21. Jesse

JESSE

"So, no one tripped anyone, right?"

My niece shook her head at me. "No. They were all bigger than us, and we still won!" She banged her fist on the table.

I sucked my cheek in to hold back a laugh.

"Bigger doesn't mean better." Emily tapped Maddie's shoulder. "Yes, they can push harder on the field and move you out of the way faster, but some of the best soccer players I knew in school were a lot shorter than me. It's all about the skill."

"And we had the skill."

I cracked up when Maddie did a little dance in her chair.

"Don't get cocky, Mad. What else happened at the game?"

"Nothing really, except I have a question. Are Caden and Sabrina boyfriend and girlfriend?" Maddie asked around a mouthful of chocolate mousse cake.

Emily's narrowed eyes met mine.

"Why do you ask?" Emily asked Maddie but held my gaze.

"Just because they like to touch each other a lot."

"Touch each other?" I snuck Emily a look. "They were touching at the game today?"

"Well, like, they were always giving each other high fives, or sometimes Caden would put his arm around her. Mikayla said that's a very boyfriend-like thing to do." She straightened in her seat.

"And Mikayla knows about boyfriends?" I asked.

"Yeah, she's had a couple."

My head whipped to my niece.

"A coup?—"

"I'm sure she thinks she's had a couple," Emily tried to clarify, draping her hand over mine when she most likely noticed the protruding vein pulsing on my temple. I was not ready for this shit when my niece was only eight years old—or ever.

"She said that if a boy likes you, he likes to touch your shoulder or hold your hand so he can stay really close to you. She said Caden and Sabrina definitely had that vibe."

"Caden and Sabrina have been friends for a long time. They're familiar with each other. That's probably what Mikayla noticed."

I hoped Emily's explanation would satisfy Maddie enough to change the subject.

I had no idea what was going on between Caden and Sabrina and never really did. If they were going to get together or had already and hadn't said anything, I was happy for them. I had my own relationship issues to deal with and really wasn't in a place to think about or judge anyone else's.

"Like you and Uncle Jesse." Maddie nodded and looked between us.

"Like what about me and Emily?"

"You've known each other a long time, so you're familiar. Why you always stay so close to her during games."

The corner of Emily's mouth twitched as she stood and gathered the empty paper containers from dinner.

"I guess you could say that." I peered up at Emily, smiling when she found my gaze. Staying close to Emily was an instinct as natural as breathing. Even at the reunion, when I wasn't sure if she hated me or not, I'd taken the seat right next to her and hadn't veered too far for most of the night.

While she was sleeping at my house tonight, I had to figure out a way to fight that. At least my niece provided enough of a buffer between us, but when she went to sleep, no matter where I stayed in this house, it would be hard to drift off, knowing that Emily was here.

I'd asked her here because I didn't want her to be alone. I wanted her here because I wanted to be with her, however she'd let me. I feared maybe this was all I'd get, that even with all the love I believed we still had between us, it was too complicated to be together.

Even if, from where I was sitting, it was pretty damn simple.

"Can I play some video games before we read?" Maddie asked.

"Sure, just keep the volume down."

She scurried onto the living room floor to turn on one of her game systems. She played the portable ones in her room, but I let her hook the console up to the big screen.

"Thank you for dinner tonight. And for tonight, in general. Maddie is a nice distraction."

"That she is," I agreed, following Emily into the kitchen. "And you don't have to clean up. You're a guest." I took the bag of trash out of her hands.

"You've made a really nice home for her here, now that I've had time to see all of it after Maddie gave me a tour." She leaned against the sink, crossing her arms over her torso and plumping her breasts against the round neckline of the snug T-shirt she wore over even tighter yoga pants.

Emily could have come here in a potato sack, and I'd still find it hard to keep my eyes, and my hands, off her.

"It was a little hard to pretend I haven't been here before."

"It shouldn't have been that difficult. Some rooms are new to you." I stuffed the containers into my recycling bin. "Maybe not my bedroom or anything down here." I motioned behind me toward the living room.

Her cheeks flushed as she shot me a wry grin.

