7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

C erithian guards were constantly present in the hallways. The way they watched my every move made me feel like a prisoner, even though I had chosen to come here. It didn’t matter where I was; there was guaranteed to be a guard or two lingering. At first, I thought it was normal, but after talking with Leer, I wondered if they only followed me around like this.

I had awoken this morning to my own screams as I dreamt of something I couldn’t remember, my head pounding and my body aching with exhaustion. I had tossed and turned most of the night, replaying both my conversation with Leer and how my family had treated me at the disastrous meeting. At points, I would convince myself Leer was lying, but then I always wondered... what if he wasn’t?

My darkness had never relented last night. My eyes had remained black, and my swirls stayed bright on my skin. I felt rage, but not rage like I did when I thought of Cassius. No, this rage felt familiar to me, almost as if I had felt this betrayal before.

That was why I decided to see if Leer’s story checked out.

The sun beamed through the tall windows of the castle, warming the air so it felt sticky against my skin as I walked through the corridors. My eyes darted to the family portrait in the hallway, making my feet halt immediately. This wasn’t my first time seeing it, but it made me feel like shit the more I stared at it.

My father and the queen stood in the back as Tally and Mae sat in front of them. No one smiled in the portrait. Perhaps that was a traditional pose for royalty. I was obviously missing. I wondered if my father would order a new one now that the family was back together, but deep inside, I was sure I already knew that answer.

My father’s laughter caught my attention. Tearing my eyes away from the portrait, I headed toward the sound.

This was the first laughter I had heard from my father, and I was intrigued. I walked through the open wooden door to my left, where I had heard him. He sat at a long dining table with my family and Jesper, eating breakfast. I frowned as I took in the sight of them together because I had not been invited. Every interaction I had with them now would make me question their intentions.

“Thea.” Jesper was the one to notice me. His handsome face broke into a smile at the sight of me, and he stood to greet me politely. My insides churned at how he could pretend like he wasn’t a complete prick.

“I didn’t realize we ate together as a family ,” I said as I stepped toward them. The queen’s look of irritation stopped me from continuing but made my darkness happy. It loved to cause her discomfort. “Or should I leave?” I glanced at my father for his permission.

He looked around the table, but his green eyes lingered on Jesper, who gave him a subtle nod.

“Please, sit.” He gestured to a chair across from Jesper. The tension around the table made my chest tight. I rubbed the blood bond on my arm as I fidgeted in my seat. “You took off last night?” my father broke the silence.

“I didn’t want to hear my family keep the truth from the fae that I am supposed to be fighting for.” I glared at him as a servant placed a plate of food in front of me. Something about my family and this kingdom hasn’t seemed to make sense ever since I came here.

“We do not need to explain ourselves to you,” Gwyn hissed.

“I’m just trying to fathom why my family would not tell the kingdom that I was cursed and not living in Crimson,” I spoke with a firm voice as I stared her down.

“Do not start an argument that you know nothing about,” my father warned. “We will not explain every decision to you. It is for the best; trust us.”

I scoffed. Jeb walked in, glaring at me as he headed for my father and whispered something in his ear. My father’s eyes snapped to mine, and I leaned back in my chair, sneering at Jeb. I had a sneaking suspicion that Jeb had just told my father what I did yesterday while in town.

“Thea, you need to stay at the castle from now on. No more visits to town,” my father sighed. Did he think I would ever agree to that? I was never going to be a prisoner again.

“You went to town?” Gwyn yelled at me. Her normally pale face had reddened in her anger.

Her words immediately made my magic surge forward. Fire mist wrapped around me in fury because she had no right to say anything. My family all froze at the sight of me, with my power wrapping and twisting around me in an angry buzz. My eyes pulsed with spots of red as I stared down at each one of them.

“Yes, I did, and it was very enlightening. It seems the whole city is repulsed by me. But don’t worry, I think I made a very compelling point to the fae of Cerithia.” I smiled wickedly.

“What did you do?” Gwyn asked. “Luren, she should not be allowed in public when she looks like that. She makes us look bad.” Gwyn glared at me. All I could do was focus on my father’s giant golden crown on his head. Those men at that cafe shouldn’t have treated me so disgustingly, but I was starting to get the impression that I could be treated poorly by anyone.

