Nineteen

"E xcuse me, Jimmy. Do you have a minute?" Lois asked.

He'd nearly reached the exit door when he heard her call out. Jimmy should've kept walking and would've been within his right, but he recalled his conversation with Jill on Monday evening. The truth was you really didn't know what a person was going through in life. It didn't excuse bad behavior, but it sometimes explained how someone reached the point of lashing out at those around them.

So Jimmy halted and glanced down at his watch before turning to face her. "I'm due to pick up my mother and grandmother from the airport soon, but I can spare a few minutes." A new set of butterflies took flight in the pit of Jimmy's stomach. He'd put off thinking about the imminent confrontation he needed to have with his mother. Jimmy was terrified of angering her with his snooping, but Nova had been right about his inability to pretend he didn't know the truth.

Lois gave him a small smile, and it softened her entire expression. "It won't take long. Let's just step over to reception since it's closer."

"Sure," Jimmy said, falling into step beside her.

As with Jill, he let the older woman set the pace and didn't prompt her to hurry along.

They stopped at reception, and Lois turned to face him. "I owe you a huge apology, Jimmy. I haven't always been the easiest person to get along with, but my behavior has been inexcusable."

"Is there something I've done to make matters worse?" he asked softly. "I swear I'm not gunning for your job."

"I," Lois said, then shook her head. She let out a little sob before bursting into sudden tears. Jimmy wasn't sure which one of them was more stunned by her reaction to his remark. Lois let out a mortified groan and covered her face.

Jimmy gently took her arm and guided her over to the seating area. Once she was settled, he retrieved a box of tissues from the receptionist's desk. He wanted to rub Lois's shoulder but didn't think it was appropriate. With Jill, they'd shared some fun moments which had made hugging her seem like a natural reaction to her sorrow.

After a moment, Lois collected herself and wiped her eyes with a tissue. "I'm so embarrassed."

"Don't be," Jimmy said. "I won't tell anyone."

"You're too nice for your own good, kid. This awful world tends to devour people like you."

Jimmy smiled. "I'm tougher than I look."

She laughed. "Good. I've been awful to be around lately, and I know everyone is trying to figure out what's going on."

"We're just worried about you," Jimmy assured her. "There's no malicious intent involved."

She took a deep breath and nodded. "It's my father. Oh, God, just saying it out loud is too much."

Jimmy reached over and covered Lois's hand. "You don't have to tell me. I accept your apology as is."

"He's been battling Alzheimer's for years," Lois said. "And recently, he hasn't known who I am. Damn, it hurts so bad."

"I'm so sorry, Lois." Jimmy didn't know what else to say. He knew of the disease but didn't have firsthand experience with it. But it wasn't difficult to empathize with her situation. Jimmy would be crushed if his grandmother forgot him one day or he reached a point where he couldn't remember the weekend he'd just shared with Nova. Shit. Jimmy was starting to tear up too. He grabbed a tissue and wiped at his leaky eyes. "That has to be just awful."

"I try to be so grateful for the memories we've made, but I'll never hear my dad refer to me as his beautiful girl again." Lois swallowed hard. "The nurses told me there could be fleeting moments where he might recognize me, but they'd be few and far between." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "It's not an excuse for taking out my anguish on everyone around me, especially someone like you who's only shown kindness to me. I shouldn't have suggested you answer the Ask Aimee questions. I made the remark out of pure spite, and it was uncalled for. I'll answer them for Jennifer if you'd like."

Jimmy smiled and patted Lois's hand. "You actually did me a favor."

She straightened up in the seat. "I did?"

Nodding, he said, "I read through the submissions, and I'm learning a lot about myself by helping others."

"You're a natural," Lois told him.

"I wouldn't go that far," Jimmy replied, "but it's not as awful as I'd imagined. I appreciate your offer, though."

"I have to do something to make up for my awful behavior," Lois protested.

"Okay, I have a request," Jimmy said.

Lois dabbed at her eyes again. "What's that?"

"Be kind to yourself, Lois," he replied. "Take time off to get pampered or do an activity that brings you pure joy."

