Chapter 12

Chapter

Twelve

T he weeks seem to blur, and I'm thankful for a bit of normality when it's always been rare for me. Even if normal means dealing with my rejected mates on a daily basis and the bear that sleeps on the floor in my room every night. I hate every lesson with Hollis. He picks on me and makes sure to embarrass me in front of my class at every chance he gets. If he isn't harassing me in lessons, he is making out with Rochelle instead while I work out nearby. But that's the only time I have to see him, so I count myself as lucky.

Rhodes's lessons are always informative, and I feel like I'm learning a lot of new skills, though it's hard to hide the fact that I know most of the training he's teaching. I make sure to fail at least fifty per cent of his instruction so he doesn't notice the truth. Alek's lessons are on and off. He turns up to some of them. In others, he just leaves us alone to train with our Nex weapons. Other ranger trainees blame me for his disappearing acts and how he isn't interested in training the class at all.

I haven't seen Finn or Onyx in weeks, and I'm glad for it, even if my Nexus is not. She wants to see them…immediately. There haven't been any rumours of Onyx's engagement, and part of me hopes that means he said no to his father even when I couldn't promise him anything.

There's only been two students who have left the academy, one for unknown reasons. He was a shy boy, so maybe he just wasn't up to it. The other left because he broke every bone in his body by accident, and it freaked him out so much he begged to leave, or he'd cry all day.

I find myself looking forward to going to the shelter with Rhodes the most. I get to look after the animals, specifically the cats in the cafe where I mostly work. I also get to see the pups and have cuddles. The white one has gotten big and chubby now, with thick fur, and a home is already waiting. The golden one, since the mother passed away, she's not growing very well or thriving. Helen, a fellow worker, whispered to me that Rhodes specifically spends a lot of time hand feeding the golden one himself. She's still limping around, and she is quite weak. No one has offered to adopt her yet, and she doesn't even have a name.

Annie clears her throat and I shake my head. "I'm off to the funeral. I did ask if you could come, but with lockdowns and everything, dad said no."

I don't want to attend the funeral of the Nexus I killed, anyway. Annie is in an all-black dress with a fancy hat. "That's okay. Give Sara a hug from me."

We both smile at each other. This is a day of celebration for Sara, and only we three know it. I'm sure she will pretend well enough to be sad in front of the funeral, though. Annie already told me she is like a changed woman behind closed doors. "I will. I would have pushed my dad more on the funeral, but I am already pushing it with begging him to let you come to the game. I did ask about Harry, Mac and his wife for you. They have an apartment, and Harry has joined the college. They are okay."

"I'm grateful for your help," I remind her. They are okay, and as long as I don't get caught, they still will be. "I'm going to go to Alek's lesson, and I'll see you afterwards?"

Annie pauses in the open doorway and really looks at me, searches for my Nexus in a way that only another Nexus can do. Her eyes slip into her own Nexus, a brilliant white colour before fading back to usual. "My Nexus wants me to bow to you. Why is that? Why…" She pauses. "Some might call Ian's death an act of revenge by a hero."

"Heroes aren't monsters."

She shrugs a shoulder. "Maybe the best ones are."

Annie is wrong. They can't be. I'm no hero and my Nexus certainly is not. I feel myself paling as Annie leaves, and I make myself leave next, shutting the door behind me. I follow behind a group, through to the gymnasium. Alek is in a bad mood. I can tell from the minute I walk in, like his mood is part of me. Usually, he waits for all of us to warm up before he starts barking at us to go and run. This morning, we don't get time to stretch. Everyone in my class is smart enough to go straight outside and start running laps around the castle on the track. We end up running ten laps until every bit of my body is burning and rain has soaked my clothes to my skin. I squeeze my hair out as I breathlessly sit on the floor of the gymnasium with everyone else.

"You're slow." Alek's disappointing voice echoes. "I've been discussing your year with the other tutors, and we all agree you are probably the slowest class we've had. We are going to change up our lessons earlier than planned." He looks right at me for a second. "Tomorrow you'll be working on your Nexus powers with me. We'll be connecting to your Nexus in here, and hopefully, the Nexus in your chests are stronger. It's been six weeks since you've come to the academy; therefore, most of you are caught up and have made a good enough bond with your Nex weapon of choice. Today, we will focus on your bond to your Nexus and make your Nexus aware that it needs to be coming out in our next lesson."

Fuck. Alek calls someone from the crowd forward, and I'm sweating for another reason completely. I can't let my Nexus out here. The guy is ginger and thin, but under Alek's command, he quickly shifts into a soft-looking fox with a bushy tail. Alek shakes his head at the fox. I always like seeing the shifts that aren't the Gods' forms. I think the cutest one I've seen is a penguin. "I want your power, not your shift. Turn back, Howard."

