24. Conner

24

Conner

I head to the locker room after a fun practice with the kids. I usually enjoy the camps more than I did today. I tried to put on a happy face, though it was hard with so much shit on my mind. Mainly, Summer's laugh. Had I blocked it out all these years, after hearing it the day my brother called to take Dani to the hospital? Was there a part of me that just wouldn't allow myself to think that Alec wasn't only betraying Dani but was also betraying me—with Summer? Not to mention that Summer was betraying both of us as well.

Jesus Christ, what is going on with my life?

But that laugh. Now that I've heard it again, it untangled something in the back of my mind and took me right back to the day Alec called me, the day I called him back, demanding he get home…the day he died.

Why…why the fuck did he have to want what I had?

Did he not realize he had it all, including the most amazing woman in the world, one who I never thought I'd be good enough for? Neither one of us deserved what he did to us, and no matter what, Dani can never know. I can't hurt her like that.

But seeing Summer with that young boy at the nursing home has left me unsettled, and trying not to be distracted this past week has been nothing short of impossible. Dani must know something is off. She's astute and I'm not that great of an actor. It's true, the party at my house was not the time to corner and question Summer. I hadn't meant to, but the second I saw her standing alone, I pounced. Not my greatest move, I know.

She was the last person I expected to show up at my house. Although I don't know why I didn't expect it. She's dating Knox and naturally he was invited to the party. It's not like she saw me at the nursing home. She had her back to me and after I saw the boy, I bailed. There was no saying the child was even hers, which is why I let it go, until I couldn't hold the question back anymore, because yeah, his eyes are the same shade of blue as mine.

Do I have a child?

She never answered me when I asked the question at my place. My voice no doubt held a shit ton of accusation, and took her by surprise. She became flustered and tongue tied, and when she glanced over my shoulder, I knew Dani had returned to the room. I ended the conversation, but it's not over. No, it's far from over. I don't know when I'll see her next, only that we have to talk. It's not like I can do it around the guys, or Dani. Does she still have the same contact information?

I snatch my phone up, and scroll through it, finding Summer's number. I should send a text off, see if she answers. I go to my texts, and punch out a message to Summer, telling her we need to talk. I'm not sure if it's still her number or not, but what else can I do?

I hit send and smile when I see the last person I was messaging was Dani. She naturally questioned me the night of the party, and I simply told her I was surprised that Summer showed up at my place. While that is true, it's not the entire truth. Fuck, how was I supposed to tell her I might be a father, when we've been trying so hard to have a baby? She hasn't said anything, but it's clear she's worried she'll never get pregnant again.

"Something on your mind?" Noah asks, coming in and dropping down onto the bench beside me.

"What?" I turn to him, my attention scattered.

He nudges me as he takes off his skates. "Whoa, dude, what's going on with you?"

"Nothing…just…it was weird that Summer was at my place." I'm not sure if I'm making a statement or asking a question.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to get used to seeing her around. She's with Knox." He eyes me. "You don't still have a thing for her, do you?"

"Fuck no," I answer quickly and adamantly. "That was over, before it was officially over."

He nods. "You and Dani, that's where it's at, Conner."

I meet his eyes, and take in the seriousness. "I know that."

He pats my shoulder. "Don't fuck it up."

I snort out a laugh, afraid that I might do just that. "I have to run. The kids want to head to the park and get ice cream. Join us if you want."

I smile, as I imagine that life. It's the life I want, with Dani. But now there might be another child in the picture and dammit, if the child is mine, I want to be a part of his life. How could Summer have kept this from me? Does she not want me in his life?

Okay, slow down, Conner. You're getting ahead of yourself.

"Rain check. I have some things to do," I finally answer when I realize Noah is standing at his locker waiting for a response.

"Sounds good." He closes his locker and gives me a nod before leaving.

One of the boys I coach walks into the change room and holds his hand up. "Great practice, Coach," he says to me with a big smile.

"You did good, Liam. Keep that up and we'll be playing in the NHL together." He gives me a big toothy grin, and I open my locker and grab my bag. The weather is warm when I walk outside, and my phone pings. I pull it from my pocket and read the message from Dani.

Dani: How was camp?

Me: Great. Just finishing up.

Dani: Want to pop by and say hello to the dogs?

I'm about to tell her I'll be right there when a message from Summer lights up my phone. Holy shit. My heart races a bit quicker.

Me: Sorry, I have some things to do.

Dani: No worries. See you for dinner tonight. It's a nice night for a barbecue.

Me: Sounds good.

I stare at my phone for another minute. Three dots appear and disappear. Fuck, I hate not telling her the truth, but how can I? If this turns out to be nothing, then nothing ever needs to be said, right? I don't know if that's logical or not. I only know my main goal is to protect Dani until I have all the facts. I open the message from Summer.

Summer: Come by my place. I'm still in the apartment on Granville Road.