"It won't heal my broken heart," Lois said.

"No, but it will give you a much-needed respite."

Lois sighed. "Do you really think it will help me?"

"Possibly," Jimmy replied, "but it definitely won't hurt you."

She smiled at him. "You really are good at this."

Winking, Jimmy said, "My grandmother likes to say I have an old soul."

"I agree," Lois replied. "Speaking of your grandmother, I better let you get going."

"I won't repeat a word of our conversation. Just know you have people here who care about you." Jimmy reached over and hugged her.

Lois stiffened in surprise, then returned the gesture. "My waterworks are about to set off again," she teased. "I will give my best friend a call. Maybe she could use a day of pampering too."

"There you go." Jimmy glanced down at his watch again. He needed to start heading for the airport.

"Get out of here, kid," Lois said as she stood up. "You don't want to keep your ladies waiting."

"It's best not to," he agreed. "Take care, Lois. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."

"Will do."

Jimmy scanned the latest group of travelers exiting the terminal but didn't see his mother and grandmother. His mom had texted him when they'd landed, so he figured it wouldn't be much longer before they stepped out of the airport. Jimmy was excited to see the special women in his life, but he dreaded the conversation he needed to have with his mom. It didn't have to happen tonight. In fact, it shouldn't. She deserved the opportunity to unpack and unwind after a full day of traveling. Jimmy figured he deserved a little reprieve from emotional revelations too.

Too distract himself from overthinking, he pulled up the picture of Millie that Nova had sent him a few hours ago. The adorable little girl was sitting in the back seat of his car, wearing rainbow mouse ears with her name embroidered on the front and an oversized pair of sunglasses. Clutched tightly in Millie's arms was a large stuffed Pluto. Included with the candid photo was a message that read Scott has temporarily mollified her with a stuffed dog. I have a feeling it will go everywhere with her.

Jimmy had responded with, So stinking adorable.

To which, Nova wrote, Thanks! The kid's not bad either, right?

He'd been smiling ever since the exchange with Nova, which helped the rising tension. Two women matching his mother's and grandmother's heights and builds breezed out of the airport. They wore large floppy hats and oversized sunglasses that hid their faces, but Jimmy recognized the luggage they were pulling behind them. He would've driven closer, but the cars in front of him were still waiting to pick up passengers. Jimmy waved from the front seat, hoping they'd see him through the windshield. They looked in his direction but didn't head toward his car. Then it hit him. Duh. They had no idea he'd purchased a new vehicle. They were looking for Bonnie.

Jimmy took off his seat belt and got out of the car. His mother saw him first and patted his grandmother's arm to get her attention before pointing in his direction. Jimmy stepped onto the curb and headed toward them. Every step closer filled him with joy and relief that they were home safely. No matter what, these two women had always been his pillars of strength.

"Jimmy," his mother said, increasing her pace. She released her suitcase and threw her arms around him and hugged Jimmy tightly. "I've missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Mom." He kissed her cheek and released her to embrace his tiny grandmother. "I missed you, Grandma."

She took his face in both hands and pulled Jimmy down so she could kiss his forehead. "My sweet boy. I feel like I haven't seen you in a year."

"Whose car did you borrow?" his mom asked as she tugged her suitcase toward the back of the Subaru.

Jimmy grabbed his grandmother's luggage in one hand and his mother's with the other.

Laughing at his antics, his mother said, "I'm more than capable of loading my own luggage, dear."

"No one said you couldn't, Georgie," his grandma said. "There's no need to start picking things apart."

Uh-oh. Not back for more than five minutes, and they were already squabbling. Jimmy wondered if the ship's crew had been happy to see them disembark when they sailed into port.

"I'm not picking him apart. Right, Jimmy?" his mom asked.

"I'm in one piece," Jimmy confirmed as he searched for a topic to de-escalate the situation.

"Is there something wrong with Bonnie?" his grandma asked, giving him the out he was looking for.

Jimmy stowed the luggage and shut the hatch. The two women watched him closely, or so he guessed since they hadn't removed their sunglasses. "She left me stranded for the last time, and I traded her in for a new car," Jimmy replied.

