Chapter 7

Tad could feel his hardness pressed against another. It was stirring him from sleep, as much as the strong sunlight on his face. He pressed his face nearer, into someone’s flower-scented hair. He felt her writhe, heard the softness of breath.

A lass…

He didn’t know who he was with in his sleepy state. He knew only that a woman was there. He moved her hair aside, nuzzling deeper. That scent became even stronger as his lips met her neck.

He heard an intake of breath. The softest, most delicate flutters of breath. He felt her rear, pressed himself closer, his hardness pushing toward her beneath the covers of the bed, then…

It’s Catreena.

The full force of the realization hit him as if a pale of water had been chucked over his head.

He sat bolt upright in bed, his eyes wide open as he stared down at her. She was still fast asleep, that pleasant fluttering breathing a result of her dreams.

That kiss!

He remembered in an instant the way he had kissed her the night before, after his nightmare. He remembered the shame of it, the guilt, and the thrill.

“Damnation,” he muttered and threw himself as hurriedly and as quietly as he could from the bed. He backed away, going so fast that he collided with the wall.

Looking down, he saw that his length was hardened against his trews, making a tent out of the material.

A wild thought shot across his mind of moving over Catreena, of waking her with kisses, of slipping beneath those covers and showing her everything that she might have had the curiosity to know about what being with someone could be like.

It’s Catreena!

He turned firmly away and found the basin of water from the night before. At this time in the morning, the water was cool, allowing him to wash his face with a cold splash. He could only pray it cooled his ardor as he glanced back at Catreena on the bed.

He had done something he had never done before with a woman. He had merely slept beside her. This was new. What worried him the most was that he had liked it so much. He had liked the warmth of having her there, companionable, intimate, trusting… all things that he never usually felt with a woman beside him in bed at all.

“This has tae stop,” he muttered darkly, looking down at his length again. He closed his eyes and willed himself to think of anything but Catreena. In the end, thinking about how he had let her brothers down was the fastest way to cool his heated thoughts. Only when his trews were back to their normal state did he turn to face the bed again.

Thank God she didnae wake when I started nuzzling her. I’m a sick man!

Her reactions had not helped. He couldn’t help wondering who she had thought was trailing her neck with kisses in her dream state. Had she thought of him? Or another man?

Who!?

The anger made his blood boil.

“Cat?” he called to her, moving around the room fast and packing as quickly as he could. He knew the sooner they were out of that room and far from the memory of their intimate conversations from the night before, the better. “Little Catreena?” he called, rounding the bed and shaking it a little beside her, just enough to wake her.

“Dinnae call me that,” she said sleepily. “I told ye.”

“Ye’ll always be little Catreena tae me.”

“I ken.” Her eyes slid open to arrow slits. “That’s what angers me so much.”

He felt a fierceness in his chest toward her, not of anger, but of passion instead. He sighed deeply, his thoughts a whir.

She was too young for him. Always had been, always would be. That’s what he had told himself for a long time now. Yet, Catreena was ten only years younger than him.

That’s nae so great a difference, is it?

His eyes slid down to her lips once again. He wasn’t even sure if she noticed, though she sat up in the bed.

“We need tae get going,” he said, turning to business again, his tone plain and matter of fact. “We dinnae want Cillian Grant’s scouts tae have a chance tae find out we’re here. We’ll get tae the MacBean castle this morning. Ye’ll be safe there.”

“Aye, aye, I ken. Ye seem tae think it more impenetrable than our own castle.” She swung her feet off the bed.

“And one more thing.” He halted by the door, glancing back toward her. “Yer braithers dinnae find out we slept side by side, aye?”

“Agreed.” She nodded heartily. “Somehow, I think going and singing joyfully about it tae Bran today wouldnae go down well, dae ye?”

He hurried out of the door as fast as he possibly could. All the Mackintoshes he considered like family, but he was particularly close to Bran, and they were now brothers-in-law. He could quite easily imagine Bran’s friendship turning to hatred, however.

“He’d gut me fer this,” Tad muttered as he waited in the corridor for Catreena to be ready.

Catreena felt a calm settling over her as the MacBean astle came into view. On a rocky outcrop overlooking the ocean, it was perched high, quite above any other landmass or building around it. At the foot of the hills and nestled near the beach was the local town, busy as it always was with people, but even more so on a sunny May day like today. The stony path leading to the curtain walls of the castle was flanked with luscious green grass and bushes, leading all the way to the white-stone courtyard that fluttered with emblems and flags, reflecting the MacBean clan and its friendship with the Mackintoshes.

Catreena looked around as they entered the courtyard. As much as she wouldn’t admit it to anyone, it did feel safer there. Because of its position, it could be more easily defended in the heat of battle. But there was something more to it. She had known this castle for so long, visited it so many times, it was rather like a second home.

Tad halted his horse alongside hers as Catreena slowly descended, brushing a hand down the mare’s nose, who snorted softly at her touch. She thought Tad watched what she was doing rather intently, then put it down to her imagination.

“Are ye all right?” Tad asked, jumping down from his own horse and coming to stand beside her. He cast a glance to the other soldiers and guards, but as they had moved off to deal with the other things, it left them quite alone to talk in whispers. “Ye have barely said a word tae me all morning.”

That is because ye seem tae be avoiding riding beside me.

She clamped her lips tight, not wanting this petty thought to enter her head.

“I was surprised, that’s all,” she whispered, her thoughts going back to what had upset her when she woke that morning.

“By what?”

“I didnae see ye get out of the bed this morning,” she said simply, watching as his brow furrowed a little.

“Is that never talking about it again?” he asked huskily.

“I imagine ye leapt from the bed, didnae ye?” She laughed, trying her best to make it seem as if she had not minded, and really found it quite amusing. “Were ye so shocked at the idea of sleeping beside me?”

