17. Dani

17

Dani

I t's been two weeks since Conner found all his missing things in a box in my closet. He's been rather quiet, confused by his brother's actions, and I have to say I am too. I always felt that Alec might harbor some jealousy, but then I would dismiss it as quickly as the thought would hit. What did he have to be jealous of? He was brilliant, the class valedictorian, popular, and had landed a great job at Harvard.

But he wasn't Conner.

Did he take those things to hurt his brother? I actually can't wrap my brain around that. When Conner was younger, Alec was always there for him. Conner adored his older brother, looked up to him. Conner told me that numerous times and never once did I hear Conner say a bad word about Alec, or vice versa. But the box…the things Conner treasured most over the years, things that he thought he'd misplaced and lost. Well, they weren't misplaced or lost at all. They were taken by Alec, and now both Conner and I are quietly, in our own heads, trying to figure out why.

I glance at the camera in the dog's playroom. I smile, not that I think Conner is watching me. He's been so quiet lately, focusing on helping me fix the house, and every time I look at him, and see the pain and confusion on his face it hurts my heart. He could barely concentrate during French lessons the other night and he loves helping at the hockey camps, but when he was getting ready to leave this morning, he didn't seem all that excited about it.

I know finding his things was odd and hurtful and confusing, but a part of me wonders if something more is going on inside his head. I don't know what, but what I do know is that tonight, I'll be taking another pregnancy test, and if it's positive, hopefully that will give him something else to concentrate on.

Tomorrow is Saturday and we're going to my parents' place for a meal, and we're going to have to tell them we're dating. Sunday his parents' are coming over. I'm a bit nervous about what they'll all think. My folks love Conner, for sure, but are they going to think this is a mistake? What about if we actually get pregnant? I know they want more grandkids, and they know I want a child of my own, but how will they react when they find out it's Conner's baby, and then we have to part ways and co-parent? How the heck are Conner's parents going to feel when we tell them on Sunday?

I take a fast breath and stop my chaotic racing thoughts. Right now, with a lot going on with Conner, I'm just going to take things one day at a time. I check the time and when Marley walks in, the dogs all run to her. She gives them love and those that are staying overnight are brought into another room while I get the others packed on the bus, for their trip home.

Most of them are tired after a long day of play as we lead them outside to the bus, but once they're on, and know they're going home to see their owners, they perk up. I wave to Marley and glance in the rearview mirror to spot Stallone trying to bite Ivy's ear in the seat in front of him.

"Stallone, mind your business, or no treats for you."

He barks and turns away to look out the window and I just laugh. Since it's Friday, I take a different route home so I can go through the drive-thru and get them pup cups. It's always a fun adventure and I usually get more on me than they get in their mouths, but I love it.

Howls start in the back when I take the turn, because they know where they're going. I reach the drive-thru and pull up to the window and Tabitha is waiting with a cardboard tray full of cups filled with whipped cream. They're free, but I always leave a big tip since I'm ordering so many. I pull the bus over, and one by one, give the dogs their treat, laughing as they slurp and soak me. Buster is the worst, though.

Once done, we make our way home, and I drop the dogs off with their owners. I'm anxious to get home to Conner. Tonight, we're painting the main bedroom, and if the pregnancy test is negative, I'm helping. I'm not incapable, and I'm excited to get a new color on the walls.

I don't know why but I feel a measure of relief when I find Conner's car in my driveway. I park the bus and climb out, wiping some drool off my sleeve. The front door opens and when I find Conner waiting for me, a sense of home and hearth wrap around my heart. I never felt that way with Alec. Not that he ever waited at home and opened the door for me.

"Hey," I murmur when I reach him and he bends to kiss me, greeting me without words. I inch back and take in the warmth in his eyes. "How was skating camp?"

He smiles. "It was actually really fun."

That warms my heart. "I ordered a pizza, and picked up wine. Alcoholic and non-alcoholic."

I put my hand on his cheek and kiss him again. "Are you ready?"

I nod. "I'd like to shower the slobber off me first if that's okay."

"Yeah, it's okay and I'd like to help if you don't mind." He grins. "I can't promise I won't slobber all over you though."

I laugh at that and take his hand. "Come on." We both head upstairs and this time I guide him into my bedroom. It was nice of Ash to come and help him set up the bed. "You know what?" He follows me into the ensuite bathroom.

"What?"

"I just realized something." I reach into the shower and turn it on, as he starts taking his clothes off.

"Ash never made it to the party at the pool when it was Noah's turn with the cup." I tug off my shirt and drop it on the floor. Conner's eyes go to my bra as I reach around my back and unhook it. I almost laugh at how easy it is to be naked around him, how we're so damn comfortable with each other we can have a conversation as we strip. Oddly enough, Alec never wanted the lights on during sex, and we never got naked in front of each other. He might have been my first lover, and I was na?ve and innocent, but something told me that wasn't the norm.

"Maybe it took longer for him to fix Gina's fridge than I thought." He kicks off his pants and boxers and is already sporting a beautiful erection. "Shit, I feel bad about that. He was looking forward to the celebration."

