8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

Astrid

“Thank you, Tanya.” My assistant moves around me, sliding a brand-new tray of fresh muffins into the stunning new display cases that Penn installed last Sunday.

“No problem. I’m going to get back to filling the eclairs and then move on to the macarons.”

“I’ll be back there to help when I can.” I hear her glide through the swinging door to the kitchen as I focus back on the inventory sheets on the iPad in my hands, making a note of our products and how much we’re selling so I know what to order for next week from my supplier. This was my least favorite task when Greg and Jenny still owned the place, and even though I’ve simplified it by updating the system, it’s more complicated in other ways now since I’m expanding the menu.

The only thing I have left to do is land on a name. The bakery will either be Cooper’s Creations, paying homage to my married name even though my husband didn’t support this “hobby” of mine or Whisk Me Away Bakery since baking always helped me escape when I was lonely and needed some time for myself. I’m not sold on either option, but I haven’t come up with anything better .

“Good morning, Astrid!” The cheery voice of Pam from Cove Real Estate summons my attention as she walks through the door of the store.

“Hi, Pam. How are you?”

Brushing her gray bangs from her eyes, she pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose and smiles as she walks over to the counter where I’m standing. “I’m fantastic, dear. How are you? How’s it feel to be the boss?”

“Oh, it’s something.” We share a laugh. “Honestly, it’s overwhelming and exhilarating and some days I still can’t believe that it’s real.”

“Well, it is dear.” Her eyes scan the shop. “And the improvements look just gorgeous! Seriously, this place looks completely different.”

I track her eyes as she takes it all in.

Penn has done an amazing job repainting the walls a soft pink with white stripes. The display cases really pop against the pale color, and the new tables and chairs remind me of antique furniture you would see at a Victorian tea house—elegant, yet rustic. The only thing left to do is the floors, which he’s working on tonight. I have to stay late just to let him in since I only have one key to the shop right now. Getting another is one more item on my very long to-do list.

“Thank you. Penn’s done amazing work.”

Pam smiles knowingly. “He’s so talented. I can’t wait to see what he does with Tom’s old place.”

“Tom Nelson?”

“That’s right.”

“Huh. I didn’t know he got contracted for that.”

“Oh, it isn’t a contracting job. Penn bought the place! He’s going to fix it up and turn it into a rental. Brilliant idea, if you ask me.” The crease between my brows must be so harsh because Pam studies me and then says, “He didn’t tell you about it?”

My mind is spinning. A rental? Is that where he took Bentley last night? When we were eating dinner, Lilly kept asking if she could go to Penn’s house to smash stuff since Bentley got to. I thought it was a little weird that he would let Bentley destroy a wall at his place, so this makes a lot more sense.

But more importantly, why didn’t Penn say anything?

Oh my God. His super-secret project is his own rental business?

“Uh, nope. He hasn’t said anything.”

She purses her lips. “Interesting. I mean, he told me not to say anything, but I assumed he’d have at least told you, as close as you two are. Hell, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were involved.” She shrugs and then begins scanning the display case for her purchase as my heart has palpitations that are rocking my entire body. “I’m sure he would have told you eventually.”

Would he?

Penn and I normally tell each other everything. Why would he keep something this big from me?

Really, Astrid? You tell each other everything? Then why haven’t you told him about the dirty dream you had about him last night? Or the one the night before? Or about the Morgan Hotel event that is stressing you out while simultaneously making you giddy about the opportunity…

Okay, subconscious. You’ve made your freaking point.

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” I say, agreeing because it’s the polite thing to do and because it’s easier than saying what’s really on my mind right now—how that man frustrates me like no other. “Do you know what you’d like today?”

After I fill Pam’s order, take her payment, and talk to her about her grandkids for a few minutes, she leaves and I pick up my iPad again, trying to focus on order numbers when all I want to do is call Penn and interrogate him about the house he bought .

Yet, as soon as I reach for my phone, the chime above the door rings and in walks Richard Cockwell, professionally dressed and smiling, despite the fact I had to cancel our date last night.

