Chapter 34

thirty-four

. . .

Henley

“All right, you’ve slept most of the day. It’s time to get up. And this was on your doorstep when I got back from the store,” Lulu said, holding up the little white bag and handing it to me as I sat up in bed.

She opened the curtains, and I shielded my eyes from the sun and looked inside the bag to see the cake donut and a little container of chocolate milk.

“How did he get this here?” I asked, biting into the donut because I’d barely eaten yesterday, and I was starving.

“Maybe he’s back?” Lulu said.

“His mom said that he left the hospital and drove straight to Magnolia Falls. He’s not here. Maybe he had someone drop it off.” I shrugged. “Which makes no sense, since he’s barely speaking to me.”

“Listen, Hen, you know I can be a man-hater on command. And if a guy does you wrong, he better run for his life.” She chuckled as she sat down beside me on the edge of the bed. “But that man was distraught yesterday. His voice was shaking, and he sounded?—”

“He sounded what?”

“Broken. He sounded broken.”

She pushed to her feet and walked out of the room before returning with two coffees and the newspaper. She kicked off her cowboy booties and handed me a coffee before climbing into bed next to me.

“Listen, we can’t know what he’s going through until he deals with it. So, when he comes back, he will not be allowed to give you some lame excuse. The man flipped out and left town. It’s inexcusable, so he will either explain himself, or you will kick his ass to the curb.” She shrugged. “In the meantime, we’re going to drink our lattes, read ‘The Taylor Tea’ that came out yesterday, because everyone at The Green Basket was talking about it, and then we can binge-watch some movies.”

“I’m glad you’re here,” I said, wincing as I adjusted my back against the headboard. My body was pretty bruised from the beating I took in the river.

But it was my heart that hurt the most.

I couldn’t believe that he’d left me.

I mean, first, I couldn’t believe that he’d jumped off that raft and kept me above water through the rapids.

He’d risked his own life to save mine.

But then he’d bailed.

He wouldn’t tell me what was going on, no matter how hard I pushed lately.

And we couldn’t move forward if he couldn’t tell me when he was struggling.

If he doesn’t trust me enough to open up to me, I can’t trust him enough with my heart.

I was all in. I would not be all in on someone who didn’t feel the same about me.

“Fine. Let’s hear ‘The Taylor Tea,’” I said, taking a sip of my coffee and tucking my hair behind my ear.

“Oh, my,” she said. “It’s really juicy today. And you’re quite the hot topic. Which, by the way, that douche tomato that runs The Green Basket was there this morning, and he had a black eye and a bruised cheek.”

I couldn’t help but smile, even though I wasn’t a fan of violence. Josh Black was an asshole, and I doubted this was the first or the last time someone would lose their shit on him. “I still can’t believe everything that happened yesterday.”

“Well, your man was not having it. But… it makes for interesting tea in Rosewood River. Are you ready?” She cleared her throat.

“I can’t wait,” I said, not hiding my sarcasm.

My mind was on my boyfriend right now. He’d only texted that he loved me and that he was sorry.

Sorry for what?

Well, I hoped he was sorry for leaving me, because I was pretty pissed off about that. He knew I had my triggers. The fact that I fell out of the raft, and he had to dive in and rescue me, was embarrassing enough. But then he’d bailed at the hospital.

My insecurities were raring their ugly head at me.

“ Hey there, Roses. Well, it’s the week we’re reminded to be thankful, and one thing you are going to be thankful for is the tea I’m about to spill ,” Lulu read, and she paused to waggle her brows at me. “ Rosewood River’s favorite lawyer is at it again. He may be the king of the river, but he’s clearly willing to set the crown aside for his queen. ” Lulu squealed and kicked her feet. “Are you kidding me right now? This is freaking gold. Anonymous is speaking my love language.”

“Just continue, please.” I rolled my eyes, even though I was curious about what it was going to say.

She shook the paper and looked back down as she read more. “ Our local king saw his queen take a spill on the river, and before he allowed her to sleep with dead fish, he dove right over the side, abandoning the other sexy Chadwicks in the raft. ” Lulu paused again, and I groaned. “She’s right. I only met Axel and Bridger at the hospital, but damn, they were hot. And I know Clark Chadwick is also gorgeous, because he's on every sports channel I turn on.”

