Twenty

"A re you sure you know what you're doing?" Millie asked him.

Nova looked around at the mixing bowls, ingredients, and utensils scattered around his kitchen. It was a fucking mess. He'd been trying to replicate Jimmy's pancake recipe for Saturday morning breakfast, but he'd failed every time he attempted to whip the egg whites. He'd remembered to chill the damn bowl and everything. "Not really," Nova admitted.

He didn't just mean making pancakes either. Things had felt off since they'd talked on Wednesday evening. They'd exchanged some texts and had a brief chat or two over the next few days, but that was it. Nova couldn't say Jimmy had exactly ghosted him, but it felt like he'd pulled away. Why? Nova replayed every encounter and conversation, trying to figure out what he'd done wrong, but he hadn't found the key to the mystery.

"Maybe we can go get donuts," Millie suggested.

Nova discarded his latest batch of egg whites, then ruffled his daughter's hair. "We don't give up that easily."

Millie pointed to the carton. "You're almost out of eggs."

Nova looked inside and saw he had just enough for one last attempt. If his egg whites didn't peak, he'd come up with an alternative plan. Nova read the recipe he'd found again and knew he hadn't forgotten a step.

"I have an idea," Nova said, removing his phone from his pocket. He dialed Jimmy's number and hoped he picked up.

"Hey," Jimmy said when he answered.

"I have an emergency."

"Oh my God!" Jimmy blurted. "Where are you? Are you hurt? Do you need an ambulance?"

Charmed by Jimmy's concern, Nova chuckled. "Nothing like that. I have a kitchen emergency and hope you can help me."

Jimmy released a deep sigh. God, it felt good to know the man cared so much about him, which only made their strain harder to comprehend. "I can try to help. What's up?"

"I'm trying to replicate your pancakes for Millie, and I'm failing miserably," Nova admitted.

"The egg whites?" he asked.

"Yes," Nova growled. "I can't get them as stiff as you can."

"Are you sure we're talking about egg whites?" Jimmy asked. Nova was glad to hear the playfulness in his voice. "When are you adding the sugar?"

"At the beginning before I start whipping them," Nova replied.

"Ah," Jimmy said. "There's your problem. I add the cream of tartar to the egg whites, then whip for about a minute before I start sprinkling in the sugar."

"Why don't the recipe instructions tell me that?" Nova asked.

"Can't answer you since I didn't write the recipe," Jimmy replied.

"I'm still not confident I can handle this, and I'm down to my last few eggs," Nova said. "It's now or never. I don't suppose you're willing to coach me and give me pointers."

"You mean like over FaceTime?"

"I was thinking in-person instructions," Nova replied and mentally crossed his fingers.

"Isn't Millie there? I thought we didn't want to confuse her."

"And I thought we got rid of all the rules except for staying honest with each other. I honestly want to see you," Nova told him.

Jimmy's hesitation came through loud and clear in his silence. The hurt was sharper than Nova expected. He was about to let Jimmy off the hook when he spoke up.

"I really want to see you and Millie too." The longing in Jimmy's voice soothed the ache he'd felt just moments before.

Nova took a deep breath and reminded himself not to give up. "Please come over and teach me how to do this the right way."

"Is that the only reason you want me to come over?" Jimmy asked.

Nova ducked around the corner of the kitchen to give them a little privacy. "Not even close," he whispered. "I have to warn you, I plan to steal kisses every chance I get."

"I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Bring your swim trunks and sunscreen," Nova told him.

Thirteen minutes later, Nova's doorbell rang.

"Who's here?" Millie asked.

"Guess we should go see."

He unlocked the front door and opened it to reveal the man who made him yearn for things Nova couldn't name.

"Jimmy!" Millie yelled and launched herself at him.

"Hey there, June Bug," Jimmy said, scooping her up in his arms. "Did you grow while you were in California?"

She looked at Nova with an excited expression. "Did I, Daddy?"

"I think a little."

Millie wiggled out of Jimmy's arms and said, "Let's go check!" Then she sprinted down the hall toward her bedroom.

Nova closed the front door and pulled Jimmy into his arms. "She has a fairy princess growth chart in her room. I have about a minute before she comes looking for me." Nova pressed his mouth against Jimmy's but didn't deepen the kiss. Just the simple touch was enough for the time being. Nova pulled back and looked into Jimmy's amber eyes. "I've missed you."

Jimmy sighed and practically melted in his embrace. "I've missed you too."

Nova brushed his hand over Jimmy's cheek. "Are we okay?"

Jimmy angled into his touch like he always did. "Yeah."

"Daddy!" Millie yelled. "Come see if I grew."

Nova laughed and dropped one more kiss on Jimmy's lips. "Be right back. I'll meet you in the kitchen. Please forgive the mess I made, and don't you dare try to clean a single dish."

"Okay."

