Chapter 22

DARCY

* * *

It's odd not having Cole home for Thanksgiving, but our group has never been one for tradition. Mom, me, the Hartmans, and Sammie's family all serve at the local homeless shelter every year. We serve lunch to our community and love every minute of focusing on others. Our families invite others to join us, and sometimes, we have a large group. Sometimes it's just us. Thanksgiving is like Sunday brunch, but on a bigger scale and with turkey. After everyone is served, we play a highly spirited game of rock-paper-scissors to see who has dish duty for the last serving pieces.

I was taking my instruction from an adorable seven-year-old, and unfortunately, she didn't know the guys usually went with rock. I lost when it was down to Jay and me in the finals. The little girl was sad for me, but I convinced her dishes were my favorite part of the meal because they reminded me of how much good food everyone ate. She accepted my explanation and ran off to join other kids playing games in the back of the room.

As I head back to the kitchen to tackle the dishes, I'm hip-checked by Matt. "You think I'm going to abandon you in your time of need?"

"Well, since you and Cole lost last year, I thought you'd enjoy the victory." Cole and Matt lose almost every year. I'm not sure if they're bad at the game or if they secretly enjoy using the powerful dish machine.

"I didn't want you to learn the real secret," he teases.

"Oh, and what's that?"

"The chef leaves extra desserts back here for the dish crew." He winks and gives me one of his million-watt smiles. "I had fun today."

"Me too. It's one of my favorite days of the year. We've been doing this as long as I can remember."

"Yeah, it was another one of those Darcy Davidson big-hearted ideas. You've been making a difference since elementary school."

"What are you talking about?" He often remembers things I don't about our history. It warms my heart that he knows my past, my family, my successes, and failures.

"Don't you remember? You started talking to a homeless guy one year during the week of Thanksgiving, and you invited him to your house for dinner. He told you he couldn't come because he was having lunch with friends here. So, you invited yourself to lunch with him. You pitched such a fit your mom agreed to have Thanksgiving here. The rest, as they say, is history."

I pinch my face trying to remember. Matt reaches up and brushes his thumb between my eyes, smoothing my wrinkled face. "I don't remember that."

"Yeah, you've always had a heart for those in need. I figure that's why you're hanging out with me these days."

I blush. If he only understood. I've crushed on Matt since I was twelve. He's my Prince Charming. My knight in shining armor. My dream guy. If he knew the level of adoration I have for him, he'd be running faster than a line drive to third base.

"Don't be silly. I'm just hanging out to guarantee you make it to the big leagues, so my baseball is the investment I need."

"Oh, I see how it is. You're just chasing the jersey."

That's totally not true, but is that what he thinks? I like him because he's an athlete. OMG. I'm so embarrassed. What am I thinking? Matt? I'm his charity case. I try to school my face, but I'm unsuccessful. Panic fills his face. "I'm kidding, Darce. You know that."

I nod slightly and turn toward the dishes we need to tackle. Kidding. Right. I start washing dishes and pray this will be over soon. His firm hands grip my shoulders, turning me towards him. "Look at me, pretty girl. Please." Gah. I melt when he calls me that. I've never been one for pet names, but when he calls me that, deep down, I long for it to be sincere from him. That he really sees me that way.

I look into his whiskey-colored eyes and relax. Matt cares for me. It's killed me not to touch him today, but we agreed to keep it between us, so no PDA. He leans down and kisses me. His lips are tender, sweet like he's trying to reassure me what we have is real. Reaching around his neck, I pull him closer, deepening our kiss.

I need him to feel everything I feel. I need him to know I'm not a jersey chaser and what I'm feeling is more than a schoolgirl crush. I love him. Always have. Always will. But I can't tell him that now or he'll freak out and pump the brakes. I need him to catch up. I've been in love with Matt for years. While this is all new for him, I know he's hesitant. Torn. I won't push him. But I will give him my whole heart. Frankly, he's always had it.

