20. Chapter 20

"You know most ladies aren't keen on this sort of thing," Cassius smirked at me from the other side of the white circle on the ground. My smile grew bigger.

"If you're scared of me, just come out and say it." He gave me a wonderful laugh in return. My eyes took in all of the happiness on his face, his pretty eyes shining brightly at me. For me.

"You don't scare me, Little Viper."

Giving him a big smile, I lifted my sword. He lifted his sword at the same time before stopping again. His eyes looked over me slowly.

"You want to make this interesting?"

"Sure." The tip of my sword rested in the dirt.

"Every time we earn a point the other takes off a piece of clothing."

I glanced around the wooded area we had snuck off to so Cassius could help train me. My eyes shifted back to him with a skeptical look.

"You scared, my love?" he taunted.

"No." I gave him a fake glare. "You've got a deal."

He gave me a smirk as he lifted his sword again. I followed the movement and we both charged at each other. Cassius was better with a sword than I was, but I gave him a challenge at least. My movements countered his high blow, but he was too quick to shield the next. His blade stopped an inch from my chest.

"Point." He smiled brightly as he watched me lift my shirt up and over my head. Cassius showed no mercy as he charged at me again, but I expected it. Shielding the blow, I grabbed the dagger from my boot and stopped at his throat.

"Point," I whispered before pushing up on my toes to give him a hard kiss. He grabbed his shirt and tossed it away. My eyes immediately lingered over the way his muscles rippled with every movement.

"Are you distracted?" he chuckled.

I glared at him and headed straight for his chest with my sword. He knocked my first blow and second. Our swords tangled in front of us in an X pattern, our faces inches apart. Cassius smiled as he leaned in to give me a teasingly deep kiss.

"If you forfeit, I"ll make it worth your while." His eyes gleamed with amusement, but I scoffed as I broke my sword away. He moved towards me quickly and I didn't have enough time to pull my sword up. His blade stopped an inch from me.

"Point."

I huffed as I slipped off my shoes.

"Shoes?" He groaned disappointed. "I was hoping the bodice was next." his eyes stared at me with a hunger I recognized all too well.

"Are you distracted?" I mocked.

He smiled as he replied, "Yes."

"Good." Wasting no time, I struck but he knew it was coming. This time we spared longer. Each of us fought desperately to be in the lead. I ducked away from him, but his sword followed me and stopped before impaling me.

"Point," he spoke out of breath. Reaching the blade forward he cut my bodice, so it split into two pieces. I stared at him and watched his eyes turn dark. His tattooed chest rose and fell in deep breaths. Cassius tossed his sword down.

"You win." He muttered as he stalked at me. I was tossing down my sword as his mouth descended on mine. His hands discarded my ripped bodice. His hands cupped my face roughly so I couldn't pull away. Not that I wanted to. My hands made work on his trousers as he shoved mine down my thighs. Our kiss was frantic. He shoved his trousers down only enough to free himself before lifting my leg around his waist.

He slammed into me. The sound that fell from my lips echoed in the forest around us. Cassius's throaty groan made my body clench with lust.

"Fuck." He growled as he pulled out of me and walked us backward. My back hit the cold stone wall. Wasting no time lifting me back up, he slid into me.

"Always so wet for me, Little Viper," he said, eyes gleaming in approval. "That's my good fucking girl."

Fuck, fuck, fuck. My fingers dug into his back as his hips hit me perfectly with each thrust. Was it possible to die from great sex? Unintelligible things fell from my lips.

"Please," I begged, but didn't know what for.

His hand moved up my body and to my throat where he gave me a little squeeze. His mouth started to descend onto mine, but he stopped an inch away. His hot breath fanned my face as his hand squeezed my throat perfectly. I tried to move forward to steal a kiss, but he held me back.

"Cassius, please," I whimpered. I was close. I needed to feel his lips on mine. "Please."

"Fuck, I like when you beg," he smiled. He leaned forward and gave me a small teasing kiss. I growled my disapproval and he smiled brighter. "I like those pretty noises you make, Thea. Noises that belong to only me."

I loved it when he spoke to me like this. Like he worshiped everything I did. It only pushed me closer to the edge. His mouth kissed my jaw softly just to tease me some more.

"Cassius," I warned as I closed my eyes tightly.