Nova knew better, so he hustled to Millie's room and measured her current height. She'd only grown half an inch since the last measurement, but she seemed highly pleased with her progress. She skipped out of her room in search of their guest. As he suspected, Jimmy was cleaning up his mess.

"I grew half a foot," Millie announced when she reached the kitchen.

"Half an inch," Nova corrected.

"That's awesome," Jimmy said, giving her a high five. "About this mess, though. Why didn't you call me sooner? Yikes."

"You're here now, and that's what counts." Nova removed a freshly washed and chilled bowl from the freezer and set it on the counter. He cracked an egg and carefully made sure only the whites went into the bowl.

"You're doing a great job so far," Jimmy said, stepping up beside him. Millie was on the other side of the island and completely engrossed in her coloring book, so she didn't see her favorite redhead place his hand at the small of Nova's back. It felt like a brand, and he nearly fumbled the next egg.

He managed to get all of them separated and into the bowl. Then Nova added the cream of tartar before reaching for the electric mixer. He held it up in front of his face and said, "Come on, girl. Don't let me down."

Millie shook her head and giggled.

"You've got this," Jimmy told him.

Nova fired up the mixer and whipped the eggs until Jimmy tapped him on the shoulder. "I should add the sugar now?" he asked.

"Not all at once," Jimmy replied. "Mix with one hand and sprinkle the sugar in with the other."

"That's asking for a lot of coordination," Nova replied. "Here goes…" He whipped with one hand and sprinkled with the other until all the sugar was gone. "Oh my God. It's happening," he said when the first peaks started to form. "How much longer? Am I stiff enough, yet?"

Jimmy fisted Nova's shirt, and he could tell the man was fighting off a laugh. "Just a little longer," he said. Nova continued to whip until Jimmy told him to stop. "Perfect. Now it's time to fold in the other ingredients."

"How does a person fold?" Nova asked.

"Didn't you watch when I made them for you?"

Millie snapped her head up. "You made pancakes for my daddy?" she asked.

Jimmy stiffened, but Nova took the opportunity to prove he was ready for a deeper connection. "Yes, he made me the absolute best pancakes in the world."

"Yay!" Millie cheered and clapped before returning her attention to her coloring book.

"I don't know about the best," Jimmy said shyly.

Nova wanted to kiss Jimmy's lips so badly, but he wasn't sure how Jimmy would feel about it. He settled for saying, "Absolute best. Now, about that folding method…"

"You'll spoon the egg whites on top, then gently work them into the batter. Would you like me to demonstrate?" Jimmy asked.

"Please." Nova stepped aside to cede control.

Jimmy gently spooned the fluffy egg white mixture on top, then stuck the spatula inside the bowl. "A lot of people do a figure-eight method, rotating their wrists to bring the batter from the bottom on top of the whites. Then you repeat until both layers are fully incorporated."

"You don't do this figure-eight thing?"

"Nope. I just focus on the center of the bowl and rotate my wrist to bring the bottom layer up and over the center of the egg whites, turning the bowl to make sure I'm going around the entire circumference. Let me show you. Center to the edge and back to the center." He demonstrated until half the egg white mixture was combined into the pancakes. "Now your turn," Jimmy said, handing him the spatula.

Nova grimaced as he accepted it. "It looks like this requires a delicate touch. I'm not your man."

"I don't agree." Jimmy's eyes darkened, and Nova knew he wasn't referring to kitchen skills. The praise did funny things to Nova's stomach, and he kissed the man without thinking about it.

"I saw that," Millie exclaimed.

"You were meant to," Nova countered, smiling at Jimmy's stunned expression.

"Are you boyfriends?" Millie asked.

Nova quirked a brow. "Are we boyfriends, Jimmy?" A few days ago, Nova would've been more confident in his answer. Maybe he'd screwed up by putting the guy on the spot. Shit, he was terrible at this.

A slow smile spread across Jimmy's face, then he looked at Millie. "We are," he told Nova's daughter. "Is that okay with you?"

"Can you do mermaid hair?" she asked.

"Easy there, June Bug," Nova said. "Jimmy isn't moving in with us." Yet , his heart whispered.

"Damn," she grumbled.

Nova had to work hard to suppress the laughter bubbling inside him before he could correct his daughter's language. "Start at the center?" he asked Jimmy.

"I think it's easier, but you might prefer the figure-eight method."

"Center to the edge and back to the center," Nova repeated. He stuck the spoon in the bowl and rotated his wrist to pull the batter from the bottom and fold it over the top. "Oh, that's easier than it sounds. Why do they call it folding? It makes me think of squares where this is a circular motion." He rotated the bowl and made another fold.

"I have no idea," Jimmy replied. "I just know it combines the two layers without breaking down the air."

"I'm going to research it," Nova said. "I just find the dichotomy unacceptable." Beside him, Jimmy started to laugh. "What?"

