7. Chapter Seven

How stupid was it that I was excited for manual labor? Me. The king of laziness. I couldn’t remember the last thing I even assembled. Wait, had I ever used a tool that wasn’t music related? Maybe I better stick to moving boxes. “Yo, anyone home?” I hollered through the iron bars of the locked gate that led to the bar.

“Coming!” Reagan called out from the other side. As soon as I saw him, a stupid grin spread across my face. “Good morning, handsome.” He unlocked the gate and immediately pulled me in for a hug and kiss. “I’m so sorry, I meant to have the PDA discussion with you yesterday. I hope I didn’t overstep?”

“Overstep away, I’m good with it.” Reagan locked the gate behind us, took my hand and led me back to the storage room. “Wow, those are huge boxes.”

“Yes, I may have been a bit overzealous, but I wanted something sturdy. What we had was falling apart and we had to stop putting the cases of alcohol on them because they weren’t safe. These bad boys hold up to three hundred pounds of weight.” He was so proud of himself. It was too fucking cute.

“All right, put me to work.” We moved the items from storage out to the bar area then assembled the shelving units. Reagan was smart enough to not order anything with Swedish directions and for the most part, these units were the kind that locked into place and were easy to assemble. It helped that the directions weren’t written for engineers. Once we got the first one done, the other four took no time to complete.

“Let’s put the paper supplies on one unit then stack the alcohol by type. All the rum together, all the vodka, etcetera.” Reagan and I worked in tandem and were done by noon. “What time is practice?”

“Two. I only have to run home and grab my gear so I’m good time wise.”

“Great, follow me.” I followed him back to the massive industrial kitchen. The hotel crew that took care of breakfast prep and serving were just finishing up for the day. “Any dislikes? Allergies?”

“Not that I’m aware of.”

“Great. Grilled cheese and chips it is!”

That was fucking funny. “All that quizzing for grilled cheese?”

“Is that a complaint, Mr. Gray?”

“Hell no, more of an observation. Point me to the plates.” I grabbed those and chips while Reagan whipped up the sandwiches.

“Let’s sit in the bar and eat, I’ll grab our sodas there.” This was nice, having lunch together. Kind of a calm before the storm for me given the nerves I had over how practice was gonna go. The guys weren’t happy when we last spoke and I wasn’t sure what to expect when I got there. “You doing all right?”

“Yeah. Today’s been fun. Not gonna lie, I’m not looking forward to practice today. The guys were pissed Saturday night. Nigel hates me and I don’t know why. It can’t just be about my past, can it?” Reagan took his time responding, ate a couple of bites and took a drink before he spoke.

“Not my story to tell, but just like everyone else, he has a past and it’s not perfect either. Honestly, the two of you need to sit down and hash it all out. Neither of you are bad guys but you both have a chip on your shoulder the size of Canada and until that happens shit’s gonna build up.”

“True. Maybe if I get him away from the band in a neutral space that would help. Do you think?” How I’d get Nigel to agree to that, I had no clue.

“Maybe. So, how did you end up as a backup guitarist for one of the biggest in the metal scene? I mean, I don’t know much about your industry but that doesn’t seem like the kind of job you just walk into.”

I nearly choked on my sandwich, hadn’t anticipated that question. Hell, no one had ever asked me that. “Yeah, not as glamorous as one might think. Taylor, the guy who taught me and really who saved my life, was in a band. Not sure I told you that before?” He shook his head side to side. “The last time I’d snuck out to watch them play, I showed up with a bloody lip and two black eyes. I had a couple broken ribs, too, but that wasn’t the first time, so I knew they’d heal. Taylor and the guys freaked the fuck out. Shit, I was like, thirteen at the time. They decided that was the last time my father touched me. Not sure what went down but I crashed on the couch in the two-bedroom apartment the four of them shared. They left for a while and came back with a grocery store bag of my clothes. Guess they had a conversation with my old man, and he basically shoved me at them. No one ever came looking for me, not my old man nor the school. Hell, the only reason I went to school was because I was on the free meals program. He never fed me, barely kept anything but booze in the house. And thus began my career as a roadie. One time, I was backstage practicing on one of Taylor’s acoustics when in walked Ryder and Derek.”

“Wow, that’s like a dream for many.”

“Yeah, but that wasn’t when they hired me. Taylor and the guys did their best to keep their partying away from me, claiming they didn’t want to be a negative influence. When Taylor overdosed, the band fell apart. By then I was a legal adult and a well-known local roadie. They weren’t a huge band but were on the verge of getting signed. So, when there was a call out for an open roadie position, I applied, and Maiden plucked me and a couple other guys up. After that, I worked directly with Ryder, keeping his babies in tune, and well cared for. We practiced together and fuck, man, he was my fucking hero.” Hero worship was a real thing and Ryder was all that to me and more. Our backgrounds and shitty ass childhoods left a lot to be desired, but it was another common ground for us. We’d sit and talk for hours, and I considered him a friend. Then my dumbass had to go and fuck that up.

“Think you can repair that relationship?”

“I wish, but I know I have a lot to prove to not only the guys in my band, but to Maiden, Social, and Masterson as well. Sal gifting us this chance is a huge step, like he opened the door, which he more or less already said, and I don’t plan to fuck it up. I know my words mean nothing to anyone…”

“They mean something to me.”

