Chapter 23

DARCY

* * *

The next few weeks rush by in a blur. I fill my days with school, the house, and Matt. We've settled into a routine. Matt spends the mornings at the high school working out and helping his dad while I do a flurry of online shopping for the finishing touches for the house. We grab an early dinner most nights and crash at the beach house with some Netflix and chill time. He usually lets me pick what we watch, and I love finding something we can discuss or even disagree about, like a reality show. I get pleasure from getting him worked up in more ways than one.

Our chill time includes heavy make-out sessions and pushing the boundaries a little each night. Matt wants us to take it slow, and it takes every ounce of patience I have, but I remind myself he's still catching up on us. I've been ready for him for years. Just when I think we're ready to take it to the next level, Cole reaches out, and Matt gets a gut check. It's an infuriating dance of one step forward, two steps back. It's the bro code shuffle.

At this point, I'm still taking what I can get. I mean, any amount of Matt is better than nothing. But I'm becoming increasingly frustrated with my attitude of acceptance too. I want all of him.

I have nothing to complain about. He's all in when it comes to being supportive. He knows when I need encouragement, sustenance, a break, or a push, and kick in the butt.

These last few weeks before Christmas have been extremely busy. I'm lucky I'm only taking one class this semester besides my practicum, so the usual exam pressure is minimal. The practicum? I had no idea these last few weeks would be the hardest part. That's because all the contractor work is complete. Now it's time for the tiny details that make it special, and it's up to me to make it happen. My advisor is letting my grade ride as an incomplete until the new year, giving me time to submit a finished product in my portfolio since it's such an enormous job. I've kept him apprised of my progress and deadlines. He can't believe I'm doing this project myself. Some days, neither can I.

I'm meeting Jay this afternoon for the final walk-thru and sign-off. There are hundreds of boxes that need to be broken down, and I'm becoming an expert with the box cutter. The mess is daunting. I say a silent prayer Chance doesn't freak out when he sees his credit card.

"Darcy?" Sammie calls out.

"In here," I yell.

"Cardboard is an interesting design element," she says teasingly.

"Yeah, it's the new cottage chic. What are you doing here?" I wasn't expecting to see her until tomorrow. I've been staying at the beach house to give Sammie peace and quiet for her exams.

"I told Jay I wanted to tag along. I finished up exams a little early."

I finish breaking down the box in my hand and add it to the pile. I wipe my hands on my jeans and hug her full force.

"I'm proud of you, girl. You must be glad to be done."

"Yeah, one more semester to go. Kinda scary, huh?"

"Just a little." Well, if that isn't the biggest lie I've ever told her. More like terrified. Sammie will no doubt get into medical school, and I'll what? Look for a job? Start my own business? Be a waitress at The Wreck? Depending on where Sammie goes to school, I could live alone for the first time in my life. It's all the hard stuff I don't want to think about, but I've got five months to ignore it all.

"Let me take over cardboard city here," Sammie offers. "Jay's waiting for you downstairs by the pool. Something about starting from the ground up." She shrugs her shoulders and holds out her hand for the box cutter in my hand. "I'm waiting for the final reveal, so I don't want to peek." Her smile fills her face. All the pressure is off her for now, and she looks like a college student on break. I have a little twinge of jealousy. There are exactly twelve days until New Year's Eve. Twelve days left to get this house done.

I hug her again. "Thanks, Sammie," I whisper. "I couldn't have done this without you. I love you."

"Girl, you've got more talent in your little finger than most people have in their entire bodies. Quit doubting yourself and celebrate your awesomeness."

I just hug her tighter. I wish I could make this anxiety and self-doubt go away. There's just so much riding on this. It's not like working at Ashleigh and Cole's house. That was fun. It wasn't for a client. It wasn't for my future.

"I better not keep Jay waiting. Thanks, again."

She smiles, opens the box cutter, and grabs the next box in the pile. "You got this girl. We all believe in you."

I walk toward the back doors to meet Jay at the pool area. I wipe the tear that slips down my cheek. The problem with everyone believing in you? The thought you could let them down weighs a ton.

* * *

"Hey, Darcy," Jay says from behind the pool bar. "Doesn't this space look great? It's probably my favorite part of the house."

