Chapter Four

Keylon didn’t know what was happening, but he didn’t understand why, after weeks of hiding and slinking around like a terrified cat, Winter was now everywhere .

Everywhere Keylon went, every room he stepped in, Winter was there. Even when Keylon was trying to avoid him, the dragon popped up, and Keylon had reached the end of his patience. If Winter popped up in front of him again, he’d scream.

Since he didn’t want to alarm the others, he’d started spending more time in his office and in his rooms. There, Winter couldn’t enter, which meant Keylon could be at peace. He still hadn’t heard from Faith and Cora, but they’d promised they’d start looking for dragons who wanted to be shields, and Keylon didn’t think it would take long. Being a mage’s shield was an honor.

Keylon had never understood why. The dragons were the ones who put themselves in the most danger. They had to protect the mages while they were casting their spells, and although most of the time nothing happened, sometimes the dragons were hurt or killed.

Or, in Winter’s case, kidnapped and robbed of their memories.

Keylon didn’t feel it would be an honor for anyone to become his shield. He wouldn’t be doing this if he didn’t need protection. Even with Carlyle gone, there might be someone else out there who wanted to take his place or who would be stupid enough to attack Keylon and the other mages. The bonds between mages and shields had started a long time ago, when infighting and wars had been more common, but they were still necessary. They would be especially necessary during the fight against Carlyle.

Keylon looked out the window of his office. He’d been hiding here most of the day, eating lunch at his desk and trying to work. He wanted to go outside, though, and since it was almost dinner time, he thought he could get to a door without anyone noticing him. Jarvis would try to talk to him soon. He had to be worried that Keylon hadn’t been in the dining room for meals for a few days, but that was something Keylon would deal with when he had to.

In the meantime, he left his office and slunk around the castle, careful not to cross paths with anyone. He was almost free of the oppressive tension hovering around him like a cloud when he heard a noise. He quickly reached for the door, but before he could open it and sneak outside, a voice stopped him.

“There you are. I’ve been looking for you.”

Keylon closed his eyes for a second, telling himself to have patience. He schooled his expression, then turned to face Winter. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Have you? I find that funny, considering that the last time I tried talking to you, you kept running away from me.”

Winter winced. “About that. I should probably apologize.”

“You think?”

“Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have run away, but I did, and I don’t have an excuse. It was a dick thing to do.”

Keylon told himself not to hope. This was just an apology—and a shitty one at that. “I accept your apology. I need to go now.”

“Wait,” Winter said. “I’m not done.”

Keylon swallowed. There was no way Winter was about to tell him he’d changed his mind, right? Keylon couldn’t be so lucky.

“Jarvis talked to me the other day,” Winter said.

Keylon sighed. He’d known not to hope, but he hadn’t been able to help it. Now, that hope crashed and burned, leaving a sore spot in his heart. “What did he want?” he asked in a cold voice.

“He pointed out that even though I want nothing to do with this, I am your shield. He said that if Carlyle attacks, you might get hurt because I refuse to be your shield, and I don’t want that.”

Well, Keylon supposed it was good to know that Winter didn’t want him dead.

“So I thought we could work together,” Winter continued. “On a mage and shield basis, I mean. You’ll do your magic, and I’ll protect you until this is over and Carlyle’s gone. We can go our own way then.”

The tiny flame of hope that had been burning in Keylon’s heart was definitely dead. He wasn’t surprised that Jarvis had talked to Winter. He had to have seen how Keylon and Winter behaved around each other, and he’d been worried. He was right to be, but this wouldn’t be a problem for long.

“No,” Keylon said.

Winter frowned. “What do you mean? You need protection.”

“I do. I won’t force you to do this when it’s so obvious you don’t want it. I’ll break our bond as soon as possible. I’ve already started looking for another shield, so you won’t have to worry about protecting me for much longer. I appreciate the thought, though. It was very noble of you to be willing to sacrifice yourself for a man you hate.”

Keylon’s lower lip trembled, and he turned around, unwilling to allow Winter to see him cry. He’d rather die.

“I don’t hate you,” Winter said. “There’s no rush. I don’t need you to break the bond right away. It would probably be best to wait until Carlyle has been dealt with, and I’m willing to do that.”

“Well, I’m not. You don’t want to be my shield, and I respect that. As soon as my sisters find someone suitable, I’ll let you know.”

That was the only thing Keylon could do, even though his heart was breaking again. At this rate, there would be nothing of it left by the time this was over.

* * * *

Winter was in shock. He’d known that if he refused to continue being Keylon’s shield, Keylon would have to find another one, but hearing it had made him realize it would really happen. Keylon was a powerful mage, and he couldn’t afford not to have a protector.

Winter had thought it would take more time. After all, Keylon had just found him again. Winter had thought that Keylon would try to convince him to stay and work things out. He’d been ready to tell him that he didn’t think he could, but instead, Keylon was going to release him from their bond. He’d promised that as soon as he found a new shield, he would break the bond, and once he did, Winter would be able to go anywhere he wanted. He could go home, maybe drag Samuel along with him, and they could live in peace.

