Chapter 35

thirty-five

. . .

Easton

I was fucking exhausted. My appointment with Dr. Langford had been emotionally draining. At the end of the day, she’d said there was no way to move forward without dealing with the past.

I’d pushed it away for years. But loving Henley had brought it all back.

And sometimes there was no way to avoid a storm. Sometimes you just had to open the door and go through it.

“I’m not going anywhere, Easton,” she said, pushing closer and wrapping her arms around me.

I breathed in all that goodness.

All that hope.

Henley Holloway was my future.

But we weren’t going to have one if I continued to hide what was going on with me.

I pulled back and used the pads of my thumbs to swipe the tears from her cheeks.

“I want to tell you about the night that Jilly passed away. I want you to understand why I am going through what I’m going through.”

She nodded. “Okay. I want to know everything.”

“I think I avoided telling you because I didn’t want to burden you with my shit. I really thought I could handle it, but I think after yesterday, it’s clear that it runs deeper than that.”

“I agree.” She nodded, her hands in mine.

“We were celebrating mine and Emmy’s birthday. Jilly’s parents were there. We were all having a good time. We had a bunch of friends over, as well, and it was a big party, you know?”

“I can see it. A Chadwick-style celebration,” she said, as she sniffed a few times because we both knew how this story ended.

“We’d gotten the call that there’d been an accident. I was confused because I thought she was out of town, but her parents told me that she’d wanted to surprise me. Obviously, we were worried when we’d gotten the call, but we had no idea the severity of the accident. We’d just been told that there’d been an accident, and she was being brought to the hospital.” I blew out a breath. “So her family and my family piled into a bunch of cars and got down there as quickly as we could.”

“I’m glad they were with you,” she said, her voice just above a whisper.

“At first, we were told that she’d been brought in and that she was in a room, and they were waiting for the doctor to come out and update us. So we just thought everything was probably okay.” I looked away, because I hated this memory so much. It was one that had haunted my nightmares the entire first year after Jilly passed. It had finally gone away, and I never wanted to go there again.

But here we were.

“And then a nurse came to tell us there had been some confusion because there were multiple people injured in the accident. Some more severely than others. Jilly was actually not in a room. She’d been rushed into surgery, and her injuries were extensive, but she was expected to recover. So we went from thinking everything was okay to thinking things were not great but not dire. Never in a million years did I expect what would happen next.”

Henley wiped her tears free and squeezed my hands harder. “Tell me.”

“Dr. Wicker came out to see us, and I knew the minute he pushed open the doors. It was written all over his face. After hours of surgery, he looked defeated and devastated and everything you never want to see on a doctor’s face.” I cleared my throat and said the words he’d said to us all those years ago. “ I’m so sorry. We did all that we could. Her injuries were just too severe. ”

I leaned back on the couch, pulling Henley with me as I relived the worst moment of my life.

“I’m so sorry. That is anyone’s worst nightmare, Easton,” she said, as she looked at me and stroked my cheek.

“I can still hear the horrific cries from Jilly’s parents after he’d said those words. My parents were a mess, and my mother was sitting on the floor, holding Jilly’s mom. And I couldn’t process any of it. I just stood there, dumbfounded, unable to speak or cry or feel anything.”

“Everyone deals with grief differently.”

“Agreed. And I spent days in bed afterward, doing just that. Every night, I’d lie in the fetal position, shaking, reliving those words. Then I went to see Dr. Langford, and after the summer, I left for law school. And I poured myself into school, you know?”

“Yes. I understand that.”

“And everything was good for years. Sure, I’d get drunk once a year on my birthday when I remembered what I’d lost on that day. But I was able to compartmentalize—up until I met you. And everything changed.”

“I’m sorry. I wish you would have told me,” she said, stroking my face over and over. As if she could take my pain from me, and in a way, she was.

Just telling her was healing. Like this heavy weight was lifting off my shoulders.

