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23. Dani

23

Dani

I study the stick, and my heart sinks into my stomach as the negative pregnancy sign stares me in the face. Dammit, I really hoped this would be it. I'm beginning to believe it's never going to happen for me. I don't want to believe I can't get pregnant again, yet a small part of me is terribly worried. Tonight is the night we're having a party to celebrate Conner's turn hosting the cup. While I wouldn't have widely announced that I was pregnant, as I know how wrong things can go in the first trimester, I would have at least whispered it to a few of the women.

Conner wraps his arms around me. "I'm sorry, babe."

"Oh well, it's fun trying." I put on a brave face as he holds me, and I lift my face to his, trying to shake off my sadness. We do, after all, have a party tonight. All our friends, and relatives are coming, and I'm honestly looking forward to hosting everyone in Conner's house. It will be nice to make this big place feel like a home. "We should get ready. Everyone will be here soon."

I start to back up but he pulls me tighter. "Are you sure you still want to have this party?"

"Absolutely. Even if I didn't, it's too late to cancel now."

"No, it's not."

I put my hands on his chest, and there's just something so comforting about his strong heartbeat. "I really want to have this party."

His face is serious. "Dani, were there any complications after last time?" His eyes narrow even more. "Did the doctors say…anything."

"No, it happens, Conner. It just wasn't meant to be."

"This time, though." He drops a kiss onto my forehead. "It's definitely meant to be." I nod, and inch back. I take in his blue eyes, which hold a lot of concern. While they've always held concern for me, I think something happened at the nursing home a couple weeks ago. He disappeared from the lounge for a few minutes and when he came back he was distracted. I'm not sure what happened. When I asked, he said it was nothing. He's not a guy to lie, so I took his word for it.

I give him a whack on the ass to set him into motion. "Go, get ready. I'm okay. I promise."

"I'm going to give Mom and Dad a call. They weren't sure if they could make it or not." He pulls his phone from his pocket as he leaves the bathroom and I turn on the shower. Being out and in big crowds is still hard for his parents. I do hope they can come for a short time to celebrate and honestly, they seemed so happy about Conner and me together. Everyone has been, and that's such a surprise to me. Back in the day, Conner only wanted to be friends. His nonresponse to the letter proved that. God, I don't want to think about the letter, or the fact that he might never have received it.

I strip off and climb into a hot shower, and when I'm done, I dry off and spend a little extra time on my hair and makeup. Still dressed only in a towel, I stand back and examine myself in the mirror, happy with the woman staring back. I've never felt so content in my entire life.

A curse sound comes from the bedroom, and I hurry into the room to see Conner, dressed only in his boxers, bend over, looking under the bed.

"Are you trying to turn me on?"

He snorts out a laugh. "I dropped my damn phone and it slid under the bed." He lays flat out and struggles a bit to reach it. "How far could it have gone?"

"Let me see." I walk around to the other side of the bed, lift up the bedding, and bend. "It's closer to me than you." I reach out and snatch his phone. "Got it." A little tag is sticking out from the mattress, and I'm about to tuck it back in, when his phone rings and I jump.

"Good God, that scared me."

He laughs as I glance at the screen. "It's your mom. Sorry, didn't mean to check." I hand the phone over and fix the bedding.

"You look amazing, by the way," he compliments me as he slides his finger across the phone. Deciding to play with him a bit, I give a little shake to my backside as I cross the room, open his closet and let the towel fall to the floor.

He groans, and I hear. "Yeah, yeah, I'm okay." I glance at him over my shoulder and chuckle slightly. He gives me a warning glare. I go back to dressing and pull out the dress I bought last week. It's a cute black number that hugs my curves. I knew this was the dress when Conner began to drool. Honestly, I can't believe he wanted to go shopping with me. I probably wouldn't be able to wear this and drive Conner crazy if I was pregnant, so I guess there's something positive about that.

He ends the call with his mother. "They're going to come for a bit."

