Chapter 13

Chapter

Thirteen

A lek hates me now and I don't know why it bothers me far more than any of the others hating me. He's still permanently banning me from his lessons, which means I'm failing at the academy, which means Tutor Jettie looks close to tugging her hair out every time she sees me wandering about. Apparently, she won't argue with Alek on my behalf, but after one conversation with her, I learnt I can't be kicked out for attempting to turn up for my classes. It's a loophole for the academy, and Alek is playing the game perfectly to piss me off. Tutor Jettie has been adding more personal history lessons whilst she sends other tutors to try and convince Alek to have me back. He did come to check on me after the attack—they all did, except for Hollis. Onyx wasn't even mad that his pretty, boring car was trashed or that I broke a shit ton of the academy rules. He says he's just getting another car, and he spoke to Finn's dad, who is just happy his son's mate isn't dead. I'm sure Onyx's new car will be black and boring too.

"You look lost in thoughts this morning."

I lift my head and look at Annie, who is watching me with a soft expression. Her hair is up in a ponytail, the end resting on her right shoulder. "Wanna talk about it?"

It's an offer, wrapped in friendship, and I should take it with open arms. I can't fully let anyone in though. Not even someone as kind and sweet as Annie. "I was just thinking about that attack." I admit to her a little of my thoughts but not the burning guilt over Jake's death. He was a dad to a two-year-old and lost his wife the year before. I read the funeral listing when Annie gave it to me and suggested I could get special permission to attend if I wanted. I didn't go. I haven't slept well since that attack, since seeing that fucker in Starlight City. How are the Vian getting in here? It's meant to be safe from all monsters except for me. "Sleeping has been on and off. Last night wasn't good."

Her forehead crinkles. "I never sleep well either, thanks to, you know, your mate in our room snoring every night." She shudders. "He also fills the room with a minty smell, and every time I see my mate at the weekends, he gets all jealous of the bear's scent on me." Her cheeks turn pink. "Truthfully, it leads to the best possessive sex, though."

I grin at her. "I'll tell Finn he is aiding your sex life. He will love that."

Her eyes widen in horror, even when both of us know I'm joking. "Do not even think about it, Gwenieve."

"My full first name, you must be mad," I tease. "Anyway, if you manage to figure out a way to get his bear to stay out, then I'd be all about it."

She laughs. "If my mate had his way, he'd be sleeping right now on the floor next to Finn to watch me. It's a bear thing."

"You should invite him. We could record them both spooning for Finn blackmail!"

We both burst into laughter just imagining it. Our laughs are stopped short though when Hollis walks in, blaring that stupid alarm. No one throws up or ducks, and only some guys cover their ears now. It's been two months since we got started at the academy, and they are used to it.

Hollis turns it off and looks around, pointedly not glancing at me for more than a second. "Good, you're getting better," he drawls, looking to his right. "You still look pale, Axe." Axe drops his head and Hollis smirks. "The lesson begins now."

We all follow him out, knowing better than to make him wait for even a minute with his short temper. The class quickly goes about stretching and warming up before running laps and going back to the training pit. My stomach is toner than it's ever been, thanks to the running and training every single day. I've been training for years on the run, but that training was more for my magic than it was for my body. I learnt how to be quick so I could run and how to fight someone off in close combat, but now I've learnt how rangers hone their skills and how to work as a group.

As usual, I expect Hollis to start calling us to gather around the training ring by the cliff side. I don't bother walking too much closer because he never shouts at me until last. He makes a show of pointing out that I must not be watching anybody else fight when he easily beats me. I remind myself over and over—a monster deserves this. I deserve this.

I'm surprised to see the training ring isn't empty at all. Finnegan and Onyx are in the middle of it, talking between themselves. Whispers burst out and several people look my way, wondering if they're here for me. Spoiler, they won't be here to see me when Onyx is mad at me, and Finnegan has hated me since the beginning. Annie walks to my side, stopping close and brushing her arm against mine in comfort. "Did you know they were coming?"

"No," I whisper back. I would have warned her and then possibly gone as far as eating rotten food to make myself sick to avoid this class. Hollis moves to stand at their sides and claps his hands once. The silence that rings back is swift.