“If we tell you not to leave the castle, then you will listen,” my father declared. “You killed a man yesterday and cut the tongue from another.”

“You stupid Crimson-" Gwyn started, but I gave her a menacing look that let her know if she continued that sentence, she would be dead.

Tally and Mae practically choked on their fancy meal at the news. Tally’s hand flew over her mouth as she looked at her mother.

Rage filled me. I did not choose to come here and be treated like trash. Glancing around at my family, I bit back the rage that was coursing through my veins at a violent rate. My fire mist whipped more violently around me, but now shadows intertwined with it—Cassius’ shadows.

“Put your magic away,” Gwyn demanded, but I just turned my black eyes toward her and didn’t look away until she visibly shrank back at my appearance.

“This is your home,” my father spat. His words broke something inside of me. I could no longer accept the fact that I had betrayed them, and maybe I should be treated poorly. No, they simply hated me here.

“This is no more a home than it is a prison,” I shot back.

They all watched me like I was losing it, which I was. But this was just a small sliver of the rage swarming dangerously inside of me. A rage that started because of Cassius is now being fueled because of this fake family and kingdom.

A moment later, she appeared. The woman with star-colored eyes and golden skin smiled at me as my darkness raged. I stared at her, wondering where she had been.

“Ask them if they will make a new family portrait with you,” she demanded of me. No one batted an eye, so they obviously hadn’t heard her.

“Will there be a new family portrait painted for the hallway?” I asked, catching them off guard.

“That painting has been hanging there for nearly fifty years; why would we change it?” Tally scoffed.

It hit me that the painting had been there longer than I had been missing. My father seemed to understand why I asked, and a moment of worry flashed across his features before he hardened his face. His hands flew up in defense.

“You did not want to be in the portrait, Thea. You did not like the title of princess. You wanted to be the captain of my guard for the love of the gods.”

“Do you really think I will believe that?”

Something deep in my broken memory was struggling, wanting to be free. It was like an itch I couldn’t scratch; it became more insistent but never surfaced. Why was my family lying to me?

“Push to be in it,” the mysterious woman spoke.

“Well, I would like to be in it now.” I pushed to see how they would react.

“Luren,” Gwyn hissed through clenched teeth, but I could feel fear from her and my father pumping through them rapidly.

“We will discuss this after you’ve settled here.” He agreed, but I knew it was just to pacify me. Something deep inside my mind knew they would never include me in something like that.

“I want to hear that you will include me in the family portrait. You said I didn’t want to be in it before, and now I do. So can we get a new one done?”

Mae and Tally exchanged glances with each other before looking at their mother. Gwyn didn’t look to my father for an answer. It was clear that she made decisions without talking them over with him. In truth, I didn’t care about being in their stupid portrait, but the more they refused, the more I felt myself pulling away from them.

“We will not be doing a new portrait,” she said.

“Of course you won’t,” I snapped.

The woman with star-colored eyes watched me, and for the first time, she smiled at me like she had witnessed something great. Then she disappeared in a blink of an eye.

“I would still like to go to Exile to see for myself that it doesn’t exist,” I spoke without looking at my father.

“They are all dead, Thea, and Exile does not exist,” Jesper was the one to answer this time. “I sent Kizar guards to the Forbidden Wood where you said they were. They found nothing.”

“Maybe they didn’t go far enough...” I started to argue.

“They found a large oak tree with the X carved into it. But there was no boundary, no homes or buildings, no Exile. I promise, I made them scour the woods for days. It’s not there.”

Jesper's voice was gentle, like he was trying not to hurt my feelings. All it did was confirm to me that my father was likely lying to me. My father had already said they didn’t find anything at all, especially not the tree marked with an X. If Jesper had found it, then that meant I was there, and Exile had existed at some point.

I dropped the conversation and ate at this realization. No one said a word. My father had been laughing before I joined them, and now the table seemed so tense. Anger returned to me when I realized that they hadn’t actually invited me to eat with them. Couldn’t they at least have pretended to enjoy my company? They could have acted like they missed me. My darkness raged a war inside of me. It wanted me to explode at them. It wanted me to demand answers, but I also knew that they wouldn’t tell me anything if I asked.

“Did I have friends before I disappeared?” I asked. Maybe they could fill in the gaps for me. There were so many things that didn’t make sense, and I trusted no one at this table with me.

