Chapter 15

CHAPTER 15

N oel

Pressure.

Unrelenting pressure in my head and in every inch of my body.

Those were my first explosive sensations as I rocked up from a tenuous unconsciousness.

The most startling thing about waking up from a strangled sleep was not knowing where I was. I'd gotten very good at knowing every inch of my surroundings, waking up at the slightest sound. The moment I opened my eyes, utter terror rushed into my system because I couldn't recognize anything, which meant I'd fallen into a deep slumber.

How in the hell was that possible given the circumstances?

Cars chasing us.

Terrified for my life and that of my pup.

A fiery crash.

My God. Why was fate out to get me?

And where was I? What…

Breathe, just breathe.

Had I been so wrong about Kage? Was that his name?

I took several scattered breaths as my inner voice commanded, studying the dying fire in a fireplace I didn't recognize. Hearing a slight snoring sound, I shifted my gaze, thankful to see Max resting comfortably on the other end of the couch. Without moving, I scanned the room, noticing Kage was dozing in a chair close by. In his lap was a weapon, which I hadn't noticed before. A new trickle of fear skittered down the length of me.

Who had he gotten mixed up with and could I believe his bold story?

Sadly, I had a feeling I could.

Kidnapped.

I wouldn't exactly call what had occurred being kidnapped since I'd gone with him almost willingly, although it had been under duress. But he'd been right. We'd been followed. Chased. They'd almost been at my house. My. House. Why? Because I knew Kage? Or was there something more sinister going on?

The possible threat rushed into the forefront of my mind. It was impossible not to think about it.

Impossible not to fear what had always seemed like the inevitable.

Stop. Just stop.

If I didn't, I could go mad or lose my shit altogether.

Whatever was happening, I could sense Kage was full of anxiety as well as anger. While he'd been the brooding type, one of the quietest men I'd ever met, there was no sense of anger. In truth, he'd had a calming effect and I had a feeling it had been because he'd been around Max.

So many things were bugging me, aspects of what was happening keeping me in a mild state of shock, but I continued to allow my mind to drift to how familiar my pup and the man were. Was it remotely possible Kage had been the prisoner who'd trained my beautiful dog?

It didn't seem plausible since my identity, like his, had been on lockdown. But stranger things had happened. Right?

I shifted on the couch, noticing he'd placed a blanket over me. How kind of him. I had full sarcasm in my thoughts, although I did believe his intent had been keeping me safe. And alive. I shuddered to think who the men were. Mafia? I knew the organizations existed, but here in Colorado?

Again, I had to remind myself that anything was possible.

Max was cuddled up, his body so long lying over my legs that I almost felt trapped. But it was his way of making me feel protected.

And loved.

Both of which I'd longed to feel.

As I rubbed Max's head, I couldn't seem to take my eyes off the huge man slumped in the chair. The images running through my mind were twofold: the possibility he really had killed people and the passion that he exuded from every pore. I'd learned to place a shield around myself, one made of iron and steel, titanium and whatever other hard metals were out there, but he'd somehow managed to pick my armor apart with ease.

Some would say that was destiny, or perhaps just the right man at the right time. As I noticed the boarded-up windows, was able to gather a musty scent from the cabin obviously being unoccupied for some time, I had to face the fact that this wasn't some kind of romantic moment in time.

This was running away from danger.

This was being held captive, against my will.

This was…

I settled back against the pillow, still stretching so I could reach Max's head. I adored stroking him behind the ears. Maybe things could work out. Maybe I could get over my ugly psychosis.

Maybe I could learn to breathe, and live.

And love again.

Or maybe the boogeyman was ready to once and for all claim his prey.

Sleep.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd shut my eyes and hours had passed. As I opened them, I noticed the fire first for a second time. While it was little more than embers, the red glow was enough to remind me of where I was.

