Chapter 6

Haley

I stare at Cole’s text message, my heart pounding in my chest. Holy crap. Is he serious?

Haley: Absolutely!

Excitement bubbles out of me. And before I read into why he’s asking, I get busy with the basics.

Haley: What’s the budget? Do you have a theme in mind?

Haley: Is this in-house or do you want to rent a space? Hotel? Museum? Art gallery?

Haley: Date?

Haley: How many people?

Haley: Cocktails and light food or full menu?

I’ve got a great concept in mind already if he wants a Winter Wonderland scheme. Or does he want something more festive, like candy canes and shit? Ohhhh, maybe they want a more rustic vibe with evergreens and holly? Hey, they might like jewel tones and funky décor.

Typing another question, I pause and look at what I’ve sent so far. Shoot, I need to back off a bit. He probably thinks I’ve lost my mind. He hasn’t answered a single one of my texts yet and is likely already scratching his eyeballs out with frustration that I’m blowing his phone up.

Cole never was one for snaps and texts. He hates being on his cell.

My phone vibrates.

Cole: I’ll get back to you.

He doesn’t say anything else. The highs I felt twenty seconds ago crash to the ground. It’s fine. All good. He probably wasn’t expecting so much from me so soon.

That’s a current theme for the two of us, I guess.

Sitting back on my couch, I put my feet up and blow out an exasperated breath. “Way to bombard him, Hales. You suck.”

Running my finger over my bottom lip, my mind flashes back to that dynamite kiss we had earlier. Talk about mind-blowing. He’s definitely changed.

Cole’s a lot more aggressive than he used to be.

Does that go for all sex acts or just what he does with his mouth? My pussy clenches when I imagine him going to town down there.

Pulling up his Insta, I lock onto a photo of him playing basketball. He’s dunking—arms up with the ball ready to slam into the bucket. He’s so high off the ground, he looks like he’s flying. It’s my favorite photo of all the ones he’s posted this year. I know I belong in the stalker category, but I don’t care.

I’ve missed him every day and these photos make me happy. Every time he posts a new reel or photo dump, my heart cheers. Then it sobs because I’ve lost out on so much with this man.

It’s my fault. No sense in crying over it anymore.

Scrolling through several posts, I stop on a pic of him fishing on a boat. Wearing sunglasses, a backwards baseball hat, and no shirt, his skin gleams with a sheen of sweat and I can count all six of his abs.

He’s holding a beer in one hand and flipping the camera off with the other. He’s got a huge classic Cole smile on his face that makes my heart melt. In the next photo, he’s leaning against the side of the boat, looking to his right. The one after that, he’s holding a huge fish. The one after that is of him swimming in the ocean—the water so blue, it’s got to be in the Caribbean.

Returning to the first pic, I run my hand down to the joining of my thighs. I changed out of my pencil skirt and blouse the instant I got home, which means reaching my pussy is a whole lot easier in these sweatpants and hoodie.

Yes, I still have his hoodie. I wear it so often, it’s a miracle the threads haven’t disintegrated.

Shoving a finger in my pussy, I pleasure myself with the memory of how Cole kissed me earlier. It was wild, aggressive, possessive. As if the instant he confirmed I was single, he claimed me.

Dramatic and inaccurate, I know, but the thought makes me so horny I could die. I’m good at pretending. I’ve fantasized about this man ever since we played our first game of flip cup and I’ve never stopped.

I pretend he’s here with me now, watching me get off.

“Such a slut for my cock, aren’t you, Haley?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“You want that pretty little cunt filled, Angel?”

“More than anything.”

“Earn it.”

I will. I promise. Until then, I work my clit until my thighs shake and the release that’s built in me all day long rushes out of me. The orgasm is decent, but, just like all the other times I chase a release by myself, it’s nothing compared to what it used to be.

Clearly, I’m broken.

After washing up in the bathroom and getting ready to settle in for the night, I plop back down on my couch. A number I don’t recognize lights up my cell. “Next Level Events. This is Haley.”

“Hi, my name’s Courtney, I um, got your number from Jenna.”

