Chapter 19

Gwen

Iwatched Static the next day, fully aware that I was happier than I”d been in a long time. He and the others were busy planning whatever they were about to do with those drugs. He pulled me aside this morning for a brief moment and explained again that they only brought that stuff here to help with what they were doing with Fremont. It was enough for me, that and the fact that they had them locked up so none of the kids accidentally found them. That was the last thing we needed. We”d taken our kids out of school during this time, claiming a vacation, and though the schools made us jump through hoops to approve their absences, ultimately we were all here at the clubhouse and safe. For now.

I did have to chuckle to myself, though. That I watched burley bikers carrying in loads of coke, and god knows what and casually store it away seemed so crazy. All while they were saying, ”Oh no, it”s not for us.” In what other world was that a normal and believable line? This was my life now. And yet, I wouldn”t trade it for anything.

Brushing my fingers over my lips, I smiled to myself. They were still tingling from the kiss Static had given me hours ago. The way he”d taken control felt good. Too good. Like a drug, and I”d become addicted at the first touch.

”You okay?” Jordan asked, bumping my shoulder.

”Never better.”

She paused, her eyes narrowing as she studied me. ”Something”s different,” she announced.

”Nope,” I said, ducking my head. I wanted to keep Static”s and my newly formed relationship a secret. Only for a few days. I wanted to hold it close and enjoy it. Then I”d tell my friends and answer all their questions. They were going to be thrilled that I took their advice. I had another appointment with Dr. Donaldson at the end of the week, too. I was hoping she could provide some valuable insight into how moving forward with this kind of a step would affect me.

I wasn”t lying when I told Static that this wasn”t going to be easy. Sleeping was difficult. If I managed to actually fall asleep, I usually woke up sweating, crying, or screaming. Sometimes all three. The slightest things still sent me into a panic attack, like last week when Static came home with blood on him. I was going to have to figure out how to not shut him out during those times. And he”d have to figure out how to deal with them, and me. It was going to be easier for him than me, I suspected. Somehow he just understood me. And it felt amazing to have another person get you in that way.

”...that okay?”

Staring at Jordan, I realized I missed everything she just said to me. ”I-I”m sorry-”

”Please,” she begged. ”We”ll have so much fun.” She gave me the puppy dog eyes that she knew worked whenever my son or daughter used them.

The only problem was, I didn”t know what she wanted. ”I didn”t hear you, Sweetie.”

She propped her hands on her hips. ”You were ignoring me?”

”Not ignoring,” I argued with a laugh. ”Lost in thought.”

Her eyes narrowed again, but a smile was on her lips. ”Something”s definitely going on.” I opened my mouth to deny it, but she waved one of her hands. ”It”s fine. I”m not going to pry.” She gave me an intense look. ”This time.”

”Miracles never cease,” I muttered.

Her mouth dropped open and we both started laughing. ”I asked,” she said, tone indignant, ”if I could take the kids for a sleepover?”

”You just had one last night,” I pointed out.

”No, you slept over, too. Well, until you snuck off to bed and left me on the couch,” she grumped.

I laughed. ”Sorry about that.”

”It”s fine. You know I can sleep anywhere.”

She really could. I found her asleep on her floor one morning. It scared the hell out of me at the time. I thought she was dead. She was sprawled out on her back. Turned out she”d just had a late night at work and had stretched out there while she”d been working on Haze”s new jesses, the little leather straps with bells for her hawk. One minute she was adjusting the bells, the next she just decided to stretch out. I wish I had even an ounce of Jordan”s ability to fall asleep quickly and deeply.

”If you”re sure?” I asked. The kids loved spending time with Jordan, and their uncle.

”I”m sure.” She gave me a hopeful look.

”Okay,” I said with a shrug.

”Yes!” she whooped as she bolted away from me, probably off to find the kids.

”I”ll get their stuff ready,” I said, mostly to myself, because she was already gone. The fact that this group of people loved my children so much brought tears to my eyes. It was never an obligatory, ”can we keep them for the night?”. They were always genuinely excited to spend time with my kids. With all the kids around here.

”What”re you doing?”

I jumped, my hand flying to my chest, as if that could keep my heart from bulldozing its way out of my chest.

”Sorry,” Static said with a chuckle, but he was eyeing me. It was that careful look he often wore whenever I was around.

The one I knew was just for me, because I needed the damn thing. He had to be careful in how he handled me. Oh, how I wished I could just shove all my issues into some deep dark hole and never let them out again. ”It”s okay,” I gasped. ”You just startled me.”

