Chapter 17

17

ELLE

T he pain soared through her limbs, carrying her mind somewhere far and bright, unreal from the intensity of the sensations. She felt like crying, but no tears came to her eyes. She was only able to whisper "Fuck, fuck, fuck," but her physiotherapist was used to her vulgarities by that point. Elle appreciated her steel-like nerves and no-bullshit approach, hiding behind friendly and helpful interactions.

"You're doing great, Elle." Michelle held her calves in her hands. "Just a little bit more. You've got it! There you go!"

"You're a fucking sadist, Michelle. You're a sadist," Elle said through her clenched teeth as she tried as hard as she could to move the other leg. Her body felt stiff and unused to movement from weeks of lying in the hospital bed.

"Maybe, but at least I'm getting you results," Michelle said good-naturedly. "Okay, let's take a break."

For the past few weeks, Elle had been giving her best at the physiotherapy sessions. When the doctors let her know that there was a glimpse of hope that she could walk again, Elle put every bit of strength toward achieving that goal. Her sessions were exhausting and long, but the work was paying off. She could walk a few steps, even though her brain was screaming at her not to, even though her legs felt on fire. Michelle was Maya's colleague and practically the best physiotherapist in the city. She often pushed Elle to her utmost limits, but she always knew when to stop. Their relationship grew strong with time, and Elle was increasingly able to trust Michelle's judgment.

"Should we call it a day, then?" Elle said, feeling like a sweaty, panting mess.

"I think so. How are you feeling?" Michelle patted Elle's back, gathering up her things.

Elle got into her wheelchair, wiping her face. "Sweaty."

"That's good! It's like working out. The more effort you put in, the more you'll get out of it. You're making real progress, Elle."

"All thanks to you," she said simply.

Chatting, they went out of the clinic. Elle was still getting used to being in a wheelchair. The world around her looked very different from its perspective, and going through the streets in a sitting position still often caught her off guard. She couldn't drive, which grieved her tremendously, and had to order Ubers that would be accessible to her, which often meant waiting longer than usual. Because of all the obstacles, she didn't like going out alone. Sometimes a bunch of her friends would come visit and go out with her. She had to be careful not to drink and choose venues that would be wheelchair accessible. The inability to walk opened her eyes to many issues she wouldn't have thought of otherwise. At first, her house hadn't been wheelchair accessible, so she and Maya had to install a ramp. She tried going upstairs on her own many times, but she'd get tired midway.

She felt strange about her legs being fully able to walk, only her brain not knowing how to use them. It was as if she'd gone back to being a baby again, unable to climb the stairs and having to rely on the help of others.

On the other hand, this experience had made her ask for help so many times that she'd finally had to learn to accept it. She'd grown more comfortable with asking for help, even if she still disliked it tremendously and would rather suffer. Everything came to her little by little. Accepting help and being able to walk again, she knew she'd manage both. Especially having Maya by her side. Their relationship had flourished despite the workload Maya was under, and Elle appreciated every single moment they got to spend together, no matter how brief or sparse.

She got out of the van, thanked the driver, and rode up to her house. Strangely, ever since she'd come back from the hospital in a wheelchair, Mrs. Dumas had kept quiet around her. No bickering or unpleasantries, not a single thing muttered under her breath. Maybe she thought that at the end of the day firefighters did deserve the pay that they got.

If I were her I'd feel silly too, Elle thought.

Mrs. Dumas's kids also appeared more polite, and the entire situation made Elle laugh a little whenever she would see them getting back from work, mowing their lawn, or whatever other family activity they partook in while making sure the entire neighborhood saw them. Sometimes she felt sorry for Mrs. Dumas. Her husband was almost never to be found doing the work around the kids. It was always she alone.

Elle's house stood as empty as always. She was getting sick of the solitude of it, the space that wasn't shared with anyone. It felt wrong to have the entire house to herself. Unnecessarily grandiose. She thought of selling it, of suggesting Maya to move in together into something they'd build. To have a home, like a real adult couple. She couldn't wait to see Maya again and discuss it with her, do something about all this emptiness. She was supposed to visit in the evening, but the day stretched like warm caramel, early afternoon golden with mature sunrays.

Elle's phone rang.

"Yes, Captain Ramirez?" she said in an all too happy tone. She lived for these phone calls, learning how the brigade were doing, how big or small the progress was. She felt as if a part of her rested there at the station, though she couldn't get back to it.