His lips fell open and she turned her back on him. She couldn’t possibly describe her true feelings, that she had felt isolated, alone, like he was repelled by her. She rather suspected he had run from the bed when he realized how close they had become beneath those covers after the nightmare. He had been a different man in the night – quiet, vulnerable, even hurt. It was someone she wished to care for, someone she wished to protect.

The man I saw last night, I willnae be seeing again.

The doors to the keep flew open.

Ilyssa was the first to burst through, running down the steps as quickly as she could with Bran running after her. Ilyssa’s dark hair was fighting to get out of its updo, flying behind her in the wind. Bran chuckled, his dark blond hair a contrast to his wife’s.

“Ilyssa, would ye calm down?” he called. “They’ll still be there when ye reach them. They willnae have vanished.”

Ilyssa flung herself at Catreena first. Catreena embraced her friend tightly, the two of them tottering together from the sheer force of Ilyssa’s movement.

“Oh, I am so glad tae see ye,” Ilyssa exclaimed. “I had nay idea ye were coming back with me braither.”

“Neither did I,” Catreena murmured, stepping back from her friend. “Speaking of which, yer enthusiasm at seeing me might have given me a cracked rib.” She pretended to rub her chest in pain, prompting Ilyssa to giggle.

Ilyssa next embraced her brother as Bran came to hold Catreena.

“What’s happened?” he added in his usual paternal tone, while he kissed her forehead.

“I’m nae dead yet, Bran,” she reminded him. “Nay need tae sound so concerned.”

“Yet!?” Bran and Ilyssa said together.

“Perhaps I should explain why she is here,” Tad began.

“Pray, dae,” Bran said hurriedly, looking at Tad, who promptly went into an explanation of Cillian Grant’s soldiers and the attack on Catreena. When the story was done, Catreena felt Bran’s protective hand on her shoulder, and even Ilyssa had taken her hand.

“Well, I can hardly blame ye fer running out intae the forest. It sounds like something I would have done,” Ilyssa said with a wink.

“Dinnae encourage her,” Tad warned. “Catreena, ye arenae tae dae that here.”

“I already have one braither acting like a faither.” Catreena waved a hand at Bran. “Dinnae ye start.”

As Ilyssa and Bran laughed, it caught Catreena’s attention that Tad did not even smile. Instead, he looked at her, a glimmer of something in his eyes that reminded her of what had happened the night before.

He kissed me. Why did he dae that? Is it possible that he doesnae remember?

All morning, she had been trying her best not to think about that moment, but it returned to her now as if it had just freshly happened. She felt the coiling excitement swirling in her stomach and heard the pounding of her heartbeat in her ears.

It was her first kiss and had begun much more gently than she ever could have expected Tad would be capable of. She had liked it, far more than she knew she should have done.

Yet it is still wrong tae long fer that touch again.

“Well, I expect ye have had quite enough of me braither’s company fer one day, how about I show ye tae yer room, Catreena?” Ilyssa asked, linking their arms together.

“A sensible suggestion at last,” Catreena said with a smile. She happily went with Ilyssa into the castle, though she glanced back over her shoulder just once.

Tad was watching her, his arms folded, the tattoos on his forearms much more noticeable than before. She remembered the way the maid had trailed her fingers across that skin and had a fantasy of what it would be like to do the same, then the door of the keep closed, and Tad was shut out from her view.

“Well? What dae ye two think?” Tad poured out the tea between him, Bran, and his most trusted advisor from the MacBean council, Callum.

“It isnae good, is it?” Bran said rubbing his hands together uncertainly. They were sitting around the long table where he usually sat with his council during meetings. The three of them at such a large and empty table felt strange, somehow more intimidating than usual, but Tad rather liked talking in this room. He found in his darkest of moments, it focused his mind on his responsibilities to this clan. “If Cillian is getting so easily intae the Macintosh clan, then we are all at risk. Ye and me braithers were wise tae bring Catreena here.”

“Try telling her that,” Tad said with humor, to which both men laughed.

Callum took his own cup, deep in thought. For a man with much war experience, he had a very diplomatic mind, calm, even when others were panicked and could scarcely think of politics. As he turned his head back and forth, his short black hair barely moved with him. The blue eyes were like dark oceans. Tad had seen those eyes able to make a man quake in a diplomatic discussion all too easily.

“Something must be done,” he said calmly, staring into his cup. “If scouts arenae doing their job at finding Cillian Grant’s men, then ye need men with lighter feet. Ye need tae send out spies.”

“Spies?” Tad hadn’t thought about that. He shifted in his seat, taking a bitter taste of the tea as he considered the idea.

“Aye, it could be a good idea.” Bran nodded deep in thought. “They could hear things that scouts wouldnae hear. They could blend in.”

“Aye, it is a thought.” Tad had to agree. He was scratching his chin, considering the idea and which men he knew would be ready for such a scheme when Bran looked at him.

“How was the journey? I imagine Catreena gave ye short shrift when she kenned ye had tae stay a night on the journey.”

“Ye could say that.” When Tad said nothing more, both Bran and Callum exchanged a look.

“Nothing more?” Callum said with a look of surprise.

“What dae ye mean?” Tad asked.

“He means that ye and Catreena usually argue so much, that we expected ye tae go on fer minutes at a time about how awful yer journey was. Nay? Nothing? Nay complaint tae make?”

“It was as ye would expect.” Tad purposefully shrugged. “Nothing more.” The memory of the kiss flashed across his mind, as did the moment he had pressed into her neck, nuzzling close to her as if he was a pup, desperate for attention.

What kind of friend have I become?

He looked at Bran and the guilt raged.

Bran and Callum exchanged a baffled look between them again.