Chapter 21

MATT

* * *

I kissed Darcy Davidson. I KISSED Darcy Davidson, and now I'm thinking about her as I stroke one out in the shower this morning. It's not the first time my morning has started with my dick in my hand as I think about her, but this time her kiss has me harder than I've ever been in my life. With my release, I'm hit with a moment of pleasure, followed by panic.

Darcy. My best friend's sister. The girl whose kiss I crave so much I crushed the bro code. Fuck.

I'm not an emotional guy. I'm logical. Loyal. Level-headed. The responsible one. The solid third baseman who keeps the team focused on winning. Now, I feel like all those qualities that define me are stripped away, and I'm floating, not anchored to anything familiar. It's the off-season, and I don't even have baseball right now. I've lost my balance, my footing. I've lost my goddamn head! I stare in the mirror and don't know who this emotional guy is looking back at me.

Sure, I have emotions, but they aren't what drives me. I mean, I enjoy baseball, but mostly, it's because I'm good at it. It's what I know. I understand the angle and force of a ball coming off a bat and its trajectory. I majored in physics, for god's sake. I play ball with my head, not my heart. I don't play with emotion and passion the way Cole does. It's why we complement each other, the yin and yang of baseball.

But now? Emotions assault me from all directions, and I don't know how to combat them. I'm ill-equipped to handle these new feelings, and the one person I want to reach out to, I can't because I kissed his sister. I crossed a line and need to figure out how to fix it.

When you make an error in baseball, you learn from it, try to mitigate the damage, and salvage the inning. But that error still counts in your stats. It doesn't go away. But you move on. Don't let it ruin the next play. Maybe that's what I need to do. Was this an error? I'm not sure.

After getting on the same page with an extensive make-out session, I helped Darcy finish hanging pictures. She's got an eye for what works and her ability to transform her environment is like magic. I'm captivated by her magic and she's transforming me, too.

We focused on her work and tried to get back to a place where we both felt comfortable. Tried to level set. Regroup. It took away the awkwardness and grounded us. Grounded me. Because I admit, kissing Darcy left me untethered. It isn't a bad thing, just an unknown thing. An adventurous thing. A dangerous thing.

Then, it was time to say goodnight. It was as if our first kiss was a warm-up for the main event. I've never been one to put much stock into kissing. It's always been a means to an end. But kissing Darcy? It's different. Kissing her is the most erotic experience I've ever had. Her hands pulled at my hair and made me wonder if she likes things a little rough. Or was it just the excitement of finally connecting? I couldn't get enough of her. I was like a man finding an oasis in the desert.

We finally made it into her car and she drove me home. After the short ten-minute drive, we made out in the car like a couple of horny teenagers. She got out to come in and I kissed her with a newfound passion, pressing her against the car, holding her tight. Her lips are made for mine. Her tongue created for my pleasure. When her teeth nipped at my skin, I wanted more. Damn, that girl is sexy, even in her oversized sweatshirts and leggings.

And as much as I wanted to take her to bed, she deserves better. When Sammie texted her for the fourth time, I knew I had to let her go, even if it was for a few hours. Watching her drive away practically gutted me, but I know it was the right thing to do. She needs rest.

We agreed to go slow because we have time. This isn't something I want to rush, but rather savor. Easier said than done. Darcy is the most incredible, sensual woman I've ever known, and I want to devour her. I need her to know that this is about who she is, not sex. I'm attracted to Darcy — body, mind, and spirit.

I know I need to talk to Cole, but timing will be everything. Ashleigh said she'd lay the groundwork. Not sure what that means, but I have to trust her.

This thing with Darcy feels right, true. What if it's both? Both indeed.

* * *

I've texted a few times with Darcy, but nothing of significance, mostly stuff about the house. I may not know how to do this, but she deserves someone who will figure it out.

Dinner tonight?

Pretty Girl

Sure. We can order a pizza or something.

Nope. I want to take you on a date.

A date?

Yep. I'll pick you up at your place at 7. Wear something nice. But comfortable.

I'll be ready. ??

I stop to get flowers and a box of Sour Patch Kids, Darcy's favorite candy. I made reservations at a trendy new restaurant that is on the best of list. This date may be cliche, but I need to start somewhere. Darcy deserves a guy who tries, gives her the best, and who shows her she's worth it. A guy that lets her know she's everything.

