Chapter 14

CHAPTER 14

" D o not go gentle into that good night but rage, rage against the dying light."

—Dylan Thomas

Kage

Call me an enraged man.

Right now, that was fitting, too much so for having such a fragile creature in my protection. I'd done what I'd thought was right. I'd paid my goddamn dues, but it still wasn't enough. Monsters sucked on your blood and bones until you were nothing but a corpse.

Saldono was cunning. Maybe he'd realized killing me in prison was a bad idea, but like a predator lying in wait in the wild, he'd bided his time.

Fuck me.

And I'd been stupid enough to believe the man cared about me.

Hissing, I did what I could to concentrate on plowing down the road without another incident. As the elevations increased, so did the inches of snow covering the ground. At least it seemed the ice hadn't accumulated as significantly as it had in the valley. If it had, there would have been no way the truck could have made it up the steep inclines.

The rest of the drive was uneventful and after about twenty or thirty minutes, I realized both she and Max had fallen asleep, both still nestled in the back as if we were going on a pleasure cruise. In truth, I'd been grateful for the solitude and lack of continuous questions that I wasn't in the mood to answer.

It had been years since I'd been at my grandfather's cabin, the man rarely there himself. He'd had it built as a secluded getaway from his thriving business, but other than his wife, he rarely allowed family to even know the location.

I'd only learned of it because he'd brought me to the place to handle my final training for taking over his company since my father had wanted nothing to do with it. They were cordial, even acting like they cared about each other at family gatherings, but I'd sensed there was discord between them when I was young.

The funny thing was that I'd come prepared with spreadsheets and quantitative studies on the business, eager to show him how I intended on expanding the family wealth.

He'd wanted nothing to do with that, instead taking me fishing and hiking. I'd been an eager beaver, clueless as to what the hell he'd been doing. I only figured it out after his death.

The time spent in the wilderness had been two-fold. He wanted me to truly gather a solid respect for nature in all aspects, which would alter the course of our business. And he'd also wanted to remind me about balance.

I'd used that in taking over, finding his advice useful when I'd fallen in love. It was now that I realized I hadn't been here since… since I'd lost too many people in my life and long before I'd been imprisoned.

Max had helped me open up; I was surprised the place wasn't in worse shape than it was, although it was certainly rough around the edges. But there'd been enough dried and protected firewood to start a fire. I was shocked every scrap of wood hadn't rotted, which could mean someone else was taking care of the place. If that was the case, it hadn't been for a while since the place had been boarded up. I didn't bother removing the wooden planks, something I'd do in the morning.

I simply wanted to ensure the place was warm, that critters hadn't found a way inside, and that we could feel safe while we were here. I'd forgotten my grandfather had paid a shit ton of money to have electricity run to the cabin. The fact it was still on meant someone was paying the electric bill.

I'd heard my grandpops had been smart enough to put a few things together, keeping the business running by his attorney after my incarceration. I'd yet to talk to the man and now, I wasn't certain when or if I'd get the chance.

After finding blankets someone had thought to keep covered in a huge plastic bag, I carried her to the couch, easing her down with a pillow and her pup.

I'd always known my grandfather had been not only protective of the business, he'd also been certain there were people out to get him. That had made him very secretive. Finding a full- scale communications and security system had only been a mild surprise, and in this case, a pleasant one. I'd spent some time determining what—if anything—still worked. If so, it would add a layer of protection that I'd yet to install at my place.

A huge mistake.

I'd been full of them over the years. It was time to think with a clear head for a change, foregoing my extreme anger.

While that would be tough, I was just like my grandfather, capable of doing whatever I put my mind to. Or so I hoped.

Now I sat with a drink in my hand, trying to figure out what the fuck I was going to do to get my life and hers back to some sense of normalcy.

If there was such a thing.

While the whiskey was supposed to soothe my nerves, it did very little when we had everything to lose, and the fuckers had everything to gain.

I watched her sleep, wishing things hadn't turned out this way. As I leaned back, reflective moments shot into my system. Most I never wanted to think about, but the good ones, including training Max were special as fuck. Snorting, I took another sip of my drink. It was crazy to think I was sitting here with a gorgeous woman on the run with the pup I'd spent five amazing months training. I'd seen the look in his eyes the moment he'd seen me.

