Chapter 31

CHAPTER 31

That evening, as she sat combing her hair in front of the mirror in her chamber, Ivy reflected with sorrow that Liam had not shown himself all day. The interconnecting door between their chambers had remained resolutely shut, and she lacked the nerve to open it and see if he was there.

It was painfully obvious he was avoiding her after what had happened between them the night before. I asked him tae make me a woman, and that’s what he did. But I cannae make him love me as well. With a cold weight settled in her belly, she put the last touches to her appearance, and then made her way slowly to the great hall.

She was already sitting in her usual place when she saw him enter. She looked at him, but his face was a mask that showed nothing of what he was thinking. He nodded to her in greeting before taking his place beside her making sure not to touch her.

“How’s yer arm?” he asked.

“Good, thank ye.”

“Grand.” He then proceeded to ignore her, engaging in occasional conversation with Magnus and Knox while he ate a hearty dinner. Ivy determinedly pushed down the pain his diffidence was causing her and helped herself to some food and made a show of eating it, though she had no appetite at all.

In fact, she was feeling quite queasy with the expectation of Knox’s proposal. She wondered how Liam would react. Secretly, she prayed he would challenge Knox’s proposal of marriage with one of his own. But judging by his demeanor, she did not hold out much hope.

Throughout the meal, the laird kept glancing at her and smiling. But she had to wait on tenterhooks until dinner was done and everyone was sitting around the table drinking and talking. At last, he stood up and rapped his spoon on the table to gain everyone’s attention.

When all eyes were upon him, he said, “Friends, I’m happy ye’re all here, fer I have somethin’ important tae say, and I want ye all tae hear it.” Ivy’s heart began to thud loudly in her ears as he turned to her. She looked up at him nervously. “Lady Ivy, will ye permit me tae ask ye if ye’d dae me the honor of becomin’ me wife? Before ye say anythin’, please, hear me out. I ken it would nae be the love match ye might have hoped fer, but rather a strategic alliance that, in the circumstance we find oursel’s in, would bring peace and stability tae all our lives.

“As me wife, I guarantee ye’d have me personal protection and that of the clan too. I dinnae ask ye tae give me an answer straightaway. I ken there’s a lot fer ye tae consider, so take yer time. Me offer stands until ye make yer decision.”

Now the words were out, Ivy could not help glancing sidelong at Liam as she formulated her reply, but his face was hidden by his tankard as he supped his ale.

Crushed by disappointment, she pasted on a smile for Knox and said, “I’m truly honored by yer proposal, melaird. But as ye say, there’s much fer me tae consider, so I’ll take a little time tae think about it and give ye me answer as soon as I’ve reached a decision.”

“Grand,” Knox said, “I await yer answer with keen anticipation.” He gave her a little bow and sat down again. As the conversation around them resumed, full of muttered excitement about the proposal, Ivy saw him and Magnus with their heads together, whispering. Every now and then, one or the other of them would look surreptitiously at Liam. However, he remained subdued and had eyes only for his ale, it seemed.

Suddenly, she felt furious with him. Did he think he could just pretend what had happened between them meant nothing? That she had imagined the tenderness he had shown her in looking after her and then making love to her?

In an effort to provoke a response, she turned to him and asked him outright, “What d’ye think, Liam, should I accept Knox’s proposal?”

He hardly glanced at her and did not say a word, but she saw a tic start up in his jaw.

“So, ye’re happy with me marryin’ yer friend, are ye?” she pressed him, determined to get some reaction out of him. Out of the corner of her eyes, she could see Knox watching them, his face flushed with what appeared to be embarrassment.

Still, Liam said nothing.

“I see,” she said, feeling her heart breaking to pieces inside her chest.

He took her by surprise when he suddenly burst out, “What difference does it make what I think? ’Tis naethin’ tae dae with me who ye marry. I dinnae wantae talk about it.” He slammed his tankard down on the table and rose abruptly before stalking away from the table, and out of the hall.

Ivy, shaken by his outburst and deeply upset by yet another rejection, in front of others too, watched his retreating back. She noticed Knox, Magnus, and several others staring after him in perplexity.

Well, at least I ken where I stand now, she thought wretchedly, the fragments of her fractured heart feeling as heavy as lead inside her. There’s nae other way out of me situation. I havetae marry Knox.

After storming away from the dinner table, Liam ran up to the battlements and walked around the castle’s defenses. Now and then, he stopped to speak to the men on duty, striving to regain his equilibrium and some sense of normality.

He felt embarrassed by the way he had reacted, but actually having to listen to Knox’s proposal and then for Ivy to ask him about it had been too much to bear. He’d had to get out of there to have time to think, preferably alone. The stiff, cold breeze eventually calmed the emotional tumult that had surged out of him at the dinner table, and he was just heading back down the tower stairway when he was confronted by Knox and Magnus going up.

The pair bundled him back up to the landing and into the corridor to one side. There, they backed him into a corner.

“What d’ye think ye’re doin’?” he asked irritably, trying and failing to push his way out.

“We just wantae have a quiet word with ye in private, man tae man,” Knox said as he and Magus formed a solid wall in front of him.

