14. Nash

14

NASH

I 'm kissing her again.

We're in the same bed again.

And the way Summer's cheeks are tight, with her swollen lips gently pulled up, it seems she can experience a moment when she is less numb again.

Summer's eyes draw down to me as my mouth trails below her belly while my splayed hands push the thin fabric of her shirt up until my palm rests between her breasts. My mouth? There is only one direction where I plan to go, and she eases me down by weaving her fingers through my hair.

My lips pause and I peer up. "Arms, Summer," I prompt her again.

A sound escapes her mouth to make me aware that she's toying with me. She knew I would remind her of what I want. She ceremoniously stretches her arms over her head again, and I continue my journey, landing right where I want.

My tongue flicks out to sweep across her clit, and we both marvel in the instant electricity that intensifies between us. Her taste on my tongue makes me eager for more, and my dick is ready to plunge inside of her .

Hooking my arms underneath her knees, I widen her and dive in again to lap her up and down a few times until I circle her clit again then suck. Her body jolts from the sensation, and pride roars through me that her body is mine to play with.

"I'm addicted to you all over," I murmur to her and scrape my lips along her inner thigh, with her silky skin imprinting on my lips.

"Nash, I need you," she purrs as she props her upper body up on her elbows, enabling her to receive a better view of me.

My eyes feel stormy. Summer is mine, only mine, and I'm scared I might reach so deep inside of her that she will scream, but today was a special day. Or at least, it felt that way. A glimpse of what I once dreamed then let go of when she was no longer mine, and apparently, I didn't need to let go, only hold on and wait.

I drop her legs because my body now provides the stability to keep her open since I'm quick to drift over Summer to steal a kiss, a quick one that I receive before her hand comes up to caress my cheek. Our eyes seal together, with nothing from the outside world able to break this moment.

Between us, our hands meet to pull down my boxer briefs, and she wraps her hand around my length, causing my eyes to close for a few seconds to enjoy Summer having me in her hold.

"Please, Nash," she begs, already guiding my shaft to where she needs me.

"Summer, I warned you. Hands above your head. Your body is mine, and I'll ensure we both get what we need." My fingers lock around her wrists to rocket her arms straight back up to where they need to stay. Her fraught body displays her perfectly round breasts with tight hard nipples, and naturally, I need to tease her with my fingers and tongue. A tug and a twist, and her hips rise as she attempts to get me inside of her.

"The moment I'm inside of you, we need to keep you quiet. I'm not going to go slow or easy. I'm going to take and take until you're filled with me, understand?" I caution her.

She nods up and down once with a sly grin.

I sit up on my knees to yank her hips closer to me, and as soon as I find my position, I enter Summer's snug fit and follow her body up until she's underneath me. Slamming into her, both our bodies quiver from the force. I pump into her a few times, and Summer wraps her legs around me, using me to hang on. Maybe I should worry more about hurting her, but our eyes confirm that like this is for us. We have years to make up for. It was the fucking longest full circle of my life, and with every thrust into Summer, I let her body know that it's mine now. Only mine, and I have no plans to let that go.

My mouth covers hers as her moan can no longer be kept quiet, with the mattress moving when I take over her body fully. Maybe she'll ache tomorrow, but as long as she doesn't tell me to stop, I'm going to ensure she's aware that I have a claim on her.

We move in rhythm, and as my speed quickens, she uses my shoulder to muffle her sounds as I grunt. Her teeth sink into my skin in a playful manner, but it keeps every part of Summer connected to me.

Even when we start to shake together, we both stay as one.

I like that she doesn't go straight to the bathroom to clean up. I'm still inside of her, and it feels territorial.

"Is this us making up for lost time? Or just eager to fuck one another's brains out," I wonder as my breath begins to cool off. Gravity takes over, causing me to slip out of her and land on my back next to her .

Summer rolls to her side to give me an amused glance and pats my chest. "Nah, you've never really done fragile or treated me like I was once a virgin, so don't you worry, you're sticking to tradition."

She's funny, this one. "Okay, in that case, you'll be waking up with me fucking you from behind."

"Such a hardship," she teases then returns to her back to look at the ceiling.

I peel the duvet up and over us. "Younger us were a little wild at times."

Summer snorts out a laugh. "You mean handcuffing me to your bed or kitchen escapades?"

"Excuse me, Miss Go Down on Me in the Shower, even when I was running late for practice."

"Well, it was fun. Besides, I'm happy you have the memories, because windows of opportunities are not in our favor with a baby around," she highlights.

I tilt my head to the side and bring Summer close. "It doesn't seem to bother me. I'm not used to all this domesticated stuff. Yet today wasn't what I thought it would be, and I doubt tomorrow will be, either. We're supposed to be like this, you and me."

"Perhaps. I think we're still getting used to life being not this a few weeks ago and now here we are. A cosmic boom."

I begin to tickle her, and she giggles. "Enough sentimental crap. If you want a cosmic boom, then get on your hands and knees so I can take you from behind." Summer actually listens and begins to stir in my arms, and my cock is already twitching for her.

But alas, that window of opportunity she mentioned seems to hit us right on cue.

