5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Thea

“ I love you,” he called out to me again right before the sword descended on his neck.

“No!” My voice shook the ground below me as I stared into the man’s golden eyes as he kneeled, wounded. I had released some sort of barrier magic, but it did not reach him in time.

That sharp pain on my wrist let me know that I had not been able to save him again.

When I looked up, he was dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Dead.

Never coming back.

Gone.

He didn’t exist anymore.

Dead.

A scream tore from me as I fell to my knees and self-destructed.

★★?★★

A sob tore through me as I sat up in bed. I was sweating from my dream...vision. My face was wet with tears as an aching consumed my chest. He’s going to die, and I won’t save him in time.

Harsh whispers came from the hallway outside of my room, so I slipped out of bed and crept to the door. I opened the door and was greeted by two guards, but nothing else.

“Captain.” They bowed.

“Why are you lingering at my door?”

“The king requested that you have protection.” One of them stuttered out.

“Is everything alright? I thought I heard a noise.” I lied.

“Fine.” They both assured me. Their eyes stared at me, probably because of the tears soaking my face still.

“Protection from whom?” I asked. Did the guards stand outside everyone’s bedroom?

“Cassius and Crimson.” One of them spoke. The other guard gave him a look like he had said too much.

I nodded before shutting the door and going back to my bed. Cassius. I lay in bed and tried to remember the dream man’s face, but I couldn’t. I could still feel the pressure in my chest at his death. It felt all-consuming, and I couldn’t sit there. It would kill me to think about him dying, even if I couldn’t remember anything about his face.

His gold eyes flashed in my mind, and I groaned loudly as pain coursed through me. When I opened my eyes, I glanced around the room before getting up and dressing in my captain’s uniform. The floating orb was in my room again, her color a melancholy gray. I stared at her and swore I saw a reflection of myself in it.

“Are you friendly?” I asked.

Her color turned vibrant green as she twirled around me. It made me feel comforted to see the color.

“Is there a reason only I can see you?”

She flashed orange, but I didn’t know what that meant.

“You don’t speak,” I sighed. She flashed brighter orange, but then she disappeared when a knock on my door startled me.

Quickly, I walked to answer it, thinking it was one of the guards. The door swung open to Jesper standing too close to me. Fuck, why was he so close to my door?

“Your father would like you to meet him in the throne room. I will show you where it’s at.”

“Alright,” I agreed and glanced over my shoulder once more for the floating friend I had seemed to make. She was gone .

“This must be overwhelming for you,” Jesper said as we made our way downstairs.

“Honestly, not really. I thought I would be overwhelmed or maybe even upset, but I don’t feel anything.” I didn’t like it here. I glanced at Jesper and saw his jaw clenched tightly. He looked angry, and I wondered what he was thinking. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, voices penetrated my mind, making me flinch.

“Are you alright?” Jesper asked. I nodded even though voices practically screamed into my mind. Jesper stopped me and stared into my eyes like he was concerned.

She is already acting weird. Something is wrong, and she’s already lying to us.

“I’m fine. It’s just a headache.” I lied. I stared at him and waited to hear his voice again.

What has she remembered that she is already lying about?

My eyes dropped to his mouth to see if he was talking, but he wasn’t.

She wants me to kiss her.

My face contorted with disgust because I did not want such a thing.

“You have food on your face.” I lied. Jesper seemed to snap out of it, and his cheeks heated as he wiped off the nonexistent food and kept walking. My chest was tight with worry and confusion. I did not hear his thoughts—did I? I tried to keep my composure. He was suspicious of me, and that put me on high alert. My body was rigid and tight as I scanned around me for danger. As we approached the large wooden door at the end of the hallway, something about it filled me with dread.

When we entered the room, my father stood in the center of it, staring at me. His throne room fit him somehow. It was flashy and had an ungodly number of jewels in it. Not to my taste at all.

“Thea, thanks for coming in.” My father’s booming voice startled me. “I know you’ve been gone for quite some time, so if you would like a few days to rest, I understand. However, Crimson is planning on declaring war in the coming days, and I would like you to lead the army so that you can break your curse.”

Seriously? I’ve been back for less than a day. I stared at my father, who looked like he was trying to keep his composure. Something dark lurked deep in me. I could feel it coiling tightly inside of me at the sight of him. It was angry and disgusted. I tried to shake the feeling, but I couldn’t.

"You need to go." That deep voice said from somewhere to my left. "I know it's odd that they are sending you away already, but you have to go. You can feel it, can't you? That you do not belong here."

The man stepped forward enough that I could see him in my periphery. I nodded slightly as I watched my father closely.

The more I looked at my father and the throne room, the more I wanted to run away. Leave. Leave. Leave. A feminine voice purred into my mind. It was not my own voice or anyone I had heard before. I glanced around the room to see if someone else was there, but I couldn’t see anyone. The man had disappeared again. Why the hell was my father thinking of sending me away after a few days? With the thought, his voice seeped into my mind as I stared at him.