He hummed against my jaw in response. I ran my fingers up through his hair and yanked him up to my mouth. This time he didn't fight it. His mouth dominated mine, his tongue stroking mine. He was giving me exactly what I needed to fall into my orgasm. My legs tightened around his hips as a moan ripped through me violently.

He pulled his lips from mine, muttering in my ear, "Let me hear what I do to you, my love." My orgasm ricocheted through the forest around us. My hands gripped him tightly as his thrusts increased. Cassius buried his face into my neck, biting down on my flesh as his orgasm followed.

"Fuck," he hissed. His hands squeezed my flesh so tightly I knew I would have bruises. We stayed like that for a long moment before he loosened his grip on me and looked at me. His eyes had gone from black with lust to bright gold.

Giving me a soft lingering kiss, he set me gently on my feet. The smile he gave me was infectious as he lifted my cut bodice from the forest floor.

"So, I just need to get naked to beat you in a fight." I smiled shyly towards him.

He chuckled softly and said, "Gods, I love you," before leaning forward and catching my mouth with his.

My bed was soaked from sweating when my eyes shot open. The ache between my legs made flashes of Cassius and I course through my mind. I had never known if I had been with a man when I was in Exile, but there was no question about it now.

Gods, I love you.

His voice echoed through my mind. Cassius had loved me. I couldn't deny the way my memories portrayed us. We seemed happy. We seemed genuine before. No wonder Cassius was devastated when I said those things to him. He remembered us like that. He had all our memories of us and I'm sure that wasn't always a good thing. Who wants to remember a love like that when the other can't?

I forced myself to get up and shower quickly so I could hopefully get some food. It was difficult to know what time it was because of the dark clouds looming outside. I realized I had forgotten my cloak, but instead of turning around I hurried to get what I thought would be breakfast, but it ended up being lunch.

I had slept longer than usual, which I attributed to the overcast gloom of the storm. The competitors' eyes lingered on me more than yesterday. My colorful swirls still tattooed my skin although they had faded slightly. My cloak had prevented anyone from noticing, but I suppose they would have noticed tonight at dinner. It was better to get the shock out of the way now.

I turned around as soon as I had my plate and locked eyes with Cassius. His eyes were a dim gold and he refused to look away from me. My cheeks flushed hot under his stare, and he must have noticed because he raised his eyebrow as if questioning why I was having this reaction. I broke eye contact and hurried towards my room so I could hide until dinner. Cassius's footsteps following me stopped me dead in my tracks. I turned around, but he had kept his distance from me like he thought I wanted.

"I'm supposed to tell all the contestants that there is a dinner tonight that is mandatory," he said, voice completely void of emotion. That was my fault, and I didn't like it. "You'll need a dress."

"I went to see Ophelia yesterday, and she insisted on making one."

A flicker of something passed over his features. My eyes drifted over his face. Lips that kissed me, spoke pretty words to me, hands that touched me. Swallowing down the overwhelming memory and feelings of us, I looked back at his eyes. I could see that he wanted to say something, but he gave me a curt nod instead before setting off down the corridor. Staring at his back, I hoped he would turn around. When he didn't, I went into my room and sat on the bed.

I ate in the deafening silence. In Exile I didn't have much of a choice for the lack of silence, but I had never enjoyed it. I felt alone here, even more so now that I was getting a glimpse of what Cassius had been to me. Part of me was thankful I couldn't remember all of us while I was in Exile because that seemed like torture. My chest squeezed tightly. If Cassius did love me once, he had been tortured for years remembering me and watching me compete without me remembering. We needed to talk tonight at dinner. I was still cautious of what he had said about using me, but the other memories were making that seem harder and harder to believe.

Time moved unbearably slow as I browsed my book of family crests until I thought it was an appropriate time to go see Ophelia. I grabbed my cloak and slipped it on before heading to her shop. The rain hadn't started again, and I hoped it wouldn't until I was back at the castle.

Ophelia's face lit up at my arrival. "Perfect timing, I just finished! Come, come." She ushered me into the back. I stopped immediately when the dress came into my view. It was still on the mannequin. She expected me to pull that off? I looked at her and immediately got anxious.

The dress was stunning. It was black and would be form-fitting for me, but the skirt of it was a loose fit with a long slit up the right side. It didn't have any straps and the back of it had wonderful silver chain detailing that exposed my back and would hold the dress tightly to me.