“Aye, as yer friends, we think we have a duty tae try and stop ye from makin’ the biggest mistake of yer life,” Magnus put in.

Seeing he was not about to be let go, he leaned back against the wall and folded his arms defensively across his chest. “What gives ye the right tae meddle in me business?” he demanded.

“Like Magnus just said, because we’re yer friends, and we care about ye,” the laird told him.

“So?”

“So, we wantae ken what ye’re playin’ at with Ivy,” Knox replied.

Liam bristled. “What d’ye mean by that?” he asked, though he knew the answer very well.

“Dinnae play the simpleton with us, Liam, we ken ye too well, and we’re nae fools,” Magnus warned.

“Unlike some,” Knox interjected, looking at him pointedly. “D’ye honestly think we didnae hear yer outburst at the table earlier when Ivy asked ye what ye thought of her marryin’ me?”

“And then ye walked off in a huff, like some lassie that’s taken umbrage about somethin’,” his sidekick added.

Liam felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment. “Aye, well, like I said back there, what’s it tae me who she weds? It might as well be ye as anyone else.”

“Can ye hear this nonsense, Magnus?” Knox asked his right-hand man, shaking his head in aggrieved wonder. “He thinks he can fool us. He thinks we dinnae ken how he feels about Ivy, even though he’s been so bloody obvious about it.”

“Aye, ’tis plain he’s in love with her,” Magnus said, starting to grin.

“I’m nae in love with her!” Liam lied emphatically, starting to panic.

“Fer Christ’s sake, Liam, ye may be able tae lie tae yersel’, but dinnae try it on us. We have eyes in our heads. We ken ye love her,” Knox stated baldly. “I thought that when I asked her so openly at dinner, ye’d havetae finally dae somethin’ about it and ask her tae wed ye instead of me!”

“But ye said naethin’, and we wantae ken why ye’d dae somethin’ so stupid. What’s wrong with ye? Are ye really gonnae let the lassie ye love marry Knox here? Nae offence, Knox,” Magnus said apologetically.

“In this case, Magnus, none taken,” Knox replied. Then he smiled at Liam and slapped his shoulder in comradely fashion. “Now, if ye truly love Ivy, which we ken ye dae, so dinnae bother denyin’ it any longer, then why will ye nae fight fer her? Are ye honestly gonnae let me wed her? D’ye nae want tae be happy? What is it gonnae take fer ye tae see sense?”

Liam was feeling attacked and very alone at that point. He realized he was going to have to put his fears out in the open to make them understand. “I’ve sworn never tae marry, that’s why.”

“What? Never?” Knox asked disbelievingly.

“Whyever nae?” Magnus seconded. “A love match is the road tae happiness, Liam. I speak as a man who kens it tae be true.”

“Because the minute I start tae care about someone, I ken I’m gonnae end up losin’ them. I dinnae need that kind of pain in me life.” Now he had started, he could not stop. “I ken how it feels, and I dinnae wantae go through it again. I’m better off alone. All right, aye, I care about Ivy, but I cannae protect her. I’m bound tae lose her. I almost lost her last night. I cannae handle it. She’s better off without me. She’s better off bein’ married tae ye, Knox.”

“Is he serious, Knox?” Magnus asked, looking at Liam in obvious bewilderment.

“Aye, I think he is, as a mad man’s serious when he tells ye the moon’s made of cheese,” the Laird responded. “Liam, that’s all nonsense, and ye ken it. I never had ye down as a coward.”

“I’m nae a coward!” Liam protested fiercely.

“All right, let’s say ye’re actin’ in a cowardly fashion. What ye’ve said just sounds like excuses. Some vow ye made tae yersel’ once upon a time is nay reason tae throw away the biggest chance ye’re likely ever tae get fer findin’ lastin’ happiness with the lass ye love. Ye clearly dinnae ken how lucky ye are tae have found Ivy, who clearly loves ye tae death.”

“Ye dinnae ken that,” he argued feebly, wondering if it could be true.

“Aye, we dae,” Knox countered.

“Ye say ye cannae protect her. Well, protectin’ someone is nae just about protectin’ them physically, with yer sword and such like,” Magnus told him.

“That’s right. ’Tis about bein’ there tae support them emotionally when they need ye,” Knox backed up his friend. “It seems tae me that ye’ve completely failed tae take that intae account. And by the way, ye say ye cannae protect her, that ye almost failed yesterday and lost her. But ye didnae lose her, did ye? Ye fought fer her, and ye saved her.”

“That’s right. So, yer argument daesnae have legs tae stand on, man,” Magnus chimed in, nodding vigorously. “And if ye think about it clearly, by nae marryin’ her, ye could actually be puttin’ her in danger.”

“I dinnae see how—” Liam began to argue, though he felt it was a losing battle.

“Look, Liam, ye still have a chance tae put things right. The weddin’s been arranged tae take place the day after tomorrow, in the castle chapel. ’Tis up tae ye now tae decide who’s gonnae be standin’ at the altar waitin’ fer her.”

With that, they walked off and left him standing there, his head ringing with their arguments. After a few minutes, when he was sure they had really gone, he headed back rapidly down the stairs and went to his chamber, craving solitude to untangle his raging emotions.