"Oh, sorry." We jump apart like we got caught. Which we totally did. Fuck me. Jay is standing in the doorway with a massive grin on his face. "If I had known this was how we washed dishes, I would've volunteered." His laugh fills the dish room. "Just letting you know Sammie and I are headed out. I'll email you the schedule for the next few weeks, Darcy." He gives me a wink, and I return it with a sheepish smile.

"Thanks," I whisper.

I give Jay a pleading look that tells him to forget what he saw. At least, I hope that's what he picks up from it.

"Yeah, well, um, carry on. What happens in the dish room stays in the dish room."

"Well, these dishes won't wash themselves," I say. "Come on, slugger, let's get this done."

* * *

After we finish our task, we say goodbye to the people still hanging out in the dining area. I head to my car, and Matt follows. We've been relatively quiet after the interruption, both lost in our thoughts. I worry Matt's gone back to thinking we're a terrible idea. If that's the case, I'll cherish the time we've had. It's more than I could've wished for anyway.

Evening dusk is setting in, and the parking lot has a grey tinge as the daylight fades away.

"Where are you going now?" His voice is deep, husky.

"Home. Mom and I always look through the sale papers and plot our strategy for shopping and grabbing the best bargains for tomorrow. Why?"

The cool air hits my arms, and I rub up and down to warm them. It's always warm in the shelter, and the contrast between that world and this one isn't lost on me.

Matt takes off his hoodie and wraps it around my shoulders. His scent surrounds me, and I pull it tight. I hope he doesn't expect this back. Ever.

The back of his fingers brush against my cheek, and I can feel the warmth as they turn pink. My blush betrays me every time.

"I think my new favorite color is Darcy Blush. Want to Sigmund Freud me on that, Miss Davidson?"

"Sigmund Freud you?" I giggle at his term. I bite my bottom lip, deciding how to answer his question. Any insecurity I felt after his jersey chaser comment vanishes, and I feel bold and brave. "Well, changing a favorite color is quite a big deal. It's more often a slight change on the color wheel. But going from green to pink? That's a pretty drastic change, Mr. Hartman."

He leans down and whispers in my ear, his warm breath caressing my cheek, immediately making my blush deepen. "What can I say? I'm feeling pretty drastic."

I swallow and take a deep breath before answering. "Well, the base of pink is red, and it's the opposite of green on the color wheel. So, that means, well, those colors are complementary."

He gives a subtle nod. "Hmmm, complementary. I like that." His smile spreads across his face, reaching his eyes. He strokes his thumb against my cheek as his gaze warms my body. He leans down, and his lips barely touch mine. the contact curls my toes. "I absolutely like this color," he whispers as he pulls away.

I reach for him when my phone buzzes in my bag, vibrating against the lip gloss tubes and pens, making it sound louder and more urgent. I reach in and see it's a FaceTime request from Cole. Any warmth I feel immediately disappears, and a sense of dread fills my stomach.

I hold the phone up to Matt, and he immediately switches from flirty to friend.

"You'd better answer it," he encourages. "You know he can be persistent."

"Hey, how's Mexico?" It looks like he's outside, surrounded by lush green plants and a water feature.

"Great! How are you? Whoa. Are you okay? You look kinda flushed." I look at Matt, panic hitting full force. He grabs my hand and turns my phone to him.

"She's just warm from having to do the dishes at the shelter. She's not used to it like we are." Cole's laughter carries across the parking lot.

"Damn, now she knows our secret. Did she even appreciate the extra pie?"

"Probably not as much as we do. But she held her own." Matt gives me a wink that I'm sure gets Cole's attention. When Matt rubs his knuckles in my hair like Cole usually does, Cole laughs. Matt is in brother mode now, and I hate it.

Cole laughs again. "I'm sure she did. Where are you guys?"

"Just walking her to the car." Matt puts his arm around my shoulders and pulls me into the video, and I stiffen.

"I'm glad you're there to take care of her," Cole says sincerely.

"Hey, I've been taking care of myself for the last four years," I say indignantly.

"That you have, Darce," Matt says as he pulls me tighter for a side hug. I never thought his touch would make me uncomfortable, but I'm nervous talking to Cole with Matt this close. He'll see how much I crave his touch.

