Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

Juno hadn't gone home with Piper expecting this. He'd hoped for burritos, which were now getting cold on the coffee table. He'd expected conversation and maybe even learning about the man a bit—and Piper hadn't disappointed. The man was a goddamn rocket scientist and an astronaut. Those were two very unexpected things. And he probably would have been happy to sit on Piper's couch and listen to his stories about what it was like living on the space station.

But then Piper had kissed his hand with his full, warm lips, and Juno had shattered. He was on the verge of begging, but Piper hadn't let him get that far. Instead, he'd taken Juno by the hand and led him to a dark bedroom.

Juno hated it immediately. He didn't want to be in the dark for as long as he could see Piper's face. But it felt intimate and almost necessary as Piper's massive hands began to undress him. He was careful with Juno, tender without making him feel like he was breakable.

He kissed every inch of exposed skin as he peeled away Juno's shirt and then his jeans, then his socks. He kissed his sweaty, bare feet like they didn't smell from being on them all day. He nibbled at the backs of his thighs and kissed the join between his leg and his cock. He skipped all the needy parts of him, paying closer attention to the pieces of Juno that rarely got attention.

This was not Juno's first go around with a veritable stranger. He was good-looking and always had been. He'd been hit on by peers and people in power. He'd had to hide from people in charge of him when he was in the system and the occasional boss who thought he was an easy, vulnerable target.

Those people had put Juno off seeking anything with men like Piper, but he was different. He wanted Juno—that much had always been obvious—but he didn't treat him like a doll or a piece of meat. He laughed at his jokes—he genuinely laughed, even when it was obvious he didn't get the humor. He smiled a lot, and brought Juno little gifts to his bakery, and always made him feel like he was worthy of taking up space.

He'd only known him for two months, but Juno felt like he'd been in this man's orbit for years, and he was afraid to stop, even if he was also afraid to let gravity draw him in.

"Talk to me," Piper murmured as he kissed over Juno's chest. "Tell me if I'm doing it wrong."

"You're doing it all right," Juno said. His voice was thready and small, and his cock was throbbing with each beat of his pulse. He wanted Piper so badly it made his teeth ache. "Will you finger me?"

Piper groaned. "Yeah. I can't fuck you tonight, but I can finger you and suck you off."

Juno's hips rolled against Piper's. "Is it condoms? Because I'm on PReP, and I get tested regularly."

"I would never put you at risk." He hesitated, and Juno could tell there was more. "But it's not that. I…it's been difficult, um, for me to get hard, and…yeah." Even in the dim light, Juno could see him blushing.

He quickly cradled his face. "Hey. Hey." He lifted his head and took Piper's lips in a long, hot kiss. Piper tasted like coffee, and he kissed like he hadn't done much of it over the course of his life. That was a tragedy Juno would visit later.

For now, he took him by the chin and guided the kiss the way he liked it. Piper was wrong about one thing: he was smart. He followed directions very well.

He took to kissing Juno like it was his sole purpose on Earth, and soon enough, his pressing, hot, wet tongue was dragging Juno toward the edge. Christ, it had been too long since he'd done this and even longer since he'd done this with someone he wanted.

And he was fairly sure he'd never wanted someone as much as he wanted Piper now.

"Do you have lube?"

"Yeah," Piper whispered.

"Get it."

Piper rolled away, pawing around in his drawer until he came back with a bottle of KY. Juno almost laughed at how nervous he looked. Like he was about to jump out of his own skin. Then, a thought hit him, and it almost stole his boner. "Hey, Piper…am I your first man? Like, are you just figuring out your sexuality with me?"

Piper blinked, then snorted. "No, sugar. I'm gay, and I've known it for a while. I've just, uh…well. I've been in the closet for a long, long time. And I've never been in a relationship. Why? Am I doing this all wrong?"

Juno quickly shook his head. "No. I just wanted to make sure. You seem nervous, and I want this to be good for you too."

"It's already better than I could have imagined." Piper kissed him again, pinning him to the bed with his lips as his hands opened the tube with a soft click. He felt Piper's arm moving, and then two slick fingers brushed under his balls, and Juno pulled his legs up toward his chest. "Fuck," Piper groaned. "Let me see you. Yeah, just like that."

Juno rolled his hips to give Piper access, and it only took a moment for him to breach Juno's hole. It stung in the best way, the hot burn trailing up his spine, curling into his stomach, and he rocked his hips downward as Piper pushed deeper.

