Chapter 24

CHAPTER 24

"A lison, Collin, you two stop fighting right this minute or there will be no dessert!"

Penny hid a smile in her napkin at the forlorn expressions on her niece and nephew's faces. Who knew mouths could turn down that much?

"But, Mooooom," Collin whined sweetly, putting on his puppy dogs eyes. "BJ said they're making chocolate cake for everyone tonight."

The night had finally arrived. Opening night of Jacks Restaurant. The place had been packed since the doors opened two hours ago. BJ had reserved a special table for her, her parents, and her sister's family. He'd been running back and forth to check on them while helping his siblings with opening night.

"Then behave or you won't be getting any." Her sister pointed at both the children. "Either of you."

The two quickly settled down, but she noticed Alison nudge her brother slightly when he muttered something from the corner of his mouth. The bickering made her remember her own childhood. She and her sister hadn't fought much, mostly because her nose was always in a book, but they had had their occasional spats. Her mother implemented much the same threats as her sister had.

Must be a mom thing.

The sadness that had been tugging at her for two days—since she discovered Operation Get Pregnant hadn't succeeded—sunk like a stone in her chest. Then there were the other emotions vying for attention in her overly crowded brain. Fear, longing, desire, love.

Love.

Yes. There was no denying it. She loved BJ. For how long she couldn't say, maybe always? Ever since they'd met, he'd been her protector, her confidant, her best friend. Had the love always been there, or had it matured over the years? She didn't know, and truthfully, it didn't matter. What she knew was that she needed to talk to him. Needed to tell him. She couldn't go on with their plan, knowing she was in love with him.

When they agreed he would help her conceive a child, it had been different. Only friendship existed in their world. She could raise a child and allow her best friend into their life, no problem. What she couldn't do was see the man she loved interact with their child while knowingly holding something this huge from him.

It wasn't fair.

They never had secrets from each other. Ever. And she did not intend to start now.

"Everybody having a good time? How's the food?"

She turned her head at the deep, intimately familiar voice behind her. BJ smiled, his long hair pulled back into a bun, pale blue eyes focused directly on her. Beard neatly trimmed. His lips curled in a devilish smile. The kind he gave her right before he kissed the ever-living daylights out of her.

"Everything is wonderful, Bravo," her mother answered. "The food is amazing and the atmosphere. I love all the historical items on the wall dedicated to our state. It makes it feel homey yet educational."

Her comment referred to all the…stuff tacked up on the walls. Old mining pans, a copy of America the Beautiful, skis, and other items relating to Kismet and the state of Colorado. She knew it was a point of contention among the Jackson siblings, but she had to admit, looking around, people seemed to like it.

"Yeah," BJ glanced around with a slight grimace. "Del certainly had the right idea with the décor. Looks like Ace and I owe him twenty bucks."

The clinking chime of silverware hitting glass caused a hush over the restaurant. Every head turned to see Del standing in the middle of the room. Beside him stood Cassie, and just behind them, Ace and Charlie.

"That's my cue. Dessert will be out next." He bent his head down, brushing his lips over hers in a soft, but very thorough, kiss. "See you later, honey."

He stood, heading over to his siblings to join them for the grand opening speech. When she glanced back at the table, she saw every single gaze of her family staring at her.

"What?"

"We'd heard the rumors, darling, but we didn't realize they were true."

She tapped her fingers on her leg under the table, addressing her mother. "What rumors?"

"That you and BJ had finally realized what idiots you were and hooked up."

"Gwendolyn!" Her mother sent an exasperated glance her sister's way. "We'd heard you and BJ had taken your friendship into relationship territory, but we weren't positive as you hadn't shared the news with us."

They weren't a super close family. Not like the Jacksons, but she glimpsed the hurt in her mother's eyes and shame filled her. She hadn't told them anything because she still didn't know how to explain to her family the odd situation she'd gotten herself into. She loved her parents and sister, but they never really got her. No one did. No one except BJ, the man she loved.

"He's a good man, Penny," her father said, wrapping an arm around his wife's shoulders. "No one is good enough for our little girl, but he's as close as one could get, I suppose."

Tears filled her eyes at the unspoken words of love. "Thanks Dad. And I'm sorry I haven't told any of you about us. It's…kind of complicated."

