16. Chapter 16

Dying was weird. I was suspended in black nothingness, and I felt peace for maybe the first time in my life.

It was nice, until it wasn't.

A small faint light in front of me caught my eye. My body floated toward it slowly. When I got to it, it was a Wisp with blue and purple flames. Reaching out, I touched her, causing orbs of light to explode into millions of pieces.

Brightness filled the darkness I was suspended in. Flashes of fae I didn't recognize and some that I did appear in front of me. A moment later, the images slowed down and I could make out more of the faces. I saw Sybil, Kai, and Kaz, but they weren't in Exile. They were by a stunning gray castle smiling at me.

Then it flashed to Cassius. He walked into a small room dressed in his armor. His face was hard and cold until he turned and locked eyes with me. A bright smile appeared on his face, but then he disappeared.

The crest I saw on the wooden door appeared in front of me in a bright flash of light. Then I watched myself standing there as if looking in a mirror. Only my reflection was wearing a blue guardsman uniform with that mysterious crest on it.

Had I been a guardsman? What was this? Some sort of life flashing before my eyes before everything goes dark and I die? Only these "memories" I didn't recognize. I had never seen Cassius in his armor before. Sybil and the twins all said they didn't know who I was, so why did I have memories of seeing them somewhere not in Exile?

The image shifted to a man and woman standing with two children. I recognized their hair and clothing from my dreams. They were the void-faced fae I had dreamt about.

Only now could I see their faces clearly. The man was tall, a bit heavier set, with graying dark hair and beard. His eyes were bright green like mine. The woman at his side was very short with long blonde hair. Her face was pretty with her dark eyes, but she looked miserable.

The kids looked like them. Both of them were girls, with blonde hair and dark eyes like the woman, but were tall like the man. Their clothing looked expensive, so I guessed they were nobility or royalty. They each wore the mysterious crest on the chest of their clothing. I took a step forward but stopped when I saw another version of myself standing off to the side, watching them with hurt in my eyes.

They all turned away from me and ignored me as they left the room.

My mind flashed to Cassius again. We were both in a field wearing armor. We had our weapons drawn and were both bloodied. As soon as I took off my armor helmet, he dropped his sword and stared at me.

Then all the images were gone, and darkness obscured my sight again.

"Thea?" Turning, I saw Cassius standing in the darkness.

"Cassius?" Confusion coursed through me.

"I'm sorry," he whispered before he pushed me back, so I fell through the darkness.

I sat up and sucked in a deep breath. A room full of eyes shifted to me. I looked around the room expecting it to be mine, but it was much nicer. The room was huge and had two big windows. The bed I was in was three times the size of mine and I had dark green blankets covering me.

"Thea." Cassius rushed over to my side and sat next to me on the bed. He grabbed my hand, but I pulled it away. His brows furrowed at the movement but didn't try to grab it back. The king and a few others I didn"t recognize were watching me.

"How long was I out for?"

The king spoke first. "Four days. We were worried you wouldn't wake up."

When I looked back to Cassius, a sense of familiarity washed over me. Were those my real memories? Did he know me before? Uneasiness filled my chest. Why was everyone lying to me?

"What's wrong?" He frowned at me.

"I'm just confused and tired." I didn't feel sure enough to tell the truth. The more I learned about myself the more deceit I saw from those around me.

"Riven said a lot to you before he stabbed you. What did he say?" Cassius was tense and his eyes filled with worry. He was not telling me something. Everyone around me seemed to know me more than I knew myself.

"I don't remember. Something about my points." Another lie. A noticeable relief washed over him and the king. I wondered if it had been a mistake to come here at all. I should have stayed in Exile and found a way to free everyone from there. Why was everyone so fucking cryptic and misleading? Maybe I was a monster, and they didn't want me to remember that.

"That's all he said?" Cassius asked, eyes wide with skepticism. His shoulders were slumped as if he knew I was deceiving him.

"I'm sure he said more, but I just remember that and trying to think of how to stay alive."

Cassius nodded as his golden eyes scanned over me. He didn't say anything, but he didn't have to.

"I'll be back in a moment," he assured me, but it brought me no comfort. He and the king disappeared out of the room, and then the other men followed. I stood up quickly and went to the door hoping to sneak out, but I paused when I realized they hadn't actually left.

"She's lying to me," Cassius whispered.

"Cassius, she may not remember. What Riven did was traumatic and he truly might have not said anything to her." The king sighed. "She seemed genuine when she said she didn't remember."

"I know her better than anyone and she's lying straight to my face. He either told her something or she's having more memories. It's just like last time."

Last time?

"It's not like last time, Cassius." The king was angry now. "We don't know anything, and it would be stupid to make assumptions. For now, all we can do is trust her and what she tells us."

"I'm not assuming. I know Thea, and she is not being truthful." Cassius didn't sound angry. He sounded sad. "I can't keep doing this year after year."

"You can and you will. You heard what the Gods said. She's done so much better this time around with Sybil's magic. Besides, I know you'll do whatever you must to save her."

My heart pounded in my chest.

Cassius had been lying to me.

The king was lying to me.

Everyone was lying to me.

I couldn't bear to hear anymore, so I went back to bed and curled up under the blanket. When I heard them come back in, I pretended to be asleep. I couldn't look at anyone without more confusion consuming me. Everyone knew who I was but me. If Cassius cared, then why was he keeping things from me?