"It's stunning," I breathed. "But I'm not sure I can pull it off."

"Oh, nonsense." She brushed away my ridiculous thought with a wave of her hand. She pulled me forward to a pair of silver heels so I could see them. I didn't bother asking how she knew what size I was because I knew what her answer would be. Cassius told her.

"Let's get you ready. I figured you may need some help with your hair and makeup." She gestured towards the small table with different products across it. A sense of relief washed over me as soon as she offered.

"That would be wonderful." I smiled and sat down. She busied herself right away and began undoing my braid.

"I think having your hair up will look quite pretty," she spoke softly as she lifted my hair to give me an idea. My eyes closed as she worked on my tangled curls. Ophelia was gentle like she did this all the time. She had lit candles in her small shop that reminded me of fresh flowers.

After a short time, I opened my eyes and was impressed by the reflection that stared back at me. My normally wild hair was in a fancy updo with little silver accents that would match the shoes and back of the dress. Admiring Ophelia's work, I turned my head from side to side.

"You work miracles." I laughed. "I've never been able to tame my wild curls."

Ophelia's smile was almost motherly as she looked at me in the mirror. She patted my shoulders before coming to sit in front of me.

"Have you done this with me before?" I whispered.

Her eyes looked surprised at my question. She gave me a big smile in return.

"A very long time ago," she admitted. "You said the same thing back then that you just said now." Her eyes zoned out for a moment like she was remembering our earlier exchange.

Ophelia began applying my make-up. She told me how she and her husband had come here from the Kingdom of Cerithia many years ago. Her husband had been sick for a long time and ended up passing away a few years ago. They didn't have any kids but had many family members here to help keep the loneliness away.

Before long she was done with my make-up. I glanced up at the mirror in front of me and hardly recognized myself. Ophelia didn't overdo the amount of makeup, but she knew how to highlight my best features. My eyes were bright and vibrant green against the dark smokiness of the lid. My lips were a dark sultry red that made them look plumper and more feminine. I couldn't believe how soft and scar-free my pale skin looked.

"You'll take their breath away," she said as she met my eyes in the mirror. "You better get your dress and run along for dinner before this rain starts up.

Standing, I felt an overwhelming sense of tenderness for this woman in front of me. Her frail arms hugged me back when I wrapped my arms around her tightly.

"It's been quite some time since I've had one of your wonderful hugs." I noticed the tears gathered in her eyes as she pulled back. "Let me get the dress packed up."

She moved around me and neatly put the dress in a bag with the heels. I gave her one last thanks as I hurried towards the castle. Dinner would be starting soon, and I still had to figure out how to get this thing on. When I locked the door to my room, I turned to the dress sitting in the bag on my bed. I approached it as if it would attack me.

When I pulled it out, I was surprised at how soft the fabric was. It must be some sort of silk. I held it against me and glanced in the mirror. Sighing heavily, I started undressing. What if this looked absolutely horrific? This was meant for a lady, and I was not anything of the sort. Standing nearly naked I stared at the dress trying to determine how I could get in it.

Ophelia had made it so perfectly to hug me that I had to struggle to get it over my ample chest. I struggled so much to slip into it that I felt like I had run up a mountain once it was on. I pulled up the dress and jumped up and down to test if it would flash my breasts to everyone if I moved wrong. I was pleasantly surprised when they stayed put and not only that, but Ophelia also had to have worked some magic because they were tastefully out on display. I turned and admired the chain accent, but I didn't realize how much of my back was exposed.

The green silk dress had been exposing, but this took it to another level. Slipping on silver heels I stood in front of the mirror and took in the whole look. My heart pounded in my chest. Would Cassius like this? Would he tell me how pretty I looked? I moved my right leg forward exposing the slit that ran up to my hip.

I felt pretty.

I grabbed my dagger and tied it to my upper thigh, sucking in one last deep breath to summon my courage, and headed out of my room. I could tell by the eerie silence that the other contestants were likely already there. My nerves were in full force as I thought of how much of me was exposed. When I heard the soft chatter from the king's great room, I took a moment to catch my breath. My heart slammed violently in my chest and my stomach churned in anxious excitement at Cassius's reaction. His was the only reaction I cared about.

