6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I started to head back to the castle but then stopped when I knew no one was watching me. My darkness could feel Leer’s magic clinging to the air and wanted me to find him. Why was he fighting for Cerithia when he was scared for his own family's safety if they found out he was in the trials? It didn’t make sense.

I followed my darkness to the outskirts of town. His home was one of the shambled buildings I passed by earlier. It needed serious maintenance and looked too small for more than one fae to be living in it. Leer was just getting home with a loaf of bread. He looked over his shoulder like he could feel he was being watched, but he didn’t see me as he went inside.

I waited for a while to make sure I wouldn’t be noticed by anyone. The dirt crunching under my feet was the only noise heard as I snuck up to his home and peered in the window. He was sitting at a tiny table with two young kids, eating a loaf of bread. I knocked on the door, and when he opened it, he tried to close it in my face. I stopped him easily and pushed my way inside.

“I will kill you if you try to harm them for my mistakes,” he sneered as he moved between me and his kids.

“I’m not here to hurt them. I need to ask you questions, and I could tell you were worried about talking with me. I’m sorry to intrude, but it’s important.”

His eyes looked at me and then at his kids. He sighed in defeat as he gestured to the small couch. I watched him as he encouraged his kids to keep eating, and then he closed the blinds in every window and locked the door. His house was too small for the three of them. I looked at the small loaf of bread they were sharing; did they have more food than that?

Leer came and sat across from me. He looked terrified of me, but for some reason, my darkness did not like his fear.

“I know I treated you horribly in the trials, but my kids need me. So, if you kill me, you’ll be killing them too.” Leer ran his fingers through his long hair. "Besides, I was told to be mean to you. Nev said you were our biggest competition, and I needed to win that wish. He paid me a large sum to cause you issues, and I needed the money.”

Leer looked tired. His eyes were dull and sagged with dark circles. It was a stark contrast to who he was at the trials. He was much thinner, too. Was he ill?

“I forgive you for the trials, Leer,” I assured him, even though I never thought I would say these words in my life. “I want to know why you are scared for your family's safety if Cerithia finds out you joined the trials.”

“It’s forbidden.” He leaned back in his chair. “No one from Cerithia may join because Crimson forbade it. Cassius did his best to keep Cerithia out, and I watched him rip another Cerithia fae’s heart from his chest when he tried to sneak in. That was before you arrived at the trials this year. But like I said, I needed that wish, so I was willing to die to try and get it. Your father usually handpicks five guards for the trials each year, but this year was different. He sent only two—the man who Cassius beheaded that first trial day in the hallway and the one he killed before you arrived.”

“But Nev…”

“Not Cerithian. He’s from Kizar. My guess is that your father thought teaming up with Jesper would get more men into the trials, and he was right. I believe your father sent two Cerithian guards so that it didn’t look suspicious to Cassius. He sacrificed them so that the Kizar guards were not looked at too closely.”

His arms crossed over his chest, like he was nervous in my presence. I wasn’t trying to worry him, but he had more information than I did.

“Hadn’t you heard of me before the trials? You must have known why the trials even happened.”

“I’m not from Cerithia; my wife is. I am from Akecia. I knew of the king’s bastard daughter and of her disappearance. I’ve also heard some of the prophet’s telling. Until the trials, I didn’t know they were made for you, to help you.”

“To help me.” I cocked my head to the side as if it would help me understand what that meant.

“Crimson needed you to believe there was a reason to get the bloodstone. A wish granted if you gave it to them.” He leaned back and sighed heavily. “If you left Exile and happened to find yourself in Crimson, would you have been willing to go and retrieve a bloodstone if asked? I mean, if the trials never existed.”

I pondered his words for a moment. Leer made a good point; I wouldn’t have done something simply because someone asked me to. I was more likely to do the opposite.

“Of course not.” I picked the hem of my uniform. “Cassius wanted it to break his curse.”

Leer frowned at me like he truly felt bad for the situation I was in.

“I don’t know the specifics, but I know that bloodstone is important. Crimson wants it.”

“For power,” I muttered.

Leer looked at me, confused. Before leaning forward so he could stare me in the eyes.

“I think it has something to do with your curse.”

“My curse?” I sat up a little more. “What do you mean?”

“I don’t think it’s for power. If it was, then your father would be using the shit out of it. Crimson… Cassius wanted you to give that stone to him. I overheard some men at the trials talking about it. No one really knows, but I think it's about the curse and getting your memories back.”

Leer paused for a long moment, watching me with pity in his blue eyes. “At first, I didn’t understand why he didn’t just tell you and ask you to get the stone, but then I realized you didn’t have memories. You didn’t remember him, but he watched you so closely. I remember thinking how odd it was for him to be so cautious about your safety. Cassius Valeska has a reputation for being a heartless monster, cruel even. Why did he care so much for you, and why was it so important that you gave him the bloodstone? If it has to do with breaking your curse, then why would he want you to remember?”

“But Cassius killed me, and the bloodstone breaks his curse, not mine.” Was everything that Leer was saying true? If it was, why would Crimson want me to remember? Wouldn’t they want me to never have my memories? Leer was right about the bloodstone. If it had any power to be used, my father would use it instead of using me.

