2. Dani

2

Dani

P resent Day:

Here we are in game seven, three wins for the Bucks, three wins for the Panthers. But we're on home ice and the guys are feeding off the crowd tonight. The current score is two to one for the Bucks and the Panthers are on a power play with ten seconds left. I grab Brighton's hand as the Panthers pull their goalie, their center skating down the ice, ready to score on Brady. Conner, along with a couple other Bucks, are tight on his heels, but the guy they are chasing—Lazar—is fast and widening the lead.

"Ohmigod," Brighton cries out, as we hold our breath. Melanie might not be here tonight as that guy challenges her husband, Brady, but I know she's watching this all play out on TV and I'm sure she's on the edge of her seat, much like we are, even if she's home with their son Kayce.

"I can't look." I put one hand over my face, but peek through my fingers as Lazar takes the shot, only for Brady to stop it seconds before the buzzer goes off.

The packed arena goes wild, everyone jumping to their feet and screaming. The guys on the ice all start hugging each other, and I don't miss the way Conner glances up at me. Nervousness invades my stomach as our eyes meet. Tonight…well, tonight I am going to ask him for a favor. A big one. I've been building up to this for months and I told myself that if they won the cup tonight, they'd all be in a good mood, and it would be the perfect time to ask.

All the WAGs hug. Not that I'm a wife or girlfriend of any player, but I am best friends with Conner. We've been best friends since I moved into his neighborhood my freshman year. I almost blew that once in high school, though. I had a wicked crush on him and found the nerve to put it in writing—on a pretty sheet of pink paper. I left the letter on his bed one day. I waited for days for him to say something to me. God, those days were excruciating. When he never brought it up, I figured he wanted to stay in the friend zone, so that's where we stayed.

Thank God, it didn't ruin our friendship and while it would have been nice to have a conversation, that could have made things awkward. I guess in the end, he handled it correctly and it was shortly after that when his brother, the hottest senior in high school, started paying attention to me. Me—Miss Nobody. A girl who only sticks out in this crowd of women because I'm not hot like they are. Nope, I'm just plain Jane—a little too curvy—Danielle Birch. I never did go back to my maiden name after we lost Alec in that terrible car accident, the same day I lost my unborn baby.

But I can't think about that right now. After counselling, I've forced myself to move on, and moving on is exactly what I'm doing, and hopefully, my best friend Conner is going to help me with that.

Brighton grabs my hand. "Come on, let's go."

We all head to the ice as the cup is presented. Honestly, I'm not a WAG, and I don't feel like I should be on the ice, but I'm pretty sure Brighton wasn't having any of that. The families all gather around as the Conn Smythe award goes to Brady Fisher, and we all cheer. It's a whirlwind of activity as the guys take turns lifting the cup and skating it around the ice. It's so exciting, and I can't take my eyes off Conner when it's his turn.

Once the team takes the cup into the locker room, all the wives and girlfriends make their way outside, and win or lose, we've already rented out Kilting Around, a famous Scottish pub in town. Before I go, I wave to my in-laws, who are making their way off the ice. We'd hugged earlier before the game, but I can't leave without seeing them now.

"I'll meet you there. I have to go talk to Bill and Darcy." I hurry to them, and they pull me into their arms. Darcy has tears in her eyes and Bill does too, even though he's trying to hide them.

"Conner was amazing," I say as they squeeze me.

Darcy nods in agreement. "We are so proud of him." As she smiles a part of me tightens, because they were proud of Alec too, and were really looking forward to having a grandchild. I think they only had hope for the two of us, not really expecting Conner to settle down for a while, as he had a career to focus on. But I know Conner, and deep inside, he's always wanted a family. Now that he's settled in his career, I guess there's nothing holding him back, although he no longer talks about it. Nevertheless, I hope to someday give Darcy and Bill what they want.

"Are you guys coming to the pub to celebrate?"

Bill gives a dismissive wave. "My pub days are over, but you guys go and have fun."

"Okay, the girls are waiting. I'd better go."

"Barbecue soon," Darcy says and gives me another hug. I honestly love how close we still are. "Give Conner a hug and kiss for us."

Why would they want me to hug and kiss Conner? "You're going to see him soon, aren't you?"

She gives an almost sheepish smile. "Yes, of course." Okay, that was weird. "You'd better get going." I give a little wave and struggle through the crowd. Outside, the cool air falls over me and I zip up my coat, all the while trying not to get trampled by the rambunctious crowd, excited to party the night away.

Knowing the guys will be a while, a bunch of us made plans to meet them at the pub. Brighton finds me, and weaves her arm through mine as we head toward her big SUV. Yes, she's an SUV person now, with her two kids, and a big dog, and while others make fun of it, I am so damn envious.

All I ever wanted was to be a mother. My younger sister was the same. Dad was an attaché to the U.S. consulate, and we moved a lot. Our mom stayed home with us, and I loved that. Alec wanted a family too, which is why we got pregnant shortly after we married. My phone pings and ends my trip down memory lane. I pull it from my pocket to see that it's my sister.