"Thea?" Cassius whispered. I didn't move and kept my breathing steady. After a long pause, I heard him shuffling around before the bed dipped and he crawled into the bed next to me. He lifted the covers and pulled me close to him. The warmth of his body lulled me to sleep quickly.

I abruptly woke up, startled when Cassius moved next to me. Within a split second, he had me pinned to the bed with his knife at my throat. His eyes were black as night as they bored into mine. His breathing was short and choppy as if he was in a fight.

His hand wrapped around my neck as an angry look took over his face. Was he sleeping? Despite my body urging me, I didn't fight against him. It didn't seem like he knew who I was. My heart thudded rapidly in my chest at how vacant these black eyes were.

"Who the fuck are you?" he hissed as he gripped my throat tightly and his body pinned me below him.

"It's me. Thea," I choked out.

A look of confusion passed over his angry face. He pushed the blade of his knife harder against my neck in warning.

"That's not possible," he hissed. "Who are you?"

"Cassius, please. It's me." I whimpered as silent tears streamed down my face at the fear coursing through me. What was wrong with him? Lifting my hand slowly, I moved the tips of my fingers along the stubble on his jaw. He shook his head back and forth slightly like he was chasing away bad thoughts.

His eyes were completely black still as he stared at me. He set the knife down and grabbed my jaw tightly in his hand. He turned my head to the side before moving my hair out of the way so he could see my elite magic mark. I heard him let out a long breath from his nose. My eyes squeezed shut tightly at the amount of force he was gripping my jaw with. He turned my face towards him, and I watched his eyes move over me slowly as if looking to make sure I was actually there.

"Are we in a dream?" he whispered.

"No."

"You"re really here with me?"

"Yes."

His grip on my jaw lessened, but he didn't let it go as his mouth descended onto mine. Cassius kept me in place, not letting me move at all. His lips dominated mine, almost angry at first. The longer he kissed me the lighter his grip became. His hand moved from my jaw to the side of my neck to pull me more to him. His tongue brushed against my lips, and I welcomed it as a deep groan vibrated from his chest. Cassius broke the kiss only to press kisses down my neck and back up to my elite magic mark.

My whole body hummed at his touch like it had been starved from it forever. My hands moved to his dark hair and pulled it so he would find my lips again. Cassius slid his hand down the side of my body to grab the back of my knee and wrap it around him. I could feel how hard he was as he thrust forward, grinding against me and hitting the perfect spot.

"Cassius." I groaned at the sensation.

"Thea?" He sat up quickly and I was greeted by his golden eyes, which were swimming in confusion. Cassius stood up and turned his back to me. "That shouldn't have happened."

His words smothered any warmth his touch had brought to me only a moment ago. I swallowed hard as he seemed distraught that he had touched me. He stopped his pacing and glared at me with no emotion.

"I should go."

I hesitated at his words. He didn't seem angry, but something like regret flittered across his features.

"I'll go."

Tears welled in my eyes as I grabbed all of myvbelongings that I could see. I quickly ran in the general direction of my room as tears threatened to escape me. How could he be so angry when it felt so right to touch him? Why was he so angry with me when he was the one who kissed me?

I didn't understand why I was so upset by this. He was my enemy. He worked for the man that destroyed my life. Cassius should mean nothing to me.

Not only did he mess with my emotions, but he was keeping secrets from me. I shouldn't care that he wanted to get away from me. It should have never gotten that far to begin with. When I turned the corner to head down the hallway to my room and collided with a hard chest making me fall back onto the floor.

"Are you alright?" Nev frowned at me. His eyes cascaded over my bare legs and the black shirt of Cassius's I was wearing. Disgust contorted his features. Red flames caught my eye as Wisp appeared next to Nev. Wisp quickly put itself between Nev and me, which allowed me to slowly crawl backward from him to escape whatever danger Wisp felt I was in.

"I'm fine," I lied. "Sorry, I was just heading to bed since I'm feeling better."

Nev just stared down at me with disdain. He had never looked at me like this, and I was uncomfortable. My instincts were telling me to get up and run, but this was Nev. He was my friend. Nev reached into his pocket, but I couldn't see what he grabbed. Wisp flashed immediately to black, and I backed myself up against the stone wall.

"I am sorry about this," he sighed before opening his palm and blowing some sort of dust into my face. My eyes stung so badly that they immediately watered up. Abandoning all of my things, I stood to run, but he grabbed my hair and pulled me to the stone floor so hard the wind left my lungs. I gasped for air as I struggled to fight him, but he was easily overpowering me. I couldn't figure out why my one friend in this competition had turned on me.

I opened my mouth to yell, but no noise came out. He grabbed my wrists and wrapped barbed metal around them, the pain so intense that I sobbed as he lifted me up and carried me outside. Thankfully, the night was cold against my skin. Cracking my eyes, I could see the soft red glow of Wisp following us.

"Please," I whispered as I tried to figure out where he was taking me. I tried to summon my fire magic, but I couldn't feel it anywhere.

"Your magic won't work with these cuffs on," he snapped. "I wasn't planning on taking you tonight, but I guess when the opportunity presents itself, you have to take it," he laughed.

"Why?"

"You're going to pass out here in a moment, Thea. We'll have plenty of time to talk when we get home."

I tried to ask him what he meant but blackness clouded over any sort of control I had over my body. My eyes fluttered open and shut as I fought passing out. The last thing I saw was the treetops above us in the night sky before I lost my ability to fight anymore.