Poor Howard looks paler when he shifts back. He is fully clothed so at least he can control that part of his Nexus shift and we don't have to see his junk. Alek taps his foot, waiting. Howard looks around and then leans in, but his voice still echoes. "My power is phasing… I need…"

Alek makes a crossbow appear in his hand, and he shoots Howard five times in quick succession. The arrows simply go through Howard like he isn't there. Alek looks pleased. "Brilliant gift and very useful. Sit down." He points at another guy in the crowd. "You. Next."

Howard comes and sits by me as Alek tests the next guy. I lean in. "Phasing is super cool. I heard when you get powerful enough, you can slip through gaps in time and go into the past for a second or two."

His gaze shoots to mine, his face covered in freckles. "Thanks. You're Gwen?" I nod. "Phasing has been in my family for years, and my grandfather could time phase both back and forward in time. He was the last one to do it."

"Until you." I wink.

His shoulders move as he silently laughs, and Alek's shout makes me jump. "Gwen, up here."

Howard flashes me a reassuring smile that does nothing to make this easier. I can show him the disappearing-blending power he already knows about because of Onyx. Alek waits until I'm right in front of him and cocks his head. "I know your one power, and I don't need to see it again."

"Again? You weren't there."

"I saw the footage," he explains and crosses his thick arms. "Dreamwalkers have been known to be powerful enough to day dreamwalk too. Finnegan told me you've been in his head, so you can day dreamwalk too. Get in my head."

"I—I can't control it," I whisper, hating that everyone is watching.

"Yes, you can. Get into my head, or we both will stand here all fucking day." He opens his arms. "You need to remember, and the only way you're doing that is by getting into my mind."

Frustrated, I swing my arms out. "My Nexus doesn't work with me, so I can't do that."

"Then let her out." He moves closer, and I breathe in his scent. It's addicting. "It's about time you stop hiding her away from us. Unless you fear that she's going to suddenly come running to us and we're going to be mated when you open your eyes."

It is a worry of mine, but not for the reasons he is thinking. "She isn't any more interested than I am."

His laugh wraps around my throat as he lowers his voice, only inches away from me. "It didn't feel that way when I was kissing you, little liar."

A few people awkwardly cough, and I take a step back, just remembering that they are here. Sometimes when I'm with my mates, I forget there is a world outside of us. Alek grits his teeth. "You're failing this class until you get into my head and tell me what you forgot. Get out!"

I don't need to be given a chance to run away more than once. "With pleasure."

His very bear-like growl haunts me as I leave the gymnasium, and I don't stop walking. I don't know where I'm going, and I don't want to go back to my room to be alone for hours. As I come out of the corridor, I feel Finn nearby. I feel the pull to him stronger than the others now because of my Nexus' intense crush, and my feet move of their own accord to a room. It's one of those doors with a glass square in the middle, and I lean up to look in. Finn is holding a dark-haired woman in his arms. His arms are fully wrapped around her and hers around his waist as they embrace. My heart pounds within my chest. Not him.

My Nexus…she loses it. My Nexus starts buzzing, actually buzzing, and mist starts coating my hands like it's trying to make me shift. No, no, no, no, no. I start running. I run outside, seeing Onyx's boring car parked up outside, and the door has been left open. Something crazy enters my mind as I slip into the driver's seat, finding the key is still in the ignition because he's cocky enough not to care. I don't even think about it as I use this new plan to distract my Nexus from Finn. I use my powers to make me look like Onyx as I get to the gates. They open it for Onyx without even talking to me and let me out while I look just like him.

It's too easy. I drive aimlessly through the city for an hour before my wrists begin to burn. The rune being used. He's probably worked out I've stolen his car and left now, so he called his dad to find me, but I don't even care. I don't know where I'm driving until I randomly stop the car and slam my hands on the wheel. I'm definitely getting locked up by Onyx for this. It's already night out, and I think I'm on the side of the city opposite to the academy.

I lean my head against the wheel. Stupid, stupid. I should drive back, but I don't trust my Nexus to be around Finn when she is a jealous, possessive mess. She's not happy, and she wants control. "Please stop," I whisper, digging my fingers into my forehead. "Please, just stop. My life is a ruin because of you already, and I need you to stop."

My Nexus sinks away until I can finally breathe. Warm green light shines over me when I lift my head, and I turn to see I'm parked right outside a pub. There's a sign above it, all lit up in green, and people are passing in and out the front door. Alcohol and a busy pub sound like a superb idea until they find me. I just need some money. Onyx has cash hidden in his glove compartment, and I make a mental note to repay him later.

