15. Dani

15

Dani

I t's just after lunch time as I toss a ball for Buster, and okay, even though I'm not supposed to have favorites, I'm super fond of the big St. Bernard. As I walk around the big playroom at the Airbnb, Buster runs for the ball. The second he's gone, Chester, a small King Charles Cavalier spaniel comes rushing over for a rub.

I smile happily as I play with all the dogs. It's been busy as we pick up more pups in the summer with people going on vacation. Honestly, I can hardly believe how quickly the days are passing. Time has been flying by. I guess that old saying is true: time flies when you're having fun. Conner and I have been having fun, and now that school is out, he's gearing up for his hockey camps at the rink.

We've been having sex like randy bunnies—when I'm ovulating and even when I'm not. Conner has been keeping fit by running, and exercising, and I've been busy with the dogs, and buying new furniture and renovating.

He likes to help when he can, and I always enjoy when he comes along with me. I honestly have never been happier, which scares me. I'm not superstitious like Conner, but sometimes I do believe when things are too good to be true, they are. I know how fast you can lose everything. I'm not sure I could ever go down that road again. Soon enough we'll be taking another pregnancy test, and while I want a child, I'm very conflicted, because I don't want things to end.

My phone pings and I pull it from my back pocket and grin when I see the message from Conner. Did he sense me thinking about him?

Conner: I see you.

I laugh and glance up at the camera.

Me: Creeper.

Conner: Haha. Are we still taking Buster to the nursing home?

I walk over to the camera, and adjust it. Being a tease, because it's fun, I toy with the top button on my blouse. Anyone else watching wouldn't take what I'm doing as sexual, and in fact it looks like I might be checking out the camera to make sure it's working.

Conner: Oh la la.

I laugh out loud at his French. He's been taking lessons with me one night a week these last couple of weeks, but he still has a long way to go. I'm happy he's trying, though, and it would be fun to teach our child a new language if I ever get pregnant. I'm actually starting to worry about it. After losing a baby, and failed in-vitro, I didn't expect it to happen overnight, but I've been through a couple of cycles already and nothing. I do believe in nature knowing what's right and maybe, unlike with Alec, this isn't meant to be. That's kind of strange when you think about it. I loved Alec, but was never in love with him like I am with Conner.

Me: Like what you see?

Over the past month, I've gotten even more comfortable with my body. The way Conner worships me, touches me…I sigh. It fills me with confidence. Heck, I feel so good about myself, I could probably join one of those dating sites. Not that I want to. The truth is, I don't want what I'm doing with Conner ever to end.

Conner: Want to see more of it. (Peach emoji)

Me: (eggplant emoji)

I smile into the camera, and really wish I could see his reaction.

Conner: I'll be by shortly.

Me: See you soon.

I turn from the camera, and walk over to the sink to refill the bowls. Jessica comes in for her shift, and the dogs run to her. I grin as she greets them. I really hired good staff and I'm very fortunate to have this place. Conner was right. What I do is important.

"Hey Jess," I say, and wash my hands. "I'm heading out with Buster."

"Oh, Buster. You are such a good boy." She gives him lots of love and he soaks it up. It's no wonder he's a great therapy dog. Someday, I'd like to have a therapy dog too.

I head to the lunchroom and grab my bag and keys, and leash Buster up. He prances out the front door with me, and I wave to the front staff, who all get a kick out of the way this big male dog prances like he's a prince or something. I guess he knows his value.

I take him to the fenced-in grassy area as we wait for Conner, and when he arrives, he climbs from the car with a big coffee in his hand. He walks up to me, kisses me like we're long-time lovers, and hands me the coffee.

"You're too sweet." He really is the most thoughtful man I know and later, when I finally do talk to him about something that's been on my mind for a while now, I hope he doesn't get upset with me.

"I know what my girl needs," he says with a grin, and I walk Buster over to the bus. We all climb on, and I take a big sip of my coffee before starting the engine.

"How was your morning?" I ask, and set my cup into the holder. I start the bus and glance at him sitting in Trixie's seat. Buster, who's so incredibly smart, takes his seat and before I back out of the parking lot, I toss him a biscuit.

"Got a run in, talked to the guys about our drills for hockey camp, and flipped through that book on your nightstand."

My mouth drops open. "You did not."

He grins. "I'm pretty sure some of the things I read in that book aren't possible. No one is that twisty, Dani."

I laugh at his use of the word twisty. "You have to suspend reality." I glance into the side mirrors and back from my spot.

"I can only suspend it so much. I think those things should be tested before going into a book."

I laugh out loud. "Oh, I get it. You want to try out some of the positions."

"I mean, for research, right. Did you once say you wanted to write a book? If you do, you need the facts right."

"I never once said I wanted to write a book." Now I'm laughing so hard at the sheepish look on his face, tears are welling up in my eyes.

"Damn, I was pretty sure you said that."