I've also come to realize I don't like this version of Matt anymore. There was I time I was willing to take anything he would give me. That's no longer true. I don't want my brother's best friend version of Matt. It's not enough. Nope. Knowing he can put us back in that box so easily is disappointing and makes me unsettled.

"So, how's Mexico?" Matt asks, switching the focus from me.

"It's gorgeous here, but I'm outnumbered. They had a Decker girl's night and tried to pull me into their shenanigans. I needed my wingman to save me."

I can feel Matt's laughter fill his chest. "So, what color are your nails?"

"Funny, real funny. Tripp and I wandered into town to a bar, did tequila shots, and played dominoes with a few locals."

"Look at you, hotshot. Drinking with your baseball idol," Matt interjects.

"Yeah, he gave me shit for getting you to ask him to sign my baseball card."

"By the way, Decker girl's nights are epic," I say. "Don't knock what you know nothing about."

"All I know is when Leigh came stumbling to bed, she was tipsy and very happy."

I scrunch up my face. "Let's just stop there. So, um, how's the house?" This is Cole's first time at Tripp's Mexico house, the one Chance wants to top.

"Oh, it's nice. But it's missing the Darcy touch. Girl, from what I've seen, you will exceed Chance's expectations. I can't wait for Tripp to see what you've done. I may have been bragging about you after a few shots."

"Oh, I wish you hadn't. I'm nervous enough as it is."

"Why are you nervous?" Matt whispers in my ear.

I turn around, and our faces are so close because of Matt's arm around my shoulder and keeping us both on video. "What if…"

"Hey, hey," Cole interjects. "Knock it off. Darcy, you're fucking awesome." He says it with such force and sincerity. I start to tear up.

"Yeah, you are," a voice interjects from Cole's side. "Hey, Darcy!" Julian's face takes up the screen.

"Hey, can't a guy have a minute here?" Cole says.

Julian laughs and pushes Cole aside. "Hey! Oh wow, it's Matt too. How's my favorite third baseman?"

"I'm good, thanks." Julian is Ashleigh's brother and Cole and Matt's agent. The web is tangled, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

"Hey Darcy, I hear you're killing it at Chance's house. Don't let that lug overwork you. Make him pay," Julian says.

"Is that any way to speak about your best friend?" I ask.

"That's the beauty of best friends," Cole says as he snatches the phone from Julian and pushes him away. "They always have your back."

I can see the walls go up around Matt as soon as Cole's words fill the air. The guilt assaults him from the inside out, it's practically visible. The best friend bro code.

"Yep," Matt answers instinctively.

I grab my phone from Matt and take control of this conversation.

"Hey Cole, good to chat, but I'm getting cold and need to make the shopping strategy with Mom. Talk again soon?"

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Have fun tomorrow, and be safe. Love you, Darce."

"Love you too." I disconnect the call and look at Matt. I watch him put distance between us.

"Looks like Cole is having fun in Mexico." After that conversation, I need to test the waters and figure out where his head is.

"Yeah, seems like it." Matt's voice is hollow. Any flirting or playfulness we had before the call is gone. Both of us go into protection mode, probably for different reasons.

I put my hand on his cheek. He doesn't pull away, so I count that as a win. "Hey, you want to tell me what you're thinking?" I give him a playful wink.

He leans in, and I turn my head up and close my eyes, excited for our inevitable kiss. I wait for his soft lips, and they press against my forehead. Damn. I try to push down my disappointment and give him a weak smile.

"Well, okay then." I step back and reach for my door handle. I will not cry in front of Matt.

Matt reaches for my hand and pulls me back to him. My back is to his chest, and he wraps his arms around my waist, pulling me tight to his body. He kisses me behind my ear sending shivers down my spine. My emotions are on a roller coaster, up and down and loop-de-looping everywhere.

"Have fun with your mom," he whispers. "I'll miss you."

I try to turn around in his arms, but he reaches out and opens my car door. He steps away and walks backward toward his car.

"Text me when you're exhausted, broke, or need encouragement tomorrow. I've got you."

That's the problem, Matt. You've always had me.