Just take this mission and leave. She better not make this difficult this time. I need her gone before she starts asking questions.

“Actually, I would prefer to do something with my time. Should I head to the training field?” I agreed because something told me I shouldn’t be here.

Thank the fucking stars.

“No, I have a task for you. You were always the greatest warrior I had—smart, tactical, and clever. We need to know how armed Crimson’s territory is. You and a handful of guards will go to Crimson and see how far you can penetrate. I want to know anything about their army you can gather. This mission is to stay under the radar, no killing unless necessary. Do not get seen by anyone.”

And stay the fuck away from Cassius.

“Alright.” I nodded. Cassius, that name made my chest tight with longing again. “Are you sure I’m ready? Shouldn’t I train first?”

“I think your skills will come to you effortlessly. If you're not up to it, I can appoint Palo as captain of my guard until you feel prepared.”

Just agree to this and go.

“No. I’ll do it.” I was desperate to leave and try to figure things out on my own. They hadn’t even sat and had a conversation with me about everything that happened. It was almost as if they didn’t care. The darkness lingering inside of me hissed at the thought. Did they not miss me in the slightest? They had no questions or curiosities about where I had been or who I was with. It was almost like they knew it already. Sybil had said I would break my curse this time. Did that mean I had tried before? Now I’m pretty sure I wasn’t losing my damn mind when I heard their thoughts.

“Good, now go.”

Alright, prick. I turned on my heel and headed for the doors, where I was greeted by four guards. They bowed, but I ignored them and headed for the stables outside. My father had yet to mention my fire magic, and I wondered if he even knew I possessed it. Was the ability to hear thoughts another form of elite magic? What was this darkness that lived inside of me?

My mind was constantly filled with questions about my family’s odd and unwelcoming behaviors as we rode toward Crimson. None of the guards spoke to me, but I noticed how each of them watched me too closely. What were they looking to see?

★★?★★

We made it to Crimson by nightfall the next day. We waited on the territory line that night to see what patrols would show up, but none did. My men sat away from me and did not engage me in conversation, but I didn’t mind. I stayed up all night because I was restless, and I didn’t trust these men with me.

At first light, I woke the men and led them into Crimson territory. We were met with no resistance. Either this was a trap, or Crimson did not think Cerithia would be stupid enough to cross their borders. We watched for guards all day, but none made an appearance. It wasn’t until we got closer to the city below the black castle that we saw our first soldier .

His crimson-red uniform left no mistake as to who he was. We watched as he seemed to be watching the city border, but not intently. He did not expect anything to lurk in the shadows. He was big and burly; he looked like he would be mean, but something about his face made me... happy.

“Zade!” someone yelled. I watched the man who had been patrolling. Something about his name stuck with me. His face broke out into a comforting smile when he saw the other guard coming toward him.

“Haden, I thought you were off patrol for a few days," Zade said. Haden’s dark blonde hair was chaotic, and his eyes looked directly to where I was hiding. I held my breath, but he looked away without noticing me in the shadows. I watched them both as they laughed with each other. Something about the two of them mesmerized me. Their faces seemed familiar, and that only made me more concerned because they were our enemies. Why did they seem more familiar than my family?

“Cassius is going to be a real dick at training tomorrow.” Haden frowned.

Cassius , my darkness hummed.

“This has never happened. Hopefully, we don’t have to cancel the trials.” Zade looked worried. Trials. Sybil had mentioned them, but what had she said about them? There had been too much going on to remember exactly. My men were standing with me, listening intently.

“Why do you think Cassius is losing his shit every day that passes?” Haden looked directly at where I was again and looked confused. “I think there’s someone over there.” He cocked his head to the side like it would help him see me. “I can sense something.”

Shit.

I didn’t actually feel in danger, but my men were insistent that we leave immediately. I headed toward them but stopped when the man appeared in front of me.

"Wait, you need to see him," he said softly. "He is almost here."

"Who?"

I took a few more steps forward until I heard a third man speak behind me, and something about his voice made me look back. My mind practically ached as if something was trying to break free, but it couldn’t. The man’s black uniform stretched across his broad shoulders. Gods, he was taller than any fae I had seen. Even though I could not see his face, something about him drew me in. I could not stop watching him.

“Cassius,” the men spoke as they bowed.

This was Cassius. My eyes widened as I watched him closely. I took a hesitant step toward him. This was the man the guards insisted might come for me, so they kept guard outside my bedroom. The fae my father wanted me to stay away from, but he didn’t actually warn me against him. That darkness inside of me swarmed feverishly inside of me at the sight of him. It was happy to see him.

“Don’t fucking bow at me,” he huffed. His voice soothed me like a warm hug. I could listen to him speak all day. I couldn’t see anything about him but his dark hair. His shadows swarmed around him like an angry cloud. “Training is two hours earlier tomorrow.”

