13. Summer

13

SUMMER

C hange.

That's what the fall season is a sign of.

My head rests on the back of the seat while Nash drives his SUV. I have to smile to myself because I doubt he intended for this car to become one with a sleeping baby in the back. I'm really not sure why he is sliding into the whole uncle role so easily, but he is.

Nash glances in the rearview mirror. "That kid is like a mystical baby creature or something. He's never really fussy, is he?"

I scoff a laugh. "He is. When he was born, the first month was hell. Didn't really want to sleep. Now looking back, I'm kind of grateful that he didn't. It meant Zac had more waking moments with Bo."

Way to go, Summer. Just cut the air in half again.

"I'm sorry I keep bringing up your brother." I observe Nash who stays focused on the road.

"It's okay. You don't need to be closed off about it. He is ultimately Bo's father. "

I hum a sound in agreement. "That I know you support. I just don't want us to be reminded of the conflict inside of us."

"Really, it's fine. Besides, if I'm honest, it has crossed my mind today. He would have loved to have done this with Bo. Now I'm stepping in and it isn't quite the same." Nash's voice when he goes soft and exposed is more than a comfort; it lifts light inside of me as we share an understanding.

I extend my fingers to touch his arm gently. "I think we've gotten this out of the way, so let's focus on having a good day. I know the Blisswood farm is more than a winery, but someone mentioned they have a great pumpkin season with cider, too."

"It is. Their connection to Lake Spark also scores bonus points for choosing this place to visit. Sometimes, you see the brothers making a delivery in Lake Spark. They also have family there, too, as someone married Hudson Arrows's son."

"Everyone knows who is who in town." I check once more to see Bo beginning to stir. "Uh-oh, the Little Baby Creature Thing as you sometimes call him is awakening." I find it adorable the way Nash was at first unsure of being around kids, but then he glides right into being a pro at it, and I know that's going to happen today.

"Is he going to be cranky until he gets a snack?"

I nod a few times and reach for my bag on the floor by my feet to search for a soft baby cookie. "Most definitely. That's why I always come prepared." I hold up the cookie with pride, and that half-smile of his stays permanent.

"We're almost there. Like do we need one classic pumpkin or are you going to take it a notch up and we buy a few?"

"I guess as many as your arms can handle."

He chuckles. "Fair play. "

Bo gives me a few blinks before he yawns, and then a smile begins to curve on his chubby little cheeks.

"Remind me to get him a Halloween costume. The Dizzy Duck has a staff party coming up, which I'm sure you know since your executive meetings are at the ice rink and very informative where lots of work gets done." I flash my eyes at him before I stretch my body to the back and hand Bo his snack.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. It's team building, and we do discuss the Dizzy Duck."

I doubt this tremendously. "Really?"

Nash tips his head to the side and grins to himself. "Okay, we mostly listen to Holden complain about the expensive coffee machine breaking and how we are currently using a French press for coffee."

I interrupt and point my finger at him. "Which the guests actually love and feel it's a classic touch."

"Tell that to Holden. But really, the Dizzy Duck is successful without me. There isn't much to discuss."

I'm not sure how I've been so ignorant to the fact that Nash is only supposed to be in town for a short time. Suddenly, a small dose of fear swims inside of me.

Luckily broken by the car coming to a halt in the parking lot.

"Here we are. I get the stroller out of the trunk, right?" Nash asks, oblivious to my thoughts.

I unbuckle my seatbelt. "It's probably better if I use the baby carrier."

"Cool. I'll get him out before he can cause any more crumb damage to my car."

That is such a Nash thing to say, and it does the trick, as all negative thoughts fade away.

We get everything settled and Bo strapped to the front of my body. The weather is great today, with sun and temperatures in the high 50s, but it feels warmer. The farm is gorgeous, well taken care of, and I understand why it's often a weekend hotspot.

"I know the wine is good, but since they do have two rooms for their bed-and-breakfast, then we should be wondering if we're cheating on your business investment and my place of employment," I tease.

"We're good," he assures me and zips up his jacket then yanks my arm, carefully since Bo is in his carrier. "Come on, we have a hay maze to conquer."

I laugh because it's so silly but also perfect. "I like that idea. If you get us lost, then you have to do dishes for a week."

"I'm being sentenced to a chore chart again?" This is the banter I need.

When we enter the maze, I'm already completely lost, and we haven't even turned a corner. "Remember in high school we would all head to the haunted hayride at Pioneer Park outside of town? It's like the only time of year that they don't cater to the kid population."

"That ride was scary shit. After, there was always some crazy party at someone's house that would get out of hand," Nash recalls as he debates which way we go at the fork in the road.

I playfully slap his arm. "You always went as the same thing. No costume at all."

He throws me a cocky look. "Because I didn't need to dress up. I would wear my jersey and I was set."

"Just like reality. I guess fake blood on your jersey wouldn't really be different to your hockey games."

Nash twirls his finger in the air. "Let's backtrack for a second. You were a cat in fishnets with a skirt way too fucking short for my liking."

I cover Bo's ears and smile humorously. "Watch the language around this little guy… and I'm surprised you remember."