"Hi, Rodriguez."

She heard the familiar voice and couldn't help smiling."

"How is your physiotherapy going?"

"It's going as fast as it can. Which is not very quickly." Elle sighed. "How is the team doing?"

"Everyone is missing you. Especially in the truck. You know O'Malley will never be as good a driver as you were." Were stung Elle's heart. She had to get used to her current life, but a part of her still yearned for the thrill of action.

"That's just obvious," she joked. "I hope I can get back someday."

"We all do." Ramirez paused for a moment, and Elle felt she had something on her mind. But Ramirez couldn't be rushed, and she knew that eventually she'd tell her. They rested quietly on the line for a while, enjoying the momentary comfortable silence.

"Listen," Ramirez began. "I have an offer for you."

"Oh really?" Elle's interest was piqued. "What is it?"

"I think it would do you good to do some work. I know you must be bored nuts right now, the only thing on your mind being rehabilitation. A woman can go insane this way, so I thought I'd talk to my superiors."

"And?"

"I have a job for you. A desk job, but it's all I can offer you for now. Once you're back on your feet, literally, you'll be able to join us again as a firefighter." Ramirez seemed proud of her suggestion, waiting excitedly for Elle to speak.

"A desk job? What kind of desk job?"

"Talent management. You would take care of newcomers to our brigade. Isn't that exciting? Judging people as a job? I think you'd be a perfect fit. On a more serious note, your achievements and years of experience would make you a valuable asset."

Elle sank into thought, never having considered working a desk job. She definitely had never considered hearing such an offer from Ramirez, but then, everything changes, and nothing should surprise her at this point.

"I'm grateful for the opportunity, Captain, I'll think about it. I'll let you know in the coming days. Is that all right?" She didn't sound convinced, but her words were sincere. She wanted to give it fair consideration, and she trusted Ramiez to know what she was saying.

"I know it's definitely a change from what you're used to. But sometimes changes are good, don't forget. You may learn something new, so give it some thought and don't hesitate to let me know. I'll support you either way."

"Thanks, Captain," Elle got slightly flustered, never knowing what to say in the face of such sincerity from Ramirez. Ever since her injury, their relationship had grown all the more affectionate.

Hanging up, Elle felt impatience creep up her back again. She felt such a strong urge to discuss everything with Maya, but there were still three hours left until she'd be able to get to Elle's place. She wanted to do something active while waiting.

From her kitchen cupboard, she took out her mother's old cookbook. Even though their relations had been sour for a long time, there was something tender about this spice-scented book containing the recipes Elle remembered from her childhood. She decided to prepare dinner for Maya.

Flipping through the book gave her a thousand ideas, and quickly, she became overwhelmed not knowing what to choose. An enchilada? A tostada? She remembered all the family dinners with ugly bowls and deliciously smelling dishes. Her own plates were beautiful, but she hadn't cooked in ages. She'd figure something out.

The plan she settled for was lobster enchilada as the main dish and vegetable quesadillas as the appetizer. She had to get to work, go shopping and start cooking, otherwise she'd run out of time. She got out of the house, grateful for a multicultural store right next to her.

The first part of her shopping went quickly—onions, peppers, jalapenos, corn, tomatoes, tomato paste, cilantro, beans, cheese, and guacamole. She had to get the lobster from somewhere, but she had no idea where that would be in her neighborhood. She could almost hear the disappointment in her mother's voice if she found out that Elle wasn't cooking for herself. Her mother had tried raising her daughter to be strong, but not strong the way men traditionally are – hiding their emotions and flexing physical strength. She wanted Elle to know how to take care of herself and not depend on anyone. She taught her how to cook, sew, and effortlessly find her way in the big city, all accompanied by Elle's childish complaining. Unfortunately for her mother, Elle's father had always been the stronger influence, his ways shaping his daughter more than her mother's teaching ever could.

She finally found a fish market. Going around in her wheelchair was still slowing her down significantly, though her technique was improving. She bought a big lobster, then questioned herself ever choosing a lobster dish.

Was she trying to show off? Probably.

Back home, she realized she had no time to waste. She had to put all of her half–forgotten cooking skills into the dinner, working tirelessly. She tried standing for most of the time, supporting herself against the kitchen counters, but whenever there was a need, she reached for her wheelchair or a stool. The kitchen was soon filled by the scents of her home cooking, and she began feeling very nostalgic. To share this with Maya would be a vulnerable gesture.