“Since when do you watch sports?” I laughed.

“Well, I don’t. But when I’ve been channel surfing, I’ve seen him. So how about the others? Who am I missing?”

“Rafe and Archer.” I stopped her before she started grilling me. “Yes, and yes. Both are gorgeous. It’s a hereditary gene. And Easton’s twin sister is stunning. So there you go. They’re all beautiful. Can you finish reading? You left me on a cliffhanger.”

“Yes. Of course. So, where were we? Okay, he abandoned the other sexy Chadwick’s in the raft.” She paused before changing her tone and getting serious again. “ He carried his fair lady on his body, keeping her head above water, before he helped her purge all that water she’d taken in. Yes, she vomited half the river right there in front of everyone ,” Lulu said, glancing up to find me horrified.

“I could have drowned. She didn’t have to be so descriptive,” I groaned. “Go on.”

“ But apparently, our favorite legal eagle has a problem with a certain grocer extraordinaire, who I shall not name… but let’s just say his basket is not green. IYKYK. The king knocked out the man who keeps us all well-fed, and there was some serious hate between them. Several locals said they saw he, who shall not be named, intentionally knock his raft into another raft, causing our queen to spill out into the raging rapids. And to say there is a lot of animosity there now would be a massive understatement. But buckle up, Roses… because the king has left the castle. He left the hospital in a huff, and we can only be left believing that there is trouble on the river, because another little birdie told me the king asked his queen to shack up with him. But now he’s nowhere to be found. Maybe he has cold feet… maybe the future queen isn’t happy with him throwing fists on her behalf… or maybe this is just the end of their fairy tale. Time will tell. For now… we can all focus on the holidays. The town tree goes up tomorrow, and word on Main Street is our not to be named mayor cheaped out on hiring help, and his team is not happy with him at all. But an insider tells me that it’s all because Mrs. Mayor was seen canoodling with Mr. Mayor’s smoking hot chief of staff after a few Thanksgiving hot toddies. And you know what they say, Roses… where there’s smoke, there’s usually fire. ” Lulu fell back against the headboard. “She’s such a savage. I love this.”

“She just told everyone in town that I puked.”

“Please. Everyone in town already knew. You didn’t hide it. You did it out in the open. She’s just sharing the facts.”

“I could have drowned.” I raised a brow.

“Well, then she wouldn’t have said you puked. So it was actually good news. And Mr. Black Basket did not look happy at all this morning. He slipped on some sunglasses, and he claimed his store was out of the Rosewood Review . He didn’t have any for sale.”

“So, how did you get it?”

“I went to Rosewood Brew for coffee, and there was a guy standing outside the coffee shop selling them.” She beamed at me.

“I thought you hated the media. You’ve been dragged through the mud, yet you support this?”

“Listen, this is not national news. This is small-town fun.” She set her coffee cup down. “Or maybe I just like that I’m not the topic.”

“Yeah? I get that. Have things quieted down for you now that the election is over? Your uncle won, so at least you can’t be blamed for him not being governor,” I said.

“Yes. Thank goodness for that. And things are quiet for now. But you know how Beckett is. He never really goes away. But I haven’t been stalked by the press lately, so maybe he’s moving on with his backup singer after all.” She sighed. “One can hope because my father is all over me. And I just signed this huge deal with a company in France, and he had no interest in hearing about it. He just keeps asking if I’m ever going to settle down.”

“Maybe settling down is overrated. I haven’t even moved in with my boyfriend, and he’s already bailed on me.” I tried to act unaffected, but I’d never been able to hide anything from Lulu.

She tugged me over to her and wrapped her arms around me, hugging me tight. “He’ll come around. He’s got some things to work through, but I don’t doubt for a minute that he loves you. And that’s what matters most. He’ll figure it out.”

A tear streamed down my cheek. “And if he doesn’t?”

“Then I’ll cut his balls off and mail them directly to ‘The Taylor Tea.’ I’ll give them something to talk about.”

I chuckled, even as the tears continued to fall.

And fall, they did. For the next several hours. Because the truth was, I knew that Easton was hurting. And the only way that I could help him was if he opened up to me.

