Chapter 8

Tad knocked the whisky down his throat, feeling the familiar burn. It had to be his third dram at least that night, an unusual thing, so much so that Ilyssa was looking at him suspiciously across the table.

No one else seemed to have noticed. They were all busy laughing at some tale Callum was regaling about the scouts recently having fallen into a river. Catreena seemed especially enchanted by the tale. She was hanging on every word Callum was saying, her almost white hair dazzling in the light of the candles set on the table as she turned to look at him.

Tad’s hand itched to pick up the tankard beside him again when he suddenly found Bran snatched the cup away from him. Silently, his friend passed it to Ilyssa, who thrust it further down the table, beyond his reach.

Tad glowered at the pair of them. Neither of them acknowledged what they had done with words, still giving their full focus to Callum.

I’m fine. I havenae had too much.

Yet Tad was now looking around for another way he could get a drink. It didn’t help that Callum was filling up Catreena’s own cup of mead. When she reached for her tankard, their fingers brushed together. They both moved back an inch from one another, small smiles appearing on their lips.

Tad beckoned his hand at Bran.

“Give me the tankard,” he whispered beneath the cover of conversation.

“Nay chance.” Bran shook his head. “I dinnae ken why ye are drowning yerself in whisky tonight, but it isnae a good thing, Tad.”

He didn’t want to hear it. He waited until Bran looked away, then his gaze slipped back to Catreena.

She was laughing joyously at something that Callum had said to her. It made Tad’s stomach clench tight.

She doesnae smile that way with me.

He stared at her, quite unashamedly, thinking of the way in which they had been so close to one another the night before. The way she had taken over when he had lost control. The power she had had, the comfort, the way he had curled around her as they had slept…

“What’s wrong?” Bran asked, just as fresh laughter spilled from the other side of the table.

“Hmm?” Tad jerked his head toward Bran. “What?”

“What’s wrong? Because ye are staring at Catreena like the weight of the world is on yer shoulders.”

“I’m just thinking about Cillian Grant’s soldiers,” Tad lied, fearing what Bran would make of the truth. “I want ye all tae be safe here, and that night… it pains me tae say it, but she was in danger, Bran.”

“I ken.” Bran sighed. “Catreena isnae always good at recognizing when she is in danger. We’ll guard her here. Me braithers were right, she’ll be safer here.”

“Hmm.” Tad didn’t know what to say to such a thing. It was true, she would be safer from the Grant soldiers here, but whether she was safe from him, now she was in Tad’s castle, he wasn’t so sure. Catreena was featuring in far more wild imaginings of his than she had ever done before.

Catreena and Callum fell about laughing again. She tapped his shoulder, good-naturedly, and Tad’s hand clamped tightly around the knife he clutched, though he had showed little interest in eating at all. It shouldn’t have bothered him that Catreena and Callum were getting along, for Callum was his good friend as well as his advisor, but it did. It bothered him greatly indeed.

Perhaps because she has made it plain that she doesnae like me at all.

Then he remembered the way a breathy moan had escaped her early that morning as he had nuzzled her, holding her tight. In her sleep, at least, she hadn’t seemed to hate him that much.

Callum turned to offer Catreena a top up. As she accepted, her smile broad, Tad lost his patience. He stood from his chair, his plate unfinished.

“Ye all right, Tad?” Bran asked, Ilyssa leaning forward with some concern at his side.

“Ye havenae eaten.” She gestured at his plate.

“Nae hungry. I’ll retire fer the night, after I check on the soldiers.” He parted from the room, doing the best he could not to let his gaze slip toward Catreena as he left.

Stepping out of the hall door, her laughter followed him, that tinkling sound which made his gut tighten, for she didn’t laugh in the same way with him.

Tad went to the barracks first to check who was keeping guard there, then he checked the front of the keep before retreating to the inner curtain wall at the edge of the keep. He clambered high up a spiral stone staircase and stopped between the crenulations, staring out at the night sky.

The moon was bright tonight, nearly full, with stars twinkling around it in the blackness. The cool air bristled his dark hair, making him fold his arms as he leaned upon the wall. He could breathe easily at last, the coldness filling his lungs, though his peace was short lived.

