Chapter 32

CHAPTER 32

A fter the disastrous scene at the dinner table, a heartsick Ivy had taken refuge in the solar on the upper floor of the castle. She was standing by the great, arching windows, clasping her hands tightly at her waist, staring up at the enormous silver moon that was hanging low in the sky. It was one degree from fullness and looked close enough for her to reach out and touch.

All below was bathed in its ethereal light. But she knew that tomorrow would bring the great blood moon, when the moon would turn from silver to an unearthly red. Its light would stain the land below like the aftermath of a terrible battle. The baleful herald was the subject of much fear and suspicion, a harbinger of change, not all of it good. It seemed the perfect portent for her marriage to Knox.

Tonight’s tranquil scene was the very opposite of the turmoil raging inside her just then. She had cried so much, she felt she had no more tears left in her, and her face was sore. The same tormenting thoughts kept going around and around in her head endlessly like a child’s whirligig.

Liam daesnae want me, and the day after tomorrow, I’ll be walkin’ up the aisle tae marry Knox. Knox is braw and funny and kind, he’ll be a good husband, nay doubt. And I’ll try tae be a good wife tae him. But ’tis nae him I love...

She was so tense with anxiety, so absorbed in her misery, she did not hear Evander come in and was unaware of his presence until he cleared his throat and came to stand next to her at the window.

She turned to look at him, his face washed in the moonlight. Although she did not know him well, she trusted him after he had saved her life and shared so many tender memories of her past.

“I heard what happened at dinner,” he said kindly.

She scoffed bitterly. “Which part? The bit where the laird proposed tae me, or the bit where Liam showed how little he cares fer me and stormed out?”

“Both. I’m very sorry, Ivy. I ken how much ye care fer Liam.”

“Thank ye fer yer sympathy, Evander, but it daesnae really help. I suppose I should count me blessin’s and be grateful tae Knox. He’s makin’ a sacrifice as well, nae just me. When I think the alternative is Gael, I count mesel’ very lucky. But somehow, I dinnae feel lucky at all. Even at this distance, I’m still Carson’s plaything.”

“Aye, sad tae say, in some ways, that’s the truth. But ye deserve tae be happy. I think Liam cares fer ye deeply. I’ve seen the way he looks at ye. And when I saw how he fought tae free ye from Gael’s henchmen at the chapel, well, I kent he’d die tae protect ye.”

Ivy turned to him in anguish. “Then why does he nae ask me tae wed him instead of Knox?”

Evander shook his head, his expression sad as he looked in her eyes. “I cannae answer that. But there must be a reason why Liam is shyin’ away from askin’ ye tae wed him. Have ye tried askin’ him about it?”

She shook her head. “Nay…”

“It could be somethin’ as simple as a misunderstandin’. If I were ye, I’d pluck up the courage tae go and ask him about it. If he has nae answer fer ye, then at least ye can give him a piece of yer mind.”

Ivy stared up at the moon and turned Evander’s suggestion over in her mind. “Maybe there’s truth in what ye say.”

“If yer happiness is at stake, ’tis worth confrontin’ him one last time, ‘tis it nae?” Evander said in an encouraging tone.

His words were like a ray of hope lighting up the darkness within her. She tuned to him. “I think I’ll dae that, Evander. Thank ye fer bein’ so understanding and tryin’ tae help me.”

“Aye, good luck. I pray it goes well fer ye.”

Ivy smiled at him before she headed for the door and set off down the stairs to her chamber, intent on her new mission to have it out with Liam.

Liam snapped out of the disturbing dream like a fish pulled on a line, gasping and thrashing, lying fully clothed on his bed. The words rang in his ears… “And as fer ye, lad, I can see ye’re soon tae meet the love of yer life… and when ye dae, ye’ll be tempted tae succumb tae yer deepest fears. And if ye dae, ye’ll loose her…”

The prophecy came to him as if from down a well, spoken by the scratchy, worn voice of an old woman, words he had made himself forget, because they had scared him half to death.

The old woman had appeared in front of him in the dream, or rather nightmare, as vividly as if she were there in the room. Shrouded in rusty, dark rags, her body shriveled with age, crook-backed, almost bald and toothless, she had fixed upon him a pair of pale, rheumy eyes that might have once been blue.