"True." She cleared her throat and tightened her ponytail. "About that, I feel bad for taking your bed. I'm totally fine with staying on the couch or the futon. But even though I'd like to think I'm fairly in shape, I can't do Maddie's beanbag bed." She chuckled. "I'll get my stuff from your bedroom?—"

"No, you'll stay in my bed. I'm not going to have you sleep on the couch or anywhere else. I want you to get some rest."

"And you think being in your bed is going to be relaxing enough for me to sleep?"

I couldn't decipher the expression on her face. I spied dread, maybe a little longing, and from the way she moved back and forth on her feet, nerves.

Maybe I wasn't the only one jumpy over a night together under the same roof.

While that thrilled me a little, I still couldn't push. Emily had to come to me.

I inched closer, tapping her chin with my knuckle.

"I won't be in it to tire you out, so you should sleep fine."

I cupped her neck, goose bumps pebbling under my thumb as I skimmed it back and forth.

Her lips parted as her eyes, dark and full of as much fear as pure want, fixed on mine.

"Too much?"

She laughed and dropped her head against my chest when I lifted a brow.

"Sorry," I murmured into her hair and kissed the top of her head. "I'm here for you, however you want me to be."

She lifted her head, her sweet smile killing me as she grabbed on to my T-shirt.

"And that means a lot to me. Thank you."

"You don't have to thank me, Em. I was hoping a little company and cake would help." I skimmed my hand down her back, noting the twitch of her muscles along the path of my touch.

"It does." Her voice dipped low, a throaty, almost inaudible whisper. She chewed on her bottom lip, searching my gaze. "Jesse?—"

"Could we start reading now?"

I shut my eyes as Maddie shuffled in behind me.

"I think the soccer game made me tired, so if we don't start now, I may get too sleepy to read a whole book, and I don't want to waste Emily being here."

"Sure." Emily let go of my shirt and patted my chest, her eyes still pleading with mine, but I had no idea what she wanted or what she was about to say.

"Emily may be sleepy too, so just start with a couple of chapters tonight, okay?"

"Come on," Maddie said, dragging Emily by her hand toward the stairs and most likely not hearing anything I'd just said.

I'd give Emily anything. All she had to do was say the word.

I had to figure out how to not lose my mind until then.

I gavethem a good twenty minutes before I headed upstairs and lingered by Maddie's door, laughing to myself as the last line of whatever she read was cut off by her loud yawn.

"Okay, kiddo," I said, padding to where she lounged next to Emily on the bed and slipping the book out of her hands. "I think it's time to give up and go to sleep."

"But we only have one more chapter," she groaned, her eyelids already shrinking to tiny slits.

"But I think you'll enjoy it more if you can remember it," Emily said, patting her arm. "Maybe we can finish over breakfast."

Maddie rolled over, peering up at Emily with a deep frown before she hugged her waist. Emily bent to wrap an arm around her, sneaking me a smile over Maddie's head.

I wished I could find Emily's ex-fiancé and punch his lights out for calling her a cold bitch and making her think she wouldn't be a good mother. She'd be amazing, just like she was at everything else.

What would it be like if life was just like this? Emily here to stay, reading with Maddie, eating diner cake with us, and sleeping in my bed next to me.

I was getting entirely too ahead of myself, wishing for things so out of my reach, despite how clearly I could see them all.

Emily sat up gingerly as I pressed a kiss to Maddie's head. She mumbled a defeated goodnight before she buried her face into her pillow and pulled her comforter up over her head.

"Thank you," I mouthed to Emily as we stepped out of Maddie's room and I shut the door. "I thought she'd be too excited to sleep with you here."

"It was a longer book than I thought she'd get through. I know that just-one-more-chapter feeling." Emily glanced back at Maddie's door. "She's a kid after my own heart." Her grin shrank when she met my gaze. "Honestly, I can sleep anywhere?—"

"But you won't. You had a long day too." I eased closer, fighting with all I had not to grab the back of her neck and cover that beautiful mouth with mine. I kissed her cheek instead, running my nose along her jaw before I realized it and stepped back.

"Let me know if you need anything. Sweet dreams, Em."

I shifted toward my spare room, keeping my gaze and my feet straight ahead to avoid any more temptation.

When it came to women, I'd never really planned for any kind of future. I'd tried, coming close with a few, but something always didn't work out. Sometimes it was me. Sometimes it was her. I'd never given it too much thought.

Maybe it was because my future was meant for a girl from my past.