”Thought you heard me walk up.”

They did tend to stomp in those heavy military boots they liked to wear. ”I was just mentally cataloging what the kids will need for their sleepover with Jordan and Ricochet tonight.”

Slowly, one of Static”s eyebrows rose. ”They”re staying the night?”

”Yes.”

He crossed his arms over his chest and he gave me a devastating smile. The kind that could singe a girl”s panties at twenty paces. ”Then how about you and I have a sleepover, too?”

”Oh.” My mind went directly to, what if the kids needed me? But they wouldn”t. They did just fine with their uncle and aunt.

”Your pace, Sugar,” he reminded me. ”Nothing will happen that you don”t want, but I want to wake up with you in my arms again.”

My breath caught in my throat. All I could do was nod. It was impossible to resist this man. I wasn”t sure how I”d managed for so long, but now that we were trying this, I had a feeling I was going to be crashing through barriers faster than I ever believed possible.

”Good,” he rumbled. ”My place. I”ll order take out.”

A night off of cooking? That worked for me. ”Okay,” I told him with a smile.

He reached out slowly, grasping my chin and tilting my head to the angle he wanted it before he fit his lips to mine. He didn”t seem to care that we were in the middle of the clubhouse where anyone could see us. No one was around right now, other than Scarlett, who was at the bar. But she was busy looking everywhere but at us.

I couldn”t stop the sigh that escaped me. His kisses were so powerful and intoxicating. He ended the kiss before it could get too hot and heavy, leaving me aching for more.

”I”ve got to get back,” he said, nodding toward the back part of the club. ”But I”ll see you around five?”

Nodding, I watched him walk away. I let myself revel in the fact that I, Gwen Barrett, had a boyfriend again. I felt as giddy as a teenager. Sighing happily, I went upstairs to pack the essentials my children would need.

”This looks great,”I told Static as he set a plate of Chinese food down in front of me.

He gave me a crooked smile. ”Thanks, but your food is better.”

I laughed. ”My food is nowhere near the level of Chinese food,” I insisted, snagging up a piece of Sweet and Sour Pork with my fingers, then licking them clean. My kids weren”t here so I didn”t have to be careful about table manners. The silence went on too long and when I glanced up I found Static staring at me as though he were a starving man and I was the only nourishment he”d seen in a long time. Blushing, I tried to remember the last time someone looked at me like that. I tilted my head.

”What?”

”Huh?” I asked as he sat next to me.

”You look...surprised.” He twirled noodles on his fork and shoved a massive bite into his mouth.

”Oh, it”s nothing.” I looked surprised because I realized the answer was no one. Not once in my life, before Static, had a man looked at me that way. Sure, there”d been desire. But not that all-encompassing need.

”If you”re not going to tell me about it, store it away, Sugar,” he suggested. He flashed me a smile. ”I want to spend some time with my girl.”

I set my fork down, fully aware that he frowned when I did, but it didn”t derail my new train of thought. ”Is this weird for you?” I asked. Hesitating, I wondered how much to admit. Then I figured part of this was to get to know one another on a new level. How could we do that if we didn”t open up? ”Because, I...sort of started liking you a while ago,” I admitted. ”But then I thought there”s no way that this,” I motioned between him and I, ”would ever happen. So I ignored it. And sometimes had to mentally berate myself for thinking about you too much.” I laughed and saw that there was amusement on his face as well.

”No, Gwen. It”s not weird.” He grinned at me. ”All the guys have been waiting for this to happen. They knew it was only a matter of time.”

My eyes widened. ”They did?”

”Yeah. Guess I didn”t hide the fact that I...liked...you very well either.”

There was that heated stare again. I knew for a fact that even though Static had straight up told me he wanted to sleep with me, that wasn”t all he wanted. One, he”d given me the commitment I requested, which is a huge clue. But even before that, the girls also knew he liked me. And now I was finding out the men knew, too. But it was the way he had always interacted with me. After my divorce, I”d gone on a few short, and thoroughly awful dates. Once they found out I was a single mom they split so fast my head had nearly spun. And one man”s idea of a date was to insult me the entire time, thinking that was somehow going to get him laid.

After that, I just decided to focus on my kids and myself. I never got the chance to try again. Never really wanted to. And then Static showed up in my life.