"Yeah, you guys did an amazing job." There's the large screen over the bar, the outdoor kitchen area with a brick oven for pizzas, and the grill big enough to cook a dozen steaks at once. I've learned that athletes eat more food than mere mortals can comprehend. Since many of Chance's friends are professional athletes, food and entertainment are a focal point of this house.

"I love your idea of making the tile around the bar and pool festive. The pops of hot pink and teal look great."

"It turned out well," I muse. "I can't wait to put out the cushions and flamingo pool float." One of my favorite pictures on Chance's Instagram is his large, muscular body floating in a giant flamingo float at Tripp's house in Mexico. It inspired the pool area, and I've blown up that picture and hung it behind the bar with a neon pink sign that says Outside Chance. I thought it was a clever name for his bar, but now I'm doubting it.

"Love the bar name. Chance will love it too," Jay says, breaking my insecurity self-talk.

He holds out a roll of blue tape, and I take it, unsure what it's for. "Here's a roll of painter's tape. As we walk around, nitpick everything. If it's not perfect, mark it with the tape. I'll make notes too. We'll take care of it and turn over the symbolic keys to you once it's done to your satisfaction."

"Oh, okay." It's times like this that I realize I don't know what I'm doing. An experienced designer wouldn't have looked at the roll of tape like it was going to bite.

"Come on, Darcy, let's check out your masterpiece."

We start downstairs and make our way to the main living area. Sammie doesn't say a word but keeps breaking down boxes and adding to the stack of cardboard.

"I'll get one of my guys to take all that cardboard to the recycling center for you," Jay says as we finish the main area and head to Chance's bedroom on the next floor.

"Thanks. I didn't realize how much stuff I've ordered." That stack of cardboard is getting taller than me. I'm self-conscious of ordering too much and ruining the environment in the same shot.

"It's a big house. Trust me, you've been extremely conservative."

I know he means it in a good way, but I worry. When we step into the large owner's suite, Jay turns to me and holds me by the shoulders.

"Stop."

His words catch me off guard.

"Stop what?"

"Stop doubting yourself. Conservative is a compliment. Some people think you have to be over the top to get noticed. You don't have to do that. You made a safe space for people to relax and be themselves. It's fun and full of whimsy. Chance will love it, and it's a launching pad for a successful future."

I let his words soak in. Future. "Thanks, I needed to hear that from an impartial party. When Sammie or Matt say it, I feel like they're just being nice."

"First, they both love you too much to lie to you. And second, I'm not impartial. I'm a fan too. But, as a professional, I can give you my expert opinion, which may hold a little more weight." It's hard to explain, but his words give me a booster shot of confidence I need.

We finish our walk-thru and there are very few things to fix. It's almost done. I spin around taking it all in. This house has brought me more than graduation. It's brought me Jay. It's brought me Matt.

"Come on. We're taking you out to dinner to celebrate." Jay puts his arm around my shoulders and leads me to the hall.

Matt's waiting for us in the parking lot when we arrive at the restaurant. He looks so handsome, leaning against the hood of his car, scrolling through his phone. His eyes light up when he sees us pull in, and his smile makes my stomach flip. He walks over to Jay's truck and opens my door, extending his hand to me. The warmth of his touch sends an electric current up my arm, warming my entire body and flooding me with happiness.

He leans down and gives me a chaste kiss on my lips, the feather-like touch of his lips teasing me. I move in, and he pulls away, causing me to scowl at him.

He throws his head back and laughs. "Not sure that's the reaction I was going for, but you're adorable." His finger bops my nose, and I deepen my frown. He leans down and whispers in my ear. "Don't worry, pretty girl. I know how to turn that frown upside down. Later. I promise." He nips at my earlobe, and my resolve to pout melts.

I try my best to hold my glare, but when my eyes meet his, I can see the longing, and I melt into him. "You're such a tease. Ugh… Let's go." I grab his hand and tug him towards the door. I'll enjoy dinner and time with my friends. But after dinner? I know what I want for dessert, and it's not on the menu. I'm tired of Matt setting the boundaries, and tonight I plan on pushing them or, better yet, erasing them.