Mae and Tally laughed like it was the most ridiculous thing they had ever heard. Then the queen laughed at me. Guess that answered that question. I stood up, my darkness not taking their disrespect a second longer. My hands slammed down on the wooden table to silence them. Our glass plates clunked under the force.

They all froze as the swirls on my skin glowed more brightly. Shadows and fire mist swirled around me in an angry cloud. My fire magic burned the imprints of my hands into the top of the table.

“Is there something funny to all of you sitting here about the fact that I can’t remember anything?”

No one spoke.

“Why does my own family think it is acceptable to speak to me like this?” I hissed. No one said anything, but just gawked at me. “Answer me!” I yelled so loudly that the guards all lifted their weapons at me. With a flick of my wrist, their weapons evaporated under my fire mist. Fear now laced everyone’s faces. It made my darkness happy to see it.

“Thea, you better calm down now,” my father tried to sound authoritative, but it made me chuckle.

“How about you stop letting everyone here disrespect me? Is this why the fae in the city believe it’s alright to treat me terribly? Because they know my own family does the same.”

“Thea…” Jesper started, but I leveled him with a glare that had him shutting up immediately. I gripped my dagger in my hand.

“I suggest you shut your mouth,” I warned him.

“You betrayed us!” My father stood and slammed his fists down too.

“You mean I was tricked by Cassius? You even said he enchanted me, and I figured it out and came back. I fought for you, and he killed me! How did I betray you?”

No one said a word. Liars.

“I suggest you guys start showing me respect if you expect me to fight for this kingdom, because I can still decide not to.”

I turned from them without another word and left quickly.I needed air and fast. My darkness whispered that I should hurt all of them as I headed away from the castle and to the woods. If everyone here thought I was a monster and they could treat me terribly, then I would give them a real reason too. I didn’t make it far before I heard someone moving behind me.

When I turned, my father stood with his guards. I didn’t wait for him to say anything before storming away from him. However, it only took a moment before I heard him catch up to me.

“Thea!” His tone demanded that I stop, but I didn’t. I honestly didn’t care if he was upset. My eyes flickered around for Wisp out of instinct, but I didn’t see her. Where was she?

“Thea.” He ran ahead to cut me off, and I glanced at him. “Your behavior is uncalled for. The girls were cruel to you, and I assure you I will talk to them. You must understand that we are all in an awkward position. When you disappeared, you were still not on good terms with us. I thought I could just understand that you didn’t mean to betray us and that Cassius tricked you. I thought we could move on like it never happened, but obviously there are still resentments. We will do better as your family to forgive you.”

“No one here has tried to make me feel welcomed. Why should I want your forgiveness anymore?” I snapped back as my blood ran cold at his words.

“I want to apologize for how your return has been handled,” my father sighed. “We have not made this transition easy for you, and I’m aware that we must do better. Please forgive me for not knowing how to support you.”

I fumed at his words. I was his daughter, and he did not know how to make me feel welcome.

“There is another reason why I find it difficult to trust you.” My father’s green eyes glanced over my shoulder as he seemed lost in a memory. “Your mother betrayed me too. I thought she loved me like I loved her, but I didn’t know that she was such a cruel and manipulative woman.”

I froze at the mention of my mother. I was desperate to learn anything about her.

“What did she do?”

“Your mother promised me an heir so powerful that the realms would never see another with such magic ever again. My biggest fear back then was not having a powerful heir for the throne, so I agreed. I knew of your fire magic, but your mother had bound all your other magic inside of you when you were a child and didn’t tell me. She finally confessed when I noticed how tired and sick you seemed. I begged her to set your magic free, but she thought you would use it to kill her. You were angry that it was trapped inside of you. It was so powerful that it needed energy, and the only way it could get it was to take it from you, from your soul.”

“Bayla promised that she would take away the binding spell on the blood moon, but when the day came, she was nowhere to be found. I went to find her and stumbled upon the entire coven, slaughtered. Your mother was a blood witch.”

A blood witch.I was a witch.

Cassius’ words came back to me from when I asked him about the blood bond. A blood witch showed me once. He had been talking about me.

“Bayla killed the entire coven and herself so that your magic could never be freed. She cursed you to die young and never reach your potential. I honestly think she was jealous of your power.”