I pull the dress on and turn to him. "I'm so glad." Lifting my hair, I point over my shoulder. "Zip me up."

"If I get anywhere near you in that dress, the only zipping I'll be doing is down."

I laugh. "Come on, Conner. I can't reach."

"Fine." He reluctantly stomps my way, his knuckles warm on my back as he works the zipper.

"I'm really glad they're coming out. I can't even imagine losing…" I let my words fall off. We all had a loss, and are all suffering in our own way.

His hands slide around my body, and he holds me in a tender way. "I don't ever want to lose you, Dani."

I turn in his arms, and there's worry and hurt in his eyes. "Hey, you're not going to lose me. We made that promise going into this, and it's a promise I stand by."

"Okay," he murmurs, like he's still not sure. Why wouldn't he be? Does he know something I don't? God, I'm just being paranoid, worried that this can be taken away from me quickly.

I go up on my toes and kiss him. "Now get ready. I want you in more than boxers when people start arriving." Inching back, I admire his body as he goes to his closet and pulls on a nice pair of dress pants and a button-down shirt. I continue to smile at him as he dresses, and he just grins at me.

Once we're both ready, we head downstairs, and start putting the hors d'oeuvres on trays and setting out glasses for wine and drinks. Soon enough the bell chimes, and we both hurry to the door, to let in Brighton and Noah.

"You look gorgeous," Brighton says and gives me a hug.

Conner frowns and holds his arms out. "Hey, what about me?"

Brighton rolls her eyes and hugs him. "Always so needy, Wood." I give Noah a hug and usher them both into the living room, where the cup is proudly displayed near the big fireplace.

Noah pats Conner on the back. "Looking good, Conner." He steps up to the cup. "No liquor in that."

"Nah, but I do have beer chilling in the kitchen." Conner throws his arm around Noah's shoulder and they head off. Brighton looks around. "I haven't been here since Conner bought the place. You're making it very homey, Dani."

I smile at my friend. "I've been adding some touches. I've actually been redecorating my own place."

She frowns, and runs her hands over one of the cushions I'd plumped earlier. "If you and Conner are trying to have a baby, are you going to keep both places?"

"I'm not sure what our plans are, but it does seem crazy to have two big places."

"Well, I'd choose this one with the pool," she jokes.

"Me too." Honestly, I do want to talk to Conner about that, but I'm not pregnant yet, so I haven't really pushed the idea and he's not talking about it, even though we're basically living together as it is. "Let's go get wine."

"Wine, yes."

We head toward the kitchen and the bell chimes again. For the next half hour, Conner and I greet his friends at the door, as well as our parents, and my sister and brother-in-law. Rylee grins like the cat that ate the canary every time she sees Conner and me together, especially when he's touching me. I don't hate it, but I don't know why she has that ‘I told you so' look on her face. She never told me anything. Or maybe she has.

I don't know or care. All I know is that I'm having a wonderful time celebrating the team's championship with great friends. This, right here, in this house with Conner, is where I belong. I've never really felt a sense of belonging in the house I shared with Alec. This is real and in my heart I know we have a future together.

I catch Gina chatting with Josie, and I don't miss the way Ash is watching her, his face hard as she basically ignores him. Ooh, there's definitely a story there and I want to hear it.

Excusing myself from Conner, I head toward Gina when the door chimes. I pause for a second. Isn't everyone here already? Who the heck did I forget? I walk toward the door and smile as I swing it open. My smile falters slightly when I come face to face with Summer.

"I'm so glad you guys could make it," I greet them. I turn to Knox, as he holds a bottle of wine out to me. "Thank you. Come in."

I guide them in and close the door. "Sorry we're late. Summer had a hard time getting away."

Summer looks almost mortified at that explanation, like Knox said something he shouldn't have. "We're here now. How about we get into that wine?" Summer says quickly, like she wants to change the subject.