We both pause and wait for Bo's crackly sounds to intensify .

Summer growls. "See?" she whispers loudly to me and begins to scoot to the edge of the bed.

I tug her arm to stop her from leaving. "I'll go."

She squinches her eyes. "It's fine, I'm used to?—"

Ignoring her, I move to stand. "That's exactly why. Enjoy staying in bed, you dirty girl. I would say clean up, but I kind of have plans for you later."

Summer sighs and squirms to get in a comfortable position. "I shall be waiting. And thank you. Bo is already used to you, so it shouldn't take long to get him back to sleep."

I throw on a shirt, and I'm calm, needing no pep talk. This parenting thing isn't so bad. I think I'm a natural or want to be for them. That's a good thing too, because this is the whole point of me being back in Lake Spark. To help with my brother's widow and his son.

And apparently to stay.

Maybe we've settled into a routine. That's what the past week has felt like. My nephew slides an entire bowl of yogurt off his highchair tray onto the floor, and I give him an unimpressed look which only makes him giggle.

Luckily, the babysitter knocks on the front door, and I'm quick to leave Bo in his happy mess to go answer the door for Dana, our babysitter.

"Morning, you're in for a real treat today with Bo. He woke up full of mischief."

She smiles brightly. "That's okay. Makes it more fun."

We make our way back to the kitchen, and I take note of the time on my watch. I was hoping to run a few errands and also knock on Holden's door to see if there is anything I can do. Bo for sure keeps me busy, but in terms of professional work, it seems I have an itch to find something to occupy my time.

My eyes swipe up to Dana who is already making funny voices with Bo as she picks up the bowl.

"I can do that," I offer.

"No worries. Is Summer around? I wanted to ask if I can take a day off next week since I have midterms."

I wave it off. "It's fine. I'm here." The babysitter gives me a peculiar look, or hesitation. "Really, I can be in charge," I assure her, and she has an unnerving smile. I guess she is used to only Summer as her boss, even though she's already seen me a few times.

The thumping down the stairs informs me that Summer must be dressed and ready for her day. We used the snooze button a few too many times for other activities.

Walking down the hall, I meet her at the bottom of stairs.

"I'm so late." She's frantic as she ties her hair up.

"You're fine. I know your boss," I attempt to joke as I slide her coat off the hook by the front door.

Her eyes bug out, and she's displeased. "How many times do I had to tell you that I hate that joke?"

I place my hand on her shoulder to ease her. "But seriously, slow down."

She's already buttoning her coat, ignoring my touch. "I just don't want anyone to think that I'm distracted and dropping the ball. The sympathy card needs to be burned; I hate it."

Leaning down, I swoop up her scarf that she dropped. I swing the fabric around her neck and pull her to me, giving her no choice but to catch a breath. "You're fine. I may have only been back for a short time, but even I know that you still have time to grab a coffee to-go at Jolly Joe's."

Her stern look with her eyes narrowing is cute, but I'd rather she throws that look at me when I have her on her knees later. For now, I yank her closer to give her a kiss. "May I kiss you good morning to calm you?"

Summer relaxes for a beat and hooks her arms around my neck. "That's not what we're doing. The whole ‘have a good day, dear. Don't forget I'm making you lasagna for dinner, so be home on time, dear.'" She throws on a theatrical voice.

"Wait for me naked in bed by eight with your mouth ready, dear," I mumble into her forehead as my lips are planted on her skin.

She pinches me for that remark, but she still lets me kiss her, and a deep one, too.

That is until a sound causes her to flinch right off me, and she straightens her coat. My eyes sideline, and I see Dana holding Bo.

"Uh, I was just… going to change Bo." The poor college kid appears to be a deer in headlights. She wasn't expecting to walk in on this.

"It's… it's fine. Nash was helping me with my scarf," Summer explains, flustered and avoiding eye contact with anyone.

A stiff silence hits all of us.

"I will be home on time today since I know you're preparing for your exams." Summer is quick to kiss the top of Bo's head before she bounces her eyes to study all of us. "Okay, bye." She nearly bolts out the door.

I smile tightly to Dana. "I'm just going to…" I point outside. Dana nods once and doesn't seem to judge and continues with Bo upstairs.

Turning on my heel, I'm quick to catch up with Summer outside where she drops her key fob by her car door and is completely agitated .

"Are you okay?" I cup her elbow as she straightens her body and takes a deep breath with her back to me.

" No , Nash. I'm not okay." She turns to face me with complete helplessness. "I meant what I said. How you and I are behind closed doors is for us. In the real world… well, I'm still a widow whose husband has only been gone for a few months."

Pinching my nose, I look past her shoulder to consider my words. "Summer?—"

"Nash." Summer peers shyly up at me. "We've hidden our relationship before, we're pros at it."

My eyes grow bold. "That's not the same. Things are different."

She bobs her head side to side. "Under the radar. It's not crazy. We talked about this."

"I understand, but back there was the babysitter who I think could care less."

She now appears fuming. "Do you not remember how small Lake Spark is? It takes one whisper and the whole town will know that I'm sleeping with my dead husband's brother. I mean, what the hell will your parents even think if they find out?"