“I thought I had it handled. But then the nightmares started. And then the panic attacks came more often. I thought if I could just get you not to go out on the river, it would go away. And then when you insisted on going, I thought if we could just get through it, maybe it would all go away.”

“It’s trauma, Easton. You lost someone that you love. But that doesn’t mean that you will lose me. I’m here. I’m right here. And you are the reason for that. You saved me. You dove out of that raft and you got me down the river. And I want you to lean on me when you need me. I don’t want you to suffer in silence.”

“It’s my burden, Henley. I did not want to put that on you. But when we pulled up at that hospital, I felt like the walls were closing in around me. I couldn’t breathe. Even when the paramedic told me that you were going to be okay, I didn’t believe it. And then my mom came out and said everything was fine and that you were getting released, and I don’t know—I lost it. I told Rafe to give me a ride to my car. He tried to talk me out of it, but I wasn’t having it. I texted Lulu and asked her to get to the hospital, and then I got into my car and drove to Magnolia Falls. Away. I needed to be away.”

“I’m sorry I scared you.” Her words broke on a sob. “I’m sorry I made you relive that day. But I’m grateful you were there for me. You saved me, Easton.”

“Baby, do not apologize. You didn’t do anything wrong. You were just living your life, which is exactly what you should be doing. Hell, I do it every day. I can’t expect you to stop living because of my issues.” I kissed her forehead. “But in that moment, when I thought I could have lost you, I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t think straight. And I did the only thing I could to survive, which was leave. It’s not an excuse, and I know I was wrong. And I’m going to work like hell to do better next time. But telling you everything is a big step forward.”

She shifted, climbing onto my lap and placing one hand on each side of my face. “It’s a huge step. And we’ll figure it out together. It doesn’t mean I won’t do things that scare you, but it means we’ll talk through them, and we’ll do it as a team. Okay?”

“Yeah. I like the sound of that. Dr. Langford asked if you’d come to therapy with me next week,” I said, rolling my eyes because I couldn’t believe I was dragging my girl to therapy now.

“Have you met me? Of course, I’ll go. I love therapy.” She chuckled. “We’ve all got our shit, Easton. It takes strength to face our fears, to talk about them.”

“I love you, Princess. I want to move in with you. I want this life with you.”

“I do, too,” she said, just as the front door opened and closed.

“Well, what do we have here?” Lulu raised a brow. “You’re back?”

I wrapped my arms around my girl. “I am.”

She studied me for a few beats and then looked at her best friend, and her gaze softened. “It looks like we’re working things out? You didn’t let him off the hook easily, did you?”

“I did not. He was open and honest, and that was exactly what I needed,” Henley said.

“Thank God. And lucky for you because while I was waiting for the food, I was researching tools that would be strong enough to cut off a man’s balls. But then I thought it over and realized orange is so not my color, and jail time would really piss off my father.”

I barked out a laugh. “Well, I guess I’m thankful for that.”

“Come on. I’ve got food. I brought an extra entrée because I heard we might have company,” Lulu said, waggling her brows as she moved to the kitchen.

My girl and I followed behind her.

“What do you mean?” Henley asked.

“Edith and Oscar are crazy asses. My stress level is off the charts. They were arguing about Edith swearing she saw Easton drive by out the window. But she was confused because ‘The Taylor Tea’ said you’d fled town. And then Oscar got all barky and jealous and told her she was too consumed with you.” She unloaded the food from the bag, setting three entrées down.

“So you just assumed he’d come to see me and you got him dinner?” Henley laughed.

“I did.” Lulu turned to look at me. “I know when a man is in love with a woman, and I didn’t doubt that he loved you when he left. He just took a minute to work out his shit.”

I passed out the napkins and utensils. “Thank you.”

“Sure. But there’s a message in your meal, so don’t you forget it, Chadwick.”

Henley opened her container to find the chicken salad that she’d ordered, and Lulu had a steak and a salad. When I opened my container, there was spaghetti with two large meatballs on top. I glanced over at Lulu, and she was twirling the plastic knife in her fingers.