I noticed a stream of light coming in through one of the windows. I also realized Max was nowhere to be seen. Now I jerked up, a slight moment of anxiety rushing in. Of course I knew Kage would never hurt him but I was the one at this moment who felt more than just a hint of sick anticipation.

The entire night before suddenly came crashing down. The odd phone call. The storm. The desire for violence. The man I barely knew showing up in the middle of a torrential rainfall.

And being taken from a home I'd worked so hard to build.

I was suddenly hyperventilating, barely getting enough air into my lungs to keep me from passing out. As I threw back the covers, my legs managed to get tangled up in them and I fell hard against the coffee table. Seeing stars, I tried to control my mind and body's reaction to stress and fear. Sadly, for all the sessions I'd been through with a shrink, all the exercises to control my true worst enemy, my own mind, I was suddenly back to point zero.

"You will learn to serve me, you little bitch, whether you like it or not. Don't make me grow tired of you before it's your expiration date."

I could hear his laugh, his fucking laugh as he'd banged my head against a wall, ripping out sections of my hair.

Tears sprang to my eyes, a scream threatening to give away my terror. I wasn't certain how I managed it, but I finally crawled from under the tangled mess of covers, and away from the couch. My vision was blurry, which also hadn't occurred in a long time. I was falling into the darkness that now rarely manifested itself.

The fear was real, the ache in my temple was real. The hatred of the world was also real. I realized I was whimpering like a child, trying my best to keep from sobbing as I fought to get to my feet. There were lights on, but everything had an ominous shadow, figures looming everywhere. Why did I need to go through this? I'd worked so hard. I'd tried everything.

Something in the back of my mind snapped and I refused to be this way. I placed my hand on the surface of some table, willing my muscles to stop twitching so I could stand. Every part of me was shaking but I managed to place one foot on the floor, doing my best to hoist myself up. Why did it feel as if I was being weighted down, monsters trying to drag me to hell?

I was almost there. Almost.

As if in slow motion, the table turned over, a lamp crashing down only inches away, my face smashed against the cool wood. A single yelp escaped my lungs as blackness overtook my mind and my soul.

Tears began to fall, anguished cries sounding hollow and bitter.

Suddenly, there was more light, heavy footsteps and instant warmth. When I felt a tongue licking my face, the raspy feel comforting, I reached out to my pup just as he lay down next to me, keeping me safe.

Letting me know everything was going to be alright.

But was it?

"Jesus Christ," he muttered.

My mind wasn't too far gone to know Kage was talking. I felt his heated presence as well as he crouched near me. Blinking, I started to be able to focus, enough so that I watched as he flexed his fingers open, acting as if he was going to stroke my face before curling and pulling his hand away.

I heard him sigh and I closed my eyes, still trying my best to concentrate on my breathing.

"So cold. I'm so cold. Are we alive? Am I dead?"

"No, babe, you're not dead. Oh, woman. What am I going to do with you? Let's get you up." I was suddenly in his arms, curled tightly against his chest. I'd never considered myself the kind of woman who could be picked up so easily by a man. Truth was, I'd always felt self-conscious since I wasn't a tiny thing but, in his arms, I felt like a little fairy princess.

The thought was ridiculous but needed.

He held me tightly and I was certain he was going to place me on the couch as before but when he grabbed the blanket, somehow maneuvering it over me and walking to the open front door, I lifted my head.

Max was right there, tall enough to place his wet nose on my arm every few seconds. As Kage walked outside, he finally peered down at me. "Take a deep breath."

I did as I was told. The air was cold but so refreshing. Unlike before, I was finally able to breathe easily, filling my lungs with the crispness.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he asked as he stepped off the front porch onto the remaining snow that covered the entire area like a warm blanket.

I hadn't seen anything the night before and as he headed to the middle of a short span of wide-open space, he spun around. It allowed me to see the incredible view of the mountains on three sides. They were snowcapped and huge, the bright blue sky almost blinding. They were also so close that I knew we were high in the sky, obviously at several thousand feet. I could also tell that by the thinner air, although I was still under the effects of the horrible attack.

