrified of the paparazzi storm that would eventually hit them all. Jake wondered if she would try to flee before that could happen, and his stress skyrocketed, despite her assuring him she wasn't going anywhere.

He wanted to have a meeting with all the guys to discuss it, but he couldn't break Claire's trust by telling them she was pregnant. She needed to be the one to do that, so for now, he would stay quiet.

Theo came out of the small bathroom looking refreshed and halted at the sight of Jake.

"Dude," he murmured.

Jake nodded. He knew he needed to schedule an appointment with Celine. He couldn't continue to run on empty.

"I know," was all he said.

Jake pulled out his cell and typed out a text to Celine that he would like to see her about getting some sleeping pills or anxiety medication. Her response was immediate, and she said she needed to see him for an appointment first and would look at the schedule for when they could make it happen.

The guys freshened up just as the bus pulled to a stop where they had a radio show promotion. They were whisked away to hair and makeup before being put on stage for the local news show that was hosting a competition for free tickets to tonight's show.

Jake tried his hardest to stay focused, but he struggled to keep his mind on the task. The rest of the day went the same with them being carted from one event to the next until the show that night. Jake hadn't had a chance to see Claire once, and she wasn't in wardrobe that night either.

His panicked eyes searched the area, thinking that she had left again when Miranda set a hand on his arm.

"Lonnie took her to get some food since she hasn't had a decent meal today. It's been a little chaotic for us."

Jake let out a breath and thanked Miranda before dressing in his first outfit for the concert. The guys all went onto the stage, and Jake's adrenaline hit like it usually did for a show. A burst of energy went through him as they played their first set. The crowd went wild. The women screamed.

When they went backstage to change into their next set of clothing, Claire still wasn't there. Miranda gave him a sympathetic look and assured him Claire was okay. Ben didn't seem fazed by it, and Jake tried to take on the attitude of Claire being okay if Ben wasn't worried.

Jake could feel Theo watching him as they walked back to the stage. The noise of the crowd was deafening. When Jake met Theo's eyes, the question was there.

"Are you okay?"

Jake nodded, despite his body protesting. No, he wasn't okay. He needed to see Claire. He needed to know she was safe.

With one last look of concern from Theo, the guys re-entered the stage to perform their next set.

The normal burst of adrenaline was no longer there, and Jake's body told him just how exhausted he was. They played through the set, and as Jake looked out over the crowd, the lights blurred together, blinding him. At some point, he stopped strumming the guitar. At some point, the music died out. The sound of the crowd changed, and then Jake was on his knees. The guitar loudly hit the ground when he fell and darkness greeted him.