Leer frowned at me.

“What curse?” he frowned at me. “Cassius Valeska isn’t cursed.” Leer looked at me oddly. “Why would you think that?”

“My father said that Cassius was cursed and needed the stone to break it.” I stared blankly at him, wondering why he was so adamant that Cassius wasn’t cursed.

“He’s lying to you,” Leer sighed. “I don’t know why, but if Cassius Valeska was cursed, we would all know of it. Cassius is trying to break your curse.”

“Why would he do that? He hates me.” I frowned.

Leer swallowed hard.

“He didn’t look at you like he hated you. He looked like a man longing for something that he couldn’t have.”

This didn’t make sense. My father had no reason to lie to me. Leer, on the other hand, could be feeding me a lot of lies to get back at me for the trials.

“I don’t understand why my father would lie.”

“I don’t know Thea, but you should be cautious. It seems both of us do not have the full story. I wish I could tell you what you want to know, but I don’t have the facts you need. Your father keeps everyone limited on information.”

I sat back on the chair and stared at him. He didn’t look like he was lying to me. My darkness was not trying to warn me away. Something about Leer’s words made more sense to me than anything my family had told me. But was that because I was desperate to understand why Cassius would do something so malicious to me?

“What did you need the wish for?” I finally asked.

His eyes shifted to his kids, who laughed behind us.

“We live in squalor. I can hardly afford to buy a loaf of bread to feed my children. All of my money goes into taking care of my wife, who is ill. Besides, the king hardly pays us and then demands taxes that take almost everything back. It’s nothing like what you saw at the Crimson Kingdom. When I got back from the trials, I joined the Cerithian Guard hoping that it would change our situation, but it has only gotten worse.”

I glanced at his kids. Both boys looked like him with their blonde hair but had the prettiest amber-colored eyes. No, it wasn’t like the Crimson Kingdom. It was as if no one was happy in Cerithia. Before I could ask my other questions, I heard a soft whimper of pain come from a room behind him. He immediately got up and rushed back through the doorway. The kids had stopped laughing as the pained sobs filled the small space. I stood up cautiously and walked to the doorway to see Leer sitting on the edge of a small bed, wiping sweat from a woman’s forehead. She was too pale and skinny. Was this his wife? Her hair was dark against the white pillow.

She groaned in agonizing pain. I looked at Leer, and he looked completely devastated. He knew he couldn’t help her, and it was destroying him.

“Leer,” she whimpered. “It hurts.”

“I know, sweetheart.” His eyes looked up at me as I walked toward her.

There was an overwhelming sense of sadness as I got near her. She peered at me with dark eyes that held little consciousness. This woman was on the cusp of dying. Something odd pulled me closer, though. Something foreign that I had not felt before. My eyes drifted over her frail body, and with my magic, I could see her sickness coursing through her veins. It was even overtaking her heart, which was nearly covered in a deep, evil blackness. I realized the strange tugging I had felt was death lurking. She was about to die.

“What’s wrong with her?”

“Some sort of infection, but nothing can cure it. We’ve tried everything we can afford. My wish was going to be to save my wife.”

Leer didn’t bother hiding his emotions as tears ran freely down his face. His pure devastation was evident, and it affected me to see. I sat on the bed next to her, and she immediately reached for my hand, like I was a comfort. Nobody had wanted to reach for my hand in so long, and it touched me in a way that I couldn’t quite describe. I grabbed it and could feel how fragile she truly was. Her hand was too cold, and her skin felt paper-thin. I smiled at her when she focused on me. She did not look scared of me, even though I looked like a monster.

“Are you here for me?” she whispered.

I wasn’t sure what she meant, so I just responded with, “No.”

Her small sigh of relief confused me, but I didn’t dwell on it.

I could feel my magic growing in me—it was humming in my chest. I knew what I needed to do. Gathering my strength, I let Sybil’s healing magic flow freely from my hands.

I focused on her as red and orange swirled from my body to hers. It ran through her veins and made her whole body glow as I tried desperately to heal her. Not being too experienced with this magic, I didn’t know how strong it was. Could it bring someone back from being so close to death? I smiled as I felt her cold hand warm up almost instantly in mine as my magic poured into her.

I continued to hold her hand and smile at her, bending all of my will to this task. Leer’s eyes stared at me and his wife. The glow of the magic made the room look like it was brightened by candles. It was peaceful.

The healing magic stopped abruptly, and her eyes softly closed. I held my breath as I waited to see if it had worked.

She seemed to be sleeping, but I did not see her chest rise and fall with a breath.

Leer and I watched her without saying a word. Both of us were too scared to jinx it. My eyes refused to look away from her frail, seemingly lifeless body. Leer’s soft cries were agonizing to hear as he buried his face into her still chest. He was pleading with her to not leave him. He spoke of the life they had always talked about, their children, and how he had never loved another woman besides her.

