Chapter 13

CHAPTER

THIRTEEN

RUST

"I didn't even like surprises when I was a kid," I tell Marquis as we drive into the gym together. He lives around the corner from my penthouse, an ideal setup since I'm his most successful student by far.

"You'll like this one," he says gleefully, turning the wheel, seeming like some trickster god. "It's a good surprise. Not like an assault."

"Self-defense. The cops didn't even care."

But I cared. It's been two nights since then. Two nights of Maddie Maddox's bullcrap online. I've had time to reflect on what happened: Dad's call, the tears, the emotion. It's all because of my woman. It's because I'm letting myself think of her. Now, I have to be ruthless. I have to eliminate her from my thoughts.

"And a secret affair," Marquis goes on jokingly.

"No," I tell him. "Not a damn affair. I never saw that woman before that night."

"Okay, okay, jeez, I apologize."

"I don't want anything to do with her," I snap.

"I understand, my friend. Anybody would think I have struck a sore point, but I've never seen that lady before."

"It's because I'd rather set myself on fire than be with anybody…" Except Mary .

"What? Female?"

"No. It's not like that."

"Anybody at all, then?"

"Are you driving or talking?" I grunt.

He focuses on the road, tsking. "This fight is only getting bigger. I'm sure you saw what Cruz said."

"Yeah, that I staged the whole thing to play the hero. I don't give a damn."

"Training is more important than ever. Getting you sharp. All I know is what my eyes tell me, my friend, and my eyes tell me you need help."

"You're not taking me to a therapy session, are you? I'll walk out."

"Not therapy in that sense," he says. "No, we're going to the gym."

When Marquis insisted on driving, I suspected it was because he didn't want me to be able to leave easily. He's pulled stunts like this before, like having me hit pads on an open-top trailer on a train. Or run hills at 3 a.m. to condition my mind. Usually, I'm game, but I know nothing will fix this mood I'm in except Mary. Except for Brad saying, Please, claim my eighteen-year-old sister again. No hard feelings .

"There is something I have been wondering," Marquis says, taking the final corner to the gym. I say nothing, and he continues, "I have been your coach for sixteen fights: fifteen wins and one loss. I have never seen you angry in a fight, but you were fighting angrily in that video."

"My technique was good enough," I grunt.

"It was fantastic," Marquis says. "The armbar attempt, the spatial awareness, the fight IQ, all top-notch, but you were angry , Rust. Why?"

"Maybe because I'm a man and not a goddamn robot. What do you want from me?"

"You are normally a robot, though. Let's be honest."

With a sigh, I tell Marquis the only true thing I can. "My dad called just before that. He tried to play the whole I am a changed man thing. He thinks because he's quit drinking and drugs, we should throw a goddamn parade for him. It's pathetic."

"It's natural he'd want to make amends with his son."

"You're on his side?"

"No, Rust, but every father?—"

"If you knew what he'd done to my mother, if you knew the things I'd heard, you wouldn't be saying this. Some men don't deserve redemption. The only good thing they could do for the world is jump off a goddamn bridge."

"More emotion," Marquis mutters annoyingly.

I know what he's doing in his typical head coach way. He's niggling at his fighter's new weakness, trying to figure out what's going on exactly, and wondering how he can fix it.

Finally, we approach the gym. A few cars are parked out front: some I recognize, some I don't. Marquis parks and claps his hands together, looking at me before twirling his mustache theatrically. I think it's the only reason he has it.

"I've asked some strange things of you as a coach," he says. "The train, the runs, the meditation, but you've always given me everything. You've always listened. You have no ego. You're very teachable. You're gifted, Rust. So please, trust me on this."

I wonder what it is—sparring while chickens run loose around the gym or dodging paintballs.

We walk into the gym together, and I hear her before seeing her. She's waiting in the lobby. I hear a woman humming, and I know it's Mary. It's the tone of her voice. It's the way my heart suddenly starts pounding. It's the instant urge I feel to rush forward, find, grab, and kiss her.

Only the humming gives me a shot at hiding my reaction. We walk around the corner and find Brad and Mary standing in the lobby. Mary is wearing a hoodie, making her look modest and beautiful. Her hair is tied up, drawing attention to the flush in her cheeks, no makeup hiding her natural beauty.

Brad steps forward, clapping me on the arm with a big grin on his face. "Don't look too pleased to see us."

I force a smile as he pulls me into a hug. Mary stands just behind him, glaring at me. I don't have to wonder if she's seen the Maddie videos. She looks like she's ready to scream at me.

"What are you guys doing here?" I say, forced friendliness in my voice.

"They are your people, Rust," Marquis says. "When you go to them, you are refreshed, but the magic is lacking this time, eh? So I bring them here, and they help you train. How fun, right? Lots of focus?"

I almost groan. This is exactly the opposite of what's going to help me focus. I meant what I said to Mary. Being in the same room as her makes it difficult even to think or do basic functions. I want to grab her, take her somewhere private, and let her know I will never care about anybody else—only her.

"Yeah, Marquis," I say. "Lots of focus. Want to hold some pads, Brad?"