17. April

SEVENTEEN

APRIL

The downtown portion of Lilly Valley was packed with people. It was the biggest weekend of the year, and every year was like this. I remembered it from when I was a kid. I always thought it was strange that so many people came here for vacation. When I was younger, the place seemed boring beyond belief. After so long away, and so few visits, it held a new appeal for me. Now I could understand why tourists flocked here. The lake, the mountains, the lush forests. The town did seem like a little paradise. It was gorgeous and quaint.

Chelsea was taking me around the big grassy area that was full of food trucks, ice cream vendors, cotton candy carts, and popcorn wagons. We'd come out to pick up a bunch of different things for us and the guys, so we could each try a little of everything. It was hard to decide, so I chose to follow her around and see what stuck out.

We were standing at a truck that specialized in different types of egg rolls, and Chelsea went to get in line. I stood back to wait for her, when a massive guy walked up to me. Built like an NFL linebacker, the gorgeous man carried a baby boy, and that made him all the more handsome.

Surprisingly, he extended the hand that wasn't holding the baby. "Tate Mills, You're April, right?"

My surprise gave way to understanding. I recognized the name. It was on the business card from Steff's security firm. This was one of his friends and business partners.

I shook his hand. "Yes, nice to meet you. You're Steff's friend?"

He nodded and held up the baby. "Yup, and this is my little buddy. My son, Tory."

I smiled at the baby, and he gave me a toothless grin. I looked at Tate. "Thank you so much for all the work you guys did on my security system. It's been great."

Tate shrugged. "It's my job. No thanks needed."

From out of the crowd, a gorgeous woman appeared and swept an arm around Tate. Yes, I was a supermodel, as much as I hated the term, but this woman was so beautiful she even made me a little self-conscious. She touched the baby's chin, and when the little one stretched his arms out to her, she took him in her arms.

Tate put an arm around her. "This is my wife, Harley."

There was such a connection between the two of them that I almost felt like I was intruding on something private by simply standing there with them. The electricity was palpable. These two were in love, and it was a stronger bond than I'd ever seen in my life.

"We've got two more girls," Tate added. "They're teenagers, though. I think they're running around doing teenage things."

Harley flushed when she spoke to me. "I know this is silly, but both my girls are huge fans of yours."

I laughed and waved it off. "It's not silly. I'd be happy to sign something anytime."

"Okay, I may take you up on that if I need a birthday present for them or something."

Tate gave Harley a wary look. "Just make sure the girls don't post anything about April being here. I'm still in charge of her security."

Harley nodded and gave him a mock salute. "Got it, Captain."

Tory started to fuss and squirm, and Tate took the baby back from Harley. "I'm gonna go make him a bottle and get settled for the fireworks. See you in a bit, babe." He kissed Harley and walked off into the crowd.

Harley touched my arm. "Steff can't stop talking about you. It's nice to finally meet you. I'd love to get together sometime and have a girls' night or something. I could totally use a mommy break. Does that sound weird?"

I laughed. "No, not at all. I'd really like that. Can I get your number?"

We exchanged information, and Harley gave me a brief hug. "Again, it was super nice to meet you. Enjoy the fireworks. Talk to you soon."

Chelsea walked up a few seconds later with her egg rolls and nodded toward Harley as she walked away. "New friends? I've seen that couple around town before, but haven't met them."

"They're Steff's friends. His business partner and his wife. They seem really nice. I think I'm going to try to hang out with her at some point."

Chelsea raised her eyebrows. "Oh, meeting the friends already? Hmmm."

"Oh, quit it. Let's go get the rest of the food."

We took the next fifteen minutes stopping at three other food trucks and got a bunch of different things. Then we made our way toward the guys. Steff was standing with Kellan and another big beefy guy. Kellan was listening to something Steff was saying, and tilted his head back, barking laughter. I had to stop and do a double-take. Seeing Steff and Kellan like that, buddy-buddy, was surreal. Like stepping back in time. When had they fully made up? It didn't look like there was any animosity between the two of them.