He may be an asshole, but most of the class admires him, and it's got everything to do with how well he teaches them when he actually gives a shit. I just get the torment because of our bond. "You've got a special lesson today, class. These are some of the academy's best trained rangers, and both of them broke records in combat and skills in their time here." Of course my arrogant mates did. "My two brothers are here, and I won't bother introducing them because you know their names. They both volunteered to show you what you will fight like at the end of this academy and score a personal indifference between them." What personal indifference? "I want you to pick your winner and stand on the right or left. Right side for Onyx and left for Finnegan."

The crowd splits up pretty quickly, but I don't move from the middle, and neither does Annie. I'm not choosing or betting. I don't want to see them fight either, but with no one else in front of me now, I have a perfect view. Finnegan and Onyx look right at me for a second before they shift their gazes to each other. Hollis scoffs. "Ignore her. I'm surprised she isn't running away already. Her tan is letting up."

I have to bite down so hard on my tongue to stop myself from throwing insults back. I've learnt Hollis likes it when I insult him. The sadist bastard. Onyx and Finnegan seem content to ignore me, like Hollis suggested, and Onyx draws out his Nex weapon. I've never seen it before. It's almost like a curved axe, but all of it is made of gold metal, and it's double sided. There's a handle right in the middle where Onyx holds it and braces himself.

Finnegan owns a beautiful sword as his Nex weapon. It's all black, matching the dark shades of his hair, with stars drawn all the way down to the hilt from the tip. Each star is glowing a beautiful silver colour, a contrast to the yellow glow of Onyx's axe. They're both in loose dark joggers and a dark vest, showing off their muscular arms and toned bodies. They remind me of a fireman calendar that hung on the walls of one of the hostels we lived in for six months. It only had one page left, just December, and it was the only decor on the wall.

This is going to be enjoyable to watch at least. I feel eyes on me, and I turn to the right to see Rochelle standing by the group, her arms crossed and a hostile look in her eyes. My Nexus riles in my chest and sends images of Rochelle ripped to pieces into my mind. Fucking hell. I drag my eyes away and push my Nexus down with a thud. We can't murder her! Hollis goes over to Rochelle with all smiles, which doesn't help my Nexus situation, but I roll my eyes instead and look forward. He. Is. Not. Mine.

Finnegan and Onyx wait for Hollis to blow a whistle before they attack. It is like watching two storms out at sea, crashing straight into each other, and the rumble can be felt for miles. Finn is good and impressive, but so is Onyx. Whereas Finnegan is a bigger guy and taller, Onyx uses the fact he is quicker to his advantage. The clang of their Nex weapons rings in my ears as they slam into each other and neither one of them moves. Finnegan smiles like a mad man enjoying the best meal of his life, and Onyx looks determined. Onyx blocks effortlessly and my eyes widen in surprise. I knew they were seasoned rangers and they were going to be good in a fight, but the way they move is something else altogether.

Finnegan lets Onyx attack, blocking some and mostly taking every hit, every blow, but I can see how he is still in control. I can barely keep track of who is winning. After a while, they both dominate the area like Gods. The groups on either side are cheering loud enough for all of Starlight to hear, but I can't peel my eyes from the battle. Annie touches my arm. "They make us look like toddlers fighting with sticks."

I don't disagree with her. I completely get why they think we are funny now. I've only seen one person fight like they do—my father. I thought he was a legend, and it's clear he learnt from the academy. Coming here might have been my secret way to be like him. I always wanted to be able to fight like he did, but he told me once that the only way to fully be at the top of your strength is to be fully connected with your Nexus. Working together in every move, every decision, until you are completely one. For me, that will never happen.

She is a live wire, and I'm the bucket of sand putting her out. The chants from the crowds are deafening as Finnegan and Onyx get sweaty and even more delicious. My Nexus watches from my one eye, and she is loving this as much as I am. Finn manages to elbow Onyx in the stomach before grabbing his arm and flipping him over his shoulder. I wince as Onyx slams straight on the floor, and I think it's over, but it's not. He uses his Nex axe to push himself up in one fluid movement and swings it round, launching the axe straight at Finn's throat. Finn smirks and holds his one hand up.