My face heated, I didn’t know what it was about Reagan’s blunt honesty, but it hit me deep. “Thank you. Right now, you’re the glue that’s holding me together. No one, outside of Ryder that is, has ever taken the time to get to know me. I hope you understand why I’m terrified of fucking this up and fucking us up.” Reagan leaned toward me, and I met him halfway. His lips pressed to mine eased my overactive mind. With Reagan by my side, it was like I could take on the world and actually win this time. How was that even possible when we’d only been dating for a day? Sure, we’d danced around this for years, but did that really count?

Maybe.

And I trusted him. Saying those words aloud yesterday shook my world all the way to its axis. Scary as fuck, or they should’ve been yet somehow, they weren’t.

“You look like you just had an aha moment. Everything all right in that head of yours?”

“Some things just kind of sneak up on you when you least expect it.” That was the truth of it. “Well, if you’re done with my superpowers for today, I gotta head out, grab my gear and face the firing squad.”

Reagan smiled, beautiful and blinding. I was in so deep already, there was no chance I’d come out of this with my heart intact. “You’re good to go, Superman. Thank you for your help.” Did I lean in and kiss him? Go for a hug? What were the rules? “Easy, tiger.” Reagan pulled me against him. “Why don’t you tell me what just went through your mind so I can help ease the worry marring your handsome face?”

I loved that he called me handsome. I’d never thought of myself that way. I mean, I had no problem pulling when I needed a willing body, but I don’t know, just thought I was okay looking. “I guess I’m just confused about what the rules are with us. Do we kiss goodbye? Hug? Are you supposed to make the first move and I wait?”

“First off, there aren’t any rules, per se. Regarding kissing and hugging, that’s open for both of us whenever. I too have no issues with PDA nor with anyone finding out we’re dating. What we do is our business, not theirs and if we want to kiss in front of a room full of people then we will. If they have a problem with that, they can go back out the door they came in. As far as the rest of our relationship goes, I get the impression you want me to take the reins for the most part?”

“Oh, thank fuck.” My lungs filled with a rush of air. “It’s just too much for me to worry about. You taking charge is a huge weight off me.”

“I’m good with it as long as you promise to let me know if I cross any lines.” It was hard to think while in his arms. His thumb traced my bottom lip while his other arm kept me close, safe. “Josh?”

“Hmm, yes, sorry. I promise.” When he cupped the side of my face, I immediately leaned in, wordlessly begging for his touch. One day soon, I hoped to feel his hands on every inch of me. Reagans lips pressed to mine, and I lost all train of thought. Who knew a kiss could convey so much and be so sensual. My lips parted and his tongue danced with mine. When had I ever kissed another like this? Easy answer—never. One didnt generally kiss hookups. It was too personal. Sure, every once in a while thered be a kiss or two that got through, but for the most part it was all about getting off and not about building more like Reagan and I were.

When it ended it was far too soon, but we both had things to take care of. “All right, my lone wolf, Ill be here tonight closing. If you want stop by after practice, you know where to find me.”

“Ill be here, its not like I have anywhere else to go.” Shit, why did I say that? I loved coming here. It was the only part of my life I looked forward to. Watching Reagan work helped me get through those long, lonely years.

“Gee, I feel so loved.” He rolled his eyes and I laughed and kissed him again.

“All right, Ill see you in a few hours.”

“Good luck with the guys. Youve got this.” His words were heartfelt, though I wished I believed them.

When I got to the practice site, their cars were already there. The old me would have had a devil may care attitude and not gave two shits what they thought of me. The new me cared way too fucking much. “Well, there he is, the man of the hour.” Jason at least smiled as he said it when I walked inside.

“Hey, guys.” I plugged in and took my place in the lineup. “What song are we gonna start with?” I almost brought my notebook with me but given how our last conversation ended, I wasn’t ready to give that side of me if I was getting the boot. I had no clue where I stood with these guys now. Focusing on doing what it took to make them happy and prove myself was a must.

“First, we need to address the elephant in the room.” Yup, that’s why Jason was in charge. “Are you in or not?”

“I’m one hundred percent dedicated to this band, and I promise I won’t fuck it up.” Could I make that any clearer to them? Jason nodded, Marley fist bumped me, and Nigel stayed put behind his kit and snarled. Well, two out of three were better than what it was Saturday night.

After that, band practice went smoothly without anybody trying to choke me. I’d call that a win even if it was short lived. “Don’t forget we have a show tomorrow night, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday, too. Also, I got an e-mail from Sal. The bus will pick us up a week from Thursday and we should get to Black Rock City for Rocktoberfest sometime late Friday night. We play Sunday at noon.”

Was I ready for this quest? Great question, only problem was the answer was irrelevant. I had to be for my bandmates, to prove to Sal I was worth taking a chance on, and for my pride.

“Hey, handsome,” Reagan greeted me with a kiss when I walked into the bar. “How was practice?”

“A hell of a lot more painless than I thought it would be, and nobody tried to choke me.”

“Well, that’s a good thing at least.”

Who knew how long that would last. At some point, I rubbed everyone wrong.