Chapter 32

Millie

I was exhausted. That bone deep, every step is one too much, why the hell do I have to keep breathing, tired. I felt like I drove home in a fog, one that didn’t lift as I travelled up the elevator to my place. All I wanted was to sink into a hot bath and rest my head on the rim.

Instead, my brother was waiting by the front door.

Brock got up, moving closer as the lift doors opened. Part of me wanted to shrink back, stab the button and have the lift take me to any other floor but this. Big brother wouldn’t let that happen. I sighed and grabbed the bags of groceries I picked up on the way home and stepped forward.

He plucked the bags from my hands and carried them easily, wrapping his spare arm around my shoulders. I’d braced myself for a telling off, letting me know Mum and Dad were worried, something. I didn’t expect this. For him to just hold me close, minutes, hours feeling like they ticked by until finally I let out a sigh. I looked up when he pulled back to see him smiling slightly.

“I’m sorry the twins were idiots.” How the hell did he do that? Cut me off at the knees before I had a chance to explode. “I want to say I would’ve been cooler about a teenage boy sniffing around my sister, but we both know that would’ve been a lie. The only reason why I wasn’t beating my chest and warning him off was because I was out of school working. We all know what dickheads guys can be.”

“Me too.” I did push away from him then, finding my house keys and going for the door. “Trust me when I say I know just how horrendous men can be to women.”

“So, how’d it go today?”

The McDonald phone tree had obviously been activated, and everyone knew what was supposed to happen.

“I just want the record to show that I knew how bad men are, and I still let you date my bestie.”

I avoided his question, opening the door, because I wanted to be sitting down when I talked to Brock about it. Knox’s steady gaze, his cool words, they were like a slap to my face. He just wanted to move on from that night, and I hated that I was right.

Of course, I couldn’t just go inside and sit down with my brother and have a cup of tea. Hunt was measuring things up in my kitchen and Hayden was scribbling down notes on a pad of paper, both of them looking up guiltily as I walked inside.

“What’re you two doing here?” My exhaustion was evaporating by the second. “Are there some baby daddies in my kitchen cupboards that need chasing away?”

“We’re sorry.”

Hayden moved to the table and pulled out a chair. It took me seconds to realise who that was for. My eyes narrowed, waiting for him to yank it out from under me, but instead he pushed it in as I sat down. Hunt dove for the kettle, an array of mugs already set up on the counter.

“We are complete dickheads.” Hunter gestured to the table, and that’s when I saw it. They’d upended a brand new packet of Tim Tam biscuits on my dining table, spelling out…

“Zorry?” I asked.

“Sorry.” Hunter tweaked the S a bit.

“That looks like a five now,” I said.

“Look—”

He sucked in a breath as Hayden drifted closer, the two of them standing together, which was part of the problem. They always had someone at their back, whereas I had… Brock, it appeared, my eldest brother coming to stand at my shoulder.

“We fucked up,” Hayden said. “We were in our own heads thinking our sister, our family, our?—”

“Selves.” Hunter nodded, and with a blink, I saw something so rare I was forced to stare. His cocky facade cracked and something else replaced it. Was my brother doubting himself? “We were being really fucking selfish, and whatever you need us to do to make up for that, we’ll do it. We’re already doing an audit of the apartment, looking at ways we can baby proof the place. I dunno what the body corporate says, but I think we can clad the balcony railing temporarily so that it's safe for bubs, but you can take it down later when he or she is bigger.”

“You two are dickheads, you know that, right?” I said. Jamie appeared from the bathroom, watching what went down with a wary eye. “Like complete and utter dickheads.” The kettle whistled, but they all just stayed there, staring at me. “I don’t need you to protect me from every bloke in the entire world.” I expected them to argue, but instead, they all just nodded quietly. “I’m going to go on dates with arseholes, have my heart broken. I just don’t expect my own brothers to be the ones doing the breaking.”

“Mills…”

Hunter reached forward, but I dodged around him, turning the damn kettle off, my hands shaking. It hurt, and on top of that was a customary need to pretend it didn’t, because I’d get no sympathy from my brothers. Instead, I poured the hot water into the mugs, stirring the coffees before going to carry them over to the table.

Only to find the boys were ready to take over the job.

Jamie steered me back towards the table where I picked up a Tim Tam and shoved it in my mouth, suddenly hungry. I crunched the biscuit as my tea was set down before me.

“What we did was over the top, misogynist and came from a place where we assumed you couldn’t handle yourself,” Hayden said as he sat down.

He didn’t have my attention, but Jamie did.

“You got stuck into them, didn't you?”

