5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

S tanding in front of the mirror in my room, I stared at myself in my newly tailored captain’s uniform. Blue did not suit me in the slightest. I had been back to training for nearly a week, and I had not seen anyone from my family during that time. So, I was surprised when Jesper found me and gave me my new uniform, saying I needed to wear it to the meeting tonight.

My eyes stung with tiredness. I was pushing myself too hard at training, but it was hard to stop when it was all I had to keep me sane. My eyes drifted down my uniform, and I paused before lifting the sleeve of my arm up to reveal the communication bond I had with Cassius. I traced the red crown on my arm, stopping at the crack that ran through it. Could he still feel me through this bond? Flashes of him giving it to me played through my mind. I closed my eyes, wishing I could have had a little longer to pretend with him. I knew I shouldn’t feel this way. I shouldn’t mourn his loss.

Straightening up, I yanked my uniform down over my bond, but the weight of losing Cassius was crushing me.

Sighing, I put my viper-handled dagger into my boot and headed out. Jesper had told me the gathering was in the ballroom attached to the throne room. I hadn’t even bothered asking him what the meeting was for.

When I entered the room, a hundred fae turned toward me. I raised my chin, so they knew I was not intimidated by their cold glares. Immediately, I found my family standing at the front of the room. I walked toward them quickly as others gazed at me, but I didn’t bother looking around.

I stood at the end of the group next to Mae, who scoffed quietly under her breath. My father and Gwyn were whispering harshly to one another before my father turned and came to me.

“Thea, what are you doing?” His nostrils flared.

“I’m sorry I’m late. Jesper only told me twenty minutes ago.”

“It’s not that. You can’t stand up here with us.” He gave me a pleading look.

“Where should I stand?” I glanced to see no other space for me up front.

“You can sit with the commoners.” His words made me frown. “Only the royal family can stand here.”

My darkness surged forward before I could contain it. My eyes flashed black, and my father stumbled back slightly.

“And I’m not part of your family.”

“Not in the royal sense,” he clipped before turning his back on me.

Heat filled my cheeks as I stepped down and sat in the front row. The fae sitting closest to me scooted away, so I was alone. I refused to look up when my father greeted everyone. My hands tangled together in my lap as I focused on not being upset.

“We understand there are concerns among the commoners, so we invite you all to tell us what we can do.” My father’s voice was void of any kindness. He sounded angry that there were complaints. It was a long moment before I heard a fae scuffle up the aisle and stop beside me.

“Your Majesty, I speak for all of us when I say thank you for allowing us to voice our concerns.” The old man stuttered out his words. “Our concerns lie solely with the return of Thea.”

My head snapped up to the old man, my darkness still clinging to me, making my eyes black. I could practically taste the fear of everyone in here once I glanced up.

“What concerns are those?” Gwyn smiled smugly at me.

“Well, she has been missing for years, presumed to be living in Crimson. And now she is here, in our home, and we are concerned about what her intentions are.”

The other fae muttered in agreement with his statement. Why did they all think I was in Crimson? Did my father not tell anyone about my curse?

I looked at my father, but he didn’t even spare me a glance.

“Thea is here because the prophet spoke of her killing kings and crumbling kingdoms. She is here to fight for this kingdom and kill our enemies, including Crimson.”

His words weren’t cruel, but my heart ached slightly at the sound of them. I had hoped he would have told them that this is my home too, and I belong here. Why wouldn’t he tell them about the curse and Cassius tricking me? All the fae thought I had been living happily with Cassius for years. There was no way they would ever forgive me for that. Gwyn stared me down as she opened her mouth.

“Thea is paying off her betrayal by fighting for us. If you are worried she is unpredictable, then do not fear about that. Her father has her on a very small rope; she is never out of our sights.”

My darkness seeped out of me slowly as I listened to her. It sounded like I was their fucking pet. I stood up, pissed off at how they had not said anything truthful. They could have put an end to this hatred from the other faes by telling them what really happened.

“Thea?” my father questioned me.