"Was that wise, dear?" his mother asked. "I thought you were saving for a down payment to buy your own house."

"I still am, but I now have a reliable car with a payment I can afford."

"I think she's a beauty," his grandma replied. "And you can stay with us for as long as you'd like."

"Subaru makes a safe car," his mom said. "And you deserve nice things."

"Thanks, Mom." Jimmy kissed her cheek and opened the rear passenger side door for her. Once she slid inside, he shut the door and repeated the same with his grandmother, only she claimed the shotgun seat.

"It's truly lovely," his grandma said when Jimmy got behind the steering wheel. "Are these leather seats?"

"Yep," he said. "They're easier to keep clean and are more hygienic."

"Very soft and supple too," his mother said. Jimmy glanced at her in the rearview mirror and saw her stroking her hand over the back seat.

"Thanks, Mom."

An awkward lull washed over the car when Jimmy pulled away from the curb. He couldn't say it felt like he was driving strangers home, but their chemistry was definitely off. He needed to pull himself together before he alerted them to his inner turmoil.

"So, how was your trip?" Jimmy asked.

The ladies both spoke at once, paused to laugh, then took turns rehashing every detail of their trip. Jimmy smiled as he listened and acted as a mediator when they butted heads over topics.

"What about you?" his grandma said after they'd caught him up. "You look different."

He glanced over at her in the passenger seat. "It's just the new car."

"Huh-uh," his mom said. Jimmy snapped his gaze up to briefly meet hers in the rearview mirror. "Something else is different. I can't quite put a finger on it. You seem calmer. You normally radiate energy." He glanced at her again, and this time, she'd removed her sunglasses and studied him through narrowed eyes. "You seem content."

"Thanks," Jimmy said.

He thought about her remark. He still felt his zest for life and adventure coursing through him, but it was tempered by the satisfaction and happiness he'd found with Nova. And not just the sexy times. Jimmy felt like Nova saw him in ways no one else could. It was intoxicating and mesmerizing, and he was scared to death it was all about to change. Millie would be leaving for California again in two weeks, but Jimmy's living arrangement was permanent.

Or was it? There was nothing preventing him from moving out, other than he'd grown too comfortable for his own good. Why hadn't he added finding a place of his own to his list of goals?

"Is there a special reason for the change?" his mother asked.

Jimmy kept his eyes on the road because he didn't want to give anything away. "Not really. I've overcome some personal and professional obstacles that have filled me with a different kind of energy."

"Such as…" his mom prompted.

He told her about the weeks spent at the Summer Studio and the friend he'd made in Jill. Then he moved on to making his first pitch in the staff meeting and explained how it went over. He glossed over the conversation with Lois, not going into great detail because it still felt raw. Jimmy even told them about meeting Natalie and her son and the interviews he'd conducted for the project.

"Wow, you have been busy," his grandma said. "I don't know where you get your energy. I need a nap after just listening to you talk." She'd really be bowled over by his bike and paddleboard outings. "I'm still waiting for the part where you tell us about your new man," she said.

"What?" Jimmy asked as he nearly curbed his car while pulling into their driveway. Real smooth, Jimbo .

"You heard me," his grandma said. "I recognize the glow."

Jimmy put his car in park. "Sorry, but you're wrong this time, Grandma," he said.

She snorted and climbed out of the car. "Jimmy, I will not argue with you about my suitcase," she said. "I will happily let you drag it inside for me. I think I'm going to take a shower and grab a nap."

"You won't sleep tonight," Jimmy's mom called out.

His grandma waved her hand dismissively. "Who cares? I'm retired."

Jimmy met his mother around the back of his Subaru. "Wow, that must've been some vacation. I expected her to come home and organize a menu and shopping list to restock the house with food."

"She already did it on the flight home," his mom quipped. She scrutinized Jimmy closely before nodding. "I think she's right, but please don't tell her I said so."

"About not adhering to a bedtime schedule when retired?" Jimmy asked.