That was what Winter wanted. It was what he’d wanted from the beginning, and now that he finally had it, he was happy and relieved.

He had to be.

“I didn’t expect that,” he said.

“You told me you didn’t want to be my shield. I’ve tried talking to you, and you didn’t seem to want to be in the same room as me, let alone listen to what I had to say. We could have worked things out, but it’s clear you don’t want to, and I’m tired of chasing you.”

Winter winced. “I never meant to hurt you.”

Keylon had looked angry before, but now, he looked sad, and for some reason, that broke Winter’s heart. Keylon was a gorgeous man with short, dark hair with red tips. His brown eyes always looked sad when he was near Winter, but Winter had seen him with his friends. When he was with them and he was happy, they sparkled.

No one should be sad, but especially not someone like Keylon. There should always be a smile on his face.

There wasn’t one now. Sadness was present, but also determination. Keylon wasn’t kidding. He would break their bond. It didn’t matter that it would hurt him.

“I know you’re not doing this to hurt me,” Keylon said softly. He wasn’t looking at Winter. “You’re not Alvin. I knew you wouldn’t be after we realized what happened with Carlyle’s spell, but I had hope. Parker, Marlow, and Bennett fell in love with their mages. I thought the same would happen to us, but it didn’t.”

“Sorry.” Winter didn’t know what else to say. He really was sorry that he couldn’t give Keylon what he needed.

He’d met several bonded mage and shield couples during the years he’d spent with Samuel’s clan. He’d always wanted that, but he’d wanted it with Samuel, or at least, that was what he’d convinced himself of. Being with Samuel would make everything so much easier.

Winter didn’t like the feeling of being out of control. He needed to know what was happening in his life and to be able to make his own decisions, and right now, he didn’t feel he could. He’d been told he was Keylon’s shield and that he was supposed to protect him and fall in love with him. He’d been told he’d been in love with Keylon before, but he couldn’t remember that, and while he could imagine falling in love with Keylon, it felt like something he was supposed to do rather than something he wanted to do.

He wouldn’t have to worry about that anymore. Keylon was setting him free, and there was no reason for Winter to feel guilty about it. No one could force him to fall in love with anyone. No one could force him to be a shield.

“If you’ll excuse me, I have to go,” Keylon said. He nodded and turned.

Keylon opened the door they’d been standing next to and stepped outside. It was getting dark, but it didn’t seem to matter to him. He quickly walked away, and Winter watched him go. For some reason, he wanted to call him back and talk to him some more, but the last thing he wanted was to hurt him even more. Something told him he would before the end of this, but for now, it would be better if he gave Keylon time alone.

Winter closed the door. He should probably go and get some dinner, but he didn’t feel up to spending time with others right now. Maybe he’d go to his room and start thinking about his future. Once he was free of Keylon, he could do whatever he wanted.

He didn’t manage to reach his room. Samuel found him before he could get there, and Winter wasn’t sure how he felt about that. At least everyone else seemed to be at dinner, so they wouldn’t hear this conversation. Winter doubted the other mages would be happy to find out what was happening between Winter and Keylon.

“I’ve been looking for you,” Samuel said. “I was told to look for Keylon, too. Do you know where he is?” Samuel stared at Winter as if he expected him to have Keylon in his pocket.

“Keylon went outside.”

Samuel frowned. “Outside? Why? It’s dinner time, and it’s getting dark.”

“I don’t think that’s a problem for mages. They can create light, can’t they?” There had to be a spell to do that.

“Probably, but why would he go outside on his own?”

“He needed time alone after we talked.”

Samuel stared for a moment. “Why? What happened?”

“I told him that I’d protect him until this was over, but he said it wouldn’t be necessary. He’s already looking for a new shield, so he’ll be able to break our bond soon, and once he does, you and I can go home.”

Winter had expected Samuel to be happy about it, but his best friend didn’t smile. Instead, he stared at him with an expression that Winter recognized as shock and anger.

He swallowed. He’d thought Samuel would be happy. He’d hoped Samuel would be happy.

“He’s going to break your bond?” Samuel asked.

“Yeah. It’s the easiest way for both of us to deal with this, right? If he finds another shield, he’ll be fine, and I’ll be free.”

Samuel was already shaking his head. “A bond between a mage and his shield shouldn’t be broken unless it’s absolutely necessary.”

“Well, it is. I don’t want to be bonded to him.”

Samuel raked a hand through his long hair. “But you did once. You loved him.”

“Not anymore,” Winter snapped. “In fact, as Winter, I’ve never loved him. That’s why I want to be free of his bond. I want to be able to have one with someone I actually want.”

Samuel frowned. “What? I didn’t know you were in love with anyone. Is it a mage in our clan? Did they encourage you to do this? They should’ve known better. You’re already bonded, Winter. You can’t throw that away, no matter how confused you are.”

