14. Conner

14

Conner

" T hat smells so good," Zoe says, as she runs around the kitchen, excited after an afternoon of swimming, eating and hanging with friends. I have to say having her has been a blast, and has helped make this big old house feel less huge and homier.

"Do you want to carry it?"

She nods and I put the big bowl into her small arms. "Careful. I'll get our drinks." I pour wine into two stemmed glasses, and apple juice into the other. Zoe asked if she could have her juice like that and I don't see the harm.

I carry the glasses into the room, and my heart does a little thump when I see Zoe snuggled beside Dani, leaving space for me on the other side, so she can be between us. She shoves a handful of popcorn into her mouth.

"Hey, save some for me." She chuckles and Dani picks up a kernel and tosses it at me, like they're conspiring. I couldn't love this more.

I set the drinks down and slide in next to Zoe. She smiles up at me, and as I ruffle her hair, I can't help but think this little girl could use a little male influence in her life. Gina's not interested in bringing a man into her life and that I can understand, but I hate the thoughts of this sweet girl missing out on having a dad. When my child is born, I plan to be there for them no matter what.

I lift my head and find Dani smiling at me. "All set?"

I nod, and she reaches for the remote and hits play. For the next hour and a half, we eat popcorn, have our drinks, and stop the movie for a couple of bathroom breaks. Just before it's over, I feel a nudge on my arm, and glance down. My heart pinches tight when I see Zoe slumped against me, sleeping. It's a good thing we had her brush her teeth earlier. I should say, it's a good thing Dani had her brush her teeth earlier. I'm guessing she saw this coming, and it once again reminds me she's going to be such a great mom.

"I better carry her up."

"She had a busy day." Dani yawns and stretches as she pushes off the sofa.

"Looks like you're ready for bed too."

"Oh, did you want to stay up longer?" she asks, her lids half closed.

I give her a playful smile. "Nope." I ease from the sofa and scoop up Zoe. "We've had far too many late nights."

"I don't know if I'd say far too many," she responds sleepily, her eyes warm, sated, and full of happiness. I'm not sure I remember seeing Dani this happy. Was she ever this happy with Alec? Would she hate me if she knew the secret I was keeping, and that I was the reason he was dead?

Pushing those hard thoughts to the back of my mind, I follow Dani to the stairs. We head up and she goes into the spare room and pulls down the covers. Zoe had been to Dani's house, just never mine. In fact, it's been a long time since I've had anyone in my place. I sort of stopped living after my brother's death. But we showed her around earlier, and let her know where our room was if she needed us.

Dani tucks her in and turns on the nightlight she picked up when we knew we were taking Zoe. She stops at the door, and the longing in her is palpable as she stares at the sweet, sleeping child. My God, it makes me want to put a baby in her all the more.

We make our way across the hall and after we brush our teeth and wash our faces, I tug off my clothes, turn the lamp on and climb into bed. Dani leaves on her T-shirt and panties and crawls in beside me.

She rolls into me, and as I breathe in the scent of her hair my mind goes back to this afternoon. "Did you enjoy getting in the pool today?"

"It was fun," she murmurs, and I don't miss the hitch in her voice.

"Hey," I inch away to see her and she angles her head to see me. "Did you just want it to be us and Noah's family? You seemed upset when I told you the guys were coming."

"It's just…"

I pull her to me. "What?"

"I told you before that I don't always feel like I fit in. I'm not…like the other women."

"No, you're not." She looks down, and I continue. "Which is why you're in this bed and they're not."

She gives an almost hysterical laugh. "I'm in this bed because we're trying to make a baby."

"What if I told you otherwise? That you're in this bed because out of all the women at the pool today, you're the one I like best."

"Summer was there, you know that, right? She was the girl you asked out. She's not the one who asked you for a favor. You picked her."

I'd actually picked Dani first, all those years ago. I just didn't think I was good enough for her, and then when my big brother, who always watched out for me, swooped in, that was that.

Under her breath she adds, "I'm not tall and thin and gorgeous like the other women."

"For the record, not every man likes tall and thin, and also for the record, you're fucking gorgeous. I've thought that since the first time I laid eyes on you." She rolls her eyes like she doesn't believe that and I slide my hand over her hip. "You're sexy as hell, Dani, and you speak French, now that is a real turn on." She grins, her mood shifting. "Do you have any idea how much I wanted to sink my teeth into these curves today when you were out there in your bathing suit?"

"Really?"

This time she sounds like she might half believe me. "Yes, really." I go quiet for a second, guilt eating at me. I can't tell her everything but she needs to know some things—even if this could change everything, but it's the right thing to do and a chance I have to take.

Since we're being completely honest with each other, I begin. "I don't always feel like I fit in either."

Her head rears back. "What are you talking about?"

"I had a hard time growing up." I shrug but the memories are still painful. "I couldn't learn like other kids."

"You had some struggles." Her voice is soft, and gentle, and it wraps around me and squeezes tight. "Everyone has struggles in different areas, Conner."