“For fuck’s sake,” they both groaned.

He laughed softly. I swallowed hard as I stared at Cassius’ back. My eyes locked in on him, hoping he would turn so I could see his face. Show me your face.

“I can’t sleep, so no one will. Not until we find...”

One of my men yanked my arm, so I couldn’t hear what he said. I glared at him. The darkness inside of me wanted me to slit his throat for interrupting what Cassius was going to say.

“There are more guards coming; we should retreat.”

I nodded and glanced over my shoulder, but the three of them were gone. My chest squeezed with emotion, but I didn’t understand why. Haden and Zade had seemed familiar, but they were Crimson soldiers. How could I possibly know them? Perhaps I met them in battle before. The whole way back to Cerithia, I just thought of their faces and the man with shadows. Cassius. My father had talked about him briefly at dinner, like he and Jesper would talk, but that made no sense if he was an enemy. The man who followed me made sure I saw him. Cassius was important, but I didn't know why.

“Did anything look odd to you?” one of the men had asked me. I found his question strange as we dismounted our horses when we were back in Cerithia the following night.

“Just that they didn’t have guards at the border. They aren’t expecting an attack. We got extremely close to their city. I suppose that is odd.”

The guard nodded. I watched him carefully as we were ushered to see my father almost immediately. The king stood in the throne room as we went in, but his eyes drifted to the soldier who had asked me the question. The soldier gave him a subtle nod as if to say no.

“So how was it?”

I want to hear my father’s thoughts.

Please don’t make this difficult.

“Fine, their forces are not waiting around for an attack. It’s like they don’t realize war is coming,” I said. “Are they? Or are you declaring war? ”

“It depends on if Cassius decides to attack before we plan to in a week's time,” my father answered without looking at me. “You must be exhausted. You are dismissed.”

It depends on what you do.

I didn’t know what he meant by that. I nodded and started to leave but paused when the guards didn’t follow.

“Are you guys coming?” I asked.

“I have to get them their wages for going with you. We’ll see you tomorrow.” My father stared at me intently.

Get the fuck out.

“Alright.”

The four guards that accompanied me stayed behind. Once I was out the door, I waited to hear them talking.

“She didn’t seem to know anything,” one of them spoke. “We even saw Cassius.”

“Interesting,” he said. “She didn’t remember him?”

Remember Cassius? I knew Cassius, and my father seemed worried about it. I slipped that nugget of information away for later.

“No.”

“Perfect, we will plan on leaving for war in a few days. She needs to kill Cassius.”

My darkness swarmed at the thought of Cassius dying, and I thought it was odd .

“What are you doing?” I turned to see Jesper.

“Snooping.” I shrugged. I figured acting nonchalantly would throw him off my trail, and when he smiled, I figured it had worked.

“Sounds like you,” he chuckled. “You were always a bit of a troublemaker.”

I nodded but took that as my cue to leave. I hurried past him and pretended to go to my room, but instead, I waited around the corner until I heard my father's throne room door open. Peeking around the corner, I watched the guards shuffle out of the room and disappear down the hallway before Jesper walked into the room with my father. I hurried forward and stood at the cracked door.

"Well, she saw Cassius and didn't remember him." My father said happily. "Maybe all of our plans will come together this time."

"Don't get too hopeful; she still has to kill Cassius."

My father sighed heavily before he spoke. "You can have a little optimism."

"Every time we have optimism, our plan goes to shit," Jesper snapped. "We have sacrificed enough. We can't afford to keep doing this, so it better work this year. My mother won't help another year."

"You sound like your bitter mother," Luren said angrily. "No one has sacrificed more than I have through this damn curse. Do you need to remind your mother that she owes me her cooperation for what she did to my sons?"

Jesper scoffed.

"Your bastard sons. Sons that you didn't care about until you could use them to hold over my mother's head."

Shock coursed through me. I had brothers.

"You little shit." My father began, but Jesper cut him off.

"I would tread very carefully, Luren. You need me and my mother to make sure this all goes in your favor. My mother has sacrificed too, or did you forget who you had those sons with? They were her children too."

What in the actual fuck was happening? My father didn't say anything in return, but I could feel their tension from in the hallway. Did Gwyn know that my father had sons?

"Get out of my sight," Luren demanded. I hurried away when I heard Jesper coming toward the door. It wasn't until I was safe in my room that I let out a deep breath. When I turned toward my bed, a woman stood near the window watching me with her red eyes. But it was the fact that she looked just like me that made me let out a startled scream.

"Shit," she muttered before disappearing. My bedroom door burst open as two guards stormed in.

"Captain?" they asked while looking around .

I opened my mouth, but I couldn't get the words out. My friendly dark green orb appeared in the room and flashed between black and red. I don't know how I knew she was warning me to not say anything, but I did.

"I saw... a spider."

They looked at each other before looking at me suspiciously but didn't question me any further before leaving my room. What the hell is happening?