We were quietly eating and I marveled, as I usually did, at how much he could pack away and still remain so fit and strong. Sean was like a mini black hole, so I knew it was a male thing, but I usually had to double the portion sizes on the nights when I invited Static over for dinner. That had happened a lot over the last six months. Once I started coming out of my shell I began feeding him as a thank you for helping me with things. Or so I told myself. Really, I just wanted to be around him. He made me feel whole again. As much as another person could anyway.

He shoved his empty plate away and sat back against the couch, watching me. ”You want to watch a movie?”

”Sure,” I said, covering my mouth since it was full.

He grinned. ”You would have reprimanded Sean for that,” he teased.

The things he picked up on. He was so observant. ”I”m an adult,” I said, voice prim and proper. ”If I want to speak with my mouth full I can. But I have to teach him basic manners before he decides to break them.”

He reached out and tugged on my hair before he picked up the remote from the table. ”What are you in the mood for?”

”Whatever you want.” His eyes bored into the side of my face, and I looked over at him.

”No. Your choice.” The teasing tone was gone. He was watching me with a serious expression now.

I swallowed my bite and nodded. Too many times, I”d done whatever Trent wanted because it kept the peace. Static didn”t know about that, at least not specifics, but deep down, he did. He was setting a boundary right now. I didn”t get to do that with him. ”I”d love to watch a rom com.”

”Rom com it is.”

Muscles I didn”t even know were tense, loosened at his easy answer. It wasn”t fair to him that he had to deal with the fallout of a bad marriage, and subsequently what happened after that, but I had warned him I wouldn”t be the easiest woman to date. Yet there he was, studying each movie description as though he didn”t have a care in the world that he was about to watch a chick flick.

I pushed my plate away and caught him side-eyeing it. ”What?” I asked.

He looked over at me. ”You don”t eat enough.”

My mouth dropped open. That was definitely true after the attack, but I was getting better. ”I”m full,” I told him.

”That”s not enough to keep a bird alive,” he argued.

”Static. I ate plenty.” I wasn”t a tiny stick of a woman. I had a healthy frame, and though I lost some weight after the attack, I”d put it back on again.

”Okay,” he replied with a nod. ”What about this one?” he asked, pointing with the remote to the screen.

”Die Hard?”

”Yeah, it”s both a Christmas movie and a rom com.”

”Not even close!” I couldn”t help but smile from ear to ear, though.

”Fine…” He kept scrolling, watching my face until I agreed to a real rom com.

We were only about five minutes into the movie when muscled arms snaked around my body and lifted me. I gasped, but he deposited me into his lap too quickly for me to argue about him picking me up.

”That”s better,” he declared, looking down at me.

I didn”t bother to argue because it was so nice to be held. I made myself comfortable and laid my head on his shoulder. This was something else we”d done before, so it wasn”t as nerve wracking. Granted I”d never snuggled up in his lap before, but often I”d press against his side and he”d wrap an arm around my shoulders. Now that I looked back over our time together, I was able to pick up on how we were acting together and see that we both were very into each other. It made me smile. I was comfortable with him in a way that I wasn”t with many others.

His large hand was on my thigh and the further the movie played, the less I was paying attention to what was happening on screen. I swallowed as he started sliding it up and down my leg, only a few inches up, then down again. It was distracting. Which was probably why he was doing it. I snuck a peek up at his face, but his eyes were glued to the screen.

I”d almost broken my rule with him the other day. After he found me with David and lost his temper, I”d thrown all caution to the wind. It would have given me a temporary satisfaction, but I was glad Dani had interrupted, though I didn”t like that my babies had been sick. Her call had kept me from rushing into something with him and then agonizing over where we stood. Instead, I”d gotten that part, and my expectations out of the way to begin with, before it all got messy with sex.

My nipples tightened, both from his movements and thinking about sex with him. I was desperate to be touched, but also a little afraid he”d make a wrong move and send me into a panic attack. But every time he touched me, he woke my body up and made me want to arch into him like a cat.

”Any reason you”re breathing heavy, Baby Girl?” he rumbled in my ear.

”No,” I snapped back, too quickly. His chuckle vibrated through my whole body.

”You sure?”

I folded my arms over my chest to hide my stiff, aching nipples. ”Yup.”

”Hmmm, alright.” His hand slid a little higher up my thigh on the next pass. His lips brushed my ear. ”Do you want to tell me what you want, Sugar?”

No. No way was I comfortable enough to explain to this sexy man how I wanted him to touch me. Or what it would do to me. No, thank you.

”Or,” he added, ”I could do what I want to you. And you can tell me when you need me to stop.”

Sweet baby Jesus.