“Hello, Astrid.”

“Um…Hi, Richard.” I set my clipboard down and move closer to him. “Look, I’m so sorry about last night…”

He holds up a hand to stop me. “No apologies needed. I get it. You’re a mom. Your kids will always come first.”

A sigh of relief leaves my lips. “Thank you.”

“I’m not going to lie and say that I wasn’t disappointed, but I get it.”

“I know. I’m sorry…again.”

“It’s okay, but I had to stop in this morning to fulfill my weekly order for the office ladies. Can’t let a failed date get in the way of making sure my girls at work are taken care of.”

The corner of my mouth lifts. “That’s sweet of you.”

“I’m a sweet guy.” He winks and then rattles off his order. Once he pays, he tucks the box under his arm. “I don’t suppose you might want to reschedule for tomorrow by any chance?”

“I would, but Bentley’s soccer team has the championship game at three, and then his team party afterward.”

Richard nods. “Gotcha.”

“I’ll text you Sunday though,” I say, even though the idea of trying to reschedule our date is making me sweat. The truth is, I think I was more infatuated with the idea of going out than who I was going to go out with.

Nevertheless, his face lights up. “I’ll be looking forward to it.”

“Bye, Richard.”

“Bye, Astrid. ”

I watch him leave and then pick up my phone again, but I don’t call Penn like I planned. I call my mother to check on my son and see if I can get any more information out of him.

“Hello?” My mother answers, the volume of the television on full blast. She must be watching one of her talk shows.

“Mom, turn down the television, please.”

“But Maddox Taylor is on the show right now.” She goes silent for a moment. “I’ve never been one to watch football, but I would watch that man run around in tight pants any day of the week.”

“Mom!”

“What? He’s a handsome man. His wife is one very lucky lady.”

I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose. “Can you focus, please? I called for a reason.”

“Okay, fine. But it’s just on a commercial break, so you’d better hurry up.”

“Nice, Mom. Is Bentley around?”

“He’s still pulling the weeds out of the flower beds.”

After I talked with my son last night, and cried myself to sleep over not being able to shield him from the pain of losing his father, I spoke to him this morning about how he’s going to spend his time away from school. A few chores around the house needed to be done, and even though I don’t blame him for hitting that kid for what he said, I can’t condone that behavior as a means to solve his problems and deal with his emotions.

And then this morning, I added find a therapist for Bentley to my to-do list.

I really think he should talk to someone about everything he’s feeling, especially as he’s getting older. I was also a child that grew up without a dad and it’s not easy. I know it’s affected a lot of aspects of my life, but at least I can help my son process it sooner than I ever did .

“Can you put him on the phone, please?”

I hear rustling in the background, and then the creak of the back door opening. “Bentley, your mom wants to talk to you, sweetie!”

“About what?” he calls back.

“I don’t know, honey. Just come grab the phone.”

When I finally hear my son’s voice, my shoulders sag with relief. “Hey, Mom.”

“Hey, honey. How are you feeling today?”

“Besides being sweaty and dirty, I’m okay.”

“Well, a little hard work won’t kill you.”

“I know, Mom. You and Uncle Penn tell me that all the time.”

“Yeah, I know. Speaking of Uncle Penn, I have a question.”

“Okay?”

“He mentioned that he let you demolish a wall last night?”

“Yeah…”

“Was it at his house?”

“No. It was some house I’d never been to before.”

“Did Uncle Penn tell you who the house belongs to?”

“Uh, no. Not that I remember.”

“Did you recognize the place, though?”

He thinks about it for a minute. “Maybe? I think it was in the neighborhood we trick-or-treat in. Yeah, it definitely was,” he says confidently now.

“Okay. Anything else about it that stood out?”

“Why are you so curious about the house?”

“No reason. I just wanted to know where he took you, that’s all.”

“Honestly, I wasn’t paying attention too much, Mom. I was angry and just kept swinging the sledgehammer. And then…” he trails off.