His mom laughed and shook her head. "Nice try," she said. "You've met someone."

Jimmy took a deep breath. What was the point in lying to her? "I have, but I…it…"

She waved him off. "Are you happy?" she asked. Jimmy nodded. "And are you being safe?"

"Of course," Jimmy replied.

"That's good enough for me," she said with a smile. That was the last thing he expected his overprotective mother to say. Just what the hell had happened on their cruise?

They wheeled the luggage into the house. Jimmy set his grandma's inside her room before heading to the kitchen. "Would you like some coffee or tea, Mom?"

"Coffee sounds lovely," she replied. "Can we make it decaf, though? Unlike Grandma, I don't want to be up all night. I love my early mornings."

"Sure," Jimmy said.

He started the pot and checked out the premade dinner he'd thawed out in the refrigerator overnight. It looked like a pizza casserole, which happened to be one of his favorites. Jimmy turned on the oven to preheat it, then set the disposable tinfoil baking dish on the countertop. He glanced up when his mother reentered the kitchen a few moments later.

"That didn't take you long," Jimmy said.

She shook her head. "I'm not finished unpacking." There was something off in her voice. She sounded sad and resigned.

"Is everything okay?"

"You tell me, Jimmy," she replied. "Are we okay?"

She'd figured it out, but how? He was too flabbergasted to speak at first, so he pulled a kitchen chair from the table and sat down. "How?" he asked.

His mom pulled out the chair across from his and sat down. "How had I figured out you'd looked through my accordion file? Or are you asking how I could've lied to you for so long?"

"Both."

His mother took a deep, shaky breath. "I'd left the file on my bed in case there was an accident on the cruise and you needed to access important documents." Of course that had been her logic. Since Jimmy assumed the placement had been accidental and returned it to the closet, his mother had known he'd been in her room. Jimmy hadn't attempted to return the items to the slot in the exact way he'd found them either. Maybe he would have if he hadn't been so stunned by the revelation. "The rest requires a bit more conversation," she said.

Jimmy nodded and said, "It doesn't have to be now."

"I think it does."

"Let's get some coffee first," Jimmy said. "Would you like a cookie or a brownie? I have some left over from a weekend outing."

She shook her head. "No. I bet I've gained ten pounds on the cruise. They cater to your every need."

Jimmy fixed them both a cup of coffee and returned to his seat. He reached over and covered his mom's hand. "I love you. Whatever your reasoning, I know for a fact you were only trying to protect me."

Her lips trembled, and she swallowed hard. "I was," she said shakily. "God, this is so hard. I don't know where to begin."

"Take a sip of coffee and start from the beginning," he told her.

His mom did just that, then set the coffee down. She cupped the mug, and Jimmy noticed her fingers were trembling. "I'm sure you've noticed your grandmother can be a little on the protective side."

" Really ?" Jimmy teased.

His mom reached out and ruffled his hair. "Brat. She had valid reasons. You know she was widowed at twenty-three years old." Jimmy nodded. "And Grandma's told you that most of the males in our older generations were lost at sea. But I don't think either of us has told you that her big brother drowned during a boating accident with his friends. Your great-grandmother had forbidden her kids from going near the water, but he was sixteen and wanted to do whatever his friends were. Grandma said her mother never recovered from his death."

"How sad," Jimmy said. "I can't believe you talked her into taking the cruise."

His mom smiled ruefully. "I can't either. Maybe we both needed to conquer some fears and learn to let go of the past. Or maybe her worry for my safety overrode her phobia of the water."

Jimmy nodded. "And what other fears did you battle while away?"

His mom took a shaky breath and reached across the table to take both of Jimmy's hands in hers. "Several things. Most of them were personal demons, but a few involved you." She squeezed his hands before letting go. "I fear what will happen to our relationship if I continue to cling too tightly and can't learn to let go."

"Where am I going?" Jimmy teased, hoping to lighten the mood.