Cheers ring out from the group on Onyx's side, and Hollis is clapping loudly as he walks to them. "And we have a winner. Nice move, Onyx."

"Thanks." Onyx wipes the sweat off his forehead with the back of his hand.

"The winners of the bet are free to do what they want today," Hollis states, followed by more cheers. "As for the losers, people are needed to decorate the academy for Halloween tomorrow. Head to Tutor Jettie and offer your help for the day. I'll be checking in."

Groans and grumbles echo from Finnegan's side before everyone starts to walk away. Annie and I look at each other, but I speak first. "We didn't lose, so technically we are free. Dickhead doesn't seem to be bothering with us, so I'm taking the day."

Annie looks at Hollis once and then grins. "Perfect, Kos is coming later tonight to pick me up for a few hours. We are trying a new restaurant."

"I'm jealous." I bump her shoulder. "How is it Halloween already?"

Her eyes brighten with excitement. "Halloween is fun for us though. Our Nexus love it. Also, have you forgotten the game is on Halloween? So tomorrow? It will be themed, and it will be really cool. I bought you an outfit to wear. Please don't get mad at me. People dress up for the game; it's not… Well, people just do, and I thought you might want Rhodes's team symbol to show support."

"I almost forgot, to be honest, but I'm excited. Thank you for buying me something, and I'm repaying you," I firmly tell her. She shrugs and I know she won't accept any money from me. She is just as stubborn as I am. Onyx's laughter drifts over, and I'm drawn to him, to the comforting sound. "You get going, I'm just gonna go over to wish Onyx good luck and then head for a walk."

She hugs me briefly before walking off, and I head to the group. Finnegan watches me as he rubs a towel across his sweaty face, and Onyx looks wary as I approach. I should be happy about their reactions to me, but it sinks my heart like a rock. Hollis looks at me like I'm a bug trying to climb onto the picnic blanket to steal some bread. "What the fuck are you still doing here?"

Onyx's voice is low. "Don't speak to her like that, Hollis."

He glares at me, and I sneer right back at the asshole. I turn to Onyx. "I just wanted to wish you good luck for the game tomorrow. I probably won't see you before. That was it."

Onyx looks surprised and inclines his head. "Thank you, Gwenieve. It will be good to know you're out there."

It's so cold between us now, so fractured, and I did the task my parents trained me to do. Break them, hate them, and never let my mates close. Hollis scoffs. "Piss off, then."

Finnegan growls and moves between Hollis and me. "Fucking enough, Hol. You shouldn't speak to any woman like that."

"Like I give a shit what you think, either of you. I'm not playing by your rules or respecting her." He doesn't engage with Finn, choosing to just leave, but Finnegan grabs his arm, and Hollis turns. "Get the fuck off me, Finny boy, or we will have a problem."

Finn shows all his teeth when he smiles. "Is that a challenge?" He lets Hollis go and Hollis stands his ground. I don't think I could cope with them fighting. It would be like watching two pieces of my soul tear each other apart.

We are all distracted as Rochelle slithers up to Hollis's side and wraps her body around him. He kisses the side of her neck, and my Nexus pushes to the surface. My hands shake as I watch them both, unable to look away. "Hey, babe, are we leaving? We have that dinner with my parents tonight."

"Of course," Hollis agrees, like a fucking puppy. "I love you. Where else would I be?"

Love? "You can never love someone who doesn't properly belong to you. Your Nexus belongs to me, and our souls are fused in every lifetime. We are destined and she is fated to die."

My eyes widen as I grapple for control over my Nexus and push her right the fuck down. Hollis is angry, Finn has his eyebrows raised, and Onyx looks ready to jump to my rescue. Rochelle's cheeks are brightened, and she looks like she is going to cry.

Onyx immediately steps in between Hollis and me. "That's enough from both of you. You are hot-headed," he says to Hollis before pointing to me, "and that was her Nexus speaking. We both know Nexus can be strange and come out with weird shit."