The table erupted in laughter.

“I get it. My balls are on high alert,” I said, as we dove in and started eating.

I looked up at my girl to find her watching me.

And I knew in that moment that we were going to be just fine.

Rafe

Glad you figured out your shit and came home, brother.

Clark

Yeah. I’ve been worried about you.

Archer

You just needed to take a beat and figure it out.

Bridger

And fuck ‘The Taylor Tea’ for calling you out.

Axel

As much as I hate it, the author does seem to be spot-on with everything. How the fuck does she know what’s going on?

Glad to be back. It’s obviously someone who knows us well.

Archer

Or someone that just observes everyone and everything.

Bridger

Wake the fuck up. It’s Emilia fucking Taylor. It has to be. She’s clearly out to get us. Why is she always writing about our family?

Rafe

Maybe because we’re the most exciting topic in Rosewood River? And our boy did punch that assmunch, Josh, in public. So it doesn’t have to be Emilia. It could be anyone.

Axel

Why are you so convinced it’s Emilia, anyway? She doesn’t even work at the newspaper. She’s a goddamn florist, for fuck’s sake.

Archer

I’m telling you, she had a crush on Bridger when we were young, and he’s always misread it.

It doesn’t even matter who it is. I don’t give a shit. I got my girl back. I’m home. People can talk all they want. I’m tuning out the noise, boys.

Rafe

What the fuck is happening? Who is this, and what have you done with our bitter brother?

It’s me. And this is what happiness looks like, fuckface. Maybe give it a try.

Clark

Happy for you, brother. You deserve this. When is moving day?

Archer

Let me guess… you want to know so you can claim you have practice?

Clark

Moving isn’t my favorite thing. I prefer to get a stick to the face. winky face emoji

Axel

That explains a lot about your face. laughing face emoji Let me know when you need me, and I’ll be there.

Rafe

I wish I could help you move, but I’ve got a doctor’s appointment.

I haven’t told you the day, you dipdick.

Rafe

Remind me of the date.

Relax. We’re moving into Henley’s place. I’ll leave most of my furniture at my house, and we’ll probably rent it out. There is no moving day. But glad to know some of you fuckers were going to bail.

Rafe

Oh. My doctor just texted. My appointment is canceled. Indefinitely.

eye roll emoji

Rafe

Am I still good to stay in your guesthouse while I get the renovations done at my place?

Of course. It’s got a separate entrance, so we can still rent out the house with you in the back cottage.

Rafe

Great. Appreciate it, brother.

Archer

Are we still meeting tonight to see the Christmas tree and the lights downtown? Melody is old enough to enjoy it this year.

Bridger

Wouldn’t miss it.

Rafe

I swear Melody is the only girl Bridger’s ever been soft for.

Bridger

Riddle me stupid. She’s three years old and the cutest thing on the planet.

Clark

Can’t argue with that. I’ll be there.

Rafe

I’ll be there. My boss is bogging me down with work right now, and I swear he’s being a dick because I told him that I have a girlfriend. Easton, can I file some sort of HR complaint against him?

Sure, buddy. File a complaint that you think your boss is making you work because you told him that you have a girlfriend, one whom you’ve made up in your head to avoid dating his daughter. They’ll have a field day with that.

Axel

The shark has spoken. You better find a lady before you go to your boss’s wedding or the jig is up.

Rafe

I could find a lady in my sleep.

Well, I found mine, and I’d like to stop texting you and go enjoy her muffins.

Rafe

You’re a filthy pig.

She made blueberry muffins for breakfast, you trash bag. But… now that you mention it. winky face emoji

Archer

See you tonight, assholes.

A slew of emojis came through, and I set my phone down as my girl pulled the muffins from the oven.

And I just watched her.

I knew she was the woman I’d spend the rest of my life with. I knew I’d propose to her when we were both ready.

Because she was the one I’d been waiting for.

And forever started the day she’d walked into that office.

So I’d just savor every day, every moment, with the woman who stole my heart.