My lips roll in as I digest her words, and I hold my palms in front of my chest to indicate for her to calm down. "I hear you, I do. Just don't let this ruin your day."

"You're far too relaxed about all of this, but even I know that you want to honor Zac's memory, even if we don't in private."

Her words hit hard. If only she knew how deep we're in.

I swallow any response because I don't have one. "I think we're both on the same page, just coping differently. Now breathe, Summer. You don't have to be perfect. "

Her nostrils flare from her hitched breath as she soaks in my words. "I'm sorry. I didn't sleep much last night."

My brows rise and then drop. We both realize why, but this isn't a time to flirt.

"I'll see you later. I really need to go, and I keep reminding myself one day at a time, and today this is where we are," she states as she pulls the handle on the driver's door.

I smile faintly.

Inside, I want to punch something, because I hate that despite what's transpiring between us, she feels a turmoil that's hard to ignore.

"Cut the crap. What the fuck have you done?" I say to my brother's gravestone.

It's my first time here since the funeral a few months back. I'm not sure why I haven't visited since, but I can't hold it in anymore.

"Is this some game that you decided we could all play as a parting gift?" I struggle to keep my rage at bay. "There is no way you had me return to Lake Spark under the ruse of watching out for Summer and Bo. I'm just not sure Summer really grasps that. Quite frankly, I'm going to let her figure it out herself. It's the safest way."

Fumbling with loose grass, I sigh as I calm. "I'm attached. To Bo, to Summer, to Lake Spark and its near cult-like fascination with fall. Even the Dizzy Duck, which I had zero interest in before, is suddenly appealing. You were lucky. Lake Spark, the wife, and a son. If only I had realized that, maybe I could have been lucky, too." I toss the grass to the side. "I feel guilty even thinking that. She was always supposed to be yours, but now I realize that it might not be true. I can't have that thought, because otherwise, there would be no Bo. When I came back to Lake Spark, I thought you sent me into this scenario to taunt me with what you had. But is it a taunt if I get it?"

Because that's the kind of man that I am—selfish.

"I'm sorry. This road that you're sending us on? It's not your ridiculous video game of throwing newspapers into people's windows… which by the way, I played all the way through one weekend when you were away with a friend, and I beat your high score… It's just… you're playing with us. Except… only I'm aware of the rules to this game it seems."

My sharp breath informs me that I'll only go in a circle. I've said my piece, and now I just need to wait.

Tossing a puck between my hands, I lean against Holden's office door, listening to him repeat that everything is under control at the Dizzy Duck.

"Nothing that you need help with?"

Holden seems exhausted from me as he leans back in his chair and chews on a pen. "Just listen when we talk numbers and throw in a few good ideas."

My eyes squint as I study him and realize Summer's conundrum. "You're being extra sensitive and sympathetic to me, aren't you? Don't want me to feel compelled to do more?"

Holden's jaw flexes side to side, as he's aware he has been caught out. "Don't kill me for trying to be a decent human. Summer already makes me question if acting business as usual is normal. "

I throw the puck in the air then catch it. "Maybe it is. Just let us figure it out."

"Us?" His face is puzzled.

"I mean the whole mourning someone close to you thing," I correct, and although true, it's not what I meant, and Holden isn't blind, nor will he press.

Holden drops the pen onto this desk and brings his hands behind his head to lean back into the chair. "You know Lake Spark Academy is looking for a new hockey coach, maybe that's something for you."

I laugh instantly. "Coaching teenagers?"

Holden doesn't change his demeanor. "You do realize that most of them end up on great college teams or even straight to major and minor teams when they're eighteen, just like you did, right?"

Throwing the puck his way, he catches it with one hand. "Why would you suggest it if I'm only supposed to be here six weeks?" Possibly because it's obvious that I will be staying longer.

He chuckles under his breath. "Sure." He doubts me, which means he's well aware of my current situation.

"See ya." I decide leaving is the best option, and it causes him to smirk.

I head straight to the lobby, even though I know that Summer is probably already on her way home for Bo.

The lobby is quiet, one of the joys of having a boutique hotel that caters to adults. Everything is always tranquil.

"Hi, Nash, fresh cookie?" Stuart offers from the basket behind the counter with his signature wide smile, as a guest in a suit with their back to me is busy signing a paper.

"Is it ghost-shaped?" I ask in passing as I continue my pace.

"Yes. "

"Then fuck no," I call out my response.

I'm nearly one foot out the door when I'm interrupted.

"Aren't you going to say hi, Nash?" I hear.

Oh shit, I know that voice.

I reluctantly turn to see our new Dizzy Duck guest setting the pen down on the counter then grab a cookie from the basket. He turns, clearly happy that he caught me off guard. By the look on his face, he still seems to have me low on his list of favorite people.

"Keats," I greet Summer's brother.

He casually takes a bite of his cookie. "Yep. Thought I would surprise my little sister and see that she's hanging in there."

I rub my forehead, feeling a headache coming on strong. My mind is already contriving how his presence will freak out Summer even more considering our current predicament.