I quickly leave before I get myself in any more trouble, and mentally curse my Nexus for being a total possessive weirdo. She basically claimed Hollis and threatened Rochelle with death in the space of one creepy sentence. We don't want the asshole one, Nexus! I know she doesn't agree; if anything, she sees him as the ultimate challenge. Hollis is going to make my life even worse in his next lesson thanks to this. My Nexus never thinks about the consequences. Oh no, she is happy for me to deal with them.

Classes are changing and it's packed going into the academy, so I take the path around the castle to the back instead, in the opposite direction to everyone else. I'd rather be alone. I go to the back of the castle and find a pair of stairs leading down the cliff side where there's a big space of flat rock near the coastline. I don't like the sea all that much, but there aren't many places that are empty and big enough to train alone at this time of day. I walk to the edge and look over at the sea. It's quiet today, but the ledge is so low down that the waves crash around the edges, sometimes brushing onto the edge of the platform. The sea is still deathly beautiful.

"Do you know this is the place that one of our famous ancestors sacrificed his life to the sea?" I spin round to find Hollis behind me, casually leaning on the rock wall. He begins to walk right to me, and he is furious. "My plans are cancelled now you've gone and fucked with my girlfriend's head. I really, really want to thank you."

His sarcasm just scares me. "No need."

"I've come to teach you something." He is getting closer.

My heart is racing so loud that it drowns out the sea. "Oh yeah, like what?"

He smirks and undoes his jacket, dropping it onto the flat rock. His muscles flex in his shirt as he looks right at me. "Stop me." I can't. He crashes into me like a bull, pushing me onto the floor, and my head smacks on the stone with a thud. I see stars as his hands grab both of mine and shove them above my head, arching my back with his weight as he presses into me. "For years, I dreamt of killing you for what you did to me and Rhodes and the consequences. It made Rhodes strong, but it turned me into a monster."

I flinch at the word monster . He hasn't got a clue who the real monster between us is. He holds me right on the edge, my head almost slipping off into the sea. Water sprays over my face with every wave crashing onto the shore. He leans right down, his lips inches from my throat. "I am never going to be yours. I don't want you, or this bond, or anything to do with you."

"You're the one following me, not the other way round." Stupid to rile him up, but I know as well as he does that he won't try to really kill me. His body is perfectly aligned with mine, and now I swear I see his Nexus fighting and clawing its way to the surface just as much as mine is. We're both fighting a losing battle here, and being away from him is the only way that I can manage to keep my Nexus away.

He laughs into my face, and bleak, cold green shines bright in his eyes. "That's not true, is it? You want power and you plan to collect us, but you won't get me. I want to be with her."

"Keep saying it and one day it might become true," I whisper. "Either way, I will never want you back. Never, Hollis. It's not like I don't have my pick of mates if I decide I want one."

"You're cruel and heartless, Gwenieve, and in a different world, I'd think we are the same." He grips my hands tighter. "Do you know what happened to Rochelle? Why being a bitch to her is just cruel?"

"No," I snap. She isn't a nice person, and nothing he?—

"Her mate died just after they were bonded. It destroyed her." My eyes soften but Hollis's harden instead. I've heard there is no worse pain than losing a mate. Even though I rejected mine, watching any of them die would break me into a million pieces. "And you go spouting off about how mates can only belong to each other in front of her. She is crying because of you."

"It's—" Water sprays into my face right before a big wave crashes over me, and sea water makes me choke. I'm thrown straight back into the past, unable to stop myself as the memories flood me, just like they did back then. The last time I was held under water before my parents' death, and it was one of the worst.

My mum claps my back. "You lasted seven minutes this time. Fantastic, but your Nexus needs to be better."

I shiver, freezing cold on the edge of the pool as I suck in the air to breathe and shake from head to toe. "She's had enough," my father's soft words echo. The pool is better than the sea or the river we usually use, but I wish the training would stop.

"No, she hasn't. I need to test her magic, or she might as well be given as a gift to the Nexus when they figure out what she is. She cannot be weak or afraid," my mother demands. I know why we have to do this, but I hate it. The water scares me now. "Alright, throw more fish in the water, and I'll throw her in."