Since we'd broken up, all Kellan and Kris talked about was how much they hated Steff. And now Kris was there as well, although he didn't look as comfortable with Steff, but he was still smiling and laughing along. It was strange, but they had said they were ready to bury the hatchet. Kellan told me he was ready to move on. That had sounded like lip service, but it looked like my brothers had been telling the truth. They really were ready to put the past behind them and move on. I smiled, realizing that with every day that went by, I was ready to move on too.

Steff turned and caught sight of me. In an instant, I was overcome with a desire to be near him. It was a pull unlike anything I'd ever experienced before. My feet moved forward, almost of their own accord. He grinned and walked to meet me halfway. He slid a hand around my waist and pulled me close. With his other hand, he grabbed the bag of hamburgers and fries I'd gotten at one of the trucks.

"How are you enjoying everything?" he asked.

"It's great. This disguise is not working for me, though."

There were a ton of people from out of town who'd come for the holiday. I'd decided to try to stay inconspicuous. I'd donned a baseball cap, pulled my hair back into a bun, and put on sunglasses. But Tate had recognized me from across a crowded field.

Steff winced. "Yeah, it's not very good. You look like yourself, but maybe with a hangover or something."

"Well, shit." I yanked the hat and glasses off. Deciding, screw it . "That's better. The hat made me hot."

He handed the bag of food to the guy who had been standing with him and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "No disguise in the world could keep me from recognizing you anyway."

As he finished tucking the hair away, his fingers slid across my cheek and jaw. It was all I could do to keep from shivering under his touch.

"Okay, let's tone down the pheromones, guys," Steff's friend said. I blushed and averted my eyes until I had myself under control. "I'm Miles."

I shook his hand. "The third owner of the business, right?"

"Correct. Somehow, there are three of us who are able to deal with Steff's shit and not kill him. Four, if we count you, I guess." He laughed, and I grinned along with him.

"I'm standing right here." Steff sighed.

We settled down on blankets laid out on the grass and started to eat. Kellan, Kris, and Chelsea were across from us. Miles was sitting in a lawn chair next to our blanket, and Steff was right beside me, so close our bodies were touching. It was hard for me to concentrate on eating with him next to me. He wasn't the boy I'd known back then. He'd… blossomed? Was that what you said about men? Whatever you were supposed to say, he'd grown more attractive over the years. His body was more muscled, his jaw line more pronounced. He was hot as shit, and a beautiful fucking man. Women walked by and eyed him like a steak dinner, even with me sitting beside him. He didn't even notice them, though. I could tell he only had eyes for me.

"I haven't asked yet. How's it feel to be back home?"

I finished chewing my hotdog before answering. "It's really nice. I can really relax here." I pointed at Aiden as he ran around with some other boys. "Getting to know him has been delightful. I've missed so much. I cried the other night when I went to bed and realized I never held him when he was a baby. I was too busy to visit. Those are moments and experiences I can never get back. Being with him and my brothers? It kind of makes me not want to leave it all behind again."

It was the first time I'd verbalized how much I enjoyed the quiet life. "I guess what I'm saying is my life can be chaotic, and I've gotten content with that chaos."

Steff pulled a fry from the bag and ate it. I could tell he was contemplating something by the way his forehead wrinkled. It was the same look he'd had back in high school when he was studying or thinking of what to say during class.

Finally, he looked up and asked, "Why don't you retire?"

I took a second before answering. "I guess I'm not just content with chaos, but I've grown to like it. At least a little bit. The last few weeks are not what I mean. That shit can go away and never come back. But the hustle and bustle, all that? It's been a part of my life for so long that I don't even know how to function without it. It's a love-hate thing. My career lets me travel the world and see so many things and meet different people. I can try on gorgeous outfits. I'm not totally sure I could get used to the stillness of small-town life again."

Steff listened intently. "I completely understand that."

At first, I wanted to tell him that he really didn't, but then I remembered he did. If anyone understood, it was him. His baseball career had elevated him into the stratosphere. For a few short years, he'd been where I was. A star collegiate player, then a major leaguer. Steff had been on a big-time team, had played with a hall-of-famer, and had begun to get some endorsements.

I remember being in Milan for Fashion Week years ago and seeing his face on an Italian sports magazine. I went back to my hotel and cried for an hour. He'd been where I was and had lost it. He did understand.