"Knox," someone calls out from the living room and he glances at Summer. she gives a little nod, and it makes me think they had a little talk about her not being left alone with me. Knox obviously knows she and Conner have a history. "Get in here."

"You good?" he asks, making this a bit more awkward.

Summer smiles, but it's shaky as she gives Knox a tight nod. "Dani and I are going to get a drink."

He disappears into the room, joining the guys. Since she looks like she's desperate for alcohol to take her nervous edge off, I gesture with a nod for her to follow me to the kitchen.

"Not much has changed," she comments as she glances around, and her words are like a punch to the gut for some reason. Does she want me to remember her time with Conner, or is she nervous, like me, and searching for something to say?

Summer casts me a fast glance. "I…wasn't going to come. Knox really wanted me to."

My heart softens a bit. She's out of place, as out of place as I was when I first started hanging out with this crowd. No one deserves to feel that way, and if memory serves me right, it was Conner who stopped calling her, which led to the breakup.

"You and Knox…things are serious?"

She shrugs. "I'm not sure. I mean he's a nice guy. I really like him. I'm just…"

She lets her words fall off. Clearly something is holding her back, and I'm not going to push. Wait, she's not still in love with Conner, is she? I glance into the living room as we head down the hall, and my heart jumps when my gaze lands on Conner, who's watching Summer very carefully. Every muscle in his body is tight, everything about her presence is clearly distracting him. He'd been around her at the pool party and was fine. Maybe it's because she's back in his house. Maybe it's bringing up old memories. Good or bad memories, I'm not sure.

"You had a hard time getting away," I state, desperate for something to talk about.

"It's fine," she answers, her words fast and dismissive.

Alrighty then.

I find Melanie, Rylee and Emilia in the kitchen. Emilia, a former Olympic figure skater, is the team's assistant skating coach and she doesn't come out much. I'm grateful for their presence. I quickly introduce my sister and Emilia to Summer, and Rylee narrows her eyes as she pours herself a generous glass of wine, like she's trying to place Conner's ex-girlfriend. Rylee had informed me earlier she was going to pump and dump, because tonight she needed wine. I need wine too.

I grab an open bottle and fill two glasses. I hold mine up in salute and we all tap. "To the cup," I say and we all take a drink. "Shall we?"

We make our way back to the living room, just in time to hear Brady tell one of his ridiculous jokes, and as everyone laughs, I note the way Conner is staring again. Summer makes her way to the other side of the room and starts talking with Harper who has been chatting with Gabe—Gabe the Babe, as the bunnies call him—a rookie who came alone tonight. The guys call him Gabby, ironic for sure, considering he doesn't talk all that much. He also doesn't come out much, and he's super quiet. His gaze strays to Emilia, and if looks could kill, Gabe would be six feet under. From what I understand they go way back, childhood friends, I think. Conner told me she seems extra hard on Gabe, the team's right winger, during training.

"Wait, is that…"

I turn to look at my sister. Her eyes are wide as recognition hits. "Yeah, that's her."

"What is she doing here?"

"She's with Knox," I tell her. "The past is the past, and that's where it's going to stay."

She doesn't look as convinced as I am. I'm not sure I blame her, considering the way Conner is watching her. Before Rylee can say more, I hook my arm in hers.

"Help me bring the hors d'oeuvres in."

"Sure." We walk into the kitchen. "She has some nerve coming here."

I shrug. "In this world, the bunnies get around. The guys don't seem to have a problem sharing."

"I didn't think she was a bunny, though?"

"I don't know what she is or was." I open the fridge and pull out a tray of small sandwiches. I set them on the counter, and pull out a couple more trays filled with finger food. We gather them up, and make our way back to the party, but the second I walk into the room and spot Conner in the corner, in deep conversation with Summer, the trays in my hands wobble.

I have no idea what they're talking about, but judging from their body language it's something very serious. Was I wrong thinking those two were done, and that Conner and I had a future together?

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