Fear locks my muscles up, and I cling to the edge of the pool. "P-please, p-lease s-stop," I beg my mother, over and over, but she ignores me. My mother never listens. She effortlessly pushes me off the edge of the pool, and I can't fight her with how weak I feel after hours of this.

For a second, I open my eyes under the water as I sink down, and I'm surrounded by colourful fish. They are so beautiful and I'm going to kill them all. I try to swim to the top, but the weights wrapped around my ankles hold me down as they thud to the bottom of the pool. I gasp, water flooding into my lungs as I drown again, for the tenth time just this night. Everything dies around me, and it takes seven minutes before I breathe again.

The memory fades but not the fear that makes my Nexus hide and my body lock up as I scream and try to break free of Hollis. He lets me go.

"What's wrong with you? Stop freaking out!" Hollis demands, but there is an inch of worry in his voice that makes me wonder how bad I look. When I finally stop screaming, he steps away from me, letting me go so I can wrap my arms around my neck and start rocking back and forth. I focus on trying to breathe, trying to remember that I'm not back there, that my mum did that for a reason…that it was all for a reason.

"I've got you and no one is going to hurt you, Gwen." Rhodes's soft words whisper in my ear, and his hand runs down my back. "I'll be one second."

I lift my head, sobbing, as Rhodes walks right up to Hollis and punches him hard. I hear Hollis's nose crunch under Rhodes's hit, and I wince. Hollis roars. "She's just being overdramatic for attention. It's pathetic you're falling for it."

"Get over yourself, brother, before you let our past control you," Rhodes warns with venom in his voice. Heartbreak too. Rhodes picks Hollis up with his telekinesis powers and literally throws him into the sea. He has the same gift as Hollis but that doesn't surprise me.

All I hear is Hollis's shout before he disappears in the waves, and I grasp the side of the cliff as I look for him. "He'll drown!"

Rhodes leans down to me, and he takes my hands in his. "No, he won't. He'll be pissed and soaked, but he's a very good swimmer. Come on, I want to show you a gift I got you." He wraps his arms around me and picks me up.

We are silent on the walk back to the academy, and Rhodes leads me to a part of the academy I haven't seen. It's high up in one of the towers, and we pass through a door that clearly says No Students Allowed on the door. "Where are we going?"

He nudges another door open. "My room. I moved into the academy this year." He doesn't say to be closer to me, but I get that feeling anyway.

"I'm sorry, I… It was a bad memory. The water on my face. It really wasn't Hollis's fault, I just…"

"It was Hollis's fault. It always is with him, and if you want to tell me the story of why, I'm listening," he offers, but he doesn't push. He doesn't demand anything of me.

"Maybe one day," I hedge. How can I ever explain it to him by telling him everything?

Rhodes puts me down in front of a red oak door, and he uses a key in his pocket to open it up for me. It's a small apartment with views over the sea, an enormous bed at the back of the room, and in the cage in front is the golden retriever puppy from the shelter. The one with a limp. "She's yours. The academy let me have her stay here or in your room whenever you want, when she is more trained. We can take her with us to work too, and Helen is going to give her private lessons to help her limp. But I'll give you a key, and you can come here—" I throw myself at Rhodes, squealing as I hug him as tight as I can. He laughs, holding me right back. "I was worried you'd say you don't want her."

"I always wanted a golden retriever and…" I drift off as he stares down at me. I lift myself up and brush my lips across his. A soft kiss, which I break away from quickly, but it makes my whole body buzz to life with just that brush. "Thank you, Rhodes. I wasn't allowed birthday gifts or Christmas presents, but I always asked for a puppy of my own."

"Fuck." He rubs the back of his neck with a cheeky grin. "If a puppy gets me a kiss, I'm going to have to adopt more just for a chance of another kiss."

I laugh with him as I head over to my puppy and take her out of her cage. She looks up at me with her bright hazel eyes, and I kiss the top of her head. I can't stay in Starlight forever, but I am going to let myself have something. "Hello, Nibbles. You're mine." I glance at Rhodes, and he smiles at me. We both know he is mine, too.