The room had been decorated in the same over-the-top zealous details. It still took my breath away even though I had seen it all before.

"Thea, my dear, you look marvelous." the king called from where he stood. No one was seated, they all stood as if waiting for me to arrive. They turned to me and stared with surprise. I gave the king a small smile as I moved towards Cassius so I could sit where I had last time. Cassius hardly spared me a glance. His eyes looked at me before instantly looking away. The excitement I felt for his reaction died slowly in my chest.

It was then replaced by irritation when I saw who he had turned to talk with. The stunning woman from the gardens was glaring at me as she talked to Cassius. I didn't know she was back in Crimson.

"Let's be seated," the king said, gesturing to the seats.

The woman practically shoved me out of the way when I went to sit next to Cassius.

"Cassius wants me to sit next to him." She batted her pretty blue eyes at me. He looked at me and then at the woman before pulling out the chair for her to sit.

I glanced around the table and saw an open seat next to the man who had been in the gardens with them that day. Walking around the table I sat in the seat directly across from Cassius, but I didn't bother looking at him.

"You look absolutely stunning." The man next to me smiled brightly and he seemed friendly. He shared similar features as the woman, and I wondered if they were siblings.

"You look good for a savage," the woman across the table scoffed. My eyes glanced up at her and I could see Cassius staring at me and the man.

"I see they let you out in public without gagging you first."

The king spit his wine back into his glass as he choked, and Haden chuckled from down the table.

"You may address me as Princess Flora." She snipped out her title like I gave a shit who she was.

"I will do no such thing. You are not my Princess."

Her eyes glanced at the man who sat next to me like he was supposed to stop me. He just shrugged his shoulders with a soft chuckle.

"You started it, Flora."

My eyes glanced at Cassius who beheld me with an odd expression. His eyes shifted from me to the man next to me before he pressed his lips into a thin line of disapproval. I rolled my eyes so he could see. He let her take my seat next to him, so he couldn't be irritated by this.

The king's advisor, Lavtan, talked to the table about future events coming up at the castle and how everyone should be so excited. In all honesty, I tuned out most of what he said until Lavtan mentioned finding Cassius a wife and hoping Flora would be top of the list. As soon as he said the words my insides coiled in jealousy. He didn't belong with a woman like that. He wanted a woman who could fight and hold her own. Didn't he?

I felt the eyes shift to me at the announcement, and I refused to stop staring at the wine glass in front of me. I put on my best face of indifference because Cassius hadn't refused the idea. The woman was a stark contrast to me. Maybe she was what he wanted to settle down with. She was a Princess for fuck"s sake.

"Lavtan, you know Cassius's opinions on marriage," the king said disapprovingly.

"I do not think Flora and I would make a good pair." Cassius glared at Lavtan. "I have no desire to marry her."

Flora's scoff had my eyes shifting to her. A smile escaped me at his declaration. "Then why am I here, Cassius?" she ground out.

"I don't know. I did not invite you, Flora." Cassius sighed heavily before his eyes finally looked at me. "My guess is Lavtan invited you, just like he did last time."

Flora was fuming as her pretty eyes glared daggers at her plate of food.

The man next to me had shifted closer to me at some point. His thigh pressed up against mine and I shifted so he wasn't touching me anymore. I grabbed my wine and sipped it but paused when the man's hand rested on my exposed knee. Immediately I shoved his hand off, but he grabbed me again and squeezed so hard I nearly cried out at the pain.

No one noticed what was happening because Lavtan was still talking about Flora and Cassius merging two Kingdoms without caring that Cassius said no. I reached below the table and yanked his hand away pulling his finger back so forcefully he had no choice but to remove his sweaty hand from me. I stood quickly, my chair making a foul noise on the floor that halted the conversations around me. I glanced down at the end of the table and noticed there was an open seat next to Cassius's siblings.

"Thea?" the king questioned.

"I'm going to move to the end of the table," I muttered softly.

"Nonsense. That's where the children are seated," he chuckled.

"Well, I would rather be in the company of children than be seated next to a pig who can't keep his hands to himself." I laced every word with venom as I glared at the man next to me.

"Caleel?" the king questioned. "Are you making Thea uncomfortable by touching her?" I glanced at Cassius, whose eyes now swirled with blackness. His dark tendrils of shadows slowly crept towards us.