She was so vivid, he might have been back there again, standing in the hot, dusty dimness of her cottage buried deep in the woods, breathing in the strange aromas which permeated the place and made him feel dizzy. Old Selma the witch had frightened him then, and now, she had come to him in the nightmare and frightened him again.

But this time it was for a different reason. “…the love of yer life… ye’ll be tempted tae succumb tae yer deepest fears. And if ye dae, ye’ll loose her…”

Clarity came upon him then like a bolt from the blue, and he found he was not prepared to let that happen.

He sprang up from the bed and went to the interconnecting door. Just as he put his hand on the knob to turn it, it turned itself. The door opened, and he was suddenly face to face with Ivy.

“What are ye doin’, creepin’ up tae me door like that?”

“I wasnae creepin’. Anyway, I could say the same of ye.”

She huffed. “I came tae the door tae see if ye were here, obviously, because I have a lot of things I want tae say tae ye.”

“Well, I was comin’ tae see ye fer the same reason.”

“Really? Now that’s interestin’ because I thought ye said everythin’ ye wanted tae say tae me last night when ye just walked out and left me here – and then at dinner tonight too. Ye let everybody ken what ye think of me – naethin’!

“If ye’re referrin’ tae what happened between us last night while ye were bathin’—

“Bathin’? I’ve nae heard it called that before. I understand now why it meant naethin’ tae ye. Ye thought we were “bathin”.”

“Stop bein’ deliberately awkward, ye ken what I mean.”

“Dae I? And how would ye ken that? I bet ye were very pleased with yersel’. Me the wee virgin, offerin’ mesel’ up tae ye, so grateful fer the big, braw man showin’ her what ’tis all about. Oh, the sacrifices ye made, the sufferin’!”

“That’s nae fair, Ivy, ye asked me tae make love tae ye.”

“Make love? I may be ignorant about such things, but is that nae somethin’ ye dae with someone ye actually love? If so, it cannae have been that what we did, because ye’ve made it very clear ye dinnae love me.”

“Ivy, will ye keep yer voice down? D’ye want everyone tae ken our business?”

“After yer wee exhibition at dinner tonight, I think they already ken most of it.”

“I’m sorry, I was?—"

“Sorry butters nae parsnips with me, Liam. Ye were what? Upset, were ye? Well, how d’ye think I felt last night when ye went and left me tae go and sleep in yer own bed?”

“Ye were the one that said,”—he mimicked her voice—‘Och, please, Liam, take me maidenhood, make me a woman.’”

“Ye bastard!” She went to slap his face, but he caught her hand in midair. “Let go of me. Ye have nae right tae touch me.”

“Is that so? Then how come ye were just about tae slap me face?”

“Ye deserve it, and more. Anyway, none of it matters now. Ye’ve had yer fun with me, and the day after tomorrow, I’ll be marryin’ yer friend. Ye must be lookin’ forward tae havin’ me out of yer life fer good.

“Pah! I was stupid enough tae come tae care fer ye, and the way ye acted, I believed ye cared fer me too. But now I see how naive I was, how easy I was tae lead up the garden path. Ye never cared fer me at all!”

“That’s nae true, Ivy, and if ye’d just shut up fer a minute and listen tae me, I can explain.”

“I’m nae interested in yer explanations. Ye made me believe ye felt somethin’ fer me, but when Knox gave ye the chance tae step in and ask me tae wed ye instead of him, ye didnae want tae ken. Even after all we’ve shared, ye dinnae even have the guts tae fight fer me! Ye’re just washin’ yer hands of me and givin’ me away tae yer friend. Ye’ve broken me heart, Liam MacTavish, broken it intae pieces.”

“Ivy, let me speak!”

“Ach, go on then. Let’s hear yer excuses.”

“’Tis nae an excuse. There’s a very good reason why I cannae wed ye.”

“Are ye already wed!?”

“Nay, of course nae. But I made a vow tae mesel’ a long time ago, after me and Tadhg saw our parents bein’ murdered, never tae let mesel’ care about anybody again, except fer me braither, of course.

“The two people I loved the most were cruelly snatched away from me in front of me eyes. I couldnae keep them from bein’ killed. I couldnae protect them. The guilt and pain were so bad, I swore tae mesel’ never tae go through it again. I swore never tae fall in love and never tae wed. There, now ye ken the truth.”