"Love always is, darling."

Boy, did she know that.

"Excuse me everyone," Del's voice carried over the hushing din. "I'd like to make a toast."

Silence fell over the restaurant. Every gaze directed at the family standing in the center of the room. Warmth and pride filled her as she watched BJ stand behind his brother, a solid force. Having the back of someone he loved, like always.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming tonight," Del began. "Kismet is a very special town. We may not be large or fancy, but we're solid. We have staying power. Kismet is more than a town with streets and houses, schools, and businesses. We're a family. We look out for each other. We support each other. And I thank every one of you for supporting my dream."

He glanced behind him. "I want to thank my brothers and sister for believing in me and always being there for me, even when I screwed up, or didn't deserve it—"

"Oh, you mean like every day?" Charlie joked, garnering a chuckle from the crowd.

Del shook his head with a smile. "I also want to thank my beautiful, smart, amazing wife."

He turned to face Cassie, grasping her hand in his. A pang of longing struck Penny deep in her chest. The way Del stared at Cassie, with such love and devotion…she ached to have someone look at her that way. Not someone. BJ.

"Cassandra, you believed in me when I didn't even believe in myself. You pushed me to become a better man. I know you always tell me I could have done all this without you, but honestly, I wouldn't have wanted to. You make my life so much better. Every moment, every instant, is richer for having you in it, and I will never be able to express how much I deeply and truly love you."

Sighs and sounds of awe rose as the two kissed. A warm tear ran down her cheek and she quickly brushed it away before anyone saw. Sure, plenty of people were crying, but she'd bet they were doing so out of joy, not longing.

"So thank you to my family, all of you, all of Kismet. Jacks Restaurant will be a place for everyone to come and make memories that will last a lifetime. From engagements, to first birthdays, to graduations. I hope you all consider us part of your family because we consider you part of ours."

A roar of applause filled the air. At the mention of weddings, babies, and family, the lone tear turned into a tsunami of emotion, pouring down her cheeks. Quickly excusing herself from the table, Penny rushed down the hallway and out to the back patio.

* * *

BJ watched as Penny rose from her table, making a hasty retreat into the back hallway. He'd been halfway across the room, but there'd been no mistaking the tears in her eyes.

Dammit!

He'd been worried Del's sappy little family speech might be too much for her right now. Not that he'd ever ask his brother to downplay his big moment—heck, the guy had been working on this for so long and hard he deserved it—but he wished it had come at a better time. Say, not right after Penny discovered the family she wanted so desperately wasn't happening.

Feeling shame, as if he'd somehow failed her, he muttered an excuse to his siblings and hurried after her, down the dimly lit hallway and out to the back.

The sun had just set over the Rocky Mountains. Pink, orange, and blue hues fading away in the sky overhead, giving way to the darkness of night. The full moon hung high above them, illuminating the area. Stands of twinkling white lights ran along the wooden beams surrounding the back dining area. No one had been seated here tonight since it was the grand opening. It was just him and Penny, her back facing him, shoulders hunched as a heartbreaking, muffled sob shook her body.

"Penny?" He approached slowly, the sounds of her misery wounding him like a punch to the gut. "Honey, please don't cry."

Reaching out, he grasped her shoulder in a gentle hold, turning her to face him. She'd pinned her hair up in an intricate braid that circled around the crown of her head like an angelic halo. A few tendrils of fiery red had escaped, falling around her face. He used one finger to push a silky strand back behind her ear, stroking her cheek with the action.

"I'm sorry if Del's speech upset you. All that family and baby talk stuff." She said nothing, only sobbed harder, tears running down her cheeks, streaking over the smattering of freckles he'd memorized with his lips. Heart ripping from his chest at her pain, he pulled her into his arms, stroking her back with a firm hand. "Shit, Penny, you're killing me. I'm so damn sorry. We can keep trying. I promise I'll get you that baby you want. You'll make a great mom. We'll keep trying until you get what you want."

"And wh-what about what y-you want?"

The words were spoken so softly and in between sobs, he'd barely heard them. "Huh?"

"Oh no, I can't do this."

She pulled away from him, hands coming up to wipe the tears from her face.

"What do you want, Bravo?"

He stared into beautiful hazel eyes, confusion clouding his brain. "What do you mean?"

