Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

H adrian led Lilly through the doorway between their rooms into his own. His bed was much bigger than hers, and he thought they would be more comfortable there. The conversation they'd just had still tumbled about in his mind, and although he wanted to make love to her, he was having second thoughts. He didn't think he had ever been so uncertain about anything in his entire life.

He needed to tell her what had happened on their wedding day, that his father had changed the rules and now he needed an heir whether he wanted one or not. He knew it, but he also knew that once he did, she would doubt everything he had said to her tonight. And nothing that had happened today had been about that devil's bargain with his father. He cared for her. He had meant every word of it.

She had said that she loved him. He still couldn't believe it.

"This is nice," she said, looking around at the heavy, dark furniture and plush rugs.

He shrugged. "I haven't been here for so long, I'm not even sure who decorated it. Feel free to change things if you like."

She strode over to the window and stared out for a moment, and he took that time to shed his robe and slide into bed. When she turned, her eyes widened a bit at the sight of his bare chest, but she didn't say anything. Instead, she crossed the room and did the same, sliding under the heavy counterpane as naked as he.

For a moment, they sat side by side, leaning against the headboard. Several inches stretched between them, and they were suddenly awkward with each other again. His mind raced with possibilities as he lay there, his cock throbbing, wanting to reach out to her so badly it hurt.

He turned toward her, wrapping his arms around her and holding her close. God, she smelled fantastic, so soft and giving against him. The swell of her breasts pressed against his arm, and her soft bottom felt like heaven. He had never wanted anything the way that he wanted to bury himself in her softness, make her his own in every possible way.

"We don't have to do anything but sleep tonight if you're not ready," he found himself saying, perhaps the first selfless words he had ever uttered. "I loved holding you in my arms that night at the inn, and if you're not ready to go further yet, you can have all the time you need."

She shifted to look up at him, her blue eyes luminous in the firelight, so much love in them he wanted to look away. "I don't need any more time. I want to make love to you, Hadrian," she whispered. "I've wanted it for so long."

Something broke deep within him, the last bit of resistance he had managed to muster crumbling. "Oh, Lilly," he murmured. "I want you, too. I'll make this good for you, darling. I promise."

Then he pressed his lips to hers, kissing her with all the emotion he hadn't yet found the courage to put into words. This time, the kiss was not gentle; it was driven by a need so powerful he felt consumed by it. For the first time, he was kissing a woman who loved him, his wife , and that made all the difference in the world.

As their mouths met, Hadrian's hands tightly gripped Lilly's bare shoulders, pressing her down into the soft mattress, and she gladly let him take control. The fire between them ignited, and she was no longer afraid of the path they were heading down. No matter what her future held, she would always have this night.

His tongue probed her lips, and when she parted them to let him in, she was shocked by the intensity of his passion. He was leaning over her, his skin hot and silky smooth where it touched hers, and it seemed he was touching her everywhere. One of his hands left her shoulder to trail across her face and then her throat, as though he was memorizing every inch of her, and still the kiss went on, so sensual that she felt drugged, completely languid, wishing it would never end.

At last, he cupped the swell of her breast, his touch so tender as he seemed to weigh the soft mound, then lightly caressed her swollen nipple, sending shimmers of delight straight to that spot he had touched that evening in the library. She squeezed her legs tightly shut, aching for that sweet release he had given her before.

His lips left hers, but before she could protest, he trailed them in the wake of his fingertips, until he took her hard nipple between his teeth, biting down lightly at the same time he pressed his forefinger inside her, his thumb rubbing tight circles on that sweet spot. The combined sensations were almost more than she could bear, and a low moan escaped her, something so raw and needy she couldn't believe it had come from her.

"Does that feel good, darling?" he whispered hoarsely, moving to her other breast and biting down lightly on that nipple as well.

"So good," she managed, letting her legs fall open brazenly to give him better access. Whatever he wanted to show her, she was more than willing to learn. She just wanted this pleasure to continue. She wanted the whole experience desperately. She wanted him to take her, possess her, and make her his in every possible way. "I want to touch you, too. Please, Hadrian. Can I see you?"

"There's nothing I'd like more." A hoarse laugh escaped him, and he suddenly rolled away from her so that he was on his back beside her, his big body spread like a feast before her. "Do with me as you like, Lilly. I am yours for the taking."

She pushed herself up on one elbow, letting her interested gaze slowly take him in from head to toe. His blond hair was tousled from her fingertips, his eyes dark and mysterious like the deepest part of the forest. His muscular arms were spread out, showcasing the ropey muscles he had probably gotten from boxing, and his chest was broad and powerful. Taking a deep breath, she let herself finally look at the part of them that so interested her, the part she had felt pressed against her but never seen.

His… She wasn't even quite certain what to call the thick, angry-looking thing that lay upon the muscled ridges of his stomach. That was supposed to go inside of her? Sudden fear swept through her at the very thought. She hadn't expected it to look quite like that. The statues and artwork she had seen had portrayed it far differently.

He must have realized what she was thinking, because he reached out and captured her hand, bringing it toward him until she was touching it, his hand wrapped around hers. "Just touch me," he said raggedly, his chest rising and falling as though he had run for miles. "Please, darling. Your hand feels so good on me."

