Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

L illy awoke to find herself alone in Hadrian's bed. The fire had died down, leaving only the faint smell of wood and ashes in the air. She sighed, staring for a moment at the empty spot where he had been, then pulled the covers up around her and rubbed her eyes sleepily.

Memories of last night replayed in her mind, and she shivered, still overwhelmed by how beautiful it had been. Things between them had progressed far more than she had ever expected last night. Still, she was a little disappointed that he had already left. It would have been wonderful to wake up in his arms again.

She slipped out of bed and pulled on a robe, wandering through the room to the window. The morning light was just beginning to peek over the horizon, painting the landscape outside in soft shades of pink and orange. Lilly smiled to herself, feeling a strange sense of contentment. Even though she missed Hadrian's warm presence, she was grateful for the time they had spent together and the memories they were creating. She had never expected to have even this much, and she was grateful for it. Truly.

She pressed one hand to her belly, feeling both guilty and hopeful. She knew Hadrian didn't want children and was worried about how a child would fit into his plans. But she couldn't help but hope that if the lovemaking they'd shared resulted in a baby, it could be the tie that held them together forever. She looked out at the gently swaying fields and the rising sun, feeling as if anything was possible.

The door opened behind her, and she turned, hoping Hadrian had returned, only to be disappointed to find Mary.

"So sorry I'm late," Mary apologized, looking harried. "No one expected the duke to arrive today, and we have all been in a terrible state making certain everything is ready for him. But I've made up a fire in your room and have a lovely morning dress set out for you."

"The duke?" Lilly asked, her heart sinking. "He's here?"

Mary nodded. "He certainly is."

Although there was nothing strange about the duke arriving at Autumnwood Hall, Lilly couldn't help but be troubled by this turn of events. She'd had Hadrian all to herself, but now that his father had arrived, everything was certain to change. The relationship between the two men was tumultuous at best, and she wouldn't be surprised if Hadrian ran back to London to avoid him.

He might already be gone.

He wouldn't have left without saying goodbye, would he? She wished she could be certain he wouldn't, but suddenly, all the doubts crept back in.

Tears stung her eyes, but she blinked them rapidly away. She had known this would happen and despite all the intimacy and tenderness that had transpired between them during the last few days, maybe it would be better if it happened now, before she became even further entangled in her love for him.

After she returned to her room and dressed, she decided to go down and face her father-in-law. It would be best to start on a good footing with him, no matter what the future held. She didn't approve of the way he had treated Hadrian, but he was a man of his time and station. Deep down, he wanted the best for his son, but he obviously had no idea how to show that.

She went downstairs and made her way toward the duke's study, but as she drew close, she heard Hadrian's loud voice and then the duke's angry reply. She faltered, not wanting to interrupt what sounded like an argument.

Frozen outside the door, her face went white as she caught a snippet of what they were saying.

"Of course, I came to check up on you. For all I knew, you'd dumped Lady Lilliana here and ran off back to London. I intend to stay here long enough to ensure you are doing your duty."

"Do you intend to join us in the bedroom?" Hadrian exploded. "I am here. I have been here for nearly a week. Lilly and I have consummated our marriage. If all goes well, you will soon have the heir you want so badly. What else do you want from me?"

Lilly hugged her arms across her chest, her heart shattering. Oh, God! He had made love to her because his father had made him! He had been ordered to stay here and seduce her, and here she had been feeling guilty because she thought she had seduced him!

She retreated down the hallway, her thoughts a whirlwind of anger and hurt. She didn't know what to think or what to do. She couldn't stay here, trapped in a web of deceit and lies. They were treating her as little more than a broodmare, which shouldn't surprise her. It had always been this way for women of her class.

The duke must have seen through Hadrian's schemes and demanded this of him on their wedding day. That explained everything. Why he had been so upset. Why he had come with her.

Why he had changed his mind about making love to her.

Lilly slammed her hand against the wall in frustration, focusing on the sting in her palm and not the pain in her chest. She had to get out of here, away from Autumnwood Hall and this family that had so little respect for her. But where would she go? What would she do? She felt completely alone in the world, because she knew her mother would be no help whatsoever.

As she stood there, lost in her angry thoughts, the door to the study swung open, and Hadrian stood on the threshold, looking at her with a mixture of concern and confusion. She had no idea what he was thinking, but she knew one thing for sure—he did not care about her.

He never had. Everything that had passed between them since they arrived at Autumnwood Hall had been a sham. She could not believe she had been foolish enough to believe it was real for even a moment. She had thought she was seducing him, when in reality, he was seducing her.

Humiliated, she turned and sprinted for the door.

"Lilly! Wait!" he called after her, but she ignored him. All she wanted was to get as far away from him as possible.

For a moment, Hadrian was frozen in place, staring after his wife with utter dismay. She had obviously heard at least part of his conversation with his father. Dear God. She probably thought everything that had happened between them had been a lie. That he didn't care for her at all. But as he watched her run out the front door, he realized how very much he did care.

"You idiot!" his father snarled from behind him. "Go after her."

"And say what?" Hadrian asked. "You've ruined everything, you bastard!"

His father sighed and raked a hand through his hair. "You know I didn't want to put you in this position. But it was necessary."

"You threatened me with the loss of everything I thought I held dear. Didn't you think that was enough?" Hadrian muttered, shame and anger warring within him. He had woken this morning with such hope, such happiness, only to have all that shattered by his father's arrival. Why couldn't the bastard have just left them alone?

But some part of him knew that his father had every right not to trust him. Until a few days ago, he'd have been right not to.

The duke leaned on the edge of his desk, his face flushed. "It ought to be," he snapped. "But all your life you have been fighting me, Hadrian. I have never had any idea what to do with you."

Love me.

The thought shocked him, and he wouldn't dream of saying such a thing. But he knew that everything would have been much different if this man had ever shown him the slightest bit of kindness.

Still, he was finally starting to see that perhaps his father did want not only what was best for the dukedom but also for Hadrian. Maybe he really had been worried about him and not just embarrassed by the notoriety that stupid article had brought to their family name.

After all, if it wasn't for that, if not for his father laying down the law and insisting he wed, he would probably have woken up in a brothel this morning, hung over and slightly ashamed. Instead, he had been with his wife, thinking about how he could most productively spend his day.

"I care for her," Hadrian admitted, even though the words stuck in his throat. "I am glad you made me come here. But after what she just heard, I don't know if she'll ever be able to trust me again."

His father's eyes lit up in a way that Hadrian had never imagined that they could. "Then you'd better go after her, son. Apologize and tell her how you feel."

He held his father's gaze for a moment more, his heart pounding in his chest as they shared a rare moment of understanding. Then he turned and raced down the corridor, calling for his wife. But he had talked to his father too long.

By the time he got outside, Lilly had vanished.