Winter wasn’t confused. He quickly stepped forward and pulled Samuel into his arms. Samuel’s eyes widened, and he opened his mouth, but Winter ignored him. He cupped the back of Samuel’s head and held him in place as he leaned down to kiss him.

Samuel quickly closed his mouth. Winter pressed their lips together, his heart racing as he kissed Samuel for the first time. It was better than he’d ever dreamed of, even though Samuel wasn’t kissing him back.

Samuel pushed Winter away. Winter stumbled back, wondering what was happening.

“What are you doing?” Samuel asked.

“I want us to be mage and shield, Samuel. We can do it as soon as I’m free from Keylon’s bond.”

Samuel shook his head. “No. I don’t want a shield. I don’t need to be protected.”

“Samuel, please.”

Samuel turned and rushed away. Winter wanted to go after him, but he didn’t. He felt like if he moved, he’d lose pieces of his breaking heart all over the place.

* * * *

Keylon wasn’t sure how long he’d been out here. Initially, he’d only wanted some space and a few minutes to breathe, but after his conversation with Winter, he’d needed more. He couldn’t stand the thought of facing the other mages and having to tell them that he would break his bond with his dragon. He couldn’t stand the thought of having to look as Samuel and Winter spent time together. Winter was probably already telling Samuel that soon he’d be free of Keylon, and they could be together.

Keylon had no idea how Samuel would react to that, but it didn’t matter. None of that was his business. What was his business was that he had to break his bond with Winter, and along with it, he’d lose his heart.

He hadn’t gone far after leaving the castle. He hadn’t been able to. He’d crossed the courtyard, found the nearest bench, and flopped onto it. He was still there, his face tilted toward the night sky, trying to decide what he wanted to do next. He couldn’t stay on the bench for the entire night, but maybe he could wait until the others retired to their rooms. That way, they wouldn’t ask him what had happened and why he hadn’t been at dinner.

The sound of a door opening and closing in the distance made him tense. He didn’t want to talk to anyone, but he also didn’t want to tell them to leave him alone. He’d need his brothers soon, even though he didn’t want them now.

Dallin appeared at the top of the stairs. He looked down into the courtyard, not saying anything when he saw Keylon. He came down the stairs and joined Keylon on the bench, and for a moment, they stayed silent. Keylon knew his friend could see the tears on his cheeks, but Dallin didn’t say anything.

Keylon wiped at his cheek. He was angry with himself because he’d known Winter would be happy at his suggestion of breaking the bond, but part of him had still hoped he’d say it wasn’t necessary. Keylon supposed he would hope that Winter would give them a chance until the very end.

“I’m going to break our bond,” he eventually said.

Dallin made a surprised sound. Keylon waited for his questions, but instead of asking anything, Dallin wrapped an arm around Keylon’s shoulders. With his free hand, he took out his phone, but Keylon didn’t peek to see what he was doing. Instead, he snuggled against Dallin’s side, needing the support but hating himself for that. He should be the one comforting Dallin, who still hadn’t found his dragon. Sol was in Carlyle’s hands, and they had no way to know what Carlyle was doing to him.

Keylon straightened. “There’s no need for you to comfort me. I’ll be fine.”

“You just told me you were going to break your bond with your shield. That doesn’t sound fine to me,” Dallin said in a gentle voice.

“I will be eventually. You don’t have to listen to me whining about this, though. I know your situation is much worse.”

“This isn’t a contest at who has it worse, Keylon. We can comfort each other like we did for so many decades. I still don’t have my dragon back, but you don’t have yours, either, so I think we’re in pretty much the same place. Let me comfort you. You comforted me after what happened to Sol, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

The two of them had been spending more time together because they’d been the last two without their shields. All the other mages had found theirs, but not Dallin and Keylon.

Then Winter had appeared on the castle’s doorstep, and here they were.

“I don’t know what I’m going to do,” Keylon admitted. “I don’t really want to break our bond, but I don’t see a way out of it. He doesn’t want me.”

“Then the best thing you can do is to find someone else. I know it won’t be the same thing, but maybe it doesn’t have to be. Or maybe it will be the same thing if you give yourself a chance. I know you loved Alvin, but he’s gone. Winter isn’t him, and your new shield won’t be, either. Maybe you’ll fall in love with them anyway.”

The door through which Dallin had arrived slammed open, making both of them jump. Dallin rolled his eyes as he looked up. Keylon did the same, not surprised to see Penley and Ansley rushing down the stairs.

At least now he knew what Dallin had been doing on his phone earlier.

Penley and Ansley didn’t say anything. They didn’t ask questions. They squeezed onto the bench with Keylon and Dallin, comforting Keylon in a way no one else could have.

He took a deep breath. No matter what happened with his new shield, Keylon was going to need his brothers more than ever over the next few weeks. He would have to accept their gestures of comfort because if he didn’t, he’d break down. They weren’t Winter, and they certainly weren’t Alvin, but Alvin wasn’t in Keylon’s life anymore, and soon, neither would Winter. He did have the friendship of the men surrounding him, though, and hopefully, that friendship would be enough.