Chapter 9

“Come on, Catreena, ye have been keeping yer lips closed about this matter for the last week,” Ilyssa exclaimed with a yawn.

Catreena still chose not to answer her friend. She closed up the healing book she had been reading in her lap and looked out of the window of the library, craning her neck back and forth as she had done every day for the last week in search of Tad. Sometimes she caught a brief sight of him, other times, she did not see him at all. He even seemed to be avoiding their evening dinners now, not spending time with any of them.

It”s all tae avoid me, isnae it?

“Catreena!” Ilyssa threw a cushion at Catreena’s head.

“Ow,” Catreena mumbled as Ilyssa’s maid, Annabel, giggled beside Ilyssa. “What was that fer?”

“Fer ignoring me. It isnae nice, ye ken.”

“I ken the feeling,” Catreena muttered to herself.

“Ye have seen Callum three times this last week and ye havenae spoken of it. How was yer lunch yesterday?” Ilyssa asked with clear eagerness.

“It was… fine.” Catreena could give it no higher praise than that. Callum was a nice man, but that was all she felt around him. He was all so nice. When he leaned toward her, her heart didn’t tremble with excitement. The mere thought that Callum might want to kiss her one of these days filled her with dread rather than a thrill.

“Catreena.” Ilyssa sighed. “Is that all ye’re going tae tell me?”

“I’m afraid so.” Catreena laid down the healing book beside her. “I’m going tae find another book. I’ll be back soon.”

Annabel and Ilyssa exchanged a glance with one another as she hastened toward the doorway. Catreena was tempted to bark that she could see the way they looked at each other, just as she had heard the suspicious whispers about her and Callum this last week, but what good would it do?

I need tae see another.

Rather than going to her own room in search of the book, she went to Tad’s study instead. She pressed her ear to the door, closing her eyes and holding her breath as she prayed for some sign of him. When she heard nothing, she opened the door to find it completely empty.

“Damn ye,” she muttered. “Where have ye been hiding all week?”

Turning her back on the study, she decided to search the one room this week she had not searched. It was the one chamber that was out of bounds to her, completely. If anyone knew she had been to search this room, especially Bran, there would be hell to pay for it.

I have nay choice. I am tired of him hiding!

She hastened toward Tad’s bedchamber. Nearly running into two of the guards who patrolled the upper corridors of the castle on route, she managed to hide herself in the darkened alcove of a nearby doorway and wait until they had passed. With the coast clear, she slipped down the corridor, hurrying toward his bedchamber door.

She raised her hand, ready to knock, when she heard the guards coming back. Whipping her head around, she saw their shadows growing taller across the floor. They would see her any second.

Without another thought, she grabbed the door handle and turned, striding straight into Tad’s chamber and kicking the door shut behind her.

“Cat?” Tad’s voice was startled.

“Shh!” She begged, spinning on her heel when she heard his voice. Yet when her eyes found his, she took a step back in alarm, and she was not the only one. He also stepped back.

A copper bath stood by the fire, the steam still rising from the water. His hair was damp, his bare shoulders and chest still glistening wet. On his lower half, he wore only his trews, his feet bare too. In one hand he had a towel, and in his other hand, he clutched a shirt.

“What the hell are ye doing –!”

“Shh!” she ordered him again, racing around the bathtub and moving toward him. “Dae ye want the guards out there tae hear I am in here?” To her amazement, as she ran forward, he ran back, increasing the distance between them.

Her eyes shot briefly down to his chest before she managed to drag her gaze back up again to meet his eyes. She could not believe the sight before her. Every imagining she’d ever had of Tad without his shirt on paled into the comparison with reality. His chest was firm and muscled, especially the stomach. A thick line of dark hair curled down the center of his chest in the most tantalizing and animalistic way. Above his trews there was a v shape, accented by the way they were not fastened properly on her hips.

He must have caught her looking, for his eyebrows raised startlingly high. Her mouth also turned so dry, she struggled to swallow in order to speak.

“Get out, Cat,” he said, dropping the towel and thrusting the shirt over his head. With the view of his chest mostly obscured, apart from the open neckline, she managed to make her tongue move again.

“Why are ye daeing this?” she hissed.

“What?”

“Avoiding me,” she said hastily. “All week, ye have been avoiding me, Tad. Fer the wee man’s sake, ye cannae even look me in the eye.”

“What? That’s nae true.” Yet he was walking away from her again, moving toward a different towel that he now picked up and used to tousle his hair.

“Ye’re doing it now!” She followed behind him, waving a hand wildly in his direction, for he had turned his back on her. “Am I really so abhorrent tae ye that ye cannae look at me?”

“What?” He turned to face her. Clearly alarmed at finding her so close, he took off around the nearest table, trying to increase the distance between them again. Furious at that distance, she followed him. “Ye and I never spent much time together before. Ye notice now?”