As I shielded my eyes, I took a few seconds to bask in the beauty of my surroundings. My heart rate finally calmed below the hysterical level.

"Not really. I just… It's something that doesn't happen all the time. Don't worry. I'm not an invalid." I sensed he was studying me like some freaking specimen, and I instantly started to struggle, trying to get out of his hold.

"Woman. You're not going anywhere like this. Your feet are bare. You have no coat. No hat. No gloves. I just wanted you to see that you have nothing to fear while you're here. With me. I ain't much of a man in some people's eyes, but I will promise you that if anyone tries to hurt you, I will fucking… hurt them."

The anger and vehemence in his voice was heartbreaking more than anything. I placed my hand on his chest, the move as calming as Max's cold nose and the warm blanket. "You're much more than just a man, Kage. You're an amazing savior and someone I'm glad to have in my life. Don't sell yourself short. I won't."

So, I suddenly believed him? Maybe.

I'd tried so hard to keep my instinct intact and while I should be fighting him every step of the way, it seemed the huge man genuinely cared.

Either that or this was the best con job in the world.

He smirked then scowled. Whatever the hell the man had been through had stripped away quite a bit.

"Yeah, well, don't call me a savior just yet, sunshine and rainbows."

"Where did that come from?" I asked, the fog finally lifting.

"Would you prefer I call you gloom and doom? Or maybe blood and gore?"

"Eew. No. I'll take sunshine and rainbows." Even if that's not what my life was made of.

"So here's what's going to happen. I'm going to put you down and you're going to drink some hot coffee before putting on some very warm clothes. Fresh air and some hard physical labor to drive the demons away will do you some good."

"Is that what you need to do to rid yourself of your demons?" I shouldn't have asked something so blunt. He immediately started to shut down.

"I deal with my shit my way. You're going to do as I say. After that, you and Max are going to help me remove the boards from the other windows. Sunlight is good for the soul. Then we'll make a huge breakfast that will lead to a nice long nap in front of the fire."

"Is this the kind of life you prefer to live?" At least I was able to tease him, even if the fear and worry was right there chipping at portions of my sanity.

"I could think of worse ways to spend my life. Let's get you inside before you freeze to death."

"Contrary to what you just witnessed, I'm not a fragile woman."

He stopped just as he stepped foot on the porch. "Lady, from what I can tell, you're one of the strongest women I've ever been lucky enough to meet."

There were times a man was able to say all the right things, or so he believed. He'd learned them through some crazy playbook that far too many dudes used, acting as if the same one-liners and compliments meant anything to a woman. Maybe men didn't know that women could see through bullshit a couple of miles away.

They also knew when something was heartfelt, if not difficult for a man to say. Kage was an anomaly amongst men, the kind of guy who took no shit from anyone. He told you like it was, had no issue showing his anger, yet couldn't handle softness very well. That made the compliment that much more special.

Sure, somewhere in the back of my mind I knew at least a part of me was supposed to be furious, fearful, and doing what I could to keep my emotions in check around the man. But he was so damaged, so jaded that I found myself drawn to him. It wasn't just about a moth to a flame. More like a drunken group of moths to a firestorm.

At least my crazed imagination was still working. Goody for me.

It became obvious that giving out compliments strained him, or at the very least made him feel awkward. He said nothing else as he returned me inside, gently easing me to my feet. As he walked away, I noticed he was in faded, ripped blue jeans and a bright red plaid flannel shirt. At that moment, especially since his two-day scruff covering his perfectly chiseled jaw appeared closer to a week, he was the epitome of a mountain man.

He only needed the axe positioned over his shoulder to make it work.

There were about a million questions I wanted or needed to ask but I knew I wouldn't get any answers, at least not right now. He enjoyed falling into his silent brooding mode and I wasn't certain now was the right time for my injured psyche either.