I reach into the doggy bowl, pick up a biscuit and toss it at him. It hits him in the forehead and he feigns hurt. Buster barks, and Conner picks up the treat and tosses it to him. "That's going to leave a bruise."

"I'll write that into my book."

His phone pings, and he's chuckling as he pulls it from his pocket. He reads through a message and I concentrate on the road as I drive. He texts back before shoving his phone into his back pocket, not bothering to tell me who he was messaging with and it's not really my business.

"Oh, I meant to tell you. My new bed, table and chairs and sofa are coming tonight." I flick on my signal. "I wanted to repaint before everything arrived but time has somehow gotten away from me."

He nods, and looks out the side window, like he has something on his mind. When he glances back at me, that melancholy look is gone, and he says, "We can pick out paint after the nursing home. I can work on it when I'm not at hockey camp."

"You don't have to do that."

He shrugs. "I don't mind."

"I really think new paint and furniture will really help spruce the place up." What I'm trying to say is I think it will help Conner feel more comfortable in my place, sleeping in the main bedroom with me when we're at my place. My stomach cramps, because what am I even thinking? We're sleeping at his place now, and he's already started baby proofing it. If and when I have a baby, I'll be moving home and when he comes over, he won't be sleeping in my bed.

Buster starts barking when we go over the speed bump. "I think he knows where he's going."

"He does. He loves it here and I love taking him."

I park the bus, and clap my hands. "Ready, boy?"

He jumps from his seat and comes barreling toward me. It's crazy how big and goofy he can be, but the minute I put the vest on him, he goes into gentle mode. He kind of reminds me of Conner on ice and in bed. Will our child grow up to be athletic like him, or more of a couch potato like me?

I fit him with his vest, and we exit the bus. Buster begins sniffing around, anxious to get inside to see his friends.

"Beware of Marta the receptionist," I tease and Conner gives me a curious look. "She's a man eater."

Conner steps ahead and pulls open the door and we stop at the receptionist desk. Marta, the elderly lady who has been working here as long as I've been coming, squeals and comes hurrying around the corner, bending to pat Buster, who takes it all in stride.

"You're such a good boy," she says and pulls a treat from her pocket. She always has one ready on visit day. She waves toward the hall. "You can head on into the lounge." Her head lifts and her cloudy eyes go wide when they land on Conner. "I didn't realize you'd be bringing a friend." She gives him a once over…twice. "I'll have to register him. Do you want to step up to the counter and give me your name and number."

"Number?" I blurt out with a laugh. "Really, Marta, can you be any more obvious?" I tease. From the rumor mill inside the nursing home, Marta dates a different man every weekend, as she should. Get it, girl.

Marta blushes and waves me away. "Oh you."

"Marta, my love." Conner begins, his voice playful as he puts his hand over his heart. "As much as I'd like to wine and dine you, you're way out of my league."

She laughs, her eyes bright and shiny, loving the attention from the famous hockey player. She waves us off. "Go. I know who you are, but feel free to stop by later and give me your number."

He puts his arm around me. "I think my girl here would be jealous."

Marta's smile widens and she gets a devilish look in her eyes. "Mmm, mmm. Good for you, girlfriend."

We all laugh at that, and Conner asks, "On that note, where's the lounge?"

I give him a nudge. "This way."

As Marta watches us walk away, her eyes no doubt peeled to Conner's perfect backside, he shakes his head at me. "You could have warned me."

"I thought I did." He laughs. "She's something, huh?"

"Yeah, I like her."

"Well, she did say you could drop her your number."

"I still might," he teases and lifts his chin an inch.

"Yeah, well good luck with that."

He throws his arm around me again and pulls me against his body and I really love when he does that. Buster walks gently, even though he's excited to get into the lounge to see all his beloved elderly friends.

We reach the door, and step in, and when Mrs. Fraser sees Buster and holds open her arms, we walk over. "Buster, my buddy. I've been waiting for you all day." Buster, being the best boy, lays his head on her lap, and she pets him. "Is he allowed a treat?" she asks.

"Of course."

I glance at Conner, who's smiling as he watches the encounter, and it really does make me feel like I'm doing important work. He can do important work too, if he's open to the idea. I'm just not sure how or when to broach the subject. Maybe I will tonight. I have the brochures at home, and we'll be there because the furniture is going to be delivered.

"Stop hogging Buster," a male voice calls out from the other side of the room and I look over to find Mr. Johnson sitting there snarling. He's always grumpy and while not even Buster can put a smile on his face, I know Mr. Johnson loves the visits.

"Want to go see Mr. Johnson?" I ask Buster, and he starts toward the elderly man with his arms open, a treat in his hand.

As we approach, out in the hall, a woman chuckles. It carries through the room and when I turn back, not feeling Conner behind me, I see him standing perfectly still, his face paling as he angles his ear toward the door. What the hell is going on? Does he know the woman who is laughing? If so, why does he look like he just saw a ghost?