And I wasn’t sure that would ever happen.

I forced myself to get out of bed, and Lulu and I watched two movies before she left to go pick up dinner for us from Honey Biscuit Café.

I’d showered and tied my hair up in a messy bun on top of my head before slipping into some cozy sweats.

I’d checked my phone several times throughout the day, and I hadn’t heard a word from Easton.

His parents had both texted me to see how I was feeling.

His brothers and cousins had put me on a group chat to see how I was doing, and though Easton was on the chat, he hadn’t commented.

I stared at my phone, trying to decide if I should reach out to him, when a knock on the door pulled me from my thoughts.

“I thought you took a key,” I said, as I tugged the door open, expecting to see Lulu.

And there stood a disheveled Easton. He wore a pair of navy joggers and a gray hoodie.

“Hey,” he said, his gaze searching mine.

“Hi. I thought you were in Magnolia Falls.”

“I was. And then I drove back, and Dr. Langford did an emergency appointment with me today before I came here.” I’d known that he’d been seeing Dr. Langford, and I was grateful that he’d seen her today after what had happened.

“Okay.” I shrugged. I wasn’t going to just act like everything was okay. He’d bailed on me in the hospital, and I needed to know why.

“Can I come in? There are some things I need to say to you.”

“Of course,” I said, leading him to the living room, where I sat on the couch. He paced in front of me for a few seconds before turning to look at me.

“I’m sorry.”

“For what specifically, Easton?” My tone was harsher than I’d intended.

He sighed and moved to sit beside me. “I’m sorry for not telling you what I was going through before now. I’m sorry for being irrational about you going rafting. I’m sorry for losing my shit after we got to shore, when I should have been focused on you instead of punching that dickfuck Josh in the face.” He paused and took my hands, his eyes wet with emotion. “I’m sorry for leaving you at the hospital. For not going back in the room with you, and for getting the hell out of town when you needed me most.”

I nodded. “That’s a lot of apologies. Are you going to tell me why you did what you did? Because I don’t want any more excuses, Easton. You asked me to move in with you. We’re starting our lives together, and there’s this whole side of you that you won’t share with me.”

“I know. I’ve held it all in for so long that I didn’t know how to say the words aloud. I’ve used my own coping mechanisms for years. And according to Dr. Langford, everything was working well for me, until I met you.”

“What does that mean?”

“Well, I guess it’s just been the way I processed things after Jilly’s accident. I went off to law school and put my head down and worked hard. I got back to living in my own way. I didn’t have a serious relationship, but I hooked up with women over the years, and that had worked well for me. And then I got hired by the firm, and I became obsessed with being the best at my profession. There was no time for anything more,” he said, his thumb stroking my palm. “And then I met you.”

“And then you met me,” I whispered.

“I guess meeting you, loving you, it brought back all those fears that I’d tucked away. I hadn’t cared about anyone in a very long time, and then you walked into my life and stole my fucking heart, Henley. I didn’t even know it still worked. But it’s yours, and I didn’t know how to handle the things that I was feeling.”

“What kind of things?”

“Nightmares that had come back. Panic attacks that were debilitating at times. Fears about losing you.” He cleared his throat and looked away. “I’m a proud man, Princess. I don’t like asking for help. I don’t like feeling weak. But loving you has made me a weak man.”

Tears were streaming down my face. “You’re not weak, Easton. You’re human. You’re allowed to feel vulnerable and scared, but you have to talk to me.”

He nodded. “Before we even went out on that water, I was having panic attacks about you getting hurt. Nightmares where I couldn’t get to you. I wasn’t sharing it with you or with Dr. Langford because I just thought I could push it away. But it didn’t work. And all my fears were unraveling before my eyes on that river, and I just couldn’t handle it.”

“That’s why you left the hospital?”

“I left the hospital because the last time I was there, I was told that my girlfriend had died.” He blew out a breath. “And even after they’d told me that you were okay, I was overcome by the thought that I could have lost you. Because there’s one thing I’m certain of—” he paused to think over his words.

“What?” I whispered.

“I can’t live in a world that you aren’t in, Princess.”

My heart shattered at his words.

Because I couldn’t live in a world that he wasn’t in either.