“I know, Bentley. It’s okay.”

He draws in a shaky breath. “Well, anyway, I’m almost done with the weeds and then I have to crush all the aluminum cans.”

“Good work, honey. I’ll see you later tonight. We’ll make some popcorn and watch a movie and just relax before your big game tomorrow.”

“Okay. Love you, Mom.”

My heart instantly melts for the boy I’m still raising and the man he’s slowly becoming. “Love you too, Bentley.”

When I hang up the phone, clutching it to my chest, I take a moment to breathe deeply and remind myself of everything I have to be grateful for. My kids are healthy, I now have a business that I love, and a mother and brother that support me no matter what.

And then there’s Penn.

The man I count on for everything the other people can’t give me.

But do I really want more than that from him? And can that happen without jeopardizing everything else?

***

By the time I got back to the inventory sheets, I decided to wait to speak to Penn about his secret until he came by tonight to install the new floors. That way, I had plenty of time to decide on how I wanted to broach the topic with him. But the more I thought about it, the more it sank in that he kept something that significant from me, and the more hurt I felt.

And here’s the thing—we’re not in a relationship. Hell, I can’t even tell you the last time the man went on a date. I technically have no right to be upset that he chose not to share his new venture with me.

But I am .

And he’s going to hear how I feel about it before the night is over.

Maybe it’s the stress of this week. Maybe I’m about to start my period.

Or maybe I’m so sexually and mentally frustrated by the man that I’m about to explode, but when he knocks on the back door to the bakery just after six, I swing the door open and glare at him while simultaneously fighting tears back.

“Uh. Is everything okay?” he asks, staring down at me timidly.

“No, Penn. Everything is not okay.” I let the door go, not bothering to hold it open for him as I walk away, striding back to the kitchen where I still have an order of a few dozen cupcakes I need to put frosting on for a birthday party tomorrow.

The door slams shut and then I hear his tool bag hit the floor behind me, but I don’t look back as I reach for the bag of frosting to start piping it onto cupcakes again. My chest feels like it’s cracking into pieces, my jaw is clenched tight, and my hands are shaking from the adrenaline racing through me.

“Care to tell me what the hell is wrong then? Because if I’m reading the room correctly, it seems like you’re pissed off at me.”

Spinning around, I stare at him. “Maybe you’re not a complete dumbass after all, then.”

Penn’s brows pinch together. “A dumbass?”

“Yeah, a dumbass. A big, tall, muscular dumbass.”

One of his brows lifts and he eyes me cautiously. “Okay…”

“I can’t believe you!” My voice cracks as I toss the bag full of frosting onto the metal counter and throw both of my hands in the air.

“What the fuck did I do, Astrid?” he asks, his voice uncertain. “I mean, shit. I just got here and you’re already fucking pissed at me. Am I late?” He pulls his phone out of his pocket to check the time and then shakes his head. “By three minutes? Is that the problem? I’m fucking three minutes late?”

“No!” My hands cover the center of my chest. “The problem is you never told me!”

“Told you what?”

“About the house!”

“What house?”

“The one you bought to turn into a rental!” Realization dawns on his face as his features drop and his spine straightens.

Both of our chests are rising and falling with labored breaths as we stare at one another, the tension rising in the room.

After a few moments, he says in a low growl, “How did you find out about that?”

“Do you think I’m stupid? That I wouldn’t find out? In this town?”

“Not at all.” And then it hits him. “Bentley told you, huh?”

“No. It was Pam. Bentley didn’t even know where you took him last night, Penn. I asked him and he said you never said anything about the house. But Pam came into the bakery today and mentioned it casually because she assumed you would have told me. Since we’re so close .” Shaking my head, I point a finger to my chest. “Me! The person you tell everything to!” Tears fill my eyes now. “But I guess you don’t…”

Penn tilts his head at me, confused. “I was going to, Astrid. I was just waiting for the right time.” He runs his hand through his hair in frustration and huffs out, “But it’s never the right fucking time.”