* * *

"Wow, you're breathtaking." I can't hide my pleasure in seeing Darcy. She's a natural beauty, but this evening, she's dressed in a silk wrap dress that puts all her assets on display. Fucking gorgeous. "Emerald is my new favorite shade of green." The dark color enhances her features and brightens her hazel eyes. The blush fills her face, and it does something to my chest. I reach out and place my palm on her cheek. She leans into my hand, and her eyelashes flutter as she closes her eyes. A smile graces her lips, and I know it's all for me. Her kissable lips greet me, but I remind myself tonight is about letting her know we're more than a physical connection. I want her to know she's everything. But that fucking red lipstick gives me a momentary pause. Damn, she's delicious.

"I thought you might like it," she says coyly.

I kiss her chastely, giving myself kudos for my restraint, and take her hand.

"Pretty girl, you are gorgeous, no matter what you wear. But damn, I just need a second to figure out why you would want to be with me. I'm not worthy."

She swats at my chest, and I snatch her hand and bring it to my lips. I think of these fingers tugging on my hair and consider another make-out session.

"Like we have time for you to fish for compliments," she teases.

"You're right. We have reservations, but I don't know if I want to show you off or keep you to myself." I give her a wink.

"Wow, Matt, when you decide to go all in, you go all in. Are you this charming to all your dates?"

"What? No, Darce, it's all you." I shake my head to settle my emotions. I need to get my level head back in the game. "Come on, let me take you on a proper date."

The dinner was superb, but the company was even better. We made a deal not to talk about school or baseball, nothing that might trigger stress, but all other topics are fair game. The other rule is to answer truthfully, therefore quickly. We can't take time to find the safe or polite words. Tonight is about truth and freedom. We've been going back and forth with questions all evening. The laughter is flowing as freely as the wine. Somehow, our inquisition has become a competition, each trying to make the other think too long before answering.

"The house is burning down. You only have time to grab one thing. What is it?" I ask.

"Easy," she answers. She takes another sip of her wine. "My autographed baseball." She sits back and crosses her arms, and a confident smirk crosses her face.

"You have an autographed baseball? Signed by anyone I've heard of?" This was not the answer I was expecting.

"The one signed by twelve-year-old Matt Hartman and Cole Davidson when they made a pact to both play in the MLB. I'm about to be a millionaire by selling it on eBay in a few years."

I'm stunned. I remember that day. Our travel team won the tournament, and Cole and I were joking around, acting like hotshots. Darcy pretended to be a groupie and asked us to sign her baseball. It was one of those silly things we did as kids.

"You still have that ball?" I can't believe it.

"Of course. My most prized possession."

"But we were just kids." I'm shocked at the sentimentality of it all. Darcy is thoughtful. Supportive. Hopeful. Caring.

"Who made their dreams come true. You and Cole are on your way to the big leagues."

"I can't believe you kept it," I whisper.

"I'm not a hoarder," she confesses. "But I know a good investment piece when I see one." She tips her glass to me in a mock toast and finishes her glass of wine.

The mention of Cole brings the guilt back to the surface. Darcy narrows her eyes at me.

"Don't you dare, Matt Hartman," she hisses. "Get out of your head right now. This is about you and me. Not Cole. So put him away, do you hear me?"

I stare into her eyes that were so happy and bright a minute ago and am now faced with feisty Darcy. The girl who is scrappy and isn't shying away from this new thing we've started. Maybe that's because he's her brother and will always love her unconditionally. I'm not as lucky. But she's right. Tonight is about discovery. Learning more about each other. It's about us.

I roll my head on my shoulders and relax. "I hear you, pretty girl. I hear you."

"Good." She gives a little hmph sound and holds her glass out for more wine. I pour some more and gulp mine.

She puts her adorable smile back on, like her reprimand didn't even happen. Honestly, that transition is frightening. She bats her eyes at me. "So, same question. What are you grabbing if the house is on fire?"

I look at her, and my heart skips a beat. I think I'm falling for her and am equally excited and terrified. But I can't help it. She's everything.

I can't lose our competition, so I respond with the first thing that comes to mind. "You, pretty girl. It's you."

Damn. Here we go.