I head inside and go straight up to the bar, and no one so much as even looks at me. It's kind of relieving. I order myself a double vodka with lemonade, one of my favourites. The old bartender barely even blinks before bringing me the drink over with a sunny little umbrella in it. I down the first one before asking for another, then another, just to drown my wolf out. I learnt at sixteen that getting drunk is a great way to make sure she doesn't take over.

A handsome thirty-year-old-at-least slides into the seat next to me. "You're new. Got a mate?"

I look him up and down. "Nope. I have five and they'd probably kill you for even talking to me."

He leans in. "But you're not mated to them, so I won't tell if you don't. You're too gorgeous to sit here alone. Let me buy you a drink."

"Go on then. What's your name?"

"Jake." He grins.

I almost want to roll my eyes. The creepy guys are always called Jake. He looks like a Jake too. He is so normal. "So, Jake, do you have a mate?"

"Nope, I'm one of the single guys here in the city. A mate sounds tiring," he admits before buying me a drink and one for himself. We drink in silence for a second, and his face keeps spinning a little. I'm not drunk enough yet though for my Nexus to not send her feelings of disgust over Jake to me. Jake is unaware of my internal battle as he smiles at me, and he puts his hand on my knee. So much disgust comes from my Nexus that I almost feel like throwing up all over poor Jake.

My Nexus would like that.

I tug his hand off me. "I'm sorry. My Nexus is being a bitch and doesn't like you." I climb out of my seat and shake my head. "I have to drive back, so bye."

"Wait, you can't drive like this!" Jake calls after me and follows me out. When I get to the car, he tugs my keys out of my hands. "I'll drive you back to wherever you want to go. My uncle died in a drunk crash."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I mutter, rubbing my forehead. "I'm not?—"

Jake helps me into the car before going to the driver's seat and starting up the car. "It's okay. I was trying my luck anyway with you. Let's get you home and safe."

I barely clip the seatbelt in before something hits the car, and it flips up into the air. I scream as the seatbelt pulls tight against my chest and the airbag bursts open in front of me. The car slams down before skidding across the ground, glass spraying into my face. I keep screaming and look to Jake, but he didn't have his seatbelt on, and he isn't there. Just blood marks the window. I reach for my Nexus, but I find nothing. No connection at all.

Just silence. What the fuck?

The smell of smoke from the car fills my senses, along with the metallic tang of my blood from my arm, which has glass in it. I look through the window gap to see a man walking towards me in a dark cloak. Shit. The door doesn't open, too crushed, and I leave it. I undo my seatbelt and climb out of the empty window frame, cutting my hand, but I don't dare stop to look back.

I run past what is left of Jake on the road, his head at a strange angle. Tears fill my eyes. His death is my fault. He was trying to help me. Whoever that is, is being sent for me, and I don't have my Nexus. I reach for my powers, but they are gone, too.

I run. I tap the rune on my wrist and shout for anyone, but the street is silent. I keep running down the street, down to an alleyway, and decide to hide in it behind a pile of boxes. Finnegan, sometimes Finnegan can hear me. I scream for him. I scream for him in my mind. Hoping that somehow dreamwalking in the day is even a possibility, like Alek was sure it was. Finn said he can hear me sometimes, even if he is my enemy. Even if he hates me. "Help me…please."

I'm thrown into the air, the boxes crashing around me as I slam onto my back, screaming in pain as his power crushes my body. The cloaked man throws the hood back, revealing all of his bald head and markings. I know him. He is a Vian, and I know I won't ever forget how he can dull a connection to powers and Nexus. A rare Nexus gift he stole and made himself invaluable to the Vian. It was risky for him to come for me. "I can finally get your power. It's been a long time coming."

"Lay a single finger on her," a dark voice warns, "and you will know pain like no other. I will enjoy every single scream of yours."

The man disappears like smoke, knowing he wouldn't win against Finnegan. Finn stalks down the alleyway, leaning down and picking me up in his thick arms. I don't know what to say to him. "You came for me."

He glares. "You asked for help. It was you. Of course I'd be here." Finnegan lifts me closer. Why does he make my heart race? It . Was . You . He came for me and helped me when I've never had anyone do that for me before. Even with my parents, they would have left me if it risked their lives. Maybe not my father, but my mother would have without another thought. "You're injured and you're fucking lucky I was dropping my sister back to the city this evening, so I was close."

His sister? The woman from earlier was his sister .

Thankfully, I pass out before Finn can see how happy my Nexus is that the mate she is lovingly obsessed with came to our rescue and doesn't have another woman she needs to kill. Crazy Nexus bonds.