Jimmy shook his head. "Or you could just accept it and move on. Do you really want to launch a campaign to change a cooking term that's existed longer than we've been alive?"

"How do you know how old the term is?" Nova challenged.

Jimmy held up his hands in surrender. "How you choose to spend your time on the internet is your business."

Nova leaned forward and kissed Jimmy's smiling lips. Millie giggled, pulling their attention back to the charming imp sitting across from them.

"Did you catch that one too?" Nova asked. Just in case she didn't, he kissed Jimmy again.

"Are we going to eat sometime today?" she asked.

Nova and Jimmy laughed at her affronted expression, then got serious about making breakfast. Nova was determined to cook the pancakes on the griddle but got Jimmy's input during the first batch. The man was particular about the number of bubbles showing in the batter before flipping them over.

"Now?" Nova asked.

"A little longer."

They repeated the process a few more times before Jimmy gave the okay. Nova made a note of the perfectly golden spheres so he could replicate them on the next batch. While he cooked, Jimmy and Millie put the toppings bar together.

"This is a lot of stuff," Millie said as she added blueberries to a bowl.

"My favorite is peanut butter and bananas," Jimmy told her.

"Get out of here," his daughter said.

"Millie," Nova admonished. "I don't know where you learned that phrase, but you're not allowed to use it until you're much older."

"Eight?" she asked.

Nova snorted. "More like eighteen."

"I don't like peanut butter," Millie whispered to Jimmy.

He gently tugged on one of her pigtails. "We can still be friends," he whispered back.

Jimmy and Nova stuck to peanut butter and bananas while Millie June went with fresh fruit and lots of whipped cream. She did try a bite of her daddy's pancakes to see if she liked peanut butter better when it was drenched in maple syrup.

"I like it a little better," she said before digging back into her own pancakes. "These are the best pancakes in the world."

"Thank you," Jimmy and Nova said at once.

"What are we doing today?" Millie asked.

Nova tilted his head and rolled through the options. "How about a bike ride and ice cream?"

"Sounds fun to me," Jimmy replied.

Millie cheered and announced she needed to find the perfect outfit. She wanted to wear a frilly princess dress and a pair of rain boots with dancing frogs and was momentarily crushed when Nova nixed the idea. He explained the dress could get caught in the spokes and the boots were a little too clumsy for pedaling.

"I'll wear shorts and my pink flip-flops."

"You need tennis shoes," Nova told her.

"Fine," Millie said as she stomped to her room.

Nova looked over at Jimmy, who was biting his lip to keep from laughing out loud. "She's something, right?"

"Best kid ever."

"I can't argue with you there," Nova agreed, "but I'm a little worried for my sanity when she reaches her teen years."

"Don't waste a moment worrying about that. Enjoy this age instead."

"Good advice," Nova said, pressing a quick kiss to Jimmy's lips. "After reading the Ask Aimee segment, it seems like giving guidance comes pretty naturally to you."

Jimmy groaned. "How'd you know it was me? I didn't tell you when my responses were going to print."

"I've read every piece you've ever published, and I'd know your keen intelligence and compassion anywhere."

"Really?" Jimmy asked.

Nova tilted his head. "Which part are you doubting?"

"I didn't know you read my articles."

"More than once," Nova admitted, "so I already knew about your love for antiquing before you geeked out in your suite."

"So, you think I did okay with my advice?"

"I think you're amazing," Nova said.

"Ready!" Millie yelled as she ran down the hallway.

Jimmy moved to step back, but Nova tightened his hold. "I'm not ashamed to show affection for my boyfriend in front of my daughter." Jimmy nodded and smiled before kissing him once more.

They went back to Tiedman Park and had a lovely day. They stopped at the various playgrounds so Millie could run and play with other kids.

"What I wouldn't give to have that energy again," Nova said an hour into their excursion. "She's like the Energizer Bunny. Just keeps going and going and going."

"I like your stamina just fine," Jimmy said, then took a drink of water.

Nova turned and propped his hand on the tree trunk above Jimmy's head. "You've been really quiet these past few days. I thought you were pulling away from me."

Jimmy glanced at him briefly before returning his gaze to the play area where Millie was whooping and hollering with the other kids. "I think I was too," he admitted. "Not intentionally, but the parallels between my parents' whirlwind relationship and ours caught me off guard. You're nothing like my dad, but what if I am?"

"You're everything right with this world. And I don't want to go back to the lonely person I was before I met you." Jimmy turned to him and Nova slid his sunglasses on top of his head. "Now I can see your beautiful eyes."

Jimmy released a shaky breath. "I don't want to go back either. I like me better when I'm with you."

"Will you stay with me?"

"You mean overnight?" he asked, shifting his gaze back to the playground. "What about Millie? And what would Scott think?"