“Why are you not telling them the truth? That I did not intentionally betray this kingdom. I was tricked and enchanted by Cassius, and I came back immediately once I learned of it. You are letting these fae think I am a traitor. Do they even know that I was cursed?”

Jesper and Gwyn raised their brows at me before glancing at my father, who stared at me.

“Because you are a traitor, Thea. Whether you feel it was intentional or not, you are a traitor to the crown. Do not ever talk to a member of the royal family in that tone again.” His voice was dismissive, which instantly enraged me. My magic was bleeding to the surface, and my skin began to glow with red and orange swirls.

“Witch!” someone yelled, making the room break out in chaos. The fae scrambled from me like I would eat the flesh from their bones.

My father started walking toward me, but unable to face him, I ran out of the room and toward town. My anger was too out of control to talk to him. I knew I would do something that I regretted if I stayed here.

I left the castle and made my way to the main road. My lungs burned as I ran to the city I had not been allowed to visit.

A part of me wanted to see if the fae there would treat me with the same cold indifference that I got from my family and the others at the meeting tonight.

Gods, I missed the cooler air of Crimson. Here, the sun shone so hot that it made everything miserable.

The heat made sweat bead on every part of my skin, and I hated it. It reminded me of Exile.

The path to town wasn’t paved in stone but was instead just a carved-out dirt path. I hadn’t been here yet since my return, and I had hoped that I liked it as much as the Crimson Kingdom’s city. When I got to the outskirts, I stopped and looked at the shambled buildings and homes that lined the dirt roadways. My eyes flowed over the wooden structures that looked in desperate need of repairs. As I moved closer to the town square, the buildings became bigger and were in better condition.

Most of the nicer buildings were made of gray stone, like the castle. I looked around at the fae as they watched me. No one smiled or waved. Instead, they all stared like I was a spectacle, like they were seeing a monster in the flesh. Silence engulfed everything as those around me recognized who I was. I ignored them and continued to explore.

There was no laughter or music. No dancing in the streets as there had been in Crimson. The only beauty that I could see came from a pretty, vine-covered fountain that was covered in blue flowers. It was the prettiest thing I had seen here yet.

A bench next to the fountain caught my attention, so I decided to sit. It was difficult to ignore the stares because no one seemed to be happy to see me. The reactions of the fae here were the same as those at the castle. All this hatred toward me for what? Because I had been tricked by Cassius? Shame filled me. They clearly didn’t care that I was back. If anything, I had the feeling they wanted me gone. Glancing around the streets, I tried to focus on the buildings and shops. Something here would certainly trigger a memory. As it stood, I had no memories at all of my time in Cerithia, except for those with Cassius on the night of the blood moon when we were younger. All my memories were of Cassius in some way or another.

I saw a couple walk out of a small cafe storefront holding a drink that looked refreshing in this blistering heat. I stood, crossing the street, to duck into the shop and get one for myself. As soon as I walked in, all the chatter stopped. Feeling uneasy, I walked up to the man making drinks and gave him a friendly smile.

“Hi, I saw a woman holding a green drink. Could I get the same thing?”

His dark eyes moved over me, and disgust filled his features.

“We’re out.” He barely paid me any attention before he tried to help whoever was behind me.

“Excuse me, I wasn’t done.”

His eyes shifted to me and then ran down the red, orange, and black swirls that tattooed my skin. He scoffed with hatred. My eyes darted to others, and I realized that they all held the same look.

I sighed in frustration. This was my home? These are the fae that I chose to fight for.

“We're out of everything that you want. Feel free to leave and run back to the castle. No one in town wants to see you,” he spat. Great, another fae who treated me like trash. I looked around, and everyone in the shop was staring at me like I was a monster. It was obvious that they didn’t want me in here. This pissed me off because I didn’t want to be here either. And yet here I was, fighting for this fucking kingdom that didn’t even want me, and I was starting to ask myself why.

“I think I’ll have a drink, like I fucking asked.” I glanced at him, making my fire magic swarm around me. “I suggest you hurry up before I lose my temper.”

