25. Dani

25

Dani

" A re you going to sell your house?" Rylee asks me as she fits Ava with water wings, and adjusts them on her tiny arms.

I take a sip of my iced tea. "We haven't really talked about that yet. It's too soon, don't you think?"

"Too soon. Didn't you just finish telling me you're trying to have a baby together, and yet you haven't talked about sharing a house. I don't think that's the way things are done, sister."

It's true. I did just finish telling her that. I figured if my friends knew, my sister should too, which is why I'm playing hooky this Friday afternoon, and she's here at Conner's place, in the pool. I'd picked her and the kids up earlier since it's hard to wrestle three kids alone. I wanted to have some quiet time with her while Jared was at work.

"Mommy, hurry up. I want to swim."

Rylee rolls her eyes. "Impatient, like her father."

I laugh at that, knowing the impatient one in that relationship is Rylee. She finishes adjusting the water wings, and Ava runs to the stairs, and slowly starts down them.

"Mommy, my turn." Little Jack holds his arms out, waiting for his water wings, and when Brynn starts fussing in her stroller, I pick her up and put her over my shoulder. I breathe in her sweet smell, and my heart thuds a little harder.

Rylee's eyes go soft, full of love and warmth as she watches me. "That's a good look on you," she quietly informs me with a grin as she fixes Jack's water wings. Once done, she stands and puts her hands on my shoulders. "You deserve all this, Dani. You deserve a baby, a guy like Conner and a beautiful house—with a pool—to live in."

Tears prick my eyes and my gaze slides to Jack as he runs to the stairs and jumps in, no fear at all. Will my child be fearless and athletic like Conner, or will they be a little quieter like me? Will I ever even have a child at all? "Thank you."

She cocks her head. "Hey, why the tears? All of this is good, Dani."

Do I tell her? Do I open up and say that Conner has been acting a bit strange lately? Well, ever since the house party we threw last weekend—and maybe even a little before that. He's been making calls and ending them when I walk into the room, and he's even been disappearing at odd times.

He came to visit me at work once this last week, and when I invited him to accompany Buster and me to the nursing home on Wednesday, which I thought he enjoyed, he declined. He's becoming more and more distant, just when I was beginning to believe after everything we'd overcome, it would be smooth sailing from here on out. Is he getting tired of me?

Could it have something to do with Summer?

"I think it's just all the hormones." Not a lie. My hormones have been all over the place lately. Honestly, Rylee has three kids to worry about. I don't need her worrying about me, and maybe I'm in my head too much, and Conner is just busy. We've always spent a lot of time together, but we've never lived together, so this could be the norm for him, and maybe I'm just being paranoid, because I know how fast things can be taken away.

"Mommy, look at me," Ava screams in her loud outdoor voice that I'm sure they can hear down the street.

We both watch her swim, and her happiness helps push down some of my anxiety. "Let's get in. It's hot out."

Rylee grabs the floaty toy for Brynn, and we both ease into the pool. The water is cold, but glorious. Rylee drips a bit of water on Brynn's leg and she squeals. "How's that feel, huh?" she asks with so much love in her voice, I watch on with longing.

"Aunt Dani, over here, over here," Ava yells and I swim to her, circle my arms around her and spin.

Jack, not to be left out yells, "Me, me."

"Anyway, not to harp, but you should think about living here full time," Rylee says as she comes over with Brynn.

I laugh at her. "You're just saying that because you want full access to this pool."

"Okay, so that might be true, but I really am looking out for your best interests." She glances around. "Speaking of your best interests, where is Conner?"

My gaze goes to the patio, to where he loves to lounge. "He had some errands to run. He should be back soon." He left early, and said he'd be home after lunch. It's three in the afternoon. I guess I didn't realize it would be so long after lunch.

She watches me for a second, and I avert my gaze and spin Ava around again. She giggles and it pulls the attention away from me. I'm grateful. I don't want to explain that I have no idea where Conner is, and that he should have been back by now.

"Maybe we'll buy your house so we can live closer," Rylee says with a smile.

I throw my hands up, exasperated. "It's not even up for sale yet."

"Yet?" she exclaims, with a cocky, know it all grin, and I just shake my head at her. She's right though. Maybe it is time Conner and I had a conversation…I think.

"What time is Jared coming to pick you guys up?"

"Ohmigod, are you trying to get rid of us already?"

"No, I was just curious." That and I needed a change of subject. "Stay as long as you like. I was just thinking later I might run to the Airbnb and check on Scottie. He's a new Scottish terrier that is overnight for the weekend."

"Wow, clever name."

I eye her playfully. "Be nice. Besides, are you forgetting you named our chihuahua, Bear?"

She grins. "I miss that dog."

"Me too."

"When are you getting another?"

"What are you talking about? I have hundreds of dogs." She rolls her eyes at me and before she can press, Jack, the daredevil that he is, climbs from the pool and holds his arms out. "Catch me, Aunt Dani. Catch me."

