CHAPTER THIRTEEN

Loki

Two Days Later

It's been weird without Bea. She left in a hurry and without saying goodbye but texted that she would be back. That was two days ago. I can't help but think maybe I laid it on too thick with her in my den. I tried to push it a little, see if I applied some tension, if it might jog her memory of us from the night before.

Seems all I did was push her away.

I should have never gotten my hopes up when it comes to Beatrice Underwood. She is notorious for letting me down. It's my own fault for getting wrapped up in her again.

She has this fucking power over me.

She always has.

But I need to figure out what the hell is going on with our app, then get on with my life and let her get on with hers. We were both fine until she showed up back in town.

Today is the day that Haven is heading into the Women's Correctional Facility to be with Montana's mother. I need to head out into the clubroom to ensure everything is in order.

Opening my den door, I make my way out. Haven's sitting with Alpha, Poppy, and Clover at one of the tables, a folder of papers strewn across the wood, and they laugh over something that's been said.

I step up beside them as Poppy giggles in her cute way. "But I already told you, Dad. You're not doing it right," Poppy argues, making Haven and Clover snicker while Alpha groans.

"Honestly, Poppy, I already agreed to have paintball at your party and a war games theme. Isn't that enough of the macho shit? Don't you want at least one typical eight-year-old girlie thing there?" Alpha grumbles.

Poppy shrugs. "I mean… I could have an archery zone. Is that a girlie thing?" Poppy asks, full of excitement.

Clover laughs as Alpha drops his head to the table in clear frustration.

Haven wraps her arm around Poppy with a bright smile. "It's definitely not, but we can absolutely include it—"

"Haven!" Alpha snaps, his head jerking up with a hard glare aimed directly at his Old Lady.

Clover lifts her cell to show a picture to Poppy. "They have people who can bring out an axe throwing area too—"

"Jesus Christ," Alpha mumbles.

"Oh my God, yes!" Poppy cheers, bouncing in her seat.

"This party is going to be epic. And I think it's decided. While I'm inside, Clover, you're taking over party planning for Poppy. Alpha is just not going to get the right feel for what Poppy needs," Haven chimes.

Alpha widens his eyes, glaring at Haven, and Clover nods in agreement. "Sorry, Pres. But Haven's right. This party needs us girls sticking together."

Alpha frowns. "Girls… with paintballs, axes, and bows and arrows, yeah… makes total sense," he grumbles.

Haven shoves him aggressively. "Don't be such a spoilsport. You concentrate on club business. We've got Poppy's birthday. Don't we, girls?"

Poppy and Clover smile widely. "We got this, Daddy!" Poppy beams excitedly.

He inhales deeply, then nods. "Fine. It was doing my head in anyway. Clover, do you have time with your social media internship to take this party planning on?"

Clover smiles wide. "Yeah, for sure, Pres. I'll make time. And I'll even make sure to include Louis in there, too, for his big day."

Alpha snorts, nodding his head. "Yeah, the poor kid is being completely overlooked with this whole birthday thing. I'd appreciate it if you could do something for him, South, and Ingrid."

"On it. Actually, Pres, while I have you, I did have an offer come in that I wanted to talk to you about, though. This new client contacted me about their social media content. They want someone to get highlights of the best tourist locations from Los Angeles to Las Vegas and do a complete social media content campaign around it. It would actually be a high-paying job if I were to take it on."

Haven smiles wide as I glance over at her brother, Maverick, Alpha clearly doing the same thing.

"Have you spoken to Mav about this?" Alpha asks.

Clover grimaces, tilting her head. "Hmm… not yet. I thought if I at least had the all-clear from you, then I would tackle that beast later."

I chuckle, and Alpha rubs at the back of his neck as if he is considering it. "You would need to drive the leg to Vegas to get the locations in, yeah?" he clarifies.

"Yes. Drive there, stopping at their specific locations, take the content they want, spend a day or two in Vegas gathering more content, then drive back."

Furrowing my brows, I shrug. "I guess one thing you've got going for you with Mav is that you're only eighteen. You can't do anything too stupid in Vegas," I tell her.

Everyone laughs, and she nods. "Exactly, right? It's just a work trip. Nothing bad or illegal could possibly happen. I'm literally taking a bunch of photos and videos for a client."

We all turn to Alpha, and he groans while shaking his head. "You talk to Maverick, and if he says yes, then you can go. But… you have to take a brother with you for protection. I'm not letting you go all that way on your own."

Clover smiles, nodding. "Okay, deal! But first, I will plan Poppy's party and make it the best eighth birthday we have ever seen."

Poppy giggles, bouncing in her seat as Haven stands with her bags packed. "And on that note, I better get my ass out of here. Don't want to be late for chow time," Haven jokes.

Alpha stands, walking around to meet her, and pulls her into his arms, uncertainty clearly etched across his features. "You sure you want to do this?"