He'd been struggling with his sense of duty and the bond we'd developed. Could some consider me jealous for the quick closeness he now had with Noel? I'd be lying if I said no. I rubbed my finger across my mouth, now watching his chest rise and fall. I would never forget the first night he climbed onto the shitty-ass cot I was forced to sleep on. At least I'd been given a private cell. I'd come up in the world. The memory was indeed bittersweet.

God, I hated memories.

The darkness in the cell was always oppressive but more so tonight. Max was uneasy, whimpering as quietly as he could. I could feel his fear. It was the same disturbed feeling I'd had the first few nights after being tossed into the joint. I'd become hardened. I didn't want that for my boy.

My boy.

I had to stop thinking that way. The fur baby with the horrific scars was only on loan. I remained on my back, staring up at nothing in the dark. Lights out. Forced sleep. As if at night the nightmares didn't take hold, pushing me into a fitful fight with invisible creatures. I'd learned to control them over the years, if only so my roommate wouldn't beat the shit out of me.

Or attempt to.

That had occurred once and the fucker had learned, his broken nose a testament to my capabilities even in my rocky state of sleep.

Max thumped his tail against the cold cement floor. He'd been provided with a bed, although I wouldn't call it good enough for my… for the boy. But he refused to touch it. As his whimpers became louder, I couldn't take it any longer. My heart ached for all he'd been through. We were two damaged souls hoping for a better life. I was worried we couldn't make a real go of this. He was slow to warm up and four days had already passed. At least he was no longer growling or cowering in the corner.

I had no doubt we were both praying the ugliness that we'd endured would go away.

"Max. Come here, boy. I'll make room." I tried to move as much as possible, giving him at least a small space to curl up his big body, but I was a big boy myself. At six foot five, two hundred and thirty pounds, there wasn't a whole lot of room for my long legs.

He whined for another two seconds then became very quiet. I was certain he wasn't going to take me up on my offer. As soon as I heard his collar rattle, a smile crossed my face. And when he jumped up on my legs, somehow managing to nestle himself in the crook of my arm, his spine against the wall and his head on my chest, I felt more at peace than I had in years. Long, horrible years.

I closed my eyes and within seconds, I could hear the pup snoring. Maybe we could do this after all.

I took another gulp of whiskey as the memory faded. After that night, we'd become inseparable, the pup responding to every command as if he'd been born to become a support dog. Almost immediately I'd fallen in love with him, the weight that had been strangling for so long slowly fading. I'd had hope, something I'd never wanted to feel again.

And now? Was it all going to be taken away in a moment?

Whatever happened, I couldn't allow either the beautiful woman or the dog I so adored to be hurt or killed. I'd do anything in my power to stop it.

And if that meant burning down an entire city, stringing the entire mob family and his soldiers up in the city square, then that's what I'd do.

No one fucked with the people I cared about.

Not any longer.

They had no idea the kind of man I'd become.

I snickered at the thought, fighting off the other visions that I could no longer tolerate.

Of a past that I'd worked so hard to get over, one I'd loved with everything inside of me. Now I was no longer capable of love. Besides, someone like Noel needed a decent, solid man who could provide her with the world if she wanted it. That wasn't me.

The drink was suddenly empty and I wasn't feeling any better. As I grabbed the bottle, filling the entire fucking glass with liquor, Max lifted his head.

He used to stare into my eyes for long periods during those times when I thought for certain I was going to lose my shit. He'd been able to calm the beast inside with nothing more than that look.

The very one he was giving me now.

It had also reminded me that all broken things could be fixed one way or another.

I lifted my glass in his direction, fighting an emotion that I loathed.

Sadness and despair.

"You're a great boy, Max. You found a wonderful mistress and mama dog. I'm happy for you both." And I was secretly thrilled I had at least a little while longer to spend with both of them. Shit. Now guilt was rushing in, replacing any fucking worthless concept of sadness.

Remorse was something that had been beaten out of me but at this moment, I found myself feeling far too many emotions that wouldn't suit us if I wanted us to remain alive.

I needed to shut it down and fast.

But fucking how? How the hell could I shut down feelings that had taken me so long to redevelop?

Because it was the right thing to do. For once in almost a fucking decade, that's what needed to happen. Be a good man for a change. That's what my father would say.

Or the beautiful woman with the chestnut hair and eyes the color of the brightest sky would not only learn her lover was a terrible person, she would also learn the world was filled with them.

Then again, maybe she'd already figured that out.