“The right time? Why? Why not just tell me when you bought it? Why wouldn’t you let me celebrate that with you?”

He swallows roughly. “I…”

“I just can’t believe you didn’t trust me with this. What you’re doing for yourself…it’s huge, Penn. It’s amazing and brave and…”

“Why are you so mad that I didn’t tell you?” he asks, cutting me off.

His question catches me off guard. “What?”

He moves a step closer. “Why are you so hurt? I know for a fact there are things you keep close to the vest, so why am I the bad guy?”

I stare up at him, watching his eyes bounce between mine. He smells fresh from the shower, which doesn’t make sense because I know he’s about to get dirty tearing up the floors of my bakery. But his scent—it’s intoxicating—masculine, rugged, and drugging me, pulling me closer to him on instinct.

“I asked you a question, Astrid.”

“I…I thought we were better friends than that, Penn,” I manage to say through the emotion and arousal coursing through me simultaneously.

Penn huffs out a laugh. “Friends? That’s why you’re pissed? Because I’m your friend who didn’t tell you that I bought a house to fix up and try to rent out? That I’ve had a business plan for rental properties and my own contracting business for years and have been too chicken shit to pull the trigger on it?” My mouth falls open slightly. “Or is it really because I’m your friend, but you and I both know there’s something more between us that we’re both too afraid to fucking do anything about?”

My heart and stomach plummet at the same time. “What are you talking about?” I whisper.

Penn stands so close to me now that I can feel his breath on my lips. He’s so much taller than me, but he’s leaning down so close to my face that I can see every eyelash framing his dark, hypnotizing eyes. “Tell me why you didn’t go out with Dick last night.”

His question stuns me for a moment. “Because Bentley needed me. ”

“No, that’s an excuse. Tell me why you never wanted to go out with Dick in the first place.”

“I…”

“Tell me that you’ve never wanted him because it’s me you’ve wanted all this time.”

The floor feels like it’s falling out from underneath me. My brain is malfunctioning, tripping over itself because I’m having trouble processing that Penn is saying these words to me right now.

What the hell is happening?

“I’ll tell you what you and I both know, Astrid.” He swallows roughly and then bends his knees so our eyes are at the same level. “That kiss three years ago wasn’t just a drunken mistake. It wasn’t just a fluke.” He shakes his head as his eyes dip down to my lips for a beat and then back up. “And I’m tired of pretending that it was.”

“Penn…”

He inhales deeply, looks down at my lips again, and then mutters, “Fuck it.”

And then his lips are on mine.

It’s dizzying how intense the kiss is, especially since it’s just our lips touching. But it’s not just our mouths that are tripping my balance. It’s Penn’s calloused hands moving under my shirt and up my back as he pulls me into his chest. It’s the way his arms feel wrapped around me.

And it’s the way when our tongues do collide, every nerve ending in my body comes alive, a euphoric pleasure coursing through me that is unparalleled.

Penn lifts me up and sits me on the metal counter, shoving cupcakes and utensils to the side. Luckily nothing falls, but at this point, I wouldn’t fucking care .

“Tell me that you want this,” he growls against my lips. “Tell me that you’ve thought about this as much as I have.”

“Yes,” I reply instantly because the filter is gone. It left long before we ever got to this point and I’m tired of feeling like I’m wearing a muzzle.

My mind is telling me this is moving too fast, but then Penn lifts the hem of my shirt and pulls it over my head, revealing my chest to him. His fingers trace the edges of my bra, and I instantly wish I had on something sexier.

“I’m sorry. I wasn’t expecting this…and my body…”

He presses a finger to my lips. “Don’t you fucking dare.” He licks his lips and then traces his fingers over every inch of my arms, chest, and even the soft flesh of my stomach that’s covered in stretch marks while his eyes follow the path of his fingers. Then he buries his fingers in the hair at my neck, and he’s pulling my head back, exposing my neck to him so he can lick, kiss, and tease the sensitive flesh there.