The enchiladas were safely nested in the oven when the doorbell rang. Elle wanted to run up to the door, but the cooking efforts had exhausted her, and she had to stay in the chair, rolling toward the door.

"Good evening." Maya smiled, walking in. Soon, she began sniffing in the fragrant air. "Elle, have you been cooking?" She turned towards Elle, surprised.

"I made us dinner," Elle said proudly. "What's more, I was actually standing almost the whole time."

"Are you kidding me? That's amazing news!" Maya leaned in for a quick kiss, and Elle could smell her beautiful flowery fragrance mingled with the remnants of a hospital scent.

"Yeah, let's sit down, though. The food is ready." she sat at one of the dining table chairs. Ever since the injury, she preferred to sit with Maya—at tables, on couches, or in bed. Then, she didn't feel strange being lower than her, the way she had to be when she sat in the wheelchair and Maya was standing.

Maya sat opposite her, clearly excited. Elle loved seeing her this way.

"I don't remember the last time you cooked for me, Elle. This is amazing, I'm starving. Tell me all about the food, though," she said, taking a quesadilla. "Bon Appetit!"

Elle also took one as she explained. "So actually, my mother left me her family cookbook. I don't know whether you remember that one time we tried making dessert from it, but we failed and never tried again."

"Hmm... I don't remember the book, exactly, but I surely remember some of our failed dessert attempts." Maya laughed, taking a bite. "This is so good. Thank you so much, Darling."

"I'll show you the book later, if you want. It's full of the things I ate as a child. It feels quite nostalgic to cook from it, you know."

"I'd love to see it!" Maya nodded excitedly, finishing her second quesadilla.

Elle smiled, remembering the lobster dish.

"Are you ready for the main dish?" she asked, carefully getting up and transferring onto her wheelchair. She thanked herself every day for making her kitchen large.

"Oh my god, of course." Maya got up, too. "Do you need any help?"

"No, no, it's fine," Elle said hurriedly, not wanting to be perceived as weak.

"Let me rephrase the question: Can I be around you in the kitchen so I don't feel useless?" Maya tilted her head, waiting for the answer.

"Sure. Let's go."

They had to wait twenty minutes for the enchiladas, and in the meantime, got busy with each other. They finally were out of the hospital, free to make out whenever they liked, for however long they liked. It felt fresh and liberating, youthful even. It was golden autumn outside, but their kisses felt like spring, blooming in unexpected places.

Maya loved to steal Elle's wheelchair and try rolling around the house. One time she bumped into the coffee table and knocked down a little ceramic vase, which scared her and then made her bump into a wall. It caused them both to laugh for long hours.

The timer rang.

"Let's get the food out," Elle exclaimed, realizing how hungry she felt. At first, she thought she wouldn't eat as much due to sitting in the chair all day, but she quickly learned that rolling it with her arms cost her as much effort if not more due to the new nature of the movement. "I'm starving, too."

"Let's get the food out!" Maya clapped. "You're my favorite chef."

"Yours and yours only, Baby." Elle laughed, getting the hot dish out.

They sat down again and began devouring the dish, feeling as if they possessed some secret key to happiness. Elle put on some jazz in the background and felt quite satisfied with herself. Full-bellied and well-humored, their conversation went in a more serious direction.

"I was thinking a lot today," Elle said. "About our future, my job, the house. I'd like to talk about a few things with you."

"You sound so mature." Maya laughed. "You're making me feel old, but maybe that's a good thing." The dim light from Elle's living room lamps was caught beautifully in Maya's hair, and for a moment she didn't respond, only sat with the beautiful sight of her girl.

"First, I wanted to say that I like the idea of moving in together. I'm sick of living on my own when I'm with the woman of my dreams. What would you say?"

"You know that I'd like that, too."

"And I know you don't want to let go of your apartment in favor of my place. I honestly don't want this house. I wanted to suggest that I sell it, for a time move into yours, and in the future we can build or find something larger together. Do you think you might consider that?" She put her hands together, curious to hear what Maya would say.

"I like that idea." Maya smiled. "We can consider a house together later down the line," she said pensively.