To demonstrate, he showed her how to stroke him, how to run her hand up and down the velvety stalk, hard yet silky smooth, and so incredibly hot. He let his own hand fall away, and then she was touching him on her own. He bit his lip and threw his head back, obviously enjoying it, and she had never felt so powerful.

He allowed it for a few moments more, but then he moaned, covering her hand with his once again. "It's too much," he said, giving her a pained smile. "I want to be inside you when I come."

She combed through her limited knowledge of the subject, trying to decide what he meant by that, but then he captured her face in his hands, staring at her with undisguised hunger. "Are you sure, Lilly?" he asked, his voice barely a whisper. "There's no going back from this."

"I'm sure," she replied, pushing all her doubts and fears aside. This was Hadrian. He wouldn't hurt her. "I want this, Hadrian. Please."

He nodded, and then he was fully on top of her, his body covering hers, his weight pinning her down. She could feel the hardness of him against her, and despite her nervousness, it sent a thrill of delight through her. He positioned himself between her legs and then spent a few minutes preparing her with his fingers again, using first one and then two, still swirling his thumb around the center of her pleasure. Before long, she had forgotten all about the scary thing yet to come and simply gave herself over to desire. She suddenly shattered once again, gasping and crying out as her body contracted around his fingers and pleasure shimmered through her every nerve ending.

"That's perfect," he murmured, his fingers still deep within her. He pressed tender kisses against her face and throat as she slowly floated back down from the amazing heights he had sent her to. "You're so beautiful, so sweet."

She languidly lifted a hand to his face. "Thank you," she managed. "That was even better than last time."

"I hope you feel the same about what comes next," he said, his voice slightly strangled, and she realized what self-control he was exhibiting in having made sure she found her pleasure first. "It might hurt just a bit this first time. But I've prepared you the best I know how."

Then he removed his fingers and pushed that other part of him against her opening, a heavy pressure that cut through the lingering pleasure. She gasped, squirming against a shimmer of pain, but then he thrust forward, pressing through some barrier until he was seated deep inside her.

"Are you all right," he asked hoarsely, his big arms trembling as he braced himself on top of her. "Did I hurt you?"

To her surprise, the initial pain had already begun to fade. She felt full, uncomfortably stretched, but it hadn't brought the excruciating pain she had expected. "I'm fine," she whispered, brushing a lock of silky blond hair from his beautiful eyes. "It only hurt for a moment."

He gave her a quick smile. "Let's see if we can do better than that."

Reaching between them, he began touching her at the apex of her thighs again, moving slowly in and out of her as he did so. The first few thrusts were uncomfortable, but then the pleasure began to build once again, and it became easier until the pain faded completely, and it started to feel good.

They moved together, their bodies melding into one, their passion burning brighter with each thrust. Lilly moaned softly, her hands gripping Hadrian's arms, trying to hold on to him, to this moment that she hoped would change everything.

"Come for me, Lilly," he whispered, rubbing tight circles on that magical spot while his thrusts inside her became erratic and furious, pounding against her as she held onto him for dear life. "Please, darling. I want to make you feel good again before I let go."

The pleasure swept through her once again as he cried out and shuddered, obviously finding pleasure of his own.

They lay there, panting and spent, their bodies still joined together. Lilly felt an overwhelming sense of peace and contentment. No matter what tomorrow might bring, she was now truly Hadrian's wife.

Hadrian pulled Lilly tighter against him, burying his face in the swirling cloud of her dark hair, his heart still pounding in his chest. Things were moving way too fast. She had said she loved him. He had taken her virginity. She could already be pregnant.

Surprisingly, the thought didn't terrify him as it once had. She wanted a family, and his father demanded it of him. Why was he fighting it? Wasn't it best to just give in to his fate?

So many thoughts and emotions were swirling through his mind, and his first instinct, as always, was to run from them. But he owed it to Lilly to make this moment special. He needed to be the man she thought she loved, whatever that meant.

So, he continued to hold her, slowly stroking her bare back, letting her feel how much he cared. He wasn't ready to say the words yet, but now he knew he had always felt it. Perhaps she was right, and this feeling of oneness, this intimacy, was worth risking everything for.

Her breathing gradually slowed, and her body relaxed against his. She had fallen asleep, and though his arm tingled, he was reluctant to move away from her. This had been a turning point. Their lives were permanently intertwined now.

Then again, maybe they always had been.

He thought about his father's expectations and the life he had left behind in London.

But mostly, he thought about Lilly. The longing in her eyes when she looked at him, the tenderness of her touch, and the way she had opened herself up to him. He had always told himself he didn't need love, but now that she was offering it so selflessly, so bravely, how could he possibly run away from it?

The life he had been living in London had been empty. The past few weeks had taught him that. He had never felt what he was feeling in this moment with any of the women he had ever taken to his bed before.

It terrified him to be responsible for Lilly's happiness and accountable for her heart. But it also filled him with a sense of purpose and strength he had never known.

He was no longer running, no longer fleeing the life his father had planned for him. With Lilly, he had found love and a life worth living, and he would do whatever it took to protect and cherish it.

He would be the man Lilly needed him to be, a man who could love deeply and fiercely—a man who would walk through fire for her.

As they lay there, entwined in the warm blanket, he drifted off to sleep, feeling a peace he hadn't known for a long time. He didn't know what the future held, but for now, he was content just to be with her.