I swallow against a painful lump. "What if our child…" I really don't want to pass down my struggles.

"What if our child, what?"

"I know you want my DNA." I shift in the bed, uncomfortably warm now. "I understand why, but what if my DNA is flawed?"

She sits up, crosses her legs and faces me. "You are not flawed in any way."

"I…I have a learning disability. Dyslexia, actually. It didn't get diagnosed until high school. That's why I had such a hard time in school and that's why my parents put me in hockey when I was young. I didn't get my brother's brains." I lift my eyes to find loving concern on her face, which prompts me to continue. "I have a hard time reading and learning. I don't want our child to suffer like I did. I realize I should have told you that before. I find it hard to talk about."

"You haven't told anyone?"

I put my arm behind my head. "No."

"It's nothing to be embarrassed about, Conner."

I snort out a humorless laugh. "Kids were cruel."

"Yeah, kids can be cruel," she agrees, as she frowns and glances down. "Teens are cruel too."

Is she remembering something from her past? Or maybe she has a secret of her own that she's not telling me. "I understand if you don't want to have a child with me. I should have told you. I want to help you, Dani. I just don't talk about my learning disorder, but you should have had all that information before we began this…I understand if you don't want?—"

She puts her finger on my lips to stop me. "Conner. You were having a hard time reading the instructions."

"What?"

"When you were baby proofing the bathroom." She gives a small laugh of relief. "I thought you were having second thoughts, but that wasn't it at all."

"I was having a hard time," I admit. "Actually, my learning disorder was a big part of my hesitation when you asked me for a favor."

"What is the other part?"

I frown and reach for her hand. "I didn't want anything to ruin our friendship. We both know things can be taken away from you pretty quickly." My gaze moves over her face, gauging her reactions as I wait… Wait for what? Do I really expect her to say she wants to be more than friends? She asked for my DNA, not marriage. She still loves her late husband. Besides, how could we ever be together? The secret I'm keeping would make me insane, because I think about it whenever I see her, and if I ever told her, to get it off my chest, it would gut her and she'd never forgive me.

"I was thinking," she murmurs. "You said you have a hard time reading instructions."

"Yeah."

She smiles at me, her eyes tired. I'm about to tell her we should get some sleep, when she says, "You know what you don't have a hard time reading."

"What?"

"Me, my body. What I want and need." She moves to straddle me. Falling forward, she takes my hands and weaves her fingers through mine. Her mouth finds mine for a soft, gentle kiss full of want, need and passion, and it curls around my heart and hugs tight, momentarily making me forget what's happening between us is just to make a baby. When she breaks the kiss, she grins. "Did you read anything into that?"

"Hell yeah, I did."

I put my arms around her back and roll her, until I have her pressed beneath me. I move her hair from her face, the softness in her eyes seeping under my skin and pulling every emotion from my darkest corners.

"Conner," she murmurs, like she's feeling something very different here too.

I don't answer. I know what she's asking. I kiss a slow path down her neck, zero urgency in us tonight, probably because we're both so tired, or maybe it's something else. My brain isn't really working at top speed at the moment.

I moan against her skin and kiss her breasts through her shirt. She wiggles beneath me, and my cock presses against her leg. My fingers connect with soft skin as I lift her shirt, and moan in sheer delight when I'm gifted with a view of her beautiful pert nipples. With a gentle touch, I lightly trace one with the tip of my finger, and slide my tongue around the other.

"Yes, Conner." She arches her body, her fingers raking through my hair. I spend a long time on her nipples as my cock aches for release, but I ignore it for the moment, because I simply want to savor every minute, every taste of this incredible woman.

Her moans are soft, breathy, and when her hands move to my shoulders and back, her touch is slow and thorough as they feather over my muscles. I eventually tear my mouth away from her luscious breasts and start a slow path downward until I reach her panties. I grip them with my teeth and tug them down. Her fingers fall from my back, no longer able to reach me and she moans with displeasure.

"I love touching you," she murmurs, and I glance up to see her go up on her elbows to watch me. That moan of displeasure turns to one of delight as I remove her panties and bury my face between her legs, and the second I taste her, I honestly don't know which of us is experiencing more pleasure.

With the soft blade of my tongue, I swirl through her liquid heat—I do love how excited she gets when she's with me. She softly chants my name as I turn my focus to her perfectly aroused clit.

I rub it with my finger. "So beautiful."

She whimpers and moves her body, and I cover her swollen nub with my mouth, and suck her in. Her whimpers grow louder and I slip a thick finger inside her channel. As I torture her with my mouth and hands, her breathing changes and in no time at all, she tumbles into a sweet orgasm.

"That's my girl." Keeping my finger inside, giving her something to clench on to, I ease the pressure on her sensitive clit and glance up at her. I take in her flushed cheeks, the way her eyes are locked on mine, the look of happiness and stupor on her beautiful face. There is nothing I'd like more than to make this woman come every single day.

Will there ever come a time that I can do that?