It was too much to witness, so I finally looked away from her. My hand squeezed hers as I tried to understand why Leer and his children deserved this heartbreak. A moment later, I gasped as the woman’s hand squeezed mine gently. I blinked slowly when I thought my eyes were deceiving me, but they were not. Her sunken cheeks began filling in, and her loose-fitting nightgown was fitting more like it should. Even her dark hair didn’t seem to be as brittle as it had been mere moments before. Then she opened her amber-colored eyes, eyes that matched her children’s perfectly. She looked around, confused, but only for a moment.

Something close to relief flickered in her eyes before she reached up and ran her hand through Leer’s hair. His head snapped up to see her awake. Leer’s eyes widened in disbelief before he pulled her to him and sobbed into her neck. He pulled away and kissed his wife. She returned the kiss feverishly, then sat back to look up at me.

“Thank you,” she choked out. “Death was coming for me, and you pulled me back out.” She leaned over, and we hugged tightly. Then she pulled back and looked at Leer, who looked at her like he was seeing a ghost.

“Leer,” she whispered.

“Larissa,” he choked out through a heart-shattering sob as he grabbed her again and held her tightly. Cries escaped them both, and it was enough that the kids came in to see what was wrong.

“Mommy!” They both shrieked and tackled her with hugs. I felt like I was intruding on a special moment, so I stood up and walked out of the room. I stopped at the doorway and looked back at them. What did it feel like to have others care so much about you? To have a family like this? Jealousy bloomed in my chest at the sight of them. I wanted this. I wanted a husband who held me like that. I wanted kids crawling around my bed, laughing. I sighed because I knew that life would never be possible for someone like me. The thought was enough to make tears well in my eyes as I turned away.

I slowly headed toward the front door but was forced to stop when Leer grabbed my arm and hugged me tightly as sobs of relief racked his body. I hugged him back because it was nice to feel like less of a monster, even if only for a moment. Glancing over his shoulder, I saw his wife at the doorway with her two kids, smiling at me like I had hung the stars above.

“I am forever in debt to you, Thea Alzara. You have my undying loyalty for whatever you may need. You gave me my life back, and I can’t explain how much this means. Even after how I treated you."

He released me and kneeled before me like I was the queen. His tears flowed freely from him as he gripped my hand in his and kept kneeling.

My mind was reeling with everything, but my ever-present hope flashed through it all. Did he really mean that? He certainly didn’t look like a man who was lying to me.

“Tell no one about what I did. If they ask, she got better with whatever medicine you’ve been giving her.” I paused for a moment, then gripped his hand harder. “I forgive you, Leer. If I were in your spot, I would have done anything to save my family too.”

I started to turn, but he stopped me again by not releasing me.

“I know about Exile,” he said quickly, making me stop immediately. When I turned to him, he still kneeled in front of me.

“What?”

“I know of Exile. I also know that your father told you it didn’t exist and that he sent guards to verify it.” Leer paused for a moment. “But I also know that he lied to you. He never sent any guards.”

The revelation was enough to make my darkness explode into the room, startling his children. They ducked behind their mother and watched me in awe as flames and shadows seemed to fill the air around me.

“How do you know this?” Furthermore, could I trust him?

“Your father had tracked down Exile, but he did it before you came to the trials. I do not know why, but my friend was one of the guards that went on the mission. Afterwords, your father met with all the guards before you started training us and said he would execute anyone who verified Exile’s existence or spoke of elite magic holders. Specifically, Kai and Kaz.”

My heart was pounding so fast that it made hearing him difficult. Leer frowned at me as I held my chest. My breathing became rapid.

“K-K-Kaz, K-Kai?” I stuttered out.

“We were under the impression that the elitists were with you in Exile, but now your father is trying to cover it up, and I do not know what the reason would be. He’s also told the town’s fae that you were in Crimson.”

“Why are you telling me any of this?” I asked suspiciously.

“Because you saved my family tonight, even after the torment I caused you. I would not have survived this realm if Larissa had died. You gave me everything when you saved her. I am indebted to you, and I will stand by you in any decision you wish to make. As far as I’m concerned, you are my queen.”

He bowed his head down, his children and wife doing the same. Something about the gesture was familiar to me, and it brought forth a sense of pride.

But my mind raced with everything Leer was telling me. Hopefulness for my situation bloomed in my chest. I now knew that my mind wasn’t broken. I wasn’t crazy; my friends were real. But that meant my father didn’t want me to find them. Why?

My darkness swarmed around me, making my skin glow brightly with red and orange swirls. Betrayal pumped through me, but doubt still gnawed at me. I wasn’t sure if I could take Leer for his word. This could still be a trick.

“I will go to Exile myself and look,” I whispered. I kneeled to Leer’s level so I could look him in the eyes as I spoke next. My darkness waited to feel his fear as I said, “If this is a trick or you have lied to me, I will come back and kill you, Leer.”

Leer’s blue eyes stared into mine, and not an ounce of fear came from him.

“I would expect nothing less.” He nodded. “I swear on my family and the gods; I am not lying to you.”

I nodded as I stood.

“You are excused from guard duty for the rest of the week to spend it with your wife.” I smiled at her when she gave me a look of sadness, then turned just as Larissa spoke.

“You made a mistake coming to Cerithia. Your father is not a kind man.”

I spoke without turning to look at them.

“I am learning that he is the king and not my father.”

Then I left.