I answer and she screams into the phone. I start laughing as I pull it away from my ear. I hear her husband Jared in the background. He's a good guy, a radiologist at Boston General, and honestly, my sister, with her three young kids, is living the life I've always wanted. I'm so happy for her and want the same, which is why I've been trying in-vitro. The only one who knows that secret is Conner. I haven't shared the details with anyone else. When I told him about my plans last year at Melanie's after exam celebration, he was shocked, and I'm not sure he ever warmed to the idea of me being a single mom, even though he knows how much I want kids.

"You're deafening me, Rylee."

"Sorry. I'm just so excited. Are you guys going out to celebrate?"

"We're heading to Kilting Around." I put my hand over my other ear to block the noise of the crowd. "You're welcome to join us."

"The kids are down and it's too late to get a sitter now. Besides, it's not like I can go too far when I'm breastfeeding and I can't even enjoy a drink." She sounds devastated, but I know she's not and I nod in agreement, once again a tinge of envy pinching my heart. "Why don't you guys come by tomorrow for a celebration dinner?" she suggests.

"I'll ask Conner and get back to you."

"Okay, go celebrate and give Conner a big hug and kiss from me."

Why does everyone want me to hug and kiss Conner?

"Hey," I hear Jared in the background. "You will not be extending hugs or kisses to Conner." He's trying to sound stern, but there's laughter in his voice. He and my sister are in love and he doesn't ever have to worry about her with another man. My stomach tightens at that thought. There was a time with Alec…

"Okay, give him a big hug and kiss from you," my sister laughs out.

"Cut it out. We're just friends." Conner will never see me as anything more than a friend, and I gave up on my crush on him years ago.

Did you, though, Dani?

"Have you never heard of friends with benefits?" I can just see the twist of Rylee's lips and the bob of her head as she says that to me.

"He's my brother-in-law," I counter, wanting to put an end to this conversation. But the truth is, if he agrees to what I'm going to ask him tonight, we'll be crossing a fine line, and I just hope it doesn't ruin what we have.

Brighton lets my arm go and waves to Josie. "Josie, over here." Josie comes rushing over, a big smile on her gorgeous face. She's a nurse, and sometimes when I look at these career women, I wonder how they look at me. Not that they've ever been anything but nice. It's just that they all have degrees and important jobs, whereas I run a doggy day care, and Josie's mastiff Apollo is one of the animals I pick up and drop off every day. A brain surgeon I am not.

"I have to go," I tell my sister.

"Just promise me you'll give him a hug and kiss."

"Goodbye, sis."

I laugh and end the call, and Josie arches a brow. "Everything okay?"

"Sisters," I groan with a laugh, and she watches me waiting for me to continue my explanation. "She was joking about me giving Conner a hug and a kiss." I expect her to laugh, but she doesn't. Instead, she nods, like that might actually be a good idea. "What?" I ask.

"It's not a bad idea." She pulls open the door to the back seat when we reach Brighton's big van with its three-row seating.

"What?" She can't be serious.

"That man needs to get out more. Have you noticed how grumpy he's been lately?"

"Pressure for the cup," I explain.

"Sure. Sure." She climbs into the vehicle and I follow her in. "Or maybe pressure is building up elsewhere."

I laugh. "Oh, Josie. I am so not his type."

"Yeah, maybe he doesn't like gorgeous, intelligent, supportive women."

Josie thinks I'm gorgeous, intelligent and supportive? I agree with the last one but not the first two.

She crinkles her nose. "I don't think he likes the bunnies anymore. I haven't seen him with any. I only ever see him with you."

My heart lurches. Oh, God, am I monopolizing all his time? Does he feel responsible for me after…Alec? I swallow hard, and the favor I was going to ask him begins to crumble before my eyes. I can almost feel it turn to dust in my hands. Conner needs to be getting out more, with a woman who isn't his best friend and sister-in-law. Have I been holding him back?

I buckle up as excitement fills the air and dread spreads in my stomach. Does Conner want to be hanging with the bunnies? If that's the case, I need a plan B for myself going forward.

Soon enough we all pile out of the SUV at Kilting Around, and there's a sign indicating it's closed for a private party, which is us. Inside, we fill the tables as more friends and family join the celebration. The place is loud and I'm grateful that it's helping drown out my darker thoughts. Drinks are poured and since I'm not pregnant, I grab a margarita and take a much-needed sip. Snacks fill the tables and I dig in, wanting to fill the hollow in my stomach.

A couple of hours later, cheers erupt in the pub as the guys begin to pour in, and I lift my gaze to find Conner seeking me out. Guilt takes a big bite out of my tongue as I swallow the words that have been dancing on the tip of it for a long time. I can't ask Conner for any kind of favor, especially if he's put his life on hold because he feels an obligation to me.

