1. Conner

1

Conner

T wo Years Ago:

Body tired, and head hurting from a hangover, I roll over in bed and glare at my buzzing phone. Whoever is calling can fuck right off. I'm not only hurting from drinking too much last night, but we just lost the Eastern Conference playoffs against Pittsburgh in the seventh game, and anyone who knows me knows better than to be calling today.

"Fuck off." I grumble and roll over, closing my eyes when my damn phone finally stops buzzing. Just when I'm about to doze off, my phone starts screaming at me all over again. "Shit." I reach out and grab my phone. When I see that it's my brother, I slide my finger across the screen, and grunt out, "This better be important."

"Hey, sorry about the playoffs." There's sincerity in his voice, but there's something else there as well, something that has me forgetting all about my hangover and sitting up in bed.

"Yeah, is that why you called?"

"No, uh…" A giggle sounds in the background, and when I hear my brother's muffled words, I realize he's covering the phone. Whatever is going on, he doesn't want me to hear, and I'm not sure I want to either, because I know he's on a work trip, away from home—away from his wife. The hairs on the back of my neck lift and I sit up straighter, checking the time as my heart jumps into my throat. "What's going on?" I ask, even though I'm not certain I want an answer.

"Listen…" His voice is clear again. "I need you to do me a favor."

Unease grips my stomach. "What kind of favor?"

"I was supposed to be home today, but I got tied up in New York."

Tied up?

More giggles sound, and my brain starts racing. My brother, who I adore and respect more than any other human on this planet, is a hockey scout for Harvard, and travels to numerous high schools across the country. If he's tied up in New York, it had better not be with some girl.

"Alec?"

"Yeah, listen." He clears his throat. Probably to cover up the rustling noises in the background, and I don't even want to think about what or who is making them. "Dani has an ultrasound appointment today. I was supposed to take her, but I can't make it. I called and she's not feeling so great. Would you mind taking her for me?"

"Who are you with?" I growl, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try to clear the fog from my brain.

He snorts out a laugh, but I know him well enough to realize it's his way of stalling. "It's nothing."

I resist the urge to blurt out—how the fuck can it be nothing? My brother is married to the most amazing woman on the planet, and she's pregnant with his child. I must be wrong. I must be hearing things. Yeah, the alcohol and partying must be messing with my brain. "Alec. What the fuck, man? What's happening?"

"Come on, bro. It's nothing. Just cleaning the pipes." More giggling bubbles through the phone. "You know Dani hasn't been feeling well lately, right?"

Really, that's his fucking justification for cheating? Anger, rage, and every other hostile emotion—that I've never felt toward my brother in my life—wells up inside me.

"No way, Alec. You're telling me your wife hasn't been putting out because she's pregnant and not well, and this is how you treat her?" How could he do this? This is the man who always stood up for me when I was a kid. He was protective and caring and beat the crap out of the other kids when they made fun of me because I couldn't read.

Conner Birch, thick as wood, dumb as a stump. Oh yeah, that's how they taunted me as they knocked on their heads like their heads were made of hardwood. If Alec is a protector by nature, as I've always known him to be, why isn't he protecting Dani when she needs it most? Fuck, if she were my wife, I'd run barefoot over glass if she needed me to.

"Just do me this one favor, bro." His voice is a little more labored, breathless, and my stomach turns, not wanting to think about why. "I'll be home tomorrow."

My head pounds harder as my blood runs cold. "You should stop what you're doing and come home now." I glance around my room as my vision clears—in more ways than one. Sure, I've had my head down and my blades on the ice, focused solely on my career for a while now, but how did I not see this coming? Maybe I could have done something, said something to him to stop this from happening.

"Will you do this for me or not?"

There's a hardness tinging his voice now, and while it's a simple question, I realize it's also a loaded one. Panic grips my stomach. Jesus. I'm now responsible for keeping his secret. I swallow the bile pushing into my throat.

"Jesus, bro. How old is she?"

"Old enough. I'm not an idiot."