"I appreciate how considerate you are of Scott's and Millie's feelings," Nova said. "My ex-husband knows I wouldn't introduce just anyone to our daughter. And Millie is crazy about you. Do you know she asked about you every night while she was away?"

Jimmy's smile was bright enough to power the East Coast. He looked back at the playground, and Nova could almost hear his gears grinding as he weighed his wants against Millie's best interests. Nova had no desire to pressure the man, but he'd kick himself in the ass if he didn't give it his all.

"What's best for me is also what's best for Millie," Nova said softly.

Jimmy released a shaky breath. "I don't want her to get hurt if our relationship doesn't work out."

"Nothing lasts forever," Nova said. "I don't mean to sound like a pessimist, but it's honest. Everything under the sun has an expiration date. Stars, humans, relationships, and those mandalas you love so much. Acknowledging the existence of impermanence is supposed to make you appreciate the moment you're in, not make you withdraw from things because you're afraid of losing them."

Jimmy laughed. "I find the scientific side of you very sexy."

"Yeah?" Nova asked, stepping closer. "Wait until I pull out my big telescope."

"I've already seen it."

Nova laughed. "I mean the actual telescope I keep in the shed."

"Oh," Jimmy said shakily. "I want to stay, and I trust you to know what's best for Millie."

Relief flooded through Nova's system, but it was short-lived when he heard his daughter cry from the playground. She was sitting on the ground next to the spinning merry-go-round, holding her arm and searching for him. Nova and Jimmy ran toward her as one of the mothers marched onto the scene, calling out for her son.

"Millie, are you okay?" Nova asked as he knelt beside her.

Jimmy gently lifted her arm and said, "Let's take a look."

She lifted her scraped elbow before pointing at the blond boy standing nearby with his mother. The woman looked both angry and worried. "He pushed me off the spinny thing," Millie said.

"I'm so sorry," the woman said to Nova and Jimmy. "Ronald, you apologize to this little girl and her daddies."

"I'm sorry," the boy said sheepishly. "I didn't do it on purpose, Mama. I got dizzy and fell into her."

The little boy looked properly contrite, but his mom didn't look the least bit mollified. The kid didn't need him piling on. "Accidents happen, buddy," Nova said before turning his full attention back to his sniffling daughter. "Does it hurt to move your arm?"

Millie slowly flexed her elbow a few times, then shook her head. "The scrape burns."

"I have a first aid kit," the mother offered.

Nova smiled up at her. "I have one in my backpack. No worries. She's fine. I think it just startled her."

"I'm really sorry," the woman said again before tugging her son away. The little boy waved at Millie over his shoulder.

"Bye, Ronald," she called out, then turned to Nova. "Can we go get ice cream now?" All was right in Millie's world again.

"Absolutely," Nova said, scooping her up off the ground. "Let's get your scrape cleaned up and head back to Jimmy's car."

The ice cream parlor was packed, so they decided to make a run to the grocery store to get stuff for a barbecue and homemade sundaes.

"This is the best day ever," Millie said before falling asleep in the back seat.

"And this is a girl who just spent two weeks at Disneyland," Nova told Jimmy. "That's pretty remarkable."

"You know what else is impressive?" he asked. Nova saw the wicked smile on Jimmy's lips and knew a zinger was coming.

"I'll bite."

"That mom back at the park didn't assume you were my dad."

"Little shit," Nova growled as he reached over to cup the back of Jimmy's neck.

Millie didn't stir when Jimmy pulled up to the house, so Nova carried his sleeping angel to her room and removed her shoes. He found Jimmy sitting on the living room sofa.

"As much as I want to pull you into my bedroom to do wicked things to you, our reprieve will be very brief," Nova said. "Millie doesn't nap often, and when she does, they're short power naps. That means we need to rest up before the little imp wakes." Nova reclined on the couch and pulled Jimmy into his arms. "On the bright side, Millie June sleeps hard at bedtime and rarely wakes up. We'll have plenty of time for wicked things later."

Jimmy's laugh vibrated against Nova's chest. "I think I'm too keyed up to sleep."

"Yeah?" Nova asked. "What would you rather be doing?"

"You," Jimmy said, "but I'd settle for making brownies to go with the sundaes."

"Or we could make out now and bake them later when Millie June wakes up," Nova suggested.

Jimmy smiled up at him. "Now that's an excellent time-management strategy."

"Well, it comes in handy at work," Nova said, "I don't always break up fights about Star Trek ."

"Of course not," Jimmy agreed.

"On Friday, I thought they were going to throw fists over Star Wars ," Nova told him.

"God save the science geeks," Jimmy said before raising his head and planting a firm kiss against Nova's mouth.

For the first time in too long, Nova slid his tongue between Jimmy's perfect lips for a long, lazy kiss until all thoughts of sci-fi shows or movies faded to the back of his mind. He gave all his attention to the living fantasy in his arms instead.