My mind mulled over his words. Did my own mother truly do such a terrible thing to me? There was a chance that what he said was true. I couldn’t be sure because I didn’t know her.

“So, I’m part blood witch?” The phrase made my mouth dry.

My father nodded.

“The last in Elloryon that we are aware of,” he sighed as he stopped to look at me.

“How did the spell break? I mean, obviously, I can use all my magic now, so I was somehow freed.”

My father’s jaw clenched for a moment.

“I hired every witch, healer, and dark magic fae I could find to free you. That is how you met Sybil. She had always been the best healer in Elloryon, but even she couldn’t free you. When Cassius killed you, Cerithian armies were moving into Crimson lands for war. I happened to be there just in case Crimson wanted to negotiate, but I stumbled upon Cassius being reprimanded by the gods. When I saw your lifeless body at his feet, I ran to you. I begged them to bring you back. They agreed, and it was then that I asked them to let your magic free, so that you would not be cursed to die young. Thankfully, they agreed to that too.”

“Why would they ever agree to bring me back? Fae die all the time. I’m sure I was not the first fae to die at the hands of someone they loved.”

“I believe that the god, Mikel, wanted to punish you for loving the wrong man. They felt disappointed that they had gifted you such power, and you almost let it go to waste—all over a man who had betrayed you without a second thought. You have a prophecy tied to you, and it has not been fulfilled yet.”

“Why did they not just kill Cassius for what he did to me?” Something wasn’t clicking about this.

“Mikel seemed to think this was a better punishment for Cassius. Killing him would simply allow his soul to move on to his next life. That is not a punishment. They said that Exile would be an escape for you to live in until the curse was broken. Mikel said you could have one chance every year to break your curse. If you chose the wrong side to fight for, then you would die and try again until you got it right. This is the first year you’ve chosen correctly. You didn’t choose Cassius.”

My father reached over and squeezed my hand to comfort me. I wanted to rip my hand from his, but I kept my composure so that he didn’t realize his slip-up. He just admitted that the gods sent me to Exile. He accidentally let the truth slip out, and my darkness clawed to get out of me and punish him. I would destroy him and his kingdom if I found out all of this had been a lie. The thought made my darkness settle down. A sense of calm overtook me; I finally felt like I knew that Leer was not lying to me. My father was the liar, and it felt good to know that.

“I have another confession.” My father frowned. “Gwyn and the girls have never liked you, but that is completely my fault. I hope you do not think lowly of me when I admit I was already married to Gwyn when your mother approached me. Gwyn had been having difficulty conceiving an heir. Your mother knew that it was a weakness of the kingdom, and she exploited it. It was a lapse of judgment on my part, but I do not regret it because it gave me you.”

I didn’t say anything. Words escaped me as I tried to process everything that my father was saying.

As I glanced at his saddened features, I felt nothing. My darkness practically gagged at his fake love and false concern painted on his face. I swallowed down all the nasty insults I wanted to hurl at him. My mind mulled over my father’s words and his slip-up.

“We will try better,” he promised. “I try not to blame you for falling for Cassius’ lies because I know that you didn’t mean to. I’ve let Gwyn and the girls treat you poorly for my own mistakes. I will be a better father this time, Thea. I will repair all the damage both Cassius and I have caused you.”

“Why are you telling me all of this?”

My father turned and looked me straight in the eyes.

“Because I’m worried that we are messing this up. I do not want to lose you again. Despite what your mother did, I loved her. You are the only piece of her I have left.” There was a real sadness that swirled in his green eyes. I didn’t say anything back to him.

He turned slowly and began walking back up the path. I watched him retreat toward the castle, but I didn’t follow right away. A heavy sigh escaped me as he disappeared from my sight, and I allowed my darkness to creep out of me.

Wisp was there suddenly. She floated around me with her black flames. Something dangerous swirled inside of me as I accepted that my father was a liar. Knowing this new information allowed my emotions to calm a bit and my heart to slow down. Wisp turned white as I started for the castle, and when I glanced at her, she flickered closer to me.

“My father made a big mistake, Wisp. He just admitted that Exile was real when, before, he was so adamant that it had never existed.” I sighed and muttered to her, “It looks like I’m going to Exile.”