"Great, I'll look into it, then, I can't wait to move out and be with you full time." Elle sighed with relief. Everything was going great, and the evening couldn't be any more perfect for her. "I also got a call from Ramirez today."

"What'd she say?" Maya asked, stacking the plates together to help clean up.

"She offered me a desk job."

"Oh?" Maya looked at her with careful curiosity. "What would it be, and what do you think about it?"

"Talent management. Basically handling recruitment, etc. I'm thinking about it." She looked down. "I probably won't be able to go back to my old job for years to come. I'd have to fully recover. And I need a job, so I'm thinking of taking it."

"That's a very wise idea. I think Ramirez really cares about you," Maya said while carrying the dishes to the kitchen.

"Stop cleaning up. You're a guest!" Elle shouted after her.

"I'm not a guest when I'm your partner. If you make the meal, I'll clean up. Don't worry." She went back to kiss Elle's head. "I think it'd be nice to at least see whether you like the job with the department. Maybe it'll surprise you."

"Maybe," Elle shrugged. "How is your work going?"

"Tiring. The insane inflow of patients finally stopped, and we're back to the usual. Should we watch something on TV?"

"Sure," Elle eagerly agreed.

They put on some French film, but neither of them were focused on it. Maya began sneakily kissing Elle's neck, and Elle retaliated, kissing her face.

"What are you doing, love?" she whispered, stroking Maya's back.

"Nothing," Maya said sweetly. "I'm just so happy to be here with you." She kissed Elle's lips, tracing them patiently with her mouth.

Soon, she was sitting on top of Elle, completely blocking the screen. Her hands were sliding up and down Elle's torso, now and then stroking her hard nipples.

"

Nice movie," Elle joked, grabbing Maya's hips. "I missed you there."

"I know." Maya nodded. "We should've done this earlier."

Maya beautifully ground her hips into Elle, and Elle reached to take Maya's shirt off. She was thirsty to see her naked torso, her beautiful breasts moving in harmony with her body. Once the shirt was off, Maya's pinned hair fell down, cascading onto her shoulders and reaching down to her nipples in golden streaks.

"You're so beautiful," Elle whispered. "Have I ever told you that?" She rose to reach Maya's face and lay a kiss on her lips. Her tongue slipped in and out teasingly.

"Many times," Maya giggled, taking off her skirt. She was left in only her underwear.

"But have I really told you?" Elle teased, touching Maya's hardening nipples, driving her hands down to her panties. Her fingers began circling around Maya's clit through the thin fabric, taking her sweet time.

"Tell me again." Maya smirked, taking off Elle's shirt. "And I will tell you how beautiful you are. So beautiful I want to strip you naked and kiss your whole body."

"No one's stopping you," Elle said, unbuttoning her linen pants, in themselves hardly any barrier. Through their fabric she could feel Maya's warm, naked thighs, grateful to be able to feel her legs to witness that. Her pants soon fell to the ground.

"Maya, I need to taste you on my tongue," Elle whispered into her ear, running her hands down Maya's back and reaching her butt. Maya began lowering her underwear, teasingly, sensually, obnoxiously slowly. Elle's mouth watered when the little piece of fabric finally fell to the floor.

Maya got on her knees and put herself to Elle's impatient mouth. They went slowly at first. Elle knew Maya liked riding her tongue best and was building up to that. Maya's thighs in her hands felt perfect, soft and smooth, exactly what she'd been craving. Soon, Maya began moaning, the sweet, quiet first moans Elle delighted in, and she kept going at their favorite pace, knowing exactly what to do and feeling blessed to know it. When her moans got louder, she sucked a little on Maya's clit and felt her come closer but wanted to prolong it so went back to sliding up and down, the moans forever growing louder.

When Maya came, they lay next to each other, panting. Their break didn't last for long, however, because soon Elle felt Maya's fingers around her pussy, tracing along her thighs, praying for them to open. Elle couldn't not listen. She loved being teased this way, and more than anything she loved showing how eager she was to get fucked. She knew very well that Maya got off on this as well, on seeing Elle squirm under her touch.

"

The couch isn't the most comfortable, is it?" Maya said, her fingers dangerously close to Elle's opening.

"Mhmm, it's fine." Elle shrugged it off, impatient.

"Why don't we go to your bed?" Two of Maya's fingers slipped in, making lazy circles inside. "I think it'd be more comfortable, love."