This made the other fae gasp. I did not have the same restraint with these assholes as I had with the two noble daughters who spoke poorly at me. Here, someone would die if they weren’t careful.

“Chop, chop, prick. I’ve got things to do.”

My darkness hummed at the fear in his eyes and body. But this male did not let it show to the others.

"Well, look at that, everybody; the Crimson whore thinks she has the power here,” he laughed, which made others laugh too. Before he could say another word, I grabbed the back of his head and slammed it down onto the wooden counter. The crunch of his nose made me smile. This evil rage inside wanted more pain. My eyes pulsed red.

My fingers grabbed his red hair and yanked him up. I leaned my ear closer to him as if I were hard of hearing.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that lovely nickname you gave me.”

“N-nothing,” he stuttered.

“Oh, my mistake.” I smiled and let him go. My eyes flashed black and made him stagger backward.

“Crimson monster,” someone muttered from behind me. I turned, and my eyes found the man. His eyes widened when he realized I heard him. Another man who was disrespecting me. This wouldn’t be tolerated, especially when I was fighting for them. I grabbed my dagger and walked to him. Everyone was silent. He tried to run, but I twisted him in my darkness and held him in place.

“Unfortunately, your stupidity has now cost you your tongue.”

I roughly grabbed his face with my free hand and pried open his mouth with my magic. Staring into his terrified eyes, I used my viper-handled dagger to cut his tongue from him. His yells only made me feel better. I dropped him to the ground as he sobbed, which was the only sound in the stunned room. I wiped the blood from my blade on his white shirt before heading to the counter again. I no longer cared for the forgiveness of these fae or this kingdom.

“Where’s my drink?” I asked the large, red-headed fae. He jumped at my words and started making it. I turned to the horrified faces. Leaning my hip against the counter, I played with my dagger, twisting it in my fingers as I smiled.

“You think that you would show more respect to someone who chose to fight for your homes, fight for you. A woman who could kill you all with a flick of her wrist.”

No one said anything, but stars above, their fear made my darkness swarm in a frenzy.

As I looked at them and felt their hatred for me, I realized that this place could never have been my home. Then another, more twisted thought struck me. Maybe I would crumble this kingdom as well, because these ungrateful fucks didn’t give a shit about me.

The drink was pushed toward me. I glanced at it and lifted it to my mouth. The sweet liquid hit my tongue. It was delicious. I scrunched my face as I poured it into the trash.

“Tastes like shit,” I lied. Gods, I was on a rampage, and I didn’t want to stop. “Well, it’s been a very welcoming experience; thank you everyone.” I glared as I headed out. Part of me hoped someone would say something so I could keep this rage going. As I pushed the door open, my wish came true.

“Crimson bitch,” he muttered, like he thought I couldn’t hear him. But as soon as I stopped and turned, my face breaking into a wicked smile, the man making drinks realized I had heard. My magic had him wrapped up within a second before he could dart away.

My viper-handled dagger flew from my hand and into his heart, stopping it immediately. My magic released him, and he fell to the floor, dead. I walked back across the room, yanking my dagger out before walking toward the door, but I paused one last time.

“Would anyone else like to say something?”

They all stared in terror.

“I didn’t fucking think so.”

The sun beat heavily on me as I stepped from the cafe. I looked around the town square and saw everyone gawking at me. Disgust painted their faces.

But I was the one who was disgusted because this kingdom was not kind to me. Something about this place was not right. An intense ache formed in my chest for a place I didn’t have, a home.

Everyone on my side of the street crossed it when I started walking. They acted as if they would die if I got too close to them. They didn’t hide their hatred for me here. This wasn’t the Crimson Kingdom, where they at least pretended to be nice and not see what I really was—a hideous monster that could kill everyone if I wanted to. Here, though, everyone showed their hate and disdain openly, showering it upon me with abandon. These fae didn’t care that I had been gone for years. They didn’t care that I had chosen to fight for them.

Unwanted, Cassius’ words of betrayal entered my mind and weighed heavily on me. How could anyone love a monstrosity like you?