"You haven't talked to him since that day?" I undo the button on my pants.

"No, been kind of busy."

"Have I been keeping you from your friends?" I swallow, remembering that conversation with the girls from long ago. I know he assured me he'd rather hang with me. There was nothing about him to suggest he was being dishonest. I know that. It's just, if nothing can ever develop between us, and I'm not sure it can, he really should be out there finding someone. I know I want him but if he doesn't want me, I don't want to hold him back.

"There's nowhere else I'd rather be." He steps into me, slides his hands down my back and cups my ass.

"Oh, so you're here for the sex," I tease, loving that his mood has shifted to a playful one. I hate seeing him upset or unhappy, and honestly, we'll probably never know why his brother did what he did.

He answers with, "Let me help you with your pants."

He drops to his knees, and I admire his naked body as he unzips my pants and tugs them to my ankles. I hold his shoulders as I take turns lifting my legs, and once I'm completely naked, we step into the shower.

He pumps soap into his hands, his mouth on mine as he begins to wash me. He does my back and, tired after a long week, I just stand there and let him. Like me, he falls silent and after he washes me, he turns me to face him. I open my eyes and scan his troubled face.

"Maybe he was going to do something with them. Like…I don't know. Remember when Gunther had that cod fish mounted for Brady and Melanie?"

At first, I'm completely confused. I'm about to ask what he's talking about when I clue in that he's referring to all the things his brother took. He's putting a positive spin on it, thinking with his heart, and maybe it's the only thing he can do. The alternative, that his brother wanted to hurt him, might be too much for him to bear.

"I think you could be right. Maybe he was going to make a Conner room, and display all your stuff."

A strange noise, a half laugh sort of, catches in his throat. "A shrine to his baby brother."

"Yeah, a shrine," I agree.

A long moment of silence as he washes my shoulders and arms. There's a deep concentration about him as he continues to lather me, and I'm almost afraid to ask what he's really thinking.

"I'm not sure I knew who he was," he says, the sadness in his voice slicing through my heart like a serrated blade.

"Conner," I whisper, and put my arms on his shoulders. "He was your brother. You loved him and he loved you. You had a bond. He watched out for you. Protected you."

He frowns. "Yeah." A beat of silence and then, "You don't think he did it to hurt me in some way? If you look at it logically, without emotions, it seems like that's the only answer."

"There are more boxes," I tell him. "Maybe you can find the answers you're looking for in one of them." Or maybe he should leave well enough alone and not go searching for the truth.

His hands fall from my body and I see the fear and worry in his face. "I might do that."

"In the meantime, I think I need to put my hands on your body."

He moans and throws his head back as soon as my fingers touch his chest. My moan mingles with his, and I touch him longingly, lovingly. Yes, I love this man. I have loved him for a very long time now and my heart aches with the truth that he's never loved me back. I let my hands go lower until I'm gripping his beautiful cock and he cups my face, stares into my eyes as I stroke him. "I've been thinking about this all day," I whisper.

"What I'm hearing is you're in this for the sex too," he murmurs, as he slides his hands around my body and turns me until I'm facing the wall. More shower sex. I resist the urge to scream hallelujah. He spreads me, and a second later, his cock is inside me, stretching me as it hits all the right spots.

"Conner, yes." I claw at the wall, as he holds my hips and moves in and out of my body. My brain shuts down and I hope his does too. I want nothing more than peace for this man after his awful discovery.

He grunts and bends over me, kissing my back. "You feel so good, babe." It takes only seconds and I'm clenching around him, my orgasm fast and powerful. "Fuck."

I chuckle as he curses, my liquid heat no doubt bringing on his climax. He grunts again, drives deep and stays inside me, filling me with his hot seed. He pulls me upright and holds me against his body, his hands on my stomach, holding me with tender care.

Backing us both up, he takes us under the spray and rinses off our sated bodies. Once we're cleaned, he turns off the water, and spins me. "Ready?"

I playfully glance at his flaccid cock. "As if…"

He laughs. "For the test."

My heart jumps with excitement and nervousness. "I am."

We step from the shower and he hands me a fluffy towel. "I'll go heat the pizza. Come down when you're ready."

"Would it be weird if I asked you to stay?"

"I've been inside you a million times, Dani. Nothing is weird after that."

"Peeing on a stick might be."

He grabs the test from the drawer, opens it up and hands it to me, and my heart fills with everything I feel for this man. "Pee."

I nod and take the stick and he pulls his phone from his pocket to set the timer. I sit and pee on the stick and set it on the wrapper on the sink. I clean myself up, and sink to the floor to wait. Conner slides in next to me and takes my hand. I turn to look at him as hope wells up inside me.

"Tomorrow we're telling my folks that we're just dating, but if that test is positive, we might be elaborating on that," I say as I glance at the stick. He smiles, brings my hand to my mouth and kisses it. With that we both go quiet, lost in thought, and his gaze darts to mine when his timer goes off.

I take a deep breath, stand, and pick up the stick.