His blue eyes, eyes the same color as his brother's, light up when they find me and everything in the way he's currently looking at me makes me think I have it all wrong. I'm not a burden or obligation. I'm someone he wants to be around. Although I have no idea why he'd choose to spend time with me, when there's a horde of bunnies here all vying for his attention.

He steps up to me and throws his arms out. I jump from my chair and he wraps his arms around me and spins me in a circle.

"I'm so proud of you," I tell him and he sets me down. His head dips and for the briefest of seconds, when his gaze lands on my lips, I think he's going to kiss me. I wet my lips and he cocks his head, like he's trying to get a read on my actions. My heart races, and when his lips connect with my forehead, I pull myself together. What the hell was I thinking? I don't know, but I hope he wasn't thinking that I wanted a kiss.

He reaches across the table and grabs a mozzarella stick. "I'm starved."

"Give me that." Brady snatches it from his hand and takes a big bite.

Conner playfully shoves him. "Hey."

"Okay, children, there are enough mozzarella sticks for everyone." Noah snatches one off the plate and holds it out to Conner. Conner reaches for it, and before he can get it, Noah takes a bite.

Conner shoves Noah and grumbles, "Fucker."

I laugh, take a mozzarella stick and put it in front of Conner's mouth. He stares at his friends and gloats as he takes a bite and mumbles, "At least someone loves me."

Jesse slaps Conner's back. "Aw, we love you too, dude."

Conner puts his hand on the small of my back, and guides me to my chair. It's a small gesture, one he's done often. It just feels different tonight. I don't know why. Maybe it's because my mind has been on sex lately—with the purpose of having a child, of course—but his touch does something ridiculously crazy to the neglected spot between my legs. I flinch, because everything about that feels wrong. Okay, well no, it feels right, which is why it's wrong. Does that even make sense?

He eyes me, and I avert my gaze and sit. The truth is, I haven't been with another man since Alec. Uh, yeah, and also he was my first. Like I said, I'm your average plain Jane, and not a woman who garners attention when walking down the street, or in a pub full of beautiful women.

The guys pull up chairs and sit next to us, and soon enough, the conversation returns to the win and the volume in the place rises to new heights. I'm okay with that. It makes my unease and quietness tonight less noticeable. I take a sip of my drink and note the way Conner is watching me. I plaster on a smile, which only makes his eyes narrow more.

Jesse says something funny and calls out to Conner. With his attention diverted, I turn to Josie and talk about the book we're reading for next week's book club. A few women come up to the table and put their hands all over the guys, even the married ones. The women at the table are confident in themselves and their men, so no scene is caused. The men are quick to shut down the unwanted advances, Conner included. It does, however, remind me he's a young single guy who should be out having fun.

"If you'll excuse me." I stand a little too quickly. Conner grabs my chair before it tumbles backward. I laugh awkwardly. "I don't know my own strength."

"You're strong from all those dogs you wrestle," Jesse points out. "When I take Apollo for a walk, he walks me, yet you have no troubles at all."

That's me. Plain. Curvy. Strong. All the traits a guy goes for. I glance at Conner. "I'll be right back."

He nods, and I get the sense he can tell I'm off tonight. I make a trip down the hall to the washroom, and stand before the mirror, fixing my hair and then washing my hands. I lean in and pinch my cheeks to add a bit of color, and when a few girls come in, showcasing gorgeous bodies in very little clothes, they smile at me and I smile back as I leave. I head back down the hall, and when I reach the bar, I wave to the bartender, asking for a big glass of water.

As I stand there, waiting for his attention, a big body presses against me, pinning me between the oak countertop and a wall of muscles. I don't need to turn to know it's Conner. His warm soapy scent, the same scent he's been using since we were kids, wraps around me.

He puts his mouth to my ear. "Hey, are you okay?"

I spin to face him and he inches back slightly. I gaze into his eyes, and everything about him messes with my body—which is wrong, dammit. Sure, I was going to ask him for a big favor but I was planning on keeping it all clinical.

My inner voice breaks out in hysterical laughter, and I shut it down. Yeah, I must be crazy to think I could have sex with this man and stay detached.

I smile and gesture with a nod. "Someone is trying to get your attention."

He glances over his shoulder, and eyes the pretty blonde. "Yeah." He turns back to me. "What's going on with you tonight, Dani?"

Just then the bartender slides a glass of water my way. His eyes go wide. "Wait…"

"No," I answer quickly, and glance at the blonde again. I'm about to tell him nothing is going on, and that he should go off and have some fun, but as I try to formulate the words, to arrange them into a coherent sentence, I find myself blurting out, "I want to have a baby." His head rears back and his eyes narrow.

"I know."

"In-vitro hasn't worked," I rush out quickly, even though there's a part of my brain trying to stop me from making a huge mistake. "And, I was…uh, wondering if maybe you could help a girl out."