I sit up and go into business mode. “Hi, Courtney. What can I do for you?”

“I’m getting married!” she squeals.

“Congratulations.” I’ll never tire of being happy for others. It’s always exciting when someone starts a new chapter of their life. “Have you set a date yet?”

“June twenty-seventh.”

“Wonderful. And where do you plan to have it?”

“I’m not sure yet. I was kind of hoping you could help me find a place. Actually, I was hoping you could plan the whole thing. I’m crap at making decisions and I’m too overwhelmed with even picking a theme. I thought I knew what I wanted my wedding to be like, but now that it’s for real, I don’t like anything I’ve come up with.”

“No problem.” I hop up and grab a pad of paper and pen from my big bag. “Tell me what you want and let me work my magic for you. Do you have a budget set?” She says there’s no price too high for the wedding of her dreams and gives me a long list of things she thinks she wants, but says she’s open to other options. It’s a massive wedding with five-hundred guests on the list.

“I’d love a horse-drawn carriage, but that’s not a deal breaker or anything.”

“Okay.” I furiously jot all her wishes down. “Do you have a location?”

“Somewhere in the mountains.”

Somewhere. In. The. Mountains. That’s not very specific. “Anywhere in particular?”

“I think Montana,” Courtney chirps. “I want big green open fields with the mountains in the back. And enough flowers to be seen from space. Oh, maybe Colorado would be good.”

Oh boy. “I’ll work on a couple options and send a contract over for you to review and sign, then we can go from there.”

“Perfect.” She sighs with relief. “I already feel the stress lifting from my shoulders.”

Yeah. And now it’s on me. Normally, I love working with brides, but this one may be more than I can handle. She’s all over the place with her wish list and if I give her what she’s asking for, it’ll cost a fortune.

I bet she’ll bail when she sees the prices.

“How do you know Jenna?” she asks.

“We were roommates in college.”

“Aww, that’s cool. She’s my cousin.”

Great. Now I feel obligated to give this girl what she wants, even if I don’t get paid for it. “Jenna’s amazing.”

“Yeah. She’s nutty, but we love her.”

“Well, if you think of anything else, just shoot me a text, okay?” I hate talking on the phone. “I’ll work my magic and have some options for you in a couple of weeks.”

“Wonderful. Thanks, Haley.” She hangs up.

I have no clue if I should kiss or kill Jenna for this.

Haley: Your cousin just called me.

Jenna: You’re welcome.

I roll my eyes and smile.

Haley: She’s got champagne wishes. Does she have a beer budget?

Jenna: Hell no. Her fiancé is stupid rich. He has more money than God.

That still doesn’t ease my biggest worry. Courtney couldn’t even decide a color scheme, aesthetic, or whether she wants it all outside. She just said, “I’ll know it when I see it.”

Those are the same people who tell servers to “surprise them” with a salad dressing because they can’t decide for themselves. Ugh.

Haley: Thanks for the chance, babe.

I’ll make it work. Bridezillas don’t scare me, and I have plenty in my arsenal of ideas to work with. I’m sure we can put Courtney’s dream wedding together in no time. And if she likes what I do, maybe she’ll tell her friends about me.

Jenna: I got you, girl!

Jenna: Have you seen Cole yet?

I’m not sure I should say.

Haley: Yes. I met with him today.

My phone rings immediately, and Jenna’s face pops up on the screen through FaceTime.

“Tell me everything.”

I lean back with a sigh. “It was…” Awkward, scary, amazing, hot, weird. “Not as awful as I feared.”

“Told you so.” Jenna laughs. “He’s still so hot, isn’t he?”

“Hotter than hot.”

Jenna kept up with Cole all this time. I used to get this horrible jealous feeling in my gut whenever I saw her like a post of his or make a comment, but it faded after she and I picked up our friendship again. It took Jenna a little over a year of texting me until I finally bit the bullet and continued our friendship. It wasn’t hard, but it also wasn’t easy. I had a lot to learn.

I’m so glad she was patient with me. I wouldn’t be the same without her. In fact, I can’t imagine my life without Jenna in it now. She’s my best friend.