He looks at me as if I'm crazy. "I'm not sure any guy that night forgot."

I grin proudly to myself as we continue our stroll and approach a scarecrow. "I'm going to have to find a mom-appropriate costume for my son's first Halloween."

Nash snickers. "You rock the hot-mom thing, wear what you want."

Who would have thought our playful comments wouldn't spook me today. It feels normal, way too quickly. Leading us down a path, I feel him follow in tow.

"I can take that sentence in so many different ways." I'm having a good time, and we're flirting, too. "Priority is figuring out a costume for this little guy." I bounce Bo as his hands reach out.

"I'll do it. Let me be in charge of costume duty… for him, I mean."

My lips quirk out as I mull it over. "It should be a big thing for me to choose, but in all honesty, I don't have the brain power right now, and I'm curious what on earth you might come up with."

"Great."

We arrive at the end of the maze to face the pumpkin patch, and we both breathe in relief. "Oh, thank you, pumpkin lords. Hay is exciting for only like a minute," I pretend to speak to a higher power.

Nash nudges my shoulder with his. "Nah, you loved it. You could walk aimlessly around."

I stand taller and think about it. He's right, I'm kind of relaxed and not overthinking for a few moments. "You have a point," I confirm. "Now pumpkins. What are you benching these days that they used to pay you millions for?"

He smirks at me and my humor. "Summer, we could easily pack the trunk full, but I'm going to say that five feels like a good number for your doorstep."

"I agree," I say and begin to unbuckle the carrier to take Bo out. I turn him around and lean down so he can touch a pumpkin, and that immediately makes me smile. In the corner of my eye, I notice that Nash is admiring the view and takes a photo with his phone. "How could I forget that we need photos?"

"Don't worry. Your superhero is here. Now come on, both of you pose." I listen to my command and face the camera, doing my best to get Bo to cooperate.

This is what we do for what feels like hours but is probably only twenty minutes. "I think we've studied the field enough and are ready to make our choices," I announce.

Nash looks at me, impressed. "Didn't realize we were doing a draft pick for pumpkins. Let's make sure they sign their entry-level contract before they reach my car."

That causes me to laugh hard, nearly making my stomach hurt, and when my laugh calms, I have to ask. "Missing the hockey life already?"

He seems to ponder it as he moves a pumpkin out of the way. "I do, actually, but my focus was getting lost anyhow."

"You had a lot going on in life, it's understandable," I sympathize.

"Maybe, or maybe I was just losing heart in the game. I don't think I miss the social life outside the rink, either."

I consider what might be going through his mind. "Then what awaits you?"

"When I arrived in Lake Spark I didn't know. Now? I'm beginning to wonder if my brother is giving me hints to what exactly life will be."

My eyes snap to the ground to avoid our eyes meeting. "Right. Six weeks and then…"

Nash steps forward and lifts Bo from my arms, and Bo coos. "Actually, I kind of forgot that timeline. I'm too stuck on what's going on between us and how it's kind of… healing, helping, I'm not sure. Seems to be my way of coping, too."

Immediately, my sight zaps to look up, and Nash's face is stoic, but it's because he knows he's delivered a new fact to me. "I kind of thought…"

"That I would sleep with you, try to be an uncle, and leave?"

My eyes drift down, nearly ashamed of the thought. "It was the plan. Not the sleeping-together part but the request from Zac part to stay only six weeks."

"Maybe plans change. It's hard to think past tomorrow. I arrived in Lake Spark not at all thrilled with his wish, because you and I were not on the radar, and I didn't know how to process. We both were not thrilled and showed it. Now? It seems you and I are a lot more than two people dreading a request. I feel too compelled to explore this, but we can both acknowledge that we have two very different approaches of how to handle this situation."

Stepping closer to them, I feel a whoosh travel down my body. "I think I needed that clarification. The timeline factor."

A firm line forms on Nash's mouth, and he focuses his attention on Bo. "One day at a time, right, buddy?"

A second or two then I switch our focus. "Get in position," I tell him, and my hand slips into the pocket of the carrier still loosely buckled around me to grab my cell. "We need some photos of you two. Your parents will lose their cool if they see this. The number of heart emojis your parents send with every Bo picture has made me wonder if they know how to use any other emoji or just insist on pressing the same one a million times." I crack a smile because it's so true and also sweet.

"Geez, they still do that stuff? When I was playing hockey, after every game they would send me the emoji of a flexed muscle and a hockey stick, then repeat that pattern about a thousand times in one message. So don't worry, they have two more emojis in their portfolio." Nash has a warm smile glued to his face as he kneels down and holds Bo on his knee as my son reaches out for a pumpkin.

"It's not every day a parent can say they have a professional hockey player and a doctor as sons. I'm sure they were starstruck even with their own kids. Now stop stalling and give me a photo that is holiday-card worthy."

Nash ruefully shakes his head and glances down at Bo, and that's the shot. I need no more. There is love there. Bo is calm, and Nash seems invested. It's all apparent through the camera and also to me.

It's an overbearing wave of consolation.