I shove my phone into my pocket and with my heart climbing into my throat, I hurry to my vehicle, a new purpose in my step. I have no idea what faces me when I reach her place. I only know if I have a child, I should have been told. Honest to fuck, anyone who would keep that information a secret, depriving a father the right to know his child, is lower than low in my book.

I pull into traffic and head towards Summer's place. As I drive through the busy downtown core, something niggles in the back of my mind. I pinch the bridge of my nose when I come to a red light, my mind going back to that chaotic day when we lost Alec.

I was a hot mess in the hospital. After calling my brother, demanding he get home from New York, or he'd be dead to me, I called my parents, and Dani's. The light turns green and I start driving. Alec never reached the hospital. In fact, he wasn't that far away when he was sideswiped, hitting a streetlight head on.

How was it possible that he'd driven from New York to Boston in less than two hours? Unless he wasn't in New York. Jesus Christ. If he was in the city, does that mean he waited, letting a couple hours tick by before driving to the hospital after I called. I had assumed Summer had gone to New York with him. As my mind goes over a million different scenarios, none of them good, I step on the gas, needing answers, and needing them now.

Twenty minutes later, I reach Granville Road and stare at the apartment building. Summer lived here while she was in college. I figured she'd have moved on from it at this point. I park my car, slam the door and hurry across the busy street.

I buzz her apartment, and she lets me in. Anxious, I take the stairs instead of the elevator and when I approach her apartment, she's opening the door.

"Hey," she murmurs quietly, and I'm pretty sure I've never seen her so worried in my entire life, which gives me an even bigger knot in my stomach.

"Hey."

She shifts from one foot to the other and I glance over her shoulder to see the young boy from the nursing home pick up a toy airplane and run through the living room. He comes down the hall to the front door as Summer remains perfectly still. He stops and stares at me.

"Hi again," I say, and Summer's eyes go wide.

"You…what. How do you know Tyler?" She picks him up and holds him tight to her chest.

"At the nursing home."

"What were you doing at the nursing home?"

I grip the doorframe. "Can I come in?"

She hesitates for a moment, and holds Tyler tighter, like she's worried I'm going to take him from her or something. Does that mean he is mine?

She nods, and moves to the side. I push past her and she shuts and locks her door. I step into the small living room. Not much has changed in her place in two years, except, of course she has a child and the place is filled with toys.

I turn back to her and find her watching me with suspicious eyes. "Dani takes the therapy dogs there on Wednesday. What were you doing there?"

"My grandmother. She was recently admitted."

I nod, standing on shaky legs as I take in Tyler's big blue eyes. "I heard your laugh. It reminded me of a time, long ago." I look back at her, and narrow my eyes. Does she know what I'm talking about?

Her eyes go wide, and okay, yeah, she totally knows I'm talking about the day Dani lost the baby and Alec lied about where he was. "You knew Alec was with me?"

"I knew he was with someone. I didn't know who, until I heard your laugh at the nursing home. It was the same laugh I heard over the phone when Alec called me. So, I went and investigated and saw you."

"You saw me? I didn't see you."

"You had your back to me. That's when I saw Tyler. He came out from around the other side of the bed."

She blinks rapidly, the color draining from her face. "You didn't say anything?"

"I wasn't sure what to say. But I have questions. Lots of them."

She gulps and sets Tyler down. "Tyler, why don't you play in your bedroom." She guides him down the hall, and I drop into her wingback chair, bracing my elbows on my knees as I try to quiet my racing heart and brain.

She comes back into the room, her body tight as she sits on the sofa across from me. She lifts her gaze and it's shaky when it reaches mine.

She gestures toward the kitchen. "Can I?—"

"Is he mine?"

"Conner."

I lean forward. "Is he mine, Summer?" My voice comes out hard, and she winces, but fuck, I'm angry. Angry at her, at my brother…just fucking angry.

"He's not yours." Her voice is so low and weak, it's a surprise I could hear her.

"How old is he?"

She gulps. "He's just a little over one."

Okay, we all know math isn't my strong point, which could be why I miscalculated how long it would take my brother to get home from New York—or maybe my brain was protecting me from things it wasn't ready to know—but I'm able to do this math.

"We were together at the time then. If he's a little over one, and you add nine months pregnancy to that, how is he not mine?"

"Because he's…Alec's."

I jump up and nearly send the chair backward. "What the fuck?" Holy Jesus, how did I not even consider that possibility?

"How do you know?"

"I did a paternity test."

I grip my hair and tug as I begin pacing. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I didn't want…to lose him. You have a loving family. I was a student with a mom who cared only about herself and a grandmother who wasn't well. I didn't want your parents to take him away from me."

"You denied my parents from knowing Alec's child." I point to my chest. "You denied his uncle from knowing him. If I really am his uncle. I'll be taking a paternity test, Summer." I stomp toward the door. With my hand on the handle, and unable to look at her any longer, I stare at the door and ask, "Was he here, in this apartment with you that day?"

A long beat and then, "Yes."

Just like that, the world as I knew it comes crashing down around me. If Dani finds out, it will destroy her. But how can I not tell her?