“Did he rail you against his desk or what?”

“No.” I smack my head, laughing. “I wish though.”

“What did he do?”

“Well, for starters, he took one look at me and dropped his coffee all over the floor. Later we met at the office so I could show him the space and tell him my vision.”

“Ohhh, and how was that?”

“He brought me my favorite drink. Well, my old favorite drink.”

“That chai stuff?”

“Mmm hmm.” I sit forward. “And guess what? I’d brought him his favorite drink too.” Come to think of it, I wonder if he really still likes double iced mochas or if he just took it to be polite, like I took his.

“What happened next? Did you two bang against the window and make up for lost time?”

“No, perv.” I sit back with a sigh. “We kissed though.”

“Woo!” Jenna yells. “Was it hot? Tell me it was hot.”

“Scorching.”

“I fucking knew it! Cole’s coming in clutch.”

“Then we broke away and shit got super awkward again.”

“Well, what do you expect, babe? He probably doesn’t trust it.”

I cringe. She’s probably right. “I’m not giving up.”

“Atta girl.”

“He also just asked if I would plan his company’s holiday party.”

“Ohhh, that’s a good sign.”

“Is it?” I’m not sure.

“Fuck yeah! He’s going to spend more time with you this way.”

“No. There’s nothing for him to do. I’ll do it all. It’s why I get hired.”

“Make there be something for him to do, ya dumb bitch. God, Hales. You’re so smart and yet soooo….”

“Talented.”

“Oblivious.” Jenna tips her head. “Did he agree to design your office space, too?”

“Yes, but he was all business about it. Honestly, he went from blazing hot to freezing cold in a blink with me.”

“How’s it feel, babe?”

Ouch. “Horrible.”

“Well, now you know how he felt when you—”

“I know!” I yell a little too loudly. Tears burn my eyes and now I’m getting all sweaty. “I fucked up, Jenna.”

“Isn’t it great you’re getting a chance to unfuck it up now?”

I don’t feel good anymore. My stomach’s in knots. “What if he doesn’t want me back?”

“Then at least you’ll have your answer.”

Her statement reminds me of the kiss Cole and I shared earlier. “Do you have your answer now, Angel?”

“Anyways, have you watered your orchid today?”

“Yes,” I say with a grin. “I put two ice cubes on her before I left the house this morning.”

“Such a good girl.”

Jenna gave me a purple orchid for my birthday three years ago. According to her, it’s great practice at committing, without the burden of having to clean up after it. Orchids require patience, maintenance, and nurturing.

I suck at all three. At least I used to.

“She’s got six blooms on her this time.”

“Woo hoo!” Another phone rings in the background and Jenna gives me an uh oh, I gotta get back to work face. “Gotta run.”

“Okay. Hey, thanks for sending Courtney my way.”

“Anything for you, woman. You know I love you.”

“Love you too.”

We hang up, and impatience has me pulling up Cole’s text again.

Haley: Do you have dinner plans tonight?

I’m coming on too strong and I know it, but I can’t bring myself to care. I feel frenzied and scared and I just need a little flicker of fucking hope here, damnit.

Cole: Yes. Sorry.

My stomach drops. There goes that.

I can’t be upset about this. It isn’t fair. I’ve been MIA for a long time and to drop into his life and expect things to go right back to how they were is so immature and stupid of me. I should be grateful he’s seeing me at all. Part of me worried he was going to toss me out of his office this morning.

Haley: Np.

I set my phone on the coffee table and scrub my face. “Pull yourself together, Haley.”

I need to move slower. Let things evolve naturally. I can’t take this personally. He’s got a life here. I’m a burden. I’m the problem.

Stop. Part of my be-better journey is recognizing when I’m getting toxic—with myself and others. Letting my past influence my present is not allowed. Yes, he has a life here. No, I’m not a burden. I’m not a problem for him, I’m a hopeful possibility. And if he doesn’t want me, that’s okay. I’m only partially here for him. I’m also here for myself, damnit.

My cell dings again.

Cole: How about tomorrow instead?