"Does it matter?" Caleel scoffed. "Women who dress like that are hoping to catch the attention of a male like me."

"Excuse me?" Cassius stood up and slammed his palm down on the table making everyone jump at the clanking of the dishes. "If you touch her again, I will cut off both of your hands and send them to your parents." Caleel looked at Cassius and then back to me.

"Sorry, Cassius, I didn't realize she was your whore." Caleel smirked as he got up. Within a second Caleel had drawn his sword and had it pointed at Cassius's throat across the table before Cassius could attack. The king stood up with his hands raised.

"Now, now let"s not make any rash decisions," the king pleaded.

Caleel smiled at Cassius like the smug prick he was. I stood there watching as Caleel pushed the sword harder into Cassius's neck causing a droplet of blood to run down from the tip of the blade. Cassius stared at Caleel with his fists tightly at his sides. Flora was frazzled as she watched it unfold. Possessiveness unfurled in me when I saw Cassius bleed. A deep need to protect what was mine overtook me. Using my foot on the chair Caleel had scooted out I slid it so hard into the side of his legs that he lost his balance with the sword.

He caught himself on the table, but I was already moving behind him. Before he could stand up, I grabbed a fist full of his hair as he leaned on the table. I pulled his hair so hard that he was staring at the ceiling. My dagger pressed to his throat. He hadn't dropped his sword and it still pointed towards Cassius. Cassius was watching me closely.

"Drop the sword," I demanded. When he refused, I moved my dagger and slammed his face into the plates shattering them. The room was dead silent besides Caleel's heavy breathing and small whimpers of pain. He dropped the sword as I yanked him up by his hair again. My blade pressed harder into his throat. My eyes shifted around the room to horrified looks. No one dared move or say a word to me.

"If you ever point a weapon at Cassius again, I will fill our dinner bowls with your blood and send only your head back to your Kingdom." I hissed loudly. "Now apologize to him for cutting him."

Cassius stood there watching me without moving a muscle.

"I'm sorry, Cassius." He whimpered like the coward he was.

"Very good." I mocked as my dagger spun in my fingers before stabbing his hand to the table. His pained sobs echoed in the dining hall. "That's for thinking you can touch something that doesn't belong to you."

I grabbed my dagger and yanked it from his hand before wiping his blood on the shoulder of the nice jacket he wore. Stepping forward caused my leg to fall out of the slit of my dress and I put the dagger back into its place. Cassius's eyes stared openly at my exposed leg. Any gold that had been present in his eyes was gone.

"Caleel and Flora, your time visiting is over. You are not welcome back," the king hissed. "I should have your head for daring to hurt my son."

They scuttled away out of the room, and I held my head high as I glanced around. Haden was smiling brightly at me like that was great entertainment. My eyes shifted to Cassius who stood angrily by the table. The dark tendrils of shadows swirled around him. No one said anything. His eyes glanced over me before turning and walking out of the room. I followed him without thinking. He must have heard me because he stopped dead in his tracks but didn't turn towards me.

"Cassius…" My words were cut off.

"Do not follow me," he demanded. "It's you I am trying to escape from."

I hated that I didn't know if his warning was malicious or not. He likely hated me after everything I said to him, and I couldn't blame him. Not after I had seen us in a new light with the memories plaguing me. Maybe I should apologize, but my throat caught any words that might have escaped. He was deathly still like he was listening for me to leave or try to come to him.

"Go enjoy dinner," he spoke softly before he walked down the darkened hallway. But I wasn't hungry. I didn't even want to come to this dinner and the only reason I did come had just walked away from me. He couldn't even stand to be in the same room as me. Gods, I must have looked psychotic to be possessive and jealous during dinner. I turned quickly on my heels and went to my room. I tore the fancy dress from my body. I tossed it and the shoes away from me as if they were the reason I was upset.

I had hurt him. I had said mean and nasty things to him. I had no right to be upset by his dismissal of me. He probably hated me now. Gods, I love you. His voice echoed in my broken and useless mind. I laid down to try and sleep but I was too preoccupied with what memories would plague me tonight. Would it show more happy memories, or would it show me nothing? I stared at the dark ceiling wishing to just fall asleep.

My silent prayer never came true, as the early morning sun peeked over the mountains and filled my small room with light. Great. I was running on no sleep, and I felt shittier and shittier about myself.