“That’s nae true,” she said argumentatively. “We spent plenty of time together, even if it was because ye just wanted the company of me braithers.” Something snapped inside of her. She marched toward him and stole the towel out of his grasp. The action made him look at her at last. “If ye’re so disgusted by me, ye should have thought of that before ye kissed me.” She threw the words at him, as though they were some weapon. “Clearly ye think I am a young child, nae worthy of yer notice, yer apology, even yer gaze or yer respect. That’s the truth, is it nae? That’s why ye’re avoiding me!”

He didn’t answer. He’d gone slack jawed, staring at her.

“I’m probably nae even the slightest bit pretty in yer eyes, am I?” Catreena said as bad memories came to mind. She remembered every time she had ever seen Tad with another woman. They were always dark beauties. They had rich brown eyes and chocolate or ochre hair. She was the complete opposite to everything he found attractive. She was pale, too blonde, and missing those dark seductive eyes that so many women had. “That’s it, isnae it?” She huffed.

He still said nothing.

A strange prickling started at the back of her eyes. It was the realization of a fear she had stuffed down deep for so long, not wanting to confront it. Whatever she felt for Tad, as hard as it was to put into words, it would never be realized. His kiss was a mistake, one he would never repeat.

“Ye’re disgusted by me,” she repeated, her voice quiet now. The worst thing of all? Disgusted was the last thing she felt for Tad. “I’ll just… go.” She dropped the towel on the table beside them and walked away.

Yet her footsteps were not the only ones. His were louder, echoing around them. His hand caught her arm and before Catreena knew what was happening, she was nearly lost her balance as she was flung around to face Tad.

“Disgusted!? That’s what ye think?” he raged, his face so close to hers that she stumbled back. He went with her. “Ye think that’s what is going on here?” They ended up in a reverse of their cat and mouse game, with Catreena backing up in circles around the table, and Tad following her. “God, ye have nay idea how wrong ye are.”

“What dae ye mean?”

“What dae I mean? God, Cat, how blind can ye be!?”

“Hey!” she snapped, moving her hands to her hips, but the momentary hesitation meant he caught her up. His hand suddenly snaked up behind her neck. Stunned, she fell still, amazed at the tingles which had shot through her like a sudden flame.

“I think ye’re perfect,” he said in the most heated way, his cheeks colored red from sudden fury. The fix of his gaze shot between each of her eyes, his head bending more and more toward her. The mix of rage and something else almost indefinable made her fall silent. His hand slid to cupping her cheek. “Ye’re beautiful. Damn, ye’re elegant, with an effortlessness that is infuriating and as intoxicating as whisky.” His hand slid further, now taking her chin and lifting it an inch higher, so she had to look into his eyes, her stomach jolting. “I ken ye’re nay a child anymore. That’s the problem.”

She tried to frame her lips to ask, why, but this thumb was now running along her bottom lip. That firm touch rendered her speechless.

“I am disgusted at meself fer being so attracted tae ye, Cat.” He bent toward her. He hissed the words, practically burying his face in her neck. She arched her neck up toward him, just wishing he would kiss her with those lips. “I should nae have stolen yer first kiss when I had nay right tae it. Ye’re ten years younger than me. Ye deserve a younger man, a better man, and yet…” He paused, his lips tracing that line down the curve of her neck and to her collarbone.

A breathy gasp escaped her lips as her eyes fluttered closed.

“I cannae stop thinking about ye,” he whispered against her skin. It wasn’t quite a kiss, but possessive, almost like a bite. It made her fingers tremble. They were itching to reach up and grab hold of his loose shirt. “I am staying away because every time I see ye, all I want tae dae is bring ye here. Tae this chamber.”

“Wh-what?” she managed to stammer out.

His hand now snaked down to her waist. He cupped the curve of her hip and brought her up against him. Her hands flung to his chest, gripping onto the shirt. She could feel the rigidity of his hips against hers, and then something which was unmistakably hard between his legs.

“I want tae kill Callum every time he sets eyes on ye,” he hissed, moving his face to look her in the eye. “I want ye here in this room with me. I want tae lift those skirts of yers, explore every part of ye that has never been touched by a man before.” He walked forward with her, and she backed up. They ended up against the wall, her body squashed between him and the hard stone, but she had no desire to move away. “I want tae hear ye scream, Cat, scream me name in pleasure. I want tae feel ye release around me fingers, or me tongue, or…” He moved his hips against hers and she gasped again.

Then suddenly, he froze. All the heat turned to ice as he plastered his hands to the wall on either side of her, leaving her a trembling mess with her fingers locked in his shirt.

“That is why I am staying away. Because I shouldnae be thinking any of it.”

Catreena had no words. All she knew was that she didn’t want this to end, and that she wished to feel everything he had just spoken of.

“Tad,” she whispered, then she pulled on his shirt. Her lips brushed his in the softest of ways. The kiss was gentle, a mere tease, then abruptly, his lips collided with her own in a much fiercer way.