I snap a few more photos just in case, until a hand on my shoulder causes me to bring my attention to an older woman who seems to be the grandmother of the little girl running up ahead.

"Do you want me to take a photo of you three together?" she offers.

"That's kind of you to ask. Sure." I show her the button on my screen and scurry to Bo and Nash. Leaning down and balancing on my toes, I touch Nash's shoulder for support. My other hand grabs my son's little hand, and I guess we are all smiling when the old lady takes a photo. I can't see because we all face the same direction, but I feel our elated faces.

I smile and walk back to the older woman. "Thank you so much."

"No problem. It will be a lovely picture, you're a cute little family," she compliments.

I pause for a second and soak in her words. "Thanks."

I glance over my shoulder back to Nash who is throwing goofy faces at Bo who in return is grabbing his nose. Reminding myself that it's okay to have a day to feel like myself again and be hopeful, I throw on a smile, take a deep breath, and place my cell back into the pocket.

"I think we need to load the pumpkins and grab some cider, maybe a few bottles of wine, and while we're at it, I think I saw lemon bars somewhere," I list.

"Someone just got bossy." Nash winks at me.

"That's normally your department." I clearly forgot to filter out innuendo, and now Nash has a devilish grin. My face warms, and I'm well aware that I'm blushing. "Let's just find cider, okay?" Move us along. That's my plan.

We managed to get more photos when we saw a swing by the pond and had a delicious lunch, too. The Blisswood farm doesn't really have many animals, but they let us see the horse when they discovered we're from Lake Spark, and Bo looked at the horse with wonder.

I don't think Bo will sleep on the way back to Lake Spark, but that's okay. Nash and I take a moment to rest before we start the drive, and I take this as an opportunity to catch his fingers and entwine them with mine.

"Thank you for today. It's been a while since I've gotten to kind of turn off," I admit.

Nash brings my knuckle up to his lips for a kiss that is near saccharine. "You need to go easy, Summer. You're allowed to take time when you need it. Beyond the circumstances, I can only imagine just being a mom is tough work. Guys that I used to play with looked like hell when they had a baby at home. I mean, a few even had to sleep in separate rooms away from their kids just to get proper sleep before a game. You're doing it all alone."

"I'm going to give myself a little more compassion, but distraction is also my thing."

I elongate my body and bring my hand to touch the side of his head as I kiss his lips. We're not in public in Lake Spark, nobody can judge me for being in my own little world with Nash. He returns the kiss in full, and it causes me to murmur because it's so perfectly tender, and I wanted it like this, which is why I initiated our lips finding one another. My thumb rubs a circle on his gruff cheek when I pull away with our foreheads touching.

"I've missed this. Being with you as if the world can stop. Kissing you when I want," I convey to him.

"Me too, Summer. Me too." He kisses the tip of my nose.

A break of a cry begins, only to build.

"You totally jinxed us earlier by saying he never cries." I pull away with a wide grin.

Nash chuckles as he starts the car, and I reach back to set the pacifier back in Bo's mouth.

Today felt like a family day, and that's always good for the soul.

With my long t-shirt on, I flop onto the bed where Nash is waiting. It's nice having someone in bed, ready to welcome you with open arms. It's been a very long time since I've had this with a strong flame underneath. My marriage was cuddly, but it lacked the fire. But now Nash is here, and he always had the match.

Straddling him, he grips my hips as he sits up. "You're too beautiful," he murmurs when his lips lightly press into the curve of my neck.

"You've mentioned once or twice, Mr. Ages Well."

Nash growls where my throat meets my collarbone. "Stroking my ego when we're in bed together is a very risky move."

My forearms come up to rest on his shoulders, with my hands linking behind his neck. My pussy is right on top of his hard shaft, and this sheet around his waist has to go or it will just end up a tangled mess.

"I remember all of your risky moves, Nash." My voice is sultry, and I'm so turned on in this moment that I'm about to beg.

Our eyes check in with one another, a mirror of simmering determination. "We both seem to remember." It's a scraped whisper from his throat.

Something inside of me is about to explode, and it's a battle between my pussy and my chest. It's only made worse when he tosses me off and ensures I land on my back, with his body floating over me.

"Arms above your head, Summer." His eyes are piercing me and his voice sweltering. Here is demanding Nash. The Nash that is a reminder that his steely exterior sometimes transfers over into the bedroom.

I obey without question, and I'm rewarded with his hand skimming up my thigh. "I appreciate that you came to bed with no panties. It gets us to our destination sooner."

My entire body curves up into him to build friction. "Where might that be?" I coo .

"My mouth on your pussy right before my cock fills you up."

A moan escapes me from the pure thought. "You're wasting time it seems by talking right now."

That causes him to dare me to taunt him again. "I have no problem flipping you to your stomach to take you right away."

My knees butterfly out, offering myself to him, and the moment his fingers touch my pussy, I'm desperate for him.

Passion is our thing. It's why we could barely be in a room together for years. Patience seems to have paid off, and I ignore every thought of why that is.

Because today I got to see that now can be better if I take steps to move on.