While that is debatable, I shake my head and kick off my blankets. "What time is the appointment?" I'm supposed to meet up with Summer, the girl I've been seeing for the last six months, later this afternoon. She's a sophomore at Boston College and we met after a game one night. She's not a bunny, although she is a bit younger than me, and has a thing for llamas. Like a real weird thing for llamas. She has blankets, stuffed toys, and mugs with llamas on them. Hell, she even has llamas on her panties. Maybe I'll get to see that up close and personal later.

No wait, she messaged last night and said she couldn't make it—which, with nothing on the agenda today, is probably why I stayed out too late and drank too much last night. I hope her grandmother is doing okay. Summer said she hasn't been well and she's been staying with her. She even missed the game last night, but said she caught it on TV.

"Two. Can you take her?"

Jesus, that's in half an hour. Way to leave it to the last minute. "Yeah, I'll be there, for her ."

Clearly picking up on my anger, he shoots back, "Bro, come on. Put yourself in my shoes."

"Oh, I am." Honestly my brother had shoes I knew I could never fill, and this…this fucking hurts. My idolization of him, for all he's done for me, is now battling with his infidelity…or infidelities. The less I know, the better.

"You can't tell me you wouldn't do the same," he shoots back.

"Pretty sure I can, bro." With that, I end the call and toss the phone to the foot of my bed like it's about to give me the plague. I exhale loudly, and wince as I turn toward my window, the bright afternoon sun hurting my eyes.

My phone pings, and thinking it might be Dani, I grab it only to read the text from my brother.

Alec: Thanks. I owe you.

It's not me he owes. No, it's Dani he owes and what he owes her is a big fucking apology, followed by months of groveling for forgiveness. Instead of answering, I focus on what needs to be done, and shoot off a message to Dani—all the while hating myself for even knowing my brother's secret.

Me: Hey, heard from Alec. He asked me to take you to your appointment. How are you feeling?

Dani: Probably better than you.

I chuckle. She knows me well. I know her well too. She was my friend in high school before my brother ever showed her any attention. She moved into our Boston neighborhood when she was a sophomore, like me. Alec was a senior, who had girls falling all over him. Why wouldn't he? He was the smartest guy I knew, going places, and doing things. Okay, maybe there was a tiny part of me that was envious at how easy schoolwork came to him, when I struggled so horribly. Even though I eventually got help with my dyslexia, I still have troubles, and I keep that part of my life hidden.

Me: I'm okay. I can take you.

Dani: I'm a big girl. I can go by myself. Don't worry about it. You probably want to commiserate with Summer today.

Me: She's with her grandmother and I need the distraction. Trust me.

Dani: Fine then, dinner is on me.

Me: You're not cooking dinner when you're not feeling well.

Dani: I have homemade lasagna in the freezer.

Me: If you insist.

Dani:

Me: See you shortly.

Dani: Merci.

I laugh at her use of French. She'd taken some courses at the local college. I'm not sure what her fascination with French is. Maybe it's because she moved around a lot as a kid, her folks even did a stint in Montreal, Canada. Or maybe she wants to go to Paris someday.

I stumble to my shower, wash quickly and before I dress, I swallow down a few pain meds. Fuck, I am never drinking again—said every guy the morning after he drank too much. I tug on a pair of clean jeans, and grab a T-shirt from my drawer. I pull it on as I hurry down my stairs and go straight for the coffee machine. I fill my travel mug and head outside.

Ten minutes later, I'm at my brother's house, and Dani is on her steps. She's smiling but it doesn't reach her eyes. Fuck, she looks like she's in pain. Does she know? She starts toward me, her steps slow, like it might hurt to walk.

Guilt clogs my throat as I jump from the car, circle the front and open her door. I take her heavy bag from her, and she slides into the car. I weigh the bag in my hand. "What do you have in here anyway?"

"A pregnant girl needs her things, Conner." Holding her stomach, she smiles again, but it's easy to tell she's hurting. I don't close her door. Instead, I kneel. "What is it?" Her chin quivers and I lose all ability to breathe as she looks away. "Dani?"

"I had spotting this morning, and bad cramping."

I lean in and put my arms around her and she grips my forearm, like it's her lifeline. Anger that my brother isn't here for her rages inside me. "It's okay. Everything is going to be okay." I know how much she wants this child so it has to be okay. Nothing can be wrong. She's a good person who does good things. She picks up dogs on her bus and runs a doggy day care, even staying late when the owners get stuck in traffic. The world can't let a woman like that down, right?