Haven snorts out a laugh. "This? This is nothing. Those women ain't got shit on me, baby. You wait. I'll be running the cell block by the end of the week."

Alpha sighs, resting his forehead on hers. "You fucking better. And if you're not, and you need to get out, you fucking let the guards know. They all know who you are. If you need an extraction, you fucking take it. Don't take any unnecessary risks."

Haven smiles. "I promise, I'm coming home to you, and I am gonna get the information you need. I love you."

Alpha flares his nostrils, then leans in, pressing his lips to hers. I find myself smiling as Poppy walks around to Haven's side, gently cuddling into her legs. Haven slowly pulls back from Alpha's kiss and then leans down to Poppy. "Take care of your dad while I'm gone."

Poppy smirks. "I got your back."

Haven stands and gently rubs Poppy's head. "Love you, kid."

"Love you too."

Haven turns back to Alpha, who is clearly holding in his emotions by the scowl etched in lines on his face as Haven hoists her bag over her shoulder. She smiles, then turns to walk out of the clubhouse.

"Haven!" Alpha calls out, making her stop and turn back just before she exits.

She raises her brow in question, and he exhales, staring straight at her. "I fucking love you."

Haven lets out a small chuckle and nods once. "I know. I'll be home soon," she states as she walks for the door.

Just as she's heading out, my eyes widen when Bea walks in. They stop and say something to each other as they pass, but they're too far away for me to be able to hear their conversation.

My chest squeezes at seeing Bea again after a couple of days apart.

Honestly, I wasn't sure if she was even going to come back.

Her eyes meet mine across the crowded room, and she stops on the spot, just staring at me. But before I have a moment to comprehend what our next move will be, Alpha grips my shoulder.

"Chapel. Now," he states sternly.

Furrowing my brow as he turns to walk off for the stairs, I glance back at Bea briefly. She inhales deeply before I turn and follow my president up the stairs to the Chapel.

As I walk in, Alpha isn't sitting in his chair like I thought he would be. He's pacing the floor as if he is about to absolutely lose his shit. Quietly closing the door behind me, I walk over toward him. "Okay… why do you look like you're about to run out of here and shoot anyone who moves?"

He stops, his fingers run through his hair while he lets out a long huff. "Haven's going into prison with fucking convicted murderers and drug dealers and fucking women who don't give a shit who you are. They'll shank you for looking at them the wrong way."

Nodding, I step up to his side and lead him to his seat, forcing him to sit down. Then I take my seat next to him. "Okay… remember how you have this problem of underestimating Haven? Remember how you thought she couldn't go back to The Nest to take on the people who trained her, and yet, she kicked their asses and saved your daughter from them?"

Alpha grumbles under his breath. "Yeah… but—"

"No buts, Pres. She's a trained assassin. She literally came to this clubhouse to kill you . She's the strongest woman I have ever known."

"I still don't like it…" He shakes his head, his eyes full of concern. "What if she gets hurt?"

The realization hits me, and I let out a small laugh, sitting back in my chair. My shoulders relax as I stare at him. "Pres, you better put that ring on her finger when she gets back because you're fucking besotted with her."

Alpha jerks his head back, scrunching up his face. "I plan to, but it's just going to be a low-key thing. I've done a big wedding. It didn't turn out well. This one needs to be simple."

Nodding in understanding, I sit forward. "I get it. I know more than anyone what it's like when a relationship goes sour, Pres. But what you and Haven have… it's real. She's not going anywhere. She treats Poppy like her own daughter, and anyone can see you're so wrapped up in her that it's causing you to question her, let's face it, epic skills. Pres, you know she's tougher than half the guys in this club. It's because you adore her and want to protect her that you're thinking this way. But, Alpha, even though you've been married before, Haven hasn't, and you minimizing this proposal and wedding because it's your second… is diminishing Haven's first."

Alpha sits back in his chair, his muscles relaxing as he lets out a long breath. "Why the hell do you have to make fucking sense for?"

Smirking, I shrug. "Because Haven's also the stepmother to your child and can't have any children of her own. Her and Poppy have this bond that no one can understand because of The Nest. Poppy is like the child she could never have. I know your natural instinct is to protect them both with everything you have, but maybe, sometimes, you just have to support them in their needs."

Alpha exhales heavily and nods. "Right! Got it! I have some thinking to do… now get the fuck out!"

Bursting out into laughter, I stand. He glances up at me with a single nod, and I turn, walking out of the Chapel to let him figure out his next move with his Old Lady.

At least while helping Alpha, I wasn't thinking about my issues. But now that I am heading down the stairs of the Chapel, it's impossible not to let my mind wander back to the fact that Bea is back at the clubhouse.

Somewhere.

But I'm not going to spend my time searching for her. If she is going to just up and leave without saying goodbye, she can come and find me when she's ready.

With that, I hightail it straight for my den—I have shit to do.