“So, what exactly are ye sayin’?”

“Fer the sake of the Wee Man Ivy, what d’ye think I’m sayin’? I love ye, of course, I love ye! That’s why I cannae marry ye. Because I’ll nae be able tae keep ye safe from harm, and me fear of losin’ ye is stronger than me love!”

She blanched. In the silence that followed, she stepped back and tottered slightly. Instinctively, Liam reached out and caught her arm, meaning to steady her. She snatched her arm away.

“Ach, now ye claim tae love me, dae ye? Ye’re either a liar or a fool then. Because if ye truly loved me, ye’d nae be such a coward. Ye’d fight fer me as I’d fight fer ye!”

Angered by her words, he advanced on her. “Dinnae call me a coward, Ivy!”

She squared up to him, hands on hips. “Coward, coward! Cow—oooh!”

He grabbed her around the waist, yanked her toward him, and crushed his mouth to hers, cutting her off.

For a moment, she struggled, so he increased the pressure of his lips, cradling the back of her head to keep her pinned in place. Then, she relaxed against him, put her arms around his neck, and opened her mouth to his questing tongue, tangling hers with it in heated abandon.

As the kiss intensified, Liam felt himself hardening, his senses inflamed by the raw emotion crackling in the air around them. Their lips still locked, they backed up against the chest of drawers, both frantic with lust. On impulse, he lifted her up on to it and pulled up her skirts. She settled herself on the edge and parted her thighs, inviting him in, her eyes a dark and smoky blue as they held his gaze.

He fumbled to unfasten his trews, freeing his pulsing, rock-hard erection. He groaned aloud when Ivy grasped it and pumped it up and down in the way he had shown her the night before. In response, he reached forward and yanked down neckline of her gown, letting his kisses trail from her lips, down her throat and neck, to fix on the bright pink nipples. He sucked on them luxuriously, swirling his tongue around them and nipping them with his teeth, growing more and more excited as she continued to work his member.

He parted her sex with his fingers, reveling in the low mewling sounds coming from her throat as she threw back her head when his fingers pushed into her, then out again, opening her wide. He felt the warm slickness of her juices covering his fingers on the downstroke and, with what she was doing him, found he could not wait.

She let him go when he put his hands on her hips and pulled her roughly forward, then sank himself deep inside her with a groan of intense satisfaction. Their lips clashed again in a never-ending kiss as he drove into her again and again, holding her hips to pin her in place, while she clutched his shoulders and tangled her fingers in his hair, meeting every thrust of his hips with one of her own.

Liam’s heart was hammering so hard, he thought it would burst out of his chest, a wave of intoxicating heat washing over them both, and they climaxed at the same moment. Ivy moaned into his mouth, providing the perfect counterpoint to his deep groans as they finally collapsed against each other, panting and sweating, neither willing to let the other go.

They stayed like that for a few minutes, catching their breath. Liam could feel Ivy’s heart gradually slowing along with his own as it beat against his chest. He rested his forehead against hers.

“I dae love ye, Ivy. I love ye so much, it scares me. I was so frightened tae admit I was fallin’ fer ye in case I lost ye. It made me a coward, I see that now. I was a fool.” He spoke quietly, his lips against the soft skin of her neck. “I hope ye can forgive me.”

“I’ll forgive ye just about anythin’ because I love ye with all me heart and soul, Liam,” she whispered, tenderly brushing the hair out of his eyes and then gazing into them. Hers were dark and melting, full of love for him. The warm glow of happiness he felt inside him then was exquisite, and he wondered how he had held back for so long.

“Ivy, I cannae stand the thought of ye marryin’ anyone else. I want ye as me wife, tae be at me side always.”

“D’ye want me through thick and thin?”

“Aye, I dae.”

“In sickness and in health?”

“Aye, I dae.”

“Fer richer, fer poorer?”

He chuckled. “Aye, that too. Forever and ever.”

“In that case, Liam MacTavish, make me yers.”

“I am so sorry I needed so much time tae get here,” he hugged her tightly before pulling back and gazing at her beautiful face, astonished that she really was going to be his. “And now I suggest we seal our promise with a kiss before we go and tell Knox he’s off the hook,” he said, grinning at her cheekily.

“Very funny,” she said, and kissed him again.