"Anywhere you want, my boy. I know what happens when parents hold on too tightly. My uncle rebelled by going on that fateful boat ride with inexperienced sailors, and I ran off to New Orleans to escape my mother's suffocating clutches. I'd lived at home during college and hadn't experienced any of the things other girls my age had, and it drove me crazy. By the time I reached thirty, I was still a virgin and had never really been on a date."

Jimmy narrowed his eyes. "I've seen pictures, Mom. You were stunningly beautiful. You still are," he added.

She blushed and smiled. "There were boys in high school who showed some interest in me and a few guys in college, but I was so afraid. Loving meant losing. It was smarter to guard my heart and stay home where it was safe."

"Until you met my dad?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes, but something else was the catalyst that sent me to New Orleans first," she said. "The last of my single friends had taken a job there, and she invited me for a visit. Lord, how I fought with Grandma over the trip, but I was determined. Grandma must've realized it too because she eventually stopped fighting me and bought me a lovely dress for my bus ride to Louisiana."

"You went alone?" Jimmy asked.

"Yes, and I was terrified but not enough to dampen my excitement," she replied. "I figured Grandma expected me to change my mind at the last minute, so I boarded the bus with my head held high. I thought I'd hate the drive to New Orleans, but I'd met so many interesting people."

"Mom," Jimmy said, "please tell me I wasn't conceived on a Greyhound bus."

She snorted. "Of course not. Most of the travelers were older, but a few young soldiers were returning home for leave. I just enjoyed chatting with folks from different backgrounds. It's how we grow as people."

"So you arrived in New Orleans…" Jimmy prompted.

"And what a magical city she is," his mom said. "I was so enamored with the music, food, and the diversity. Clara, that's my friend, rented a home in the French Quarter, and I loved to people-watch. I felt freer than I ever had in my life and wasn't ready to go back home, so I didn't. I applied for a teaching job and worked as a waitress over the summer until I landed a position with a school."

"Is the diner where you met him?" Jimmy asked.

She took a deep breath and nodded. "Jack Alsop was the sexiest thing I'd ever seen. Hair as black as night, swoony brown eyes, and a permanent sneer on his lips. He rode a motorcycle and wore a leather jacket, even when it felt like a hundred degrees outside. All the waitresses flirted with him except me. I was terrified of the man." His mother's voice trailed off, and she stared off for a few seconds before she shook her head. "Maybe that's why he was so drawn to me."

"And you were drop-dead gorgeous," Jimmy reminded her.

She giggled and blushed. "Jack said as much, but I think he liked my hesitation and innocence."

"Gross," Jimmy grumbled.

His mom lowered her head, but Jimmy could still see the blush on the curve of her cheeks. "Jack was a very complicated man. He was bitter about a falling out he had with his family and mad at the world."

"Except when he was with you?" Jimmy asked.

She lifted her head and met his gaze. "Yeah. We were the odd couple for sure, but he set my blood on fire." Jimmy must've made a sound of distress because his mother grimaced and said, "Sorry, honey. But it's true. I'd been so meek and cautious my entire life, but Jack challenged me to be braver. I longed to be wild and free, and for a time, I was just that."

"Which led to your pregnancy?" he asked.

Nodding, she said, "For the most part, we were careful, but it only takes one slipup to conceive a baby. I was terrified of telling him."

"How'd he take the news?"

"Surprisingly well," she replied. "I think Jack saw fatherhood as his second chance to prove he could be somebody. He could start a new family to replace the one he lost. Jack said that you and I would be his world, and he asked me to marry him."

"How did Grandma take it?" Jimmy asked.

"How do you think?"

"Not very well," he mused. "Did she come to the wedding?"

"We just got married at the courthouse," his mom explained. "Jack worked at a motorcycle repair shop, and my teacher's salary was nothing to write home about. Grandma wasn't happy with my decisions, but she sent us a check to help us with the down payment for our first apartment. Grandma rode a bus to New Orleans a week before my due date so she could be there to help me after you were born." It sounded like something his grandmother would do.

"How'd she and my dad get along?" Jimmy asked.