“Tad?” Callum’s voice had followed him. He angled his head around to see Callum stepping out from the spiral staircase onto the top wall with him. “Well, it’s a good place tae stop and think about the world.”

“Aye, it is.” Despite their friendship, Tad was not in a talkative mood. He stared out at the stars and his land again, this land he had to keep safe. Callum silently moved to his side, leaning on the wall beside him.

“Ye seemed out of sorts at dinner. I wanted tae see if everything was well.”

“I’m well enough.” Tad knew Callum was observant enough that he couldn’t get away with a full lie. “Let’s just say that Cillian Grant is in the back of me mind.”

He knew there would be hell to pay at some point from Cillian Grant, for all of them. The man had set his mind on marrying Ilyssa. Her refusal made her his enemy. Bran’s marrying Ilyssa made him Cillian’s enemy as well, but they were not the only ones. Tad’s killing of Cillian Grant’s father was the ultimate reason for his seeking vengeance.

What was it I said that day? That I never would have found them, if it hadnae been fer Catreena.

He couldn’t help wondering if this was something that perhaps Cillian Grant had fixated on, that if Catreena hadn’t been watching, hadn’t told Tad what she had seen, Grant’s plan might have worked, and his Grant’s father might still be alive.

“I wanted tae talk tae ye, about Catreena.” Callum’s words brought Tad back to the moment. He couldn’t summon words now that Catreena had been mentioned, so he just looked at Callum through the moonlight, waiting for him to go on. “Did something happen between ye two on yer way here? An argument, perhaps?”

“We’re always arguing. Nothing new in that.” Tad looked away. He would not tell Callum, or anyone for that matter, that he had kissed Catreena.

“Very well. There is something more I wished tae ask ye.”

“Go on.”

“Dae ye think her braithers would mind if I…” His hesitation made Tad’s head jerk around again. He prayed the darkness masked his glower. “If I wanted tae ken Catreena more? If I asked tae spend time with her?”

“Ye want tae court her?” Tad tried to keep his voice level, despite the fact his hands had gone stiff, the palms clammy.

“Aye, maybe.” Callum shrugged. “I’d at least like tae ken her better first. Dae ye think Bran would object?”

Aye! He bloody well would!

The words almost erupted from Tad, but he held them back despite the temptation. A low growl escaped from him in the attempt to bite his tongue. Callum looked amazed, taking the smallest of steps back.

“Protective of her like a sister, eh?” Callum asked with a small smile, trying to diffuse the suddenly awkward air between them.

“Aye, ye could say that.” Tad forced himself to match that smile.

She isnae mine tae protect. Nae in that way.

Tad knew that neither Bran nor any of her other brothers would mind too much if Callum courted her. He was everything they would surely want in a husband for their sister. He was a good man, with integrity and honor. He was a strong fighter too, able to parry with great skill when needed and called upon in battle. He was also kind, and Tad had never seen Callum mistreat a woman.

And he didn’t have dalliances as Tad did.

Yet the mere thought of Callum and Catreena marrying made Tad’s palms run with sweat so much that he had to rub them together self-consciously.

“I doubt Bran or any of her braithers would object, Callum,” Tad eventually permitted himself to say. “Just be careful. She has a temper stronger than any storm.”

Callum smiled broadly. Clearly, he quite liked the idea of that side of her.

The problem is, so dae I.

“Tad?” Catreena called to him as she walked down the tall staircase of his castle. For three days now she had been here, and he had barely spoken to her. In fact, the only time she had really seen him was when they had dinner together in the feasting hall.

Standing in the open doorway of the keep, he glanced back at her. He didn’t respond. His dark eyes flashed a scowl, then he turned and strode out of the keep, his tattooed arms on show with his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

“What the hell is wrong with him?” Catreena muttered, coming to a stop at the bottom of the stairs. She sighed as guards walked down the hall, inhibiting her path and inadvertently stopping her from chasing after him as they hurried to their posts. Deep down, she knew why he was avoiding her.

It’s that kiss. He regrets it. He’s ashamed of it. Perhaps the mere memory of it is just that disgusting tae him.

She hastily tried to flatten her gown, uncertain why she did it, but feeling more self-conscious than ever.

Once the guards had passed, she moved out of the keep, hastening to hurry after Tad and talk to him at last.