“I may or may not have spent several hours lecturing each one of them.” She shot the twins a dark look, but even Brock didn’t escape her scorn. “We had a complex discussion about their knowledge of how crappy men can be versus my assertion that women are masters of their own fate, just like they are, and all this manly bullshit should come forth in response to something actually happening, not to prevent you from ever having a chance of connecting with a guy.” She shot me a sheepish smile. “Guys. So…”

Her eyes brightened as she looked me over.

“How did it go? Did you let them know? Do they want to be involved fathers?”

“They’d want to…” Hunter muttered, yelping when Jamie shoved her elbow into his ribs.

“It went as well as I expected. Knox?—”

“That’s what one of the guys’ names is?” Hunter said, then nudged Hayden. “Write that down.”

Instead, his twin shot him a withering look.

“He took me aside and told me that nothing that happened had to have any bearing on our working relationship.”

“Oof…” Jamie winced.

“That we could be professional.”

“Oh god…” Hayden rubbed his hand over his face.

“And that if I had any issues, I could always come to him.”

It felt like I’d set a burden down then. The pained expressions of everyone around the table were a perfect reflection of my own.

All except Brock.

He was sitting there, arms crossed, but he shook his head and smiled.

“That’s pretty smart, actually.”

“What?” Jamie snapped. “Um… no. Pretending like nothing has happened is…” His smile widened as she remembered her own attempt to try just that. “An understandable response.” Her tone was much more even, but then her eyes jerked up to meet mine. “And might not necessarily be a reflection of how this Knox is feeling.” She glanced at Brock. “I was trying to keep my cards close to my chest.”

“Cards…” Brock snorted.

“Nope.” I took a sip of my tea, the astringent liquid having my eyes close for just a second. “That’s not what’s happening here. I told you guys. You’ve got your whole quadruple thing going on.”

I waved my hand in their direction.

“We prefer poly relationship,” Hunter corrected primly, but I just glared at him.

“But that’s not what happened that night. We all got drunk…” Knox didn’t. I remembered that now because he stuck to drinking Coke. “And did something stupid. Not photocopying my bum.” I remembered Knox’s words, them haunting me as they echoed around in my heart. “But still, stupid. He’s right, the only way forward is to be professional?—”

“And tell him he might be a father.” Brock was largely silent as we all talked, but we all turned as he regarded me now. “Nothing you’ve told me is going to get you out of doing that.”

I sighed, slumping down around my tea.

“I tried.”

“And you’ll need to have another crack again tomorrow.” His tone was firm, making clear he would accept no further arguments, the bossy prick. “Now, about the family dinner this week…”

The guys took the ingredients from my shopping bags and whipped us all up a pretty good meal. The weird nausea I was feeling eased up when I had a full belly, but the exhaustion just got worse.

“We’ve got the dishes,” Hayden said, collecting up the plates.

“You better,” I croaked. “Pretty sure you used every pot and pan I own.”

“Have a nice, hot bath,” Jamie suggested, pulling out a brightly coloured orb. “I picked up one of those bath bombs from Lush for you.”

“I love you the best out of all of them. It’s not too late to leave my brothers and shack up with me here. We could have one of those platonic marriages where we look after each other during the day and then go on dates when we want some guy company.”

“You can’t have Jamie.” Hunter tugged my best friend closer, and I caught the moment when she flushed with pleasure. “No take backsies.”

Instead, I did just as they suggested, dropping the lavender scented bath bomb into the water and sinking down into all that warmth.

My limbs loose, my head just above the water, eyes heavily closed, the tiredness that dogged my every step rose up and claimed me. In a haze, I saw a very different scenario. Knox was the one making sure everything got done right, while Charlie flicked suds at Noah. They were the ones that looked after me, not my family.

“Hey…” I opened my eyes to find that Jamie had cracked the bathroom door a little bit and peered inside. “We’re heading out. I’ll see you at your parents’ place?”

“You got it.”

I gave her a floppy wave, but when I heard the front door click closed, I forced myself to get out of the bath. The water was cooling and the lavender was doing its thing, making me sleepy. I staggered into my bed, grabbing my phone and snuggling under the sheets, my head hitting the pillow as I checked my notifications.

Only to find I had a text.

I was tired, more tired than I could ever remember feeling, but that little green bubble had me stiffening. Noah, it said, and that’s what had me tapping on it.

Hey. I smiled at that greeting. Not trying to be a creeper, but can we talk? I pretty much know the answer. I could almost hear his voice inside my head. Knox had a chat with you. So they did compare notes. Interesting. But there’s some stuff I need to talk to you about.

So did I, I thought dimly, my grip on the phone loosening. My heart tried to fire me up, get me tapping out a response, but no amount of adrenaline would get my fingers moving. The thud of the phone on the bed, that was the last thing I remembered, and then I was out.