It never crossed my mind that Penn would be seeing me like this, even though I fantasized about it so many times. But now that it’s happening for real, I’m suddenly very aware there’s only one other man that’s seen me naked.

But I don’t want to think about that right now.

“You are so goddamn perfect, Astrid.” He takes my hand and places it over the rock-hard erection in his jeans, shocking me but lighting my need for him on fire. “Do you feel this? This is what I’ve been fighting for years. I want you so fucking badly that I can barely think straight. But right now, the last thing we need to be doing is fucking thinking. I’m tired of it.” He cups the side of my face. “And I’m tired of waiting for the right time. Tonight I’m going to take what I want.”

My mind says we’re crazy, but my body—she is so fucking ready to feel everything Penn has to offer.

“And I’m not going to stop unless you tell me to.”

“Penn…”

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, jutting his cock into my hands and drawing his fingers down the side of my neck simultaneously.

“No,” I answer without hesitation because if he stops, I just might die.

The deep gravel of his voice vibrates down my spine as he says, “Thank fuck,” and then he presses his lips to mine again, leaning over me as I wrap my legs around his waist and lie back against the cold metal table.

I shiver as I run my fingernails under his shirt, the chill of the metal biting into my skin. Penn breaks our lips apart and kisses a trail down my neck, along my collarbone, and over the swell of my breasts. “God, you always smell like fucking sugar.”

“Perks of the job.”

He lifts his head from my stomach and looks me in the eyes as he says, “I wonder if you taste just as sweet too.”

He keeps his eyes locked on mine as he pops the button on my jeans and pulls the zipper down slowly.

I lean back and stare up at the ceiling, trying to control my breathing. “Oh God. This is really happening, isn’t it?”

“You’re only allowed to say four words to me right now,” he says, ignoring my comment.

My head pops back up. “What?”

“Listen, Astrid, or I’m stopping until you agree.” He prompts me to lift my hips as he pulls my jeans down my ass and legs, tossing them to the side.

“Oh, God. Okay…”

“Those four words are…” He licks his lips before he continues. “Faster, slower, harder, or softer. ”

I think I’m going to die from this. Has anyone had a heart attack during sex because they were so turned on? “Jesus…”

“Actually, let’s add one more.” He hooks his thumbs under the sides of my underwear at my hips and begins pulling them down as well. Thank God I trimmed the other day .

“Okay?”

He stares at me again as he dips his head down, pushing my knees open to expose me to him, and lining up his mouth to the juncture between my legs. When he lifts my feet and plants them on the counter on either side of his shoulders, he says, “ More . You can tell me more . Do you understand me?”

“Yes.”

“Good girl. Now let me know exactly how to make you come on my tongue.”

With his eyes locked on mine, his tongue connects with my clit and I nearly come apart just from that simple touch. Soft circles, long licks, and short flicks—Penn works me over, figuring out what I like and taking his time.

I feel like I’m outside of my body, watching myself experience this carnal moment—a sexy man with his head buried between my legs, worshipping me. It’s the kind of thing that happens in fantasies, not real life.

But this is as real as it gets.

“More,” I finally manage to say, closing my eyes and burying my hands in his hair.

He circles my entrance with his finger and slowly inserts it all the way inside of me. “Is this what you want?”

God damn . “Yes.”

Penn goes back to licking me softly, exploring my flesh, his touch so soft and slow that it’s tortuous .

“Faster,” I moan as his tongue circles my clit again, picking up speed. “Yes, Penn.”

“Those weren’t on the list, but I’ll let it slide.”

I chuckle, but it’s cut short as Penn works his finger and tongue in tandem. My breathing becomes shallow, and I’m so entranced in this experience that I’m fairly certain I’ve forgotten how to breathe. One of Penn’s hands reaches up and pulls down the cup of my bra, tweaking my nipple as he keeps eating me, licking me, and fucking me with his hand, adding another finger.

“Oh God. Harder.”

“Fuck, you taste incredible, Astrid.”

I pull on his hair harder as my climax builds. “Don’t stop.”

