47

My phone rang as I finished loading dirty clothes into the washer. I knew it was going to be Tyler before I picked it up. Sierra and I had hung stockings and garland already, but we were waiting for Tyeshia to put up the tree and lights.

"Hi, sweetie," I answered, balancing the phone between my ear and shoulder. "How was your flight?"

"I miss you, darling. It was fine. I just want to be home."

An announcement that one of the flights was boarding got louder then quieter as Tyler walked by.

"Tyler, are you okay? I'm really worried about you."

"I'll be okay. I'm not trying to worry you. I just don't think you understand how much you've changed my life in the short time we've had together. You're the love of my life."

And, you're the love of mine.

I wiped away a tear as I walked into my room and closed my door. "Tyler, I love you so much. But, I am worried about you."

"I'm okay, darling. I just…" He trailed off.

"Tyler?" I asked after a few seconds of silence.

He sighed heavily. "It looks like my flight is going to be delayed two hours."

He groaned, and I could imagine him slumping in his seat. "It's going to be a very long night. I have to call my grandmother and let her know. I'll text you when I get home tonight."

"Okay. You can call me if you get bored before your flight. I'm not doing anything for the rest of the night. I love you."

"I love you, too, darling."

Dad was working until seven again on Sunday. So, Sierra and I decided that we would put up the Christmas tree to surprise him. Tyeshia was spending the night since her mom was working.

"I still can't believe you waited until three days before Christmas to set up your tree," Tyeshia said, shaking her head.

I shrugged and tasked Sierra with adding hooks to the ornaments while Tyeshia and I set up the tree and put up the lights. Our grandmother had knitted our tree skirt when I was little, and we used the same one every year.

We had a fake tree complete with pinecones and snow. After a brief discussion, we opted for white lights on the tree and decided that we would decorate the edge of the room with the multi-colored lights that we had.

I left my phone in the kitchen to charge.

Sierra hooked her phone up to the speaker to play Christmas music. We finished setting up the lights and placing the ornaments on the tree as Dad opened the front door, bringing cold December air with him.

"Close the door!" Sierra yelled. "And, close your eyes! We aren't done yet. We still have to put up the lights around the perimeter of the room."

"Perimeter of the room," Dad muttered, pulling Sierra into a one-armed hug and kissing her on the forehead. "My little scientist."

She jokingly pushed him away. "What would you say instead? Perimeter makes the most sense."

"Edge? Ceiling? I don't know, Sierra, don't put me on the spot like that," Dad laughed, bending down to pet Pebbles.

He looked to Tyeshia and then to me, pulling me into a hug. "What would you two say?"

"Ceiling," Tyeshia and I said together, and we started laughing as Sierra faked a pout.

Dad headed into the kitchen as I turned off the ceiling light, so we could experience the glow of the tree.

"Lex, your phone," he called. "You have two missed calls."

I looked at the clock on the wall and then at Sierra and Tyeshia.

"Everly, probably," I said, heading into the kitchen.

My two missed calls were from Tyler. I was about to call him back when my phone rang in my hand.

"Ali? It's Siobhan."

Siobhan was calling me on Tyler's phone. I could only think of one reason someone else would be calling me on Tyler's phone.

I sat down at the kitchen table and closed my eyes as tears started to fill them.

"No." It was all I could say. "Please, no."

I heard her put the phone down and scream.

No. No, no, no. Tyler, no.

I put my phone on speaker and set it on the table next to me. Tears started streaming down my face.

"What am I supposed to do?" She sobbed. "I grabbed his phone and closed his door. He's in there all alone, but I can't go back in there."

I looked up to see my dad in the doorway with Sierra behind him.

"Siobhan, talk to me. What happened?"

"Ali. He's gone. He's –" she choked. "I don't know what to do."

I shakily got up and put my phone in Dad's hands. "Help her," I said as I shoved past him and Sierra and ran up the stairs to my room.

I started screaming. I grabbed my pillow and started beating it against my bed as hard as I could, tears streaming down my face. Feathers started falling from the hole I'd made and that just made me hit it harder. I was screaming at Tyler for leaving me, screaming at myself for not doing more to stop him, screaming at his grandmother for not caring enough.