"Jack had landed an excellent factory job a few months before you were born," she replied. "So he felt like he was sitting at the top of the world. Jack claimed he had a perfect wife and a baby on the way. Grandma was seeing him at his best, and when you arrived…" His mom paused to rub her eyes. "Jack said you were the most beautiful baby to ever live. Lying with you on the couch was his favorite way to spend an evening."

The picture his mom painted was charming and sweet and nothing like he imagined. Something awful must've happened for her to return to Savannah with an infant. Rather than push, Jimmy waited for her to reveal the rest.

His mom took another sip of coffee. "Then something happened at his new job, and though I never could get a straight answer out of Jack, it was bad enough for them to fire him. He was denied unemployment, and we found ourselves living on just my salary. I assured him it was temporary and told him he'd find something else. Well, your father did try to find another job but kept striking out." She took a deep breath. "Jack claimed his two previous employers—the factory and the motorcycle shop—had spread vicious rumors about him, which meant he was blackballed from any decent job. Even though he adored you, staying home with his son was emasculating and a blow to his pride. The man was supposed to provide for the family, you know."

"I take it he acted out in unsavory ways," Jimmy said softly.

She nodded. "He drowned his sorrows at a dive bar, which introduced him to some shady characters. He started working as a collector for mafia types."

"Oh, shit."

"Those men eventually accused him of skimming money and beat Jack to within an inch of his life," she said. "Once you get tangled up with those kinds of people, you never get out. Jack worried you or I would be targeted next. The only way we would be safe is if we left the city."

"He told you this?" Jimmy asked.

"Not then," she replied. "The truth came out much later. Jack's first goal was to get us to safety, so he did the one thing that would send me home to my mother."

Jimmy's heart sank. "Another woman?"

"Several," she replied softly. "He didn't bother trying to hide it."

Rage on his mother's behalf surged inside him. "What an asshole."

"Jack could be, yes," his mom said. "Lord knows he made a ton of mistakes, but I saw the good beneath the bad."

"What happened after you left him?"

"Nothing right away," she said. "I'd hoped he would ride up to the house and tell me it was all a mistake. Jack loved us, Jimmy. I knew it then, but I wasn't brave enough to fight for him. Eventually, his connections to the mafia caught up to Jack, and he went to prison for a few years. That's when I decided to divorce him and move on with my life. I worked through an attorney, but your father asked him to pass along a letter to me. In it, he confessed his true feelings. He loved us with his whole heart but would never be the husband and father we deserved. Settling down wasn't in his nature, and he'd been fooling himself. He expressed wishes that things had worked out differently and wanted us to have a happy life. Jack was the one who suggested I tell you that he'd died when you were an infant. He claimed it wasn't a physical death, but the guy who'd had a snowball's chance in hell at a decent life had metaphorically died."

"And you agreed?

"Not at first," his mom said, "but I had a whole lot of shame, anger, and regret rolled up in my emotions for him. The lie was easier. Once I said it out loud, I couldn't take it back. When you first asked about your dad, I just told you he'd passed away. When you were older, you started to push back for more information. By then, he was gone, and I could be honest about his death. I'm sorry I hurt you, Jimmy."

He sat back in his chair and tried to process everything she'd said. It made a lot of sense and was better than the worst-case scenario he'd imagined. "I thought he didn't want me."

"Oh, honey. You couldn't be more wrong. Jack adored your every breath." She reached across the table and retook Jimmy's hands. "Would you like to read the letter? I saved it all these years. I take it out and read it on days when I miss him."

"Still? After everything that happened?"

"Jack's the only man I've ever loved, and I haven't wanted to risk my heart again," his mom admitted. "I became Grandma two point oh. I tried to shield and protect you from everything, especially when you started to display your father's adventurous streak as a toddler. You were baby Evel Knievel in your little walker."

Jimmy chuckled. "Hell on wheels, huh?"

"Yes," she replied. "As much as I loved Jack Alsop, I didn't want my precious boy to turn out like him. I took things too far and my overprotectiveness squelched your daring nature."

"Delayed, not squelched," Jimmy countered. "It's still there."

"I have so many regrets," she whispered.