“Keep telling me what you need, baby.”

“Faster, harder, more…. oh God, more!” I scream as my legs begin to shake. But Penn doesn’t let up. He keeps the pace, building my orgasm and when it hits me, I thrash on the counter, squeeze his head between my legs, and cry out until the very last wave subsides.

Panting, I lie back again, struggling for air, throwing my hand over my face as I try to recover. “Oh my God. We just committed so many health code violations.”

Penn laughs and then pulls me up to a sitting position. “Some rules were made to be broken, right?”

Staring at him, I think about the biggest rule we just broke—crossing from friends to more.

But that’s exactly what I want.

Without thinking, I wrap my arms around his neck and pull him down to me until our mouths meet again, tasting me on his tongue.

It’s erotic, primal, and has my body begging for more. Reaching for his jeans, I pop the button and drag the zipper down.

“Astrid, I don’t have anything. ”

I reach inside and find his hard, hot, length. Velvet over steel—that’s what Penn feels like all over. With my other hand, I lift the bottom of his shirt, suggesting that he remove it. And when he does, I lock onto the sight of his broad, muscular chest with the perfect smattering of chest hair across his pecs, and that happy trail that I can finally see the end of—and I have a feeling I’m going to be very happy when this is over.

“I have an IUD. I got it after Lilly.” Brandon and I knew we were done having kids, and I just never had it removed. And as soon as those words leave my lips, I realize that we’re really about to do this.

I’m about to have sex with Penn. There’s no going back after this.

“Fuck, Astrid.” When our lips connect again, he shoves his pants down and kicks them off, and then reaches behind me to pop the clasp on my bra, tossing it aside as well. “Stand up.”

I step down to the floor from the metal counter and Penn spins me around, pushing my torso over the edge of it now. Bracing myself on my forearms, the cold surface bites into my skin, but then I feel Penn tracing my spine with his finger, and that’s what truly inspires the goosebumps.

I wait with bated breath for him to bury himself inside me, but he continues to explore my body with his hands and then I feel his lips on my shoulders, moving up my neck to my ear. “Are you ready for this?” He reaches beside me, picking up the bag of frosting. I try to look over my shoulder to see what he’s doing, but he pushes me flat against the counter and holds me down. When I feel the frosting hit my back, I gasp. It’s cold, but the smell of the sugar hits my nostrils and makes me moan when I feel his fingers smear it into my skin.

Then I feel him move the bag to my ass as he draws something on one of my butt cheeks.

“Penn? ”

“Shhh…” he commands, tossing the bag to the side and moving away from me. But before I can glance at him over my shoulder, I feel his mouth on my skin, licking up the trail of frosting, nipping at me, dragging his teeth across my flesh, and sucking my skin between his lips, marking me.

“Oh my God,” I moan, lying flat on the counter as Penn’s fingers slide inside of my core again and his mouth licks my ass free of the frosting.

“Fucking sugar. Every time I smell it, I think of you,” he mumbles against my skin, making sure my ass is clean before he moves to the spot on my back.

“Penn.” I reach behind me, pulling him closer as his fingers continue to slide slowly in and out of me. “Please.”

“I’m not done eating my dessert.”

“I need you…to fuck me.”

He groans and stands up. “Fuck, Astrid. I need you too.”

His fingers leave my core and then I feel him line up his cock to my entrance and push in slowly. We both moan as he works his way inside, stretching me around him.

And it’s fucking perfect.

“Holy shit,” I gasp as Penn pulls out before thrusting back in to the hilt.

“Jesus…” Penn lets out a guttural groan and then leans over my body, lining up his mouth to my ear again. “God, you make me crazy. I’ve thought about this so many times, Astrid. How you would feel, how you would sound.”

“Fuck me, Penn. Please. Harder.”

He picks up his pace, interlacing his fingers with mine as he gives me his weight on my back. He’s so deep, so long and thick that it doesn’t take long before I feel an orgasm start to bloom. The sound of his hips slapping against my ass echoes in the kitchen and the metal table rattles with each of his thrusts.