"You're so tight," Piper moaned.

"It's been a while for me too."

Teeth grazed his hammering pulse, suckling gently, drawing blood to the surface of his skin. He felt it when a bruise bloomed, and while he knew he should tell Piper to stop, he didn't want him to. He wanted to feel the ache for days—see the evidence on his skin for as long as he was able to.

He shoved that thought aside quickly. He pulled back and rolled his hips to change Piper's angle, and a gasp erupted from him when his fingers grazed his prostate. "There. Fuck…right there. Right there."

Piper finger-fucked him the way Juno was begging for it, and then he carefully slid down. Juno widened his eyes, focused as best he could as Piper parted his lips and licked at the head of his cock. He wanted to sear this image in his brain forever. If he lost everything, the only thing he wanted to keep was this.

"Please," Juno whispered. He reached down and traced a touch down the side of Piper's face. "Please, please…"

"You don't need to beg me, sweet thing. I'm all yours." He sealed that promise with a kiss to Juno's thick, hard shaft, and then he took him down in a single swallow.

For a man who claimed he hadn't done this much, Piper sucked dick like a god. He took Juno all the way to the back of his throat without choking, then swallowed. Juno's vision whited out, and his heart began to hammer in his ears as he fucked Piper's mouth.

The fingers in his ass began pumping faster, and Juno only had a moment of warning before he was tumbling off the edge. He came hard, and Piper made a soft choking noise before pulling off. Juno had just enough clear vision to see come dribbling down his chin, and his dick gave another hard throb.

Swiping his mouth, Piper carefully pulled his other hand away, and Juno's ass felt almost painfully empty. He began to shiver when Piper slid off the bed and walked away. The feeling was too intense, overwhelming, like he was slipping into a black pit that was going to suffocate him.

He managed to turn on his side, burying his face in the pillow as the heavy feeling in his chest overwhelmed him. He didn't realize he was crying until Piper was wrapping around him, kissing the back of his neck.

"Hey. Hey. Oh, sugar, please come back to me. I'm so sorry."

Juno blinked through foggy tears and sniffed. "Shit. No, don't apologize. This wasn't you."

Piper looked unsure as he used his thumb to brush tears off Juno's cheeks. "Was it too much?"

"Everything is too much," Juno admitted. "I wanted to forget, but seeing your face…I don't want to lose it. And I'm going to." A dam broke, and Piper curled him close as Juno shattered apart with a silent, gut-twisting scream.

Juno swore his breakdown only lasted a few minutes, but as he opened his eyes, he realized it was darker than before. He panicked before seeing the glowing wall clock across the room and it told him that almost three hours had passed.

He was still curled against Piper, who hadn't moved other than to grab his phone from wherever it had been, and he was smiling at his screen.

"Something funny?"

Piper jolted, then looked down at him. "My brother likes to send me kitten reels. He thinks I should get one to keep the dog company."

"That's a terrible reason to get a kitten," Juno said, then stretched. He was slightly embarrassed about falling apart after what was maybe the best orgasm he'd ever had, but Piper didn't seem bothered. He was relaxed and still smiling. "The only reason to get a cat is that they're amazing."

Piper laughed. "I'm learning to be a pet person. I never had the opportunity before, and I'm not even sure I want the responsibility."

"But you want a service dog?" The words tasted ashy on Juno's tongue because he might have to get one, too, someday. He didn't hate the idea of having one. He hated knowing he'd need to.

Piper shrugged, reaching out and brushing fingers over Juno's tangled curls. He was careful with them, careful not to tug or dislodge them from the way they were set. He tugged on a ringlet and smiled. "I'm on the list, but I'm on the fence. I don't want to break a promise to my brother, though. I don't think I could live with myself."

Juno frowned. "You spend a lot of time making other people happy, don't you?"

Piper blushed and glanced away, his shoulders hunched. Juno had always been a little too good at poking at people's soft underbellies without realizing it until it was too late. But he didn't take his question back. He had a feeling Piper was the kind of man who had been setting himself on fire to keep others warm for way too long.

"We forgot to eat," Juno eventually said into the silence.

Piper blinked, then laughed softly. "Yeah. I got up for a few minutes and put the burritos away so we could reheat them after you woke up."

Juno rolled onto his back and stretched. He was gloriously naked, and he felt oddly free. He'd never felt like that with another lover before. He looked up at the ceiling fan and realized he couldn't see the light fixture unless he closed his left eye. His stomach twisted. Was that another blurry spot, or…?