"It's upstairs, though," Elle complained, not wanting to go through the difficulty of getting up there. She'd need to be helped and didn't want it to ruin the mood.

"Elle." Maya got closer to her, gently kissing her neck. "I'll always help you without question. You know that, Darling. I love you."

Elle stared at her, hearing her say I love you for the first time in seven years. Her heart stopped for a moment. She couldn't understand how casually it had escaped Maya's lips. She grabbed Maya's hands, laughing. "You can't say something like that while inside of me." She shook her head.

"I'm serious." Maya looked at her fingers, flustered. "Sorry about that. I want you to understand that I'm serious. I love you, Elle."

Elle pulled her closer, kissing her passionately.

"I love you, too," she finally felt ready to say, looking into Maya's eyes, confident in the strength of her feelings. They kissed again. "I love you a hundred times. Let's get ourselves upstairs." She nodded at the staircase.

"Yes." Maya got up, offering Elle support.

The trip upstairs went surprisingly smoothly. Elle could easily lean on Maya and was glad she had suggested it once they'd laid down on her bed. Its softness made them dizzy with pleasure, and the cool duvet felt salvatory against their heated skin.

Maya's fingers were strong and precise as usual, and she worked on Elle's body with no less craftsmanship than a sculptor creating a classical sculpture, attentive to each delicate detail and fold. Their bodies moved in delicious unison, and their panting was music to both of their ears. Once Elle came, they stayed in each other's arms for a while, breathing into each other's skin and enjoying their earthy tangle of chaotic hair and sweat-sticky limbs.

Without either noticing, night enveloped the windows all around the house, casting its soulful, shadowy spell on the atmosphere. Elle thought that the house wasn't that bad when Maya was in it, that indeed she could live in any house as long as they remained together.

"Should we put on some music?" she asked when the silence around them got a little bit too loud.

"Sure." Maya nodded. "What do you listen to these days?"

Elle got up, clutching the edge of her mirrored vanity. Her legs felt unruly, but she wanted to practice as much as she could. She knew it wasn't about the muscles being tired but her brain, and her brain seemed to her more plastic than her limbs.

"Some chill jazzy rap, mostly," she said, putting on her favorite playlist and falling back onto the bed, lying flat on her back, dizzy with the effort of standing.

"You know," Maya scootched closer to her, the beats of the music fuzzily enveloping her soft voice. "You shouldn't overwork yourself when you're recovering. You also need to allow yourself time to rest."

"But it's not my body that's actually tired. It's my brain. And I feel like I can bend it a little bit more to my will." Elle yawned.

"Your brain is a part of your body," Maya was quick to remind her. "And it can grow tired just like any muscle or limb. Rest will do you good from time to time."

"Whatever you say." Elle rolled onto her stomach, giving Maya the hundredth kiss of the evening. "You're the doctor."

They rolled around the bed, comfortable in each other's presence. Their confessions of love still occupied parts of Elle's mind, and it was still such a fresh thing. They began making out again, their tongues never tired of exploring each other's mouths, their embraces feeling as electric as ever.

"I want to fuck you again," Maya whispered into Elle's ear. "Can you take it?"

" Can I take it? " Elle laughed, "Baby, I'll take whatever you give me."

Excited, Maya left the bed. Waiting for her to get back, Elle knew what awaited her. She melted just at the thought. She felt Maya's hands on her ass cheek, diving in between her thighs from behind.

"Ah, look how wet you are. You can't wait, can you?" Maya smiled, her harness fully on. "I want to do something very intimate."

"Oh, yes?" Elle looked at her, waiting.

"Yes, I want to take you like this," Maya said, taking Elle in her arms.

They lay embracing each other closely, and Elle couldn't remember the last time they'd had sex in a true missionary position. Their faces close to each other felt like the most intimate experience on Earth.

"Do you like this?" Maya asked, pushing slightly stronger into Elle. Her hips were moving with a calm, steady rhythm, not wanting to take things too fast, too aggressively.

"I love it," Elle whispered, moaning quietly.

They moved entangled this way for what seemed like the sweetest kind of eternity, not the one that feels prolonged through nuisance, but the one that feels so sweet every second clings like syrup on a sticky summer day, melting into minutes like ice cream under the cruel rays of sun. Maya's skin glistened from sweat, and Elle wouldn't have it any other way than to be below her in that moment. Their breaths, tingly from the sweetness of non-alcoholic wine, mingled together, and Elle began craving a release.