I swim to him and hold my arms out. He jumps into them and we all laugh. We spend the next hour or so swimming, and after we get out and have drinks and watermelon, Jared shows up to collect his family. I give them all hugs and kisses at the door and promise to stop by this weekend with Uncle Conner, who, apparently, they miss greatly. They're not the only ones.

It's nearing dinner and I check my phone for messages. Disappointment wells in my stomach when I find none. Before I begin dinner, I decide to rinse the chlorine from my body, and head up to the main bedroom. I peel off my bathing suit cover up and walk to my side of the bed, and open the nightstand, needing the lip balm I use before bed. As I apply it, I fix the bedding, noting the tag I'd spotted the other day is no longer there.

I snap the cap back on the lip balm, and head to the shower. The warm water is glorious against my chilled skin, and as I wash myself, I miss Conner's body next to mine. God, all the shower sex we've been having has made a mess of me. I never want to shower alone anymore.

Grinning at that thought, and working to convince myself Conner is simply busy and nothing else is going on, I head back to the bedroom, and open my side of the closet. I scan it, searching for something comfy. My gaze goes to Conner's side and I close my door and open his to find his big comfy sweatpants and sweatshirts. It's cold in the house with the air on, so I tug on a pair of his sweats and pull a hoodie off the hook. When I do, it jars the hangers and rustles his clothes.

That's why my gaze slides to the pocket of his suit jacket. I notice the pink paper, the same kind of pink paper I wrote a note on many years ago—and left on Conner's bed. What the heck? I glance over my shoulder, not wanting to invade his privacy, but with curiosity getting the better of me, I tug on it, exposing the paper a tiny little bit.

My words of love practically jump from the aged paper, and I stumble backward. Conner has my letter. Holy God, after all this time, Conner still has my letter! But what the heck is it doing in a suit jacket? I don't know, but what I do know is that it's in his possession, which means he read it all those years ago, and Alec had never taken it from his brother's room.

It also means Conner never wanted me back then.

I stare at the paper like it's diseased, my legs a little shaky beneath me. I can't decide if I'm happy I'd found it or not. Maybe I was better off never knowing. Minutes tick by and I eventually find the strength to shove the letter deeper into the pocket, and shut the door on old painful memories.

I gulp air for a minute and then, needing a distraction, I head downstairs and search for my phone, wanting to check on the animals. Seeing them always makes me happy and now, I'm not sure I want to leave the house. I think I just want to wait for Conner to return. For some reason, I desperately need to see him.

I spot his laptop on the coffee table, and not wanting to climb back up those stairs with rubbery legs, I drop down onto the sofa. In the past, Conner never minded when I used his laptop, so I grab it and boot it up. But the second I do, messages between him and Summer pop up, one after the other, after the other.

With my heart jumping into my throat, and lodging there until breathing is difficult, I'm about to close the device. This is not my business, right? You're trying to have a baby with him, Dani . I pinch my eyes shut and when I open them again, I scan the messages. I take deep gulping breaths when I read that Conner has been by her place, more than once, and judging from the last message, he's there today.

What the hell?

I slowly close the laptop, the room nearly fading to black before my eyes. I blink several times, yet nothing can keep the tears from falling as my mind races. Alec never took the letter I wrote Conner. Conner had it all this time. He never wanted me back then. Why then does he now? What changed? He, for some reason, felt responsible for me after Alec's death. Is that the only reason he's with me now? Like his brother, did he never really want me? Is he only interested now because he wants revenge on his brother? Has he been seeing Summer in secret?

Wait, what was that Summer said when I first saw her at the pool? Always wanting what the other has. Does that mean she knew what Alec had been up to over the years, and thinks Conner is up to the same antics? But how could that be possible? She didn't know Alec very well. Right?

I snatch my purse and keys off the counter, and even though I probably shouldn't be driving, I stumble outdoors, jump into my car and back out of his driveway. I'm not sure what I think I might see, but everything inside me has compelled me to drive to her address. I'd been to her place when she was dating Conner, and even if she hadn't given him her address, I'd still know how to get there.

Twenty minutes later, I pull up on the street…behind Conner's car. My heart is thudding so hard, I'm sure I'll be hitting up the emergency department after this to mend a broken rib…and maybe even a broken heart. My phone pings and I quickly snatch it up, to see a message from Rylee, thanking me for a wonderful day. I debate on messaging her back, to let her know that mine went completely downhill afterward, but I'm getting ahead of myself. Maybe this is all nothing.

Were you born yesterday, Dani?

No, but I really don't want to think the worst of Conner. He's always been there for me, and I love him. Maybe I should go. Maybe I should let him explain whatever this is when he's ready, because in my heart I know he's not a man to cheat.

I'm about to start my car, only to stop when the front door to the building opens and out walks Conner, his arm around Summer, as he clutches the hand of a small boy who is the spitting image of the man I love.