His eyes watered, and his vision cleared.

"Why'd you let me sleep so long?"

"Because you finally looked like you were at peace." Piper touched Juno's chin and leaned down to kiss him before sliding to the edge of the bed. "Feel free to use the shower if you want. And I have sweats if, um…"

"If?" Juno pressed.

Piper took a step, then turned back to face him. "If you wanted to stay over."

He did. God, he did. He wanted to fuck Piper again without falling apart. And he wanted to make sure Piper felt good too. "You don't mind?"

Piper smiled and shook his head. "No, sugar. I definitely don't mind."

Sugar. God, he really, really liked when Piper called him that. He smiled and let the man steal another kiss before he walked away.

As he left, Juno pressed his fingers into his eyes and rubbed and rubbed until he saw stars. When he closed his left eye, the center wasn't dark. It was still that greyish blob, which meant he was losing his ability to perceive light there. His stomach started hurting all over again.

Could he actually live like this?

For the first time since he was a moody, lost teenager, he wished he had family he could call. Being unceremoniously dumped and then ignored for most of his life didn't give him any real connections. He'd looked up an aunt and a couple of cousins when he first aged out, but no one wanted to see him. His mom was the pariah of the family, and he was a reminder of her sins.

For a long time, he thought it was better not to know any of them. What good could they bring him if they treated him like the reminder of his mother's mistakes?

Now, he was facing down this big, genetic thing, and he wondered if he had siblings facing the same condition as him.

He didn't remember any brothers or sisters, but there was every chance that other kids had come before and after him. He thought about the little genetic testing kit that was sitting on his kitchen table. He'd bought it for himself six months before, as a birthday present since he rarely splurged on stuff he didn't absolutely need.

He thought he could be brave about it the day it came in the mail, but he hadn't touched it since.

Now, he was wondering if he should. Maybe it would bring him some peace.

Rolling up to sit, Juno forced himself to get out of the bed and walk into the bathroom. His face was splotchy from crying, and he had a dark, almost perfectly round hickey on the side of his neck. He pressed his thumb against it for long enough that pain sparked through his nerves. It was the good kind, though—the kind that reminded him someone wanted him.

Even if it wasn't to keep him.

The thought of being with Piper forever made him feel like he was floating, but he wasn't sure he wanted to condemn the man to life with someone who would always be a little bit of a hot mess. Even if he could be independent, he was going to lose important things.

And that wasn't even touching on all the abandonment baggage he carried about being thrown into the system and unceremoniously forgotten by the people who were meant to care about him.

All of that should probably give Piper pause.

And that was assuming Piper wanted more than a hookup. Piper himself had admitted that he'd never done relationships before, and if Juno had learned one thing about himself, it was that he was never going to be the special one. He was not the kind of man who changed other people's minds about love. So no matter how much he wanted Piper, the last thing he needed to do was get his hopes up that this meant anything.

Shoving all that out of his mind as best he could, he hopped under a cold spray and used some of Piper's lavender soap to wash the bits of come off his body. The scent was soothing enough to make him feel a little sleepy, and he wrapped himself in a towel before finding his clothes on the floor. He fished a hair tie out and wrapped his hair in a sloppy bun before digging through Piper's drawers. He found a pair of sweatpants that didn't hang off him too badly, then snagged a Henley with it, letting the sleeves fall over his fingers. He took one last glimpse in the mirror, then opened the door and trailed a touch along the wall as he made his way back out into the living room.

Piper was bent over the coffee table, arranging all the food, his glorious ass just out there, so Juno rushed up and palmed it with both hands. Piper gasped and almost fell forward, but Juno managed to catch him before he toppled face-first into piping-hot burritos.

"Shit. I'm so sorry," Juno said through nervous giggles.

Piper straightened out and looked over at him. "You really like seeing me fall on my face, don't you?"

"Mostly, I just like your face," Juno admitted, still laughing. "And your ass. I'd like to see more of that."

Piper snagged him by the loose sleeves and wrapped Juno's arms around his waist. He leaned down and kissed him softly until all the laughter had died away and all that was left was a quiet moan. "I like you too. And I really like seeing you in my clothes." Piper gave him a sharp grin. "And I'd like to see more of that."

Juno didn't want to let himself read too much into that, but the way Piper was keeping him close, a dangerous spark of hope was starting to burn.