So I took his lead, remaining just as quiet. I was happy and surprised to find a few bags of canned and dry food on the kitchen table; another bag that I noticed had a few stuffed toys peeking out of it, which Max was currently trying to get to, even whining.

He'd brought an entire huge bag full of Max's toys, which reminded me I'd gone overboard in purchasing a couple or three dozen for him in a wee amount of time. He'd remembered Max's bed and his food and even his monthly heartworm, flea, and tick pills. Who was this man? The questions continued to mount as I prepared to give Max his breakfast inside the very nice kitchen. Another shocker. I laughed finally, feeling a little more of the weight disappearing as I grabbed a couple of his toys, tossing them onto the floor.

He easily chomped down on them, his entire backside wiggling.

We both stood watching the pup happily playing as if nothing was wrong. Finally, I grabbed his food bowl, pouring out a hefty amount for the hungry pup and placing it on Max's placemat next to his already full water bowl. Kage might be a gruff man but he had a softer side I sensed rarely came out.

"Thank you for remembering to get Max's things," I allowed myself to say.

"You're welcome." Goddamn, the man's voice could be brooding and sensually husky at the same time. "Bedrooms are upstairs. I picked one out for you, but you can change it with mine if you want."

"Um. I'm sure it will be fine."

Another awkward moment of silence settled in. He'd been quiet before, but he'd been someone else altogether, not the dangerous man who'd been forced to hold me hostage to keep me safe. Just thinking about the events almost pushed the same panic buttons all over again. I did what I could to shove the thoughts aside, preferring to look around the kitchen and what I could see outside the doorway.

There were some cobwebs and dust as well as the mildew stench, but I knew when the boards were pulled from the windows, the place would be beautiful. It was awkward being in the same space not talking to the man. But he stood drinking his coffee on one side of the room with me on the other.

I know I opened my mouth a solid five times to ask some stupid question and thought better of it. I nursed my coffee, fighting nerves and frustration with having the attack, fear of the unknown, and just wanting to talk to someone. How strange since I was such a loner.

I was about halfway finished with my first cup when he suddenly poured the rest of his down the drain, still not looking at me as he walked past me toward the door. He also kept a distance between us. Even though he did, the electricity we'd both felt before crackled. I had to suck in my breath to keep from stopping him.

"I'll meet you outside."

That was it. A man of action and a few words.

Max peered up at me, a slightly confused look in his eyes. "I don't know, buddy. I don't think he's a happy man."

Woof.

"Okay, he is around you. But I set him off. I wonder why." Lamenting wasn't going to get me any decent answers. Maybe time would.

I rubbed my eyes. They were still stinging from sobbing like a baby. The laugh lingered in the darkest places of my mind but at least the moment I touched Max, I felt lighter. Alive. A survivor.

After placing my coffee cup into the sink beside his, I meandered through the cabin, admiring the stone fireplace and the leather furniture that was in remarkably good shape. With the cathedral-style roof, the kitchen, a half bath, and another room were all that was located downstairs. I held my arms as I headed to the last room on the first floor, gently pushing open the mostly closed door.

As I walked inside, my mouth dropped open. If Kage was telling me the truth and this really was his grandfather's cabin, then what the fuck was his family into? Nothing about the furniture was office normal by any means, the console a close resemblance to one used by an air traffic controller.

There were at least three computers, five monitors, and some kind of communications system. I dared not touch anything. I did notice a duffel bag on the floor. Kage must have brought it. My curiosity getting the better of me, I glanced over my shoulder before heading toward it, crouching down. I knew I was asking for trouble by snooping but if Kage wasn't going to offer any real answers, then I would need to find them.

As soon as I unzipped the oversized bag, I pressed my hand over my mouth.

Weapons.

Ammunition.

Assault rifles.

Jesus Christ.

I glanced over my shoulder just as Max padded into the room. "Who the hell are you, Kage?"

Another oozing moment of fear crawled through me. From the frying pan into the fire.

Truth.