"Make me come please," she moaned, getting wetter from hearing her own words exist in the space between her and Maya.

"As you wish," Maya whispered in response.

As her movement became increasingly sweet and aggressive, she reached to touch Elle simultaneously. Elle didn't know what pleased her more, the touch itself, or the feeling of Maya's hand knowing her every corner utterly, fully, actively. Their bodies rode each other like tidal waves, accumulating pleasure and releasing it in the form of Elle's increasingly louder moans.

When Maya tipped her over the edge, she felt as if taken by a waterfall, flowing down with the water, dangerously accelerating but still within the flow of herself. Their foreheads met, and they experienced a sweet, deserved tiredness.

"Should we shower?" Maya said, resting against Elle's torso.

"We should."

Showering was another problem that Elle had encountered after her injury. Now in her bathroom there were three stools at all times, supporting her in every activity that would otherwise require standing. She had to shower sitting down and felt quite peculiar about it.

With Maya everything felt easy, however.

In the shower, they joked around, helping each other wash their backs, enjoying the cool stream of water falling down on their smiling faces. Elle couldn't believe her luck to be with the person she loved freely and joyfully. She wanted to contain every single moment in her memory, replay it before falling asleep every night. With Maya she could forget about her injury, she could forget about the anxiety of not getting back to her job. All that mattered was that they stood (and sat) together under the shower, joking and spilling lavender-scented soap everywhere.

"We should probably get out. We're wasting so much water," Maya noticed, looking at Elle. Her eyes were sparkling beautifully.

"Wherever you go, I go," Elle sang very badly, but it was okay. Neither of them could sing very well. "You'll need to help me up, though," she added casually.

Brushing their teeth, they looked at each other in the mirror reflection. Elle didn't know how it could be possible to find someone who looked so impossibly beautiful when she was simply brushing her teeth, naked except for an old t-shirt. She preferred this version of Maya out of all of them. She loved it when Maya would get dressed up with her tasteful makeup and elaborate hair, but she knew that there was no other way for her to be more beautiful than simply standing naked after the shower, brushing her teeth. Nothing could beat that simple, intimate beauty accessible only to Elle.

"I'll miss you at work," Maya said, having spat out the toothpaste. "Can't wait to live with you."

"You'll still have to work when we live together. You know that, right?" Elle laughed. "Unless we want to retire early and sit in our beautiful garden all day growing tomatoes and listening to classical music."

"Hmm…" Maya looked at Elle with a carefree smile. "Fifteen more years and we have a deal. We'll grow tomatoes and listen to classical music in our lovely garden. Should we grow cucumbers, as well?"

"I don't know how cucumbers grow," Elle admitted, "but I can learn."

They went back to the bedroom, Elle with Maya's support. She was getting used to accepting Maya's help without being weird about it, realizing it was only temporary, understanding that she'd be ready to do the same for her. The ceiling window looked out on the night sky, starless due to the city's light pollution.

"Isn't it sad," Maya dived into an embrace with Elle, their bodies keeping each other warm in the pleasant air chilled by night, the windows in the room were left slightly open, "That we can't see any stars from here? I love Phoenix Ridge, but sometimes I wish I lived somewhere far from the city, somewhere remote where the sky is still beautiful."

‘It is slightly upsetting," Elle agreed, adding, "But don't you think it's beautiful in its own way, the fact that we've built our own stars and they eclipsed the sky? We're living among them now." She smiled at the thought. "We're our own little blinking stars."

"That's a nice way to put it." Elle felt Maya nod against her chest. It was so pleasant to feel each other so close that they didn't have to look for each other's reactions, only feel them against their skin.

"I have a question," Maya said after a while. "Did you have dreams during your coma? I never asked, but I thought about it quite a lot."

Elle took some time to think. "I did," she answered. "They mostly consisted of remote memories floating around blurring into each other. It was a strange experience, though very peaceful. I could feel myself floating around my mind, never in control, simply carried by its currents."

"Do you remember anything specific?" Maya prompted.

"I remember one memory of the sea. It was very peaceful. I'd completely forgotten about it until then. When I was a little child, my family and I used to camp on the beach for many days during the summer. When I was six or seven, I started sneaking out of the tent to walk along the beach in the early morning when my parents were still asleep." Elle ran her fingers through Maya's still wet hair, wishing they could visit the sea themselves.

