Chapter 22

~Justin

I"m staring blankly at Gabe"s expensive coffeemaker, reminding myself that I was supposed to be making coffee. I"m regretting that I told Gabe so much on that trip. I was out of it, that"s why I did it. But I should have never told him anything. I feel like I cut myself open for him, left myself raw and bleeding.

Everything that happened is too real now, coming back at me. It"s making me shaky. I keep stopping in the middle of doing things, freezing up, barely keeping myself under control. No wonder Gabe offered to send me to therapy.

A chime from my phone makes me jump a mile. It"s a text from Christie. She"s reminding me that Gabe and I are expected at their house for dinner tonight. This is the first I"m hearing about this. I guess Gabe accepted an invitation without even asking me.

Gabe thinks that he owns me, but I"m not his thing to be dragged around wherever he wants to go. He doesn"t control me and he doesn"t get to make decisions for me.

Going over to the door of his office, I"m out of breath with anger when I tell him, "You had no right to accept an invitation on my behalf."

Looking away from his laptop screen, Gabe just seems confused. "What are you talking about?"

"Did you forget? We"re supposed to have dinner with our damn parents."

Gabe glares at me and tells me, "I didn"t."

Now I"m confused. "Your mother just texted me about it. She said I"m supposed to be there tonight. Both of us are."

"Justin, I accepted the invitation for myself. My mother must have misunderstood and assumed you were coming too. I never expected you to go," he tells me in a cool, controlled voice.

"So you don"t want me to go," I say accusingly. Does he think I"m too fragile or is it something else? "You"re afraid our parents will figure out what we"ve been up to." Everyone else seems to see right through us, why not them?

Gabe stares at me hard. "I"ve changed my mind. I"m making it a job requirement for you to go to this family dinner with me," he tells me coldly.

I consider saying no, but I"m not about to flip-flop again. "Fine," I tell him.

The sun is almost done setting as Gabe"s car pulls up in front of our parents" mansion. Shadows are long and starting to blend into the coming night.

I wish I hadn"t agreed to come, but my pride wouldn"t let me back out. I refuse to give Gabe the satisfaction of admitting he was right in not wanting me to come with him.

Going in, we get a warm greeting from Christie. Then we go into the living room and I see that Gabe"s Aunt Brenda is also a guest at this dinner. Now I regret agreeing to come even more. I correct myself, I didn"t agree to come, I dared Gabe into bringing me.

All through dinner, Aunt Brenda keeps talking to Gabe about different wealthy, young women he should get to know, and the ones he shouldn"t. Sometimes she shoots me a disapproving look. Gabe ignores her and not too politely. His mother keeps trying to change the subject, and hints to Aunt Brenda that her suggestions are wide of the mark.

After dinner, I don"t rush to join everyone in the living room for drinks. I need a minute to just breathe so I linger in the dining room, pace next to the long table. The staff are coming in to clear the table so I get out of their way and go to pace in the hallway. I just can"t seem to catch my breath. Why can"t I just calm the hell down?

That"s when my father corners me. He asks me, "Isn"t it about time you stopped sponging off your stepbrother? Your mother couldn"t stand on her own feet either."

"Shut up about Mom!" I warn him but he just keeps at it.

"She was needy and desperate. She brought her suffering on herself and you"re exactly like her. Gabe wants his brother to be alive and you"re just a second-rate substitute."

"You can say whatever you want about me, but you don"t talk about Mom, not one word about her," I warn him through gritted teeth. If he does, I feel I could kill him.

"Who the hell do you think you are, you...?"

All of a sudden Gabe is standing behind my father and grabbing him. He must have heard everything. Spinning him around, Gabe presses my father to the wall. With a forearm against his neck, Gabe growls at him, "The only reason you aren"t in a bloody heap on the floor is because I don"t want to upset my mother. She has been through enough."

After making sure that my father can"t breathe for a while, Gabe lets him go and turns to me to say, "We"re leaving."

I"m not waiting for him though. I"m stumbling out then running out of there. I can"t stop. I just keep running. I don"t know how long it takes me from that ritzy neighborhood to my decrepit, old apartment building. My lungs are painfully raw, my throat is dry and my legs barely move.

I"m climbing the stairs to the roof when Gabe suddenly catches up to me and grabs my arm. "Where are you going?" he wants to know.

I stare at him. Did he really run after me all the way here? He"s out of breath like he did. He couldn"t have followed me in his car. I took too many shortcuts. I thought I left him far behind, but here he is so I tell him, "Since you"re here, I"m going to show you what I"m worth."

"Come back home with me," Gabe tells me. "I"m sorry I made you go to the dinner. You never have to deal with your father ever again. Everything he told you is wrong."

"Is it? Maybe he"s right about me. Maybe I"m like my mom and I should be dead like her," I tell him.

Grabbing me, Gabe pulls me into a hug and kisses me. "I need you to come home with me, Justin."

"You"re just telling me what you think I want to hear because you feel sorry for me and guilty about your brother." I try to pull away but Gabe won"t let me.

He challenges me, "OK, tell me what you do want to hear."

"I don"t know," I admit.

Now Gabe runs his hands over my body and says in a low, rasping voice, "Then tell me what you want to feel."

Even in the state I"m in, I can feel myself getting seduced, I can feel myself wanting to give up all my self-destructiveness for him, so I tell him honestly, "I hate how you can get to me so easy."

"And I like it," Gabe says.

"You like having power over me," I accuse him.

Gabe shakes his head. His hands grip my hips and tug me closer as he tells me, "You"re the one who has power over me, and that"s a new and painful experience for me that I don"t want to give up." I gape at him and he kisses me hard, holding me so tight against him it hurts.