Maybe not, but my brother sure as fuck has.

She sniffs and laughs. "I'm sorry. I'm just so hormonal lately. Yesterday I ran out of Clarence's diet cookies on the bus and when he looked at me with those big, sad brown eyes, I broke out crying."

I smooth her hair back. "Clarence is smart and knows how to play you. You know that, right? I bet you gave him two when you got him to your daycare." I try to make light of it, wanting nothing but her happiness and when she laughs again and nods in agreement, I exhale.

"Yeah, I did."

I blink rapidly, pout and point to my face. "This, right here, is going to get me two slices of lasagna tonight, isn't it?"

She laughs again. "I'm such a pushover."

"Nah, you're just sweet, Dani."

She gives me a warm, grateful smile as she puts one hand on my face. "Thanks, Conner."

I lean into her hand, absorbing her warmth and as it wraps around my heart, I jerk back and stand, severing the intimate connection.

She's not yours, dude.

"Okay, let's get you to your appointment, and get you checked out."

I close her door, and sense her eyes on me as I circle the front of the car and slide back into the driver's seat. As I back out of her driveway, she asks, "Did you talk to Alec, or did he text?"

"Both, actually."

I avoid looking at her, and concentrate on the road. "He got tied up," she states.

"Yeah."

I glance at her hands as she links them, squeezing tight. Fuck. I drive to the downtown core, hurrying to reach the hospital, and squeeze my vehicle between two big trucks. I steal a glance at Dani, who is trying to appear calm, but her nervous energy is palpable.

I kill the ignition and reach for the door handle. Her hand lands on mine. "You don't have to come in. You can go grab a coffee or something." She glances around. "There's plenty of coffee shops around here."

The worry in her eyes speaks volumes. "Didn't you know?" I nod toward the hospital. "The coffee machines in these places have the best brew in the world."

She grins and nudges me. "Always motivated by the finer things in life, Conner."

As I take in her grin, I can't help but think she's one of the finer things in life. I've always known it. I thought my brother did too.

Her eyes narrow. "Are you okay?"

I put on a fast smile. "Yup, let's go." I hop from the car and when she closes her door, I hit the fob to lock it. I walk over to her and casually throw my arm over her shoulder. She weaves her fingers through mine, and we head inside the hospital. She registers and we take the elevator up to the fifth floor. She takes a seat and points to a spot down the hall. "Machine is down there."

I'm a bit reluctant to leave her, and I'm not exactly sure what my role is here. "You…uh…want me to come in with you?"

"No, that's okay."

I nod and saunter down the hall just as her name is called. I glance back over my shoulder to watch her walk away with a nurse. I grab a crappy coffee and take a seat in the waiting room, tugging my hat low, because one, I look and feel like shit, and two, I don't want anyone to recognize me. I normally love the fans. Right now, however, I'm too wound up to carry on any kind of conversation.

I finish my coffee, and toss it into a nearby trash can when the same nurse who'd taken Dani to her room appears, the lines on her forehead deep as she seeks me out.

"You're Conner?" she asks.

The coffee turns in my stomach. "Is Dani okay?"

"She wants to see you." Before I can even ask what's going on, the nurse is on the move and I hurry my steps to keep pace. I struggle to keep the panic down, because my gut is telling me something very bad is happening.

As my blood drains to my feet, I force my heavy legs to work quickly, and the second I enter the room, and see Dani on the bed, her face as white as the sheet she's laying on, a tortured sound crawls out of my throat. She reaches for me, and I hurry to her, taking her cold hand in mine. Tears fall down her cheeks.

"Alec…can you call him?" she manages to get out between sobs. "I need him."

I nod, and stumble into the hallway, pulling my phone from my pocket. Through blurry eyes, I punch in his number, and when he answers, sounding happy, relaxed…sated…rage grips my throat and pushes cruel words from my lungs. "You get your fucking ass home right now, or you're dead to me."

Little did I know that those words, spoken in the heat of the moment, were going to come true. If I had known, I never would have spoken them.