"Are you…okay with our deal? Are you satisfied with giving me full control over our child? Are you okay with being just an uncle when, in reality, you're the father?"

She wasn't making any sense. "We agreed on this. This is your kid, not ours. I mean, this whole thing was your idea to start with. You wanted a baby, and you wanted my help. Why do you think I wouldn't be okay with that?"

A shudder left her. Long delicate fingers, fingers he could still feel caressing his body in deliciously wicked ways, tapped anxiously against her thigh. "I just…I guess I'm wondering if our…being together has changed anything for you."

Hell yeah it had. He now knew his best friend was a damn firecracker in bed, along with her many other phenomenal attributes. "We're friends, Penny. Nothing will ever change that."

"I know that, but I guess what I'm asking is if all this…intimacy has changed our friendship? Deepened it, maybe?"

He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Penelope, honey, I don't think I understand what you're asking."

Taking a deep breath, she curled her hands into fists, staring straight at him. "I love you."

"Yeah," he shrugged. "I love you too. What does that have to—"

"No," she interrupted him, stepping closer. "I'm in love with you, Bravo."

Oh. Ohhhhhh.

He stood still as stone. Shocked into silence. Thankfully she went on, not expecting a response, it seemed, because he couldn't get a single word past the lump of astonishment clogging his throat.

"I don't know if this is a recent development or if I've always been a little bit in love with you, but I know that something changed when we had sex. I know it started out for one reason, but it became so much more, BJ. You are so much more to me than just my best friend. You're my hero, my confidant, the person I want to talk to when something amazing happens. The person I want to hold me when something devastating happens." She licked her lips, eyes glossing over with fresh tears. "I want a baby, more than anything. I know I'll be a good mom, but you will make an amazing dad and it would be cruel of me to deny a child your love and guidance. You can only do so much from the outside. I can't ask you to do this unless we do it all the way."

Blood pounded in his ears. Hot and cold flashes swarmed his body. His chest tightened, making breathing damn near impossible. "What…what are you saying?"

"I'm not asking you to marry me or anything." She placed a soft hand on his chest. "I'm simply saying we need to rethink this plan. I'm willing to wait until you're ready. For everything. But I can't keep sleeping with you under the guise of simply getting pregnant. It's more than that now. We're more than that. I love you and I don't want to settle for part of you. Not when every inch of my soul screams for all of you."

A minute of silence passed. Or maybe it was an hour, or days. Hell, he didn't know. All he knew was his best friend had dropped a bombshell on his head and he didn't know what to do about it.

"Penny, I—" choking on his words, he cleared his throat and tried again. "This wasn't what we agreed on."

"Plans change."

"Yeah, but romantic relationships…there's no guarantee they'll work out. They fail, people fall out of love, people die."

"Life doesn't give you a guarantee, BJ. In anything." A soft palm reached up to cup his jaw. "You can't protect yourself from life. It's beautiful and devastating all at the same time and you can't stop it, but you can decide if you want to live it to the fullest or let it pass you by. You can play it safe and never truly be happy, or you can risk it all and hope that the happiness you get is enough to last a lifetime. No matter what happens."

A vice gripped his chest, squeezing every drop of air out of him. How could she stand there casually talking about love and life and risk? Didn't she realize the pain of losing something like that? What was the point of loving someone if it could all be taken away in the blink of an eye, leaving you a shell of your former self? Wasn't it better to keep things easy, light? What was wrong with playing it safe in love?

"Think about it."

Going up on her toes, she placed a soft kiss on his cheek and then moved past him back into the restaurant. Leaving him with the words he'd given her only a few weeks ago. But then, he'd been talking about adding a physical aspect to their friendship. She was asking him to crack open his chest and bare his heart to her and fate. Fate was a fickle bitch. How could he risk that? How could Penny?

He stood there in the rapidly chilling night air, nothing but the sound of rushing creek water and the hoot of an owl in the distance. The jovial laughter of the patrons inside dimly hit his ears as the door swung closed behind her.

The party went on. People were laughing, eating, enjoying the company of their friends and family. The earth still turned on its axis. Life hadn't come screeching to a sudden halt. How could that be? It didn't seem right for the earth to keep on turning when his world had just been flipped on its head.