When my pillow was empty, I moved onto my bookshelf, knocking books to the floor. After a few minutes, I threw myself onto my bed and started sobbing. I felt my bed sag near my feet and looked up to see Sierra sitting on the edge with Tyeshia in the doorway and Pebbles laying on the floor.

Tyeshia gingerly stepped into my room and handed me a wrapped package the size of a book.

"What is this?" I asked, sitting up and idly turning the package over in my hands.

"We were going to give it to you for Christmas, but we thought you could use it right now."

My hands were shaking as I gently tore the snowman wrapping paper. I could barely see through the tears in my eyes.

It was a framed picture. The picture that Tyeshia took of Tyler with his arm around my shoulders kissing my cheek over Thanksgiving break. I had forgotten that she took the picture.

I started crying again. It was a combination of so many emotions I got exhausted just trying to sort them out. I kept rubbing my thumb over his face on the glass.

My dad knocked on my open door, and all three of us jumped. Sierra scooted back against the wall, and Dad took her place. He set my phone upside down on my bedside table and took my hands in his. Tyeshia sat on the other side of my bed, and we all looked to him for guidance.

He shook his head, tears in his eyes. He opened his mouth to say something, but nothing came out. He shook his head again, taking his hands from mine to hold his head in his hands. He took a deep shaky breath, and we all heard a sob.

Tyeshia and Sierra each laced their fingers through mine. Tyeshia squeezed my hand, and Sierra rubbed our dad's knee.

He looked up at us, tears streaming down his face. None of us had seen him cry before. Not after coming home after a stressful day, not when I lost my baby, not during the divorce. He glanced around the mess that was now my room and focused back on me.

"Lexi," he whispered. He took a deep breath and placed his hands on both of my knees. "I don't know how to help you through this. But, we will get through this. You will get through this. I need you to promise me that you will lean on the three of us."

I nodded. "What about Siobhan?"

"She's going to need us, too. Did you tell Everly yet? Or, your mom?"

I shook my head. I'd text Everly, but the idea of talking to my mom sounded exhausting.

"Can you tell mom?"

A pained expression filled his eyes, but he reluctantly nodded. He leaned to kiss me on the forehead and then got up.

"Will you be okay?" Sierra asked.

"Yeah. I just need to let Everly know."

Sierra and Tyeshia both gave me a hug and stood, walking out of the room.

Dad raised his phone to his ear and dialed. "Nora, please listen to me," I heard him say as he walked out my door and closed it behind him.

Me: Come over. I need you

Everly: What's wrong?

Me: Please

Everly: I'm on my way

I didn't know how much time passed before Everly knocked on my door. It felt like a few seconds, but it also felt like an eternity "What's wrong?"

Her face fell when she saw mine.

"What happened? Are you okay?"

She sat down next to me on my bed and took my hands in hers. When I didn't answer, she squeezed them. Hard.

"Alexia, talk to me."

"Tyler's gone. He…he –" I tried to say more, but the words got stuck in my throat.

"He's gone." The words were barely a whisper, and I started sobbing.

"Oh, honey," she whispered. She pulled me against her and held me as I cried. I cried until I couldn't anymore. I felt dried out, exhausted, and heartbroken.

"Do you want me to stay?" She asked. Her phone lit up with a call from Sabrina. She ignored it, and it rang again. She sighed and turned her phone off.

"You should call her back. I missed a call from him and…"

She shook her head. "You're my priority."

"I'll be okay," I said. "I should try to sleep. And, you should call your girlfriend back."

My hand drifted back to the picture that Tyeshia and Sierra had given to me.

"You know it was real, right?" She asked. I looked up at her, hugging the picture to my chest. "That's why it hurts so much."

"If it was real, then why didn't he stay? Why did he leave me?" I started crying again.

"I think if it wasn't for you, he would have left a long time ago."

I nodded. I knew she was right.

"You need to drink some water. Maybe take something for your head?"

"Yeah, okay. Can you stay tonight?"

"I will. Let me run home and get some stuff." Everly stood and called Sierra from my doorway. "I'm going to get some stuff to spend the night. Make sure she drinks some water while I'm gone."

Coming back into my room, she said, "I'll be right back."

Then, she gave me a sad smile and left.

I folded a blanket to rest my head on and fell into a restless sleep.