* * *

Whenever the four of us get together, we always have fun. We drank a bottle of wine, and when I say we, I mean mostly me and Sammie. The guys laugh as we recount childhood stories, and Matt interjects with his version of the story or detail we'd left out, usually on purpose.

Sammie is telling the story about a prank we pulled in eighth grade, and Matt's smile grows as he remembers. I relax into him and sigh. Matt is part of my entire life story. He knows me and has seen me at my highs and lows. This story Sammie is telling is when my crush on Matt began. I wonder if he knows that? If my younger self knew that I'd be sitting with Matt Hartman while his hand gently strokes my thigh under the table, I would've died. His lazy strokes move higher up my thigh until he's inches from my center. The shock makes me jump a little.

"You okay," Sammie asks.

"Um, yup. Fine." I look up at Matt, and his expression doesn't change. He's casual as he takes a small sip from his beer.

"I, um, hate to call it a night, but I've got a lot to do tomorrow. Matt, do you mind taking me back to the house?"

"I'm done with exams, so you can come home, you know." I want to smack the smirk off Sammie's face.

"Better commute." I shrug like that's the real reason. I wonder if I fool anyone, but based on the looks I'm getting, I doubt it. My friends are awesome though, because they don't call me on my attempt to justify my decision.

"Come on," Matt says. "I need to get you to bed." He blushes. "I mean, um, since you have a big day tomorrow and all." Is Matt speaking in innuendo? Is he planning on dropping me off so I can rest? The tension between us has me strung tight.

We say our goodbyes, and Matt helps me into his car. He leans over and buckles me in. His cheek brushes against my breasts, sending tingles down my spine and making my nipples come to attention. I let my mind wander and imagine Matt's lips kissing my breasts and exploring my body. Just the thought is making me wet and turned on.

Matt doesn't say a word as we drive toward the beach, his hand not leaving my thigh. As he caresses my leg, he slides his hand higher, his fingers brushing against my center. He can probably feel my wetness through my leggings. His breathing hitches.

"You might want to slow down there, slugger. The last thing you need is a speeding ticket."

Matt looks at me like I spoke to him in a foreign language. He cocks his head to the side like he doesn't understand.

"The speed limit is thirty-five. You're way out of that range." I smile, letting him know I understand exactly why he's willing to risk a ticket to get us home.

"Don't care," he mumbles, but slows down a little.

We pass the turn to Chance's house and head towards his house. When we pull into his driveway, Matt stills, looking straight ahead.

"Darcy," he whispers.

"Um, hum." Matt is having a moment, and I don't want to spook him. We've been playing by his rules, and something happened tonight that made him decide to change them. It's about damn time. He's caught up with me, and I'm ready. I don't know what prompted this change of heart, but I'm glad he's made his way here.

"If we do this, there's no going back," he whispers.

"I know." I unbuckle my seatbelt and climb over to him. I straddle his lap and kiss him, gently at first, but when I nibble his bottom lip, he opens up, and his kiss devours me.

We fumble out of the car and up to the front porch. My back is pressed against the door as Matt kisses me. It's a wonder he's able to unlock it at all. Once we make our way inside, all semblance of decorum is lost. We frantically tug and pull at each other's clothes until our shirts are on the floor.

Matt slows our kisses and pulls away. Did I do something wrong? Panic creeps in until I look into his eyes and see him staring at my breasts. His hands slowly slide up my sides and gently cup them over my bra. I've never had anyone look at me with such reverence. Goosebumps cover my arms. The pull between us is magnetic.

"Why don't we take this into your room?" My breath hitches as his thumb brushes over my nipple. Who knew a faint touch could be such a turn on?

"Are you sure?" He looks at me, his eyes searching.

"Positive." There's no hesitation on my part.

He scoops me up, carries me to his bedroom, and gently lays me on the bed. The franticness is gone, replaced with a slow burn and hunger. Indecision crosses his face.

I put my palm on his cheek and pull him to me. I kiss him with everything I have. Everything I am. Everything I feel.

Even though my life is full of questions and uncertainty, there is one thing I'm certain about.

This is no crush. I love Matt Hartman.