"That sounds beautiful," Maya said dreamily. "We rarely know what happens to patients during a coma. It's still a bit of a mystery. Some wake up saying they don't remember being in any state of dreaming, while some wake up saying they had nightmares in repeat. I'm glad that for you it was rather calm. The way you describe it sounds pensive."

"It was, in a way. I felt completely alone with myself. In a good way." Elle fixed the sheets around them. "I also dreamed of our fight, the one that ended our relationship before."

"Oh, I'm sorry." Maya looked up to find Elle's eyes. "How did it make you feel?"

"I think I understood your emotions better than ever. In the dreams, I didn't fully remember people. I don't think I knew your name when the scene was replaying in my mind, but I was very attuned to the feelings floating around the room. It prompted me to form a proper apology to you."

For a while they remained quiet, not knowing what to say. Maya's thumb traced along Elle's arm, and Elle enjoyed the slightly tickling sensation.

"I'm glad it brought us closer in the end," Maya finally said, yawning a little. "I'm grateful for whatever has led us here. I wouldn't change anything. Besides your injury, of course," she added quickly.

"Fuck my injury. I'll get out of it." Elle kissed Maya's head. "I'm glad to have you here. It's the perfect place for you to be, I think."

"I agree," Maya said, yawning again, and Elle could feel her drifting off to sleep.

Soon, she felt her chest rise and fall in the steady rhythm of sleep. Elle didn't want to follow, afraid of losing the sensation of Maya asleep against her body, wrapped up in her duvet. She embraced her, looking up to see the starless night sky through her window. From time to time she watched an airplane pass. She knew that her house was on some flying route, the airport being south of the city. She didn't feel sleepy at all, instead soaking in the intimate night, bathing in the calm atmosphere. She tried matching her breath to Maya's, holding it in after each inhale to even it out.

She felt good as a quiet observer, watching the clouds roll about the sky, listening in to the peaceful silence. Breath in, breath out, she tried keeping up with Maya's sleepful rhythm. When she finally succeeded, the sky was becoming more purple with each new drop of sunlight, and her eyes closed with the first signs of dawn.

"Get up, Darling, the sun is shining and I'll have to go soon," Maya sang to Elle, touching her shoulder.

"Hi." Elle sat up, slightly disoriented. "I thought you'd be gone by now. You said you had an early shift today?" She looked at the clock, which read clearly 8:20 a.m.

"I'm a liar though." Maya laughed. "I start later. I'll be working through the night. I made you breakfast, can you smell it?"

"Are you kidding me?" Elle inhaled a faint scent of something floury and sugary rising from downstairs. "I love you, but what the hell."

She delighted in the way the words I love you could comfortably roll from her tongue now, so fitting and effortless. She put on some clothes that came flying to her from the top of the drawer, then let Maya help her descend the stairs.

"What'd you make?" she inquired, impatient.

"Crepes. You had all the ingredients, so I thought why not. " She kissed Elle's forehead. "Bon Appetit. We need to eat them fast. I still need to go by my house before work."

They sat down and began assembling their crepes, honey and chestnut spread, fig jam and cottage cheese. The sweet smell decorated the entire kitchen, and Elle couldn't believe this was now her life. The warm crepe almost dissolved in her mouth.

"You're a master crepe maker," she mumbled around a mouthful of food.

"Don't exaggerate." Maya waved her hand. "You deserved it after yesterday's masterful dinner."

Maya finished eating and collected the plates, then began gathering up her things. They both knew she wouldn't get all of them, and it wouldn't matter, because she'd be back in no time. This comfort relaxed them both.

With the corners of her lips still full of jam, she laid a sticky kiss on Elle's cheek.

"I need to get going. I had a lovely time with you."

"Wait a second." Elle removed the jam with her finger. "There you go, doctor. "

"Very funny." Maya rolled her eyes. "I'll be back with you in no time, you know that?"

"I know." Elle nodded.

"Now don't get cocky." Maya kissed Elle's lips tenderly. They got stuck in an embrace for a moment, then pulled away.

"I really need to go." She picked up her back and put on the autumn coat. At the door, she turned to add, "I love you!"

"I love you too," Elle responded before the door closed.