“Fuck, you feel too good. I’m not done with you yet, but you make me want to lose my fucking mind.” Penn buries his face in my neck, grunting as he fucks me hard. But then he abruptly lifts off me and pulls me up from the table, hooking his arms under mine and holding me to his chest as he bends his knees, changing the angle and sliding out of me because of our height difference. When his hands cup my breasts, I twist my head to the side and find his lips, pressing our mouths together.

Penn spins me around and lifts me up so I can wrap my legs around his waist, holding me above the ground. He lines back up to my core and pulls me down on his cock, fucking me mid-air, guiding me up and down as if I weigh nothing.

But this isn’t nothing.

This is everything .

His cock slides in and out of me as I push my pelvis against him, my arms wrapped around his neck for leverage. His hands lift me by the hips, pulling me up and down his length, building me toward an explosion I don’t think I’m ready for.

Penn lays me back down on the counter and hovers over me, his hips never breaking their rhythm. “Touch yourself. Make yourself come, Astrid. I can’t hold back much longer.”

Reaching between us, my other arm wrapped around his neck for support, I find my clit and rush to meet him at the finish line. It doesn’t take much since I’m already so close, and when I start to clench around him and moan incoherently, Penn pulls me to him harder and deeper, bringing us both over the edge together .

When we’re spent, clutching one another so tightly, our bodies coated in a layer of sweat, the weight of what just happened hits me and it’s as if I snap awake from a dream.

I slept with Penn.

Oh my God. What did we just do? Funny how our brains can think rationally again once the desire wears off.

Penn pushes off of me slowly and runs a hand through his hair. “Stay here.” I watch his naked backside as he strolls away from me to grab a clean dish rag, runs it under water at the sink, and then he walks back over to me, lifts me off the table and spins me around, cleaning my skin where the frosting was earlier, his touch so delicate compared to the ferocity he displayed just moments ago.

Then we dress in silence, barely making eye contact.

I don’t know what to do now. It’s not like I have much experience with this.

But as the quiet between us grows, the more I fear we’ve made a huge mistake, especially because Penn isn’t saying anything either. For a man who told me he was going to take what he wanted tonight, he suddenly is giving off a completely different energy.

Penn finally looks at me, his gaze unreadable. But as he closes the distance between us and peers down at me, I accept that things between us will never be the same. And now I’m not sure what happens next.

“Astrid,” he says, reaching up to cup my jaw. But before he can get another word in, my phone rings in my pocket.

“Shoot.” I scramble to take it out and see it’s my mom calling, almost dropping the phone because my hands are shaking so badly. “Hello?”

“Hi, hon. Lilly is asking for you. She wants to make sure you’ll be home to tuck her in for bed.” Glancing at the screen, I notice the time and wince.

“Yeah, I’m on my way.” My eyes find Penn’s again as he takes a step back from me.

“Okay, see you soon. Be careful.”

“Bye.” When I hang up the phone, I sigh. “I need to get home,” I say as I walk to my office to grab my purse. I half expect Penn to follow me, but he doesn’t. Instead, when I come back out, he’s still standing right where I left him. Still shaking and uneasy, I move to turn away from him, but he grabs my hand before I get too far, spinning me back around and into his chest.

And then his lips are on mine again.

It’s electric the way he makes my body come alive, the way his touch makes all of the worries in my head drift away. But I know I need to get back to reality—even though it was incredible escaping it for a little while. All of my feelings are boiling beneath the surface right now, and I need to get some space from him before they run over—before I break apart and convince myself I regret what just happened.

Because the truth is, I don’t.

I wanted it. I’ve wanted to be with Penn for so long.

But I honestly just don’t know how to process everything right now.

“Good night, Astrid,” he says simply.

“Good night, Penn,” I whisper back as he releases me and then I leave the shop and walk out to my car to drive home, not remembering how I even got there because the only thing I keep replaying in my mind is the fact that I just had sex with Penn—and there’s no going back to the ways things were after that.