"I have none," Jimmy said. Maybe he would've tried various things sooner, but he couldn't imagine sharing his first sexual experience with anyone other than Nova. If his mother had made different choices, he probably wouldn't have met the man. And that wasn't worth thinking about.

"You deserved to live outside your father's shadow, but I was too scared to see it," his mother said.

Jimmy rose from the chair and rounded the table to hug her. "I've had a remarkable life, Mom. I love you so much."

"You're my greatest treasure, Jimmy," she said tearfully. "I still want to protect you from experiencing hurt, but that's not living."

"We'll work on it together, okay?" he asked.

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. "Would you like to read the letter Jack wrote me?"

Did he? Yes, but what good would come of it? "Maybe someday."

The oven beeped, signaling it was ready. His mom looked at the pan on the counter and back to Jimmy.

"I think it's pizza casserole. I bought ingredients for a tossed salad if you're hungry."

She smiled and said, "I should probably just eat the salad, but what the hell. I can start eating healthier tomorrow."

They worked together building the salad and chatted about the things Jimmy had gotten up to. He told her about the bike adventure and paddleboarding. His mom tensed but told Jimmy she was proud of him.

"Just don't tell your grandma yet, okay?" she asked. "Baby steps."

Jimmy kissed her cheek. "Fair enough."

"So," his mom hemmed, "tell me about this guy."

Jimmy chuckled. "I thought you said my happiness and safe sex practices were enough for you for now."

"That was then," she quipped. "Now, I want to know a little more."

"I'm not sure it's the kind of relationship you talk to your mom about," Jimmy confessed. "I don't know what kind of future we have together, or even if there's a possibility of one."

She cocked her head to the side and studied him. "Is that how you really feel, or is that your guarded heart speaking?"

Jimmy blew out a deep breath. "Maybe a little of both," he admitted.

"I'm here anytime you want to talk," she told him.

"Thanks, Mom."

It was hours later before Jimmy had a chance to reach out to Nova. Then he started doubting if he should. Jimmy wasn't sure if Nova was still awake, and he didn't want to interrupt his time with Millie. The conversation with his mom kept replaying, and bits and pieces made Jimmy wonder if maybe things with Nova were happening too fast. What kind of future would they have? Could Nova envision a life with him? Blowing out a frustrated breath, Jimmy closed his eyes and conjured up the moments that stood out to him the most. They weren't the sexy times, but the moments before and after when Nova had been completely vulnerable with him.

Jimmy reached for his phone and texted, What I wouldn't give to be strolling on the beach with you right now. He hit send before he could talk himself out of it. Nova called him moments later.

"Hey," Jimmy said quietly. "Did I wake you?"

Nova chuckled and replied, "Nope. Suddenly, Miss Millie June is on West Coast time."

"Oh. She's being lively, huh?" Jimmy asked.

"I don't think she's paused to take a breath since she got in the car."

Jimmy laughed. "You sound deliriously happy about it."

"So happy, but it sounds like you had a rough day."

Jimmy took a deep breath and said, "My mom and I had our talk."

"Oh," Nova replied. "You just jumped right in, huh?"

"No. She brought it up," Jimmy told him, then filled Nova in.

"Do you want me to call Kai and ask him to stay with Millie?" Nova asked. "I can shimmy up your trellis."

"You're afraid of heights," Jimmy pointed out.

Nova's laugh rumbled through their connection. "You're worth it."

Jimmy wanted to see Nova so much it scared him, especially after hearing about his mom's foray into love. Was he destined to be as reckless as his father?

"Jimmy?" Nova asked.

"Sorry," he said. "I zoned out there for a minute. No, I don't want to pull you away from Millie on her first night back. Just hearing your voice makes everything better."

They chatted for an hour until both of them yawned repeatedly.

"I think this is where we hang up," Jimmy told him.

"Sweet dreams."

"Sweet dreams, Nova."

Even though he was exhausted, Jimmy stared up at his ceiling for a long time. Snippets of their conversations and their time together replayed in his mind on an endless reel, stirring up emotions that both frightened and enticed him. Did he cave to his fears and pull away from Nova or push through them?