This is ridiculous. We cannae carry on like this.

A determination rose inside of her to speak to him. It was all very well for him to want to ignore her, but she could not forget that kiss. Neither could she forget the way they had fallen asleep beside each other. It was as if that night, Tad had been a different man. She wanted to know that Tad. Wanted to speak to him again, talk to him of what he had seen in those nightmares, to feel his lips so softly against hers another time.

She trailed after him, across the courtyard and toward the lawn where she suddenly saw him retrieve a sword from his belt. She flinched in surprise, watching as he strode across the grass to where his soldiers were practicing their maneuvers.

Bran was with them, as was Callum. Bran broke off with his practice battle with Callum, turning to face Tad.

“Ready?” he called to Tad. “Think ye can beat me this time?”

“Ye ken I beat ye every time.” Tad laughed low, in a warning tone, then took a wide stance, waiting for Bran to lunge toward him.

The first clatter of swords made Catreena jump. There was something about seeing Tad so ready for battle, the muscles taut across his arms, the tattoos even more noticeable than before, that made her mouth dry.

“Catreena?” Ilyssa called to her.

“S-sorry?” She turned around, startled to see she was not alone.

On a low wall nearby, Ilyssa sat with her maid, Annabel, perched beside her. The two were sharing a picnic as they watched the soldiers’ practice.

“Nae a bad view, is it?” Ilyssa said with mischief glinting in her eye. Annabel laughed heartily as Catreena moved toward them, sitting beside them.

“Nae a bad view,” Catreena agreed, though she somewhat struggled to tear her gaze from Tad. She didn’t look where she was going and half fell down beside Ilyssa, rather than sitting down. “Yer braither is avoiding me,” she muttered. “He willnae talk tae me.”

“Probably wise when he’s in a foul mood. He seems tae be in a bad temper with everyone at the moment. Ye’re better spending time talking tae another instead. Speaking of which, he’s coming this way.”

“Who?” Catreena looked around, though Ilyssa merely waved at her, encouraging Annabel to shuffle along the wall so they could give Catreena some privacy.

Callum was walking toward her. Surprised, Catreena sat taller, just as Callum sat down beside her on the wall. He had a gleam of sweat to his skin from his own practice. For some reason, it wasn’t as attractive on him as it had been on Tad. It was a little off putting, though she smiled all the same at him. He had been very kind indeed over the last few days that she had been in the castle.

“I am glad tae see ye here, Catreena. There was something I wanted tae ask ye and I wasnae sure when I would get the chance.”

“What would ye like tae ask me?” she said, turning to give him her full focus. Her own eyes seemed to betray her though, and they kept slipping back to look at Tad and Bran fighting together.

It’s just because I dinnae want Bran tae get hurt.

It’s what she told herself, though her eyes watched Tad more than they watched Bran.

“I wondered if ye would like tae go riding with me some time.” Callum’s words made her snap her attention back toward him. She cricked her neck from the sheer strength of the movement.

“Why?” she murmured in surprise.

“Why?” he repeated and laughed. “Because I’d like the chance tae ken ye better, Lady Catreena, without yer braither watching over us like an eagle, I might add.” She smiled a little at the protective image of Bran that she found a very apt description. “I asked Bran if he would mind, and he has given his blessing, but it is up tae ye, of course. If ye would like tae ken me better too.”

Callum smiled sweetly at her, a touch of nervousness in his tone.

Something warm spread in Catreena’s chest, flattered at him asking her, but then she heard the clatter of swords again.

Tad was really going for it in their parrying now, so much so that Bran was holding up his hands in surrender.

“Woah, woah, Tad! Ye trying tae kill me?” Bran asked with a laugh. Tad did not seem to find it as amusing.

Catreena’s eyes traced Tad up and down. She caught his gaze. He looked at her, briefly, then he turned away. It was as if she was nothing but mud beneath his shoes.

Shame swirled in her gut, regretting that kiss and the way she had cared for him after his nightmare.

He thinks less of me than he daes any other woman, daes he nae?

With this in mind, she faced Callum again.

“I’d be delighted tae go, Callum.” She knew it was time she had fun, like any other woman, without persistently thinking of Tad, who was most determined to ignore her.