I close the door behind me, letting out a heavy breath, and slump into my seat. Clenching my eyes shut, I take a moment to try to clear my head.

But all I see is her.

"Fuuuck!" I groan louder than I meant to.

Opening my eyes, they automatically shift to the picture of Jason on the wall. My stomach instantly flips while I stare at my younger brother. Feelings of loss, loneliness, despair, and uncontrollable sadness wash over me.

Wishing I could have been enough.

For him.

For Bea.

It's like no matter how fucking hard I tried, I fell short for both of them.

In Jason's case, it cost his life.

And with Bea—fuck! I don't even know what the hell is going on with us. All I know is we've never been the same. And it all comes down to the same problem.

I'm not worthy.

It could just be my depression talking. Sometimes, that beast rears its ugly head more often than usual. But when the common denominator in other people's lives is you, then generally, that's a pretty strong indicator.

Turning back to the photograph of Jason on the wall, I shake my head, reach into my jeans for my cell, and dial my mom's number.

I don't know why, but when I feel this fucking shit, Mom has always been my go-to. The phone rings a few times, and then she answers, "Alex? Are you really calling me again so soon, or is this a butt dial?"

Snorting out a laugh, I sink into my chair, relaxing a little. "It's me, Mom."

"Hmm, well, all right then… hit me with it. What's going on? You in jail?"

A genuine smile lights my face this time. "Okay, okay, I get it. It's weird for me to be calling again this quickly. I know I leave it too long between calls," I reply honestly.

She sighs down the line. "Oh, honey. I'm guessing this is Bea-related?"

Hesitating, I rub my bearded chin but then decide to lay it all out on the line. "The other night, when you told me to go out and enjoy the party… I did. And when I did, I found Bea really enjoying the party. Maybe a little too much. Anyway, I took her to my room to sober her up. I had to throw her in the shower completely clothed to get her to stop fighting me. But once she calmed down, we had a moment... a really good fucking moment, Mom. It felt like us again."

"Well, isn't that a good thing, honey?" Mom asks.

Snorting out a laugh, I shake my head. "You'd think. But the next morning, I woke up and left her in bed to sleep off the hangover, and then when I saw her in the clubroom, she had absolutely no recollection of the night before. The alcohol wiped it all clean. The moment we shared and our connection we had just gotten back had vanished… just like that."

"Oh no, Alex," she whispers down the line.

"She spent some time with me after that in my den. We had another small moment. We didn't kiss or do anything this time, but there was definite chemistry. But something happened. Her eyes glassed over like she was remembering something. Then she freaked and took off. Literally. She left the clubhouse for two days and has only just shown up again a little while ago, though I haven't talked to her yet. I've been in meetings since she arrived."

Mom tuts her tongue to the roof of her mouth. "Well, honey. I can't say specifically what Bea's intentions are, but the fact she came back has to mean something. Maybe she wants to make up for lost time? You two were inseparable, and I thought you were the end game. Jason would be cheering you on. You know how much he adored Bea."

My stomach churns, and I nod. "They were great friends. He really did adore her."

"I know, honey, but you, you love her. You always have. If you have your chance at it, make it work, Alex."

Exhaling, I clench my eyes. "But what about Theo, Mom? He's never known about me and Bea."

Mom lets out a chuckle. "He's your best friend, darling. Give him a little credit… he might surprise you."

"Or he might kill me."

Mom laughs loudly this time. "He might. But wouldn't it be worth finding out… for Bea?"

Exhaling, I slump back in my chair with a hell of a lot to think about. "I gotta go, Mom."

"Okay, honey. Have a good day. We love you."

"Love you, too… and thank you. For always being here for me."

"That is my one job in life, darling. To always be here for you… any time you call. Whether it be every couple of days or every few months."

"You had to get that little dig in there, didn't you?" I tease, making her giggle.

"Honestly, Alex, just having you call at all makes me happy. I might tease you about it, but truly, as long as you keep calling, no matter how long it is in between, I will be happy. You're my son. My only son, and I love you."

My face scrunches at hearing her call me her only son. It's not a lie. I am her only living son. But I am not her only son. Though, I understand what she means.

Doesn't mean it hurts any less to hear those words, though.

"I'll talk to you soon, Mom."

"Speak to Bea. Get this mess figured out once and for all, Alex. It's gone on long enough," she states more forcefully now.

Weakly smiling, I nod. "Okay… I'll go find her."

"There's my boy."

Smirking, I roll my eyes. "I'm a man now, Mom."

"Of course… then go be a man and get your damn woman."

"I'm hanging up now." I laugh.

"Call me back and tell me what she says."

"Jesus Christ. Bye, Mom," I mumble.

"Bye, honey. Good luck," she chimes, ending the call.

Shaking my head but with a smile, I spin in my chair with some optimism running through.

Quickly, I stand before I change my mind and make my way in search of Bea.