"It was hard for me to come back home. I hadn't been in that life as long as you, but that was perhaps the most painful part. I'd been right there, just a breath away from really making it. Then it all got ripped away. It was humbling to come back home, especially knowing my uncle wouldn't be here."

I covered my hand with my mouth to stifle my gasp. I'd always like Steff's uncle. The man had raised him since he was a boy. He'd been kind and quiet. All I could remember was that he'd left town not long after Steff had. I hadn't asked about him, and now it was too late.

Steff nodded at my reaction. "Cancer. He'd been going through it off and on for years. Even before I moved in with him. It was a struggle. It got better while I was in college, but right before I was drafted, things took a turn for the worst. He moved back home to be with his family. I thought it would be like the other times, but he'd been hiding how bad it was. Apparently, he didn't want me to worry about him and lose focus.

"I didn't even know he'd passed away until a week afterward. Word finally got to me, and I guess he'd been right all along. I got a call, and they told me he was gone. It was thirty minutes before a game, and I'd still gone out to play." The sadness and pain I saw in his eyes hurt my heart. "That was the same game my leg got mangled. It was the end of my career. You could say it was one of the worst days of my life."

I took his hands in mine, instinctually. "Steff, I'm sorry. That's terrible."

He lifted my hands to his lips and kissed my knuckles. "Thanks, but this isn't about me. We were talking about you. I want you to do what makes you happy. But there has to be balance. You can be happy but stifled. You can be free but miserable. You have to have common ground between both. The glamorous life is fun as hell. I know, I've been there. At the end of the day, though, you have to remember where you're rooted. Where your heart lives."

Those words brought back thoughts of my younger days. I'd known that my heart lived with Steff. I was rooted to him, to this town. For the first time in all these years, I realized that if he hadn't broken up with me, I would have missed out on so much. I'd seen so many things and done amazing stuff that I never would have if he hadn't broken up with me. Crazy as it sounded, I was actually a little grateful for it.

We were looking into each other's eyes, enjoying simply being together when a voice from above us broke through. "Well, isn't this precious?"

Glancing up, I almost flinched in surprise. Ryland stood over us, hands jammed into the pockets of his jeans. What surprised me most was not that he was there, but the look on his face. It was a sickly-sweet mockery of a smile. Like he was trying to cover up an unfathomable rage. It was terrifying. The smile never reached his eyes, which were cold, hard, and drilling into Steff.

Steff's lip curled in disgust or anger, I wasn't sure which. "You need to keep moving. No need to cause a scene."

Ryland smirked, but there was nothing funny about it. It made me more uncomfortable. This wasn't the same sweet man I'd been getting to know. This was someone else entirely. It was almost like the Ryland I had gotten to know had been scooped out, and some angry, bitter thing had been inserted in its place. He exuded negative energy, however crazy that sounded.

Then he turned those baleful eyes on me, and I almost jumped. "Is this why you haven't been answering my calls or texts?"

"Your… what?" I hadn't gotten any messages or calls from him. I had no clue what he was talking about.

"You're making a mistake. This is disgusting. Tying yourself to this thing , this monster." Ryland practically spat the words at me.

The venom in his voice dripped acid, but I couldn't figure out his choice of words. A thing? A monster? What the hell was he saying? Was Ryland insane? Maybe everything before had been an act, and now I was able to see the real man below it all.

"You have to be careful, April, because monsters bite. Once bitten, there's no coming back. You'll be unclean then. Unclean. Your life will be forfeit."

I gaped at him. Had he just threatened my life? He must have. Because before I could even think of how to respond to that, Miles and Kellan both stood, having heard the exchange, each one looking pissed as hell. Steff, vibrating with rage, stood next and pushed his chest right against Ryland's. The three men blocked me from view.

Kellan poked a finger into Ryland's chest. "If you were smart, you'd move on along, and forget about my sister."

Kris, finally seeing what was going on, barked at Ryland from where he sat. "Get out of here. We don't want trouble, but we aren't afraid of it."

I couldn't see Ryland around the three men who were blocking me. Even without seeing his face, I knew he had to be fuming from the way his voice quavered. "You'll regret choosing to lie with some filthy